Am I Wrong? Is this insult????

maki2011

Thanks for all the replies from different perspectives!! But I really need to say something for myself!

Firstly, if i said on purpose from my heart, i won't bother here, and won't feel grievance,devastated and won't care what he thinks about me anymore!

Secondly, I think I need to put these into the context! After he suggested FWB, I refused politely; said FWB doesn’t work for me! At this stage the whole thing should be end up due to our different aims, we both move on with good memories (we really had 10 perfect dates) …. But he chase ask the reason, chased asking why not!! He even asked me he ugly?? So I replied back those two texts without thinking! If he didn’t chased asking why, is he ugly.. (Can you guys imagine, If you, how you reply back???) I definitely won’t say that! And i always think even i said that, he should know i just say with sad with anger, but i didn't mean it, because If he is that bad, I won’t like him at all!! only he knows himself how deeply I trust and like him. And is he choose to give up this ‘relationship’, not me!

Because of these, when he said I insult him I malicious, I want cry, I feel injustice/grievance; I feel my world collapse, devastated! I really didn’t say that on purpose, and I never think anything about revenge/retaliate! Because I don’t like fight, I don’t like confrontation…

I don’t know why some of you said his suggestion FWB is fair. Is FWB that common in Ireland??? From my personal perspective, I think that’s the worst hurt/insult! Because seems except physical-my body, I don’t have anything else worth him to like… I think these are much more hurtful than the judgement of appearance.
(In other word, I still don’t think bald, belly, these superficial things are big deal! If somebody judges my appearance I won’t mad at all…

And In my culture usually after dated 2 or 3 times, we admit relationship first, and then developing, but this doesn’t mean it must works!!! If it not works, that’s fine, broke up friendly, move on…. But in Ireland, seem people dated for ages before ‘official’?? Consider it’s in Ireland, I have made ‘effort’ , changed my view, dated him 10 times without any conversation about this, and actually in our 10th date, this was brought up not on plan, just in accident... in some way, this make me feel 'regret', thought if we didn't have that exclusive conversation, we still together now, give him more time to know me...

Anyway, thanks again for all the replies, I accept the criticism… (But some criticism really cruel, really hurtful!!!) I will notice in the future, avoid saying anything about people’s appearances in any situation.




=======================================

hello all.

I had been seeing this guy at beginning of February, till End of March we had been out for 10 dates. I like him and think he likes me as well, everything seems perfect to me! But finally proved that all these feelings are my unilateral, because at our 10th date, I bring up the exclusive topic, he said he didn’t see anyone else, but he don’t want exclusive, too soon for moving to the next step, something like that... Ok, that’s fine, move on. We ended up with ‘broke up’ texts at end of March. I deleted his number.

Two week later, (last weekend) he texted me again, sent some erotic texts, said my body is nothing he had been experienced, missed cuddle me and fall sleep, balabala... and imply he wants be friend with benefit...

Of course i denied be friend with benefit! Followed I sent him these two texts which highlighted below and which made him mad, said I insult him!! Said I malicious!!

‘I have a good family, good friends, good job... I think I can find a guy treat me well as a girlfriend, why I choose with you let you use me for sex?’
‘More straightforward, You are bald, you don’t have muscle, you have belly, your back, your neck… you have so many ‘problems’why you??

But I didn’t feel any insults at all! Firstly, all I said myself is truth! Secondly, is him didn’t give me respectful as a woman, he choose to end it, and then contact me again and said he want sex, friend with benefit! And last, even i said he bald, belly... But what’s wrong with bald, Princess William are bald, Jude Law are bald, loads of celebrities are bald!! And what’s wrong with belly, we all ordinary people, maybe only fitness instructor’s body shape are perfect!

How do you guys think??? Am i wrong? Thanks in advance.

gifted

maki2011 wrote: »

hello all.

I had been seeing this guy at beginning of February, till End of March we had been out for 10 dates. I like him and think he likes me as well, everything seems perfect to me! But finally proved that all these feelings are my unilateral, because at our 10th date, I bring up the exclusive topic, he said he didn’t see anyone else, but he don’t want exclusive, too soon for moving to the next step, something like that... Ok, that’s fine, move on. We ended up with ‘broke up’ texts at end of March.

Two week later, (last weekend) he texted me again, sent some erotic texts, said my body is nothing he had been experienced, missed cuddle me and fall sleep, balabala... and imply he wants be friend with benefit...

Of course i denied be friend with benefit! Followed I sent him these two texts which highlighted below and which made him mad, said I insult him!! Said I malicious!!

‘I have a good family, good friends, good job, good car, my home, I think I can find a guy treat me well as a girlfriend, why I choose with you let you use me for sex?’
‘More straightforward, You are bald, you don’t have muscle, you have belly, your back, your neck… you have so many ‘problems’why you??

But I didn’t feel any insults at all! Firstly, all I said myself is truth! Secondly, is him didn’t give me respectful as a woman, he choose to end it, and then contact me again and said he want sex, friend with benefit! And last, even i said he bald, belly... But what’s wrong with bald, Princess William are bald, Jude Law are bald, loads of celebrities are bald!! And what’s wrong with belly, we all ordinary people, maybe only fitness instructor’s body shape are perfect!

How do you guys think??? Am i wrong? Thanks in advance.

You did tell him he had problems.....

bee06

Are you serious! Those texts were completely insulting. I can't believe you are even asking this question. You clearly were insulted by his FWB offer and went out of your way to insult him back.

fineso.mom

You meant it as an insult when you wrote it. You even said he had so many 'problems' so you obviously meant it as an insult. On the other hand you were insulted that he asked you to be friends with benefits so you are both even now. I would not contact him again and move on.

maki2011

gifted wrote: »

You did tell him he had problems.....

but like i explained after, even i said that, what's the big deal???

What's wrong with bald?? Prince William is Bald, Jude Law is Bald, so many celebirities are bald !! And what's wrong with belly?? We all ordinary people!! ..


And I sent him 'see the facts clearly with the eyes! Instead of being sensitive with what person's wording!'

Because I think Only the facts illustrate everything! And the facts are: even he was that bad, that imperfection, I like him..

XsApollo

If you are telling him all these things , bald , belly , back, no muscles and then saying why you?
You are insinuating these are problems so why would you be FWB when he is bald, belly, back.
Yes it's insulting.

When you asked about both of you being exclusive.
It would be like him replying, you have pot belly , stretch marks, small lips , too small, why exclusive with you.
I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking its fine and normal.

njs030

Why do you care op? You don't want what he's offering so forget him delete his number and move on.

maki2011

maybe i should mention, English is not my native language - -

Because in our last ten dates, i really feel everything is perfect! If have little unsatisfactory, i won't bother here, move on!!!

maki2011

XsApollo wrote: »

If you are telling him all these things , bald , belly , back, no muscles and then saying why you?
You are insinuating these are problems so why would you be FWB when he is bald, belly, back.
Yes it's insulting.

When you asked about both of you being exclusive.
It would be like him replying, you have pot belly , stretch marks, small lips , too small, why exclusive with you.
I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking its fine and normal.

ha, thanks for your example. maybe i indeed wrong ... but he also? we are both even now？

gifted

maki2011 wrote: »

but like i explained after, even i said that, what's the big deal???

What's wrong with bald?? Prince William is Bald, Jude Law is Bald, so many celebirities are bald !! And what's wrong with belly?? We all ordinary people!! ..


And I sent him 'see the facts clearly with the eyes! Instead of beijing sensitive with what person's wording!'

Because I think Only the facts illustrate everything! And the facts are: even he was that bad, that imperfection, I like him..

Perhaps you could have worded your " positive feedback" a bit more subtle...

maki2011

bee06 wrote: »

Are you serious! Those texts were completely insulting. I can't believe you are even asking this question. You clearly were insulted by his FWB offer and went out of your way to insult him back.

I really Wrong??

but like i explained after, even i said that, what's the big deal???

What's wrong with bald?? Prince William is Bald, Jude Law is Bald, so many celebirities are bald !! And what's wrong with belly?? We all ordinary people!! ..


And I sent him 'see the facts clearly with the eyes! Instead of being sensitive with what person's wording!'

Because I think Only the facts illustrate everything! And the facts are: even he was that bad, that imperfection, I like him..

bee06

maki2011 wrote: »

I really Wrong??

but like i explained after, even i said that, what's the big deal???

What's wrong with bald?? Prince William is Bald, Jude Law is Bald, so many celebirities are bald !! And what's wrong with belly?? We all ordinary people!! ..


And I sent him 'see the facts clearly with the eyes! Instead of being sensitive with what person's wording!'

Because I think Only the facts illustrate everything! And the facts are: even he was that bad, that imperfection, I like him..

Yes you were wrong. You basically said I'm great, I have a great life. You have all these problems ... why do you think I'd bother with you.

XsApollo

maki2011 wrote: »

ha, thanks for your example. maybe i indeed wrong ... but he also? we are both even now？

Ha maybe you are even now :-P
Yea he was a bit insulting too with the text after a few weeks.
I'm not saying you were wrong to reply to his text like that, just that it was insulting.

Colonel_McCoy

"You are bald, you don’t have muscle, you have belly, your back, your neck… you have so many ‘problems’why you?? "


Thats just nasty and those insults are not needed

Hannibal_Smith

Ah op even if the language isn't your first, surely you have tact? Listing their faults is offensive in any language. Yes. You were insulting. It seems though he's not interested in anything serious so I wouldn't even spend another second thinking about it. Move on.

bmwguy

You knew they were insulting, why else would you use them?

How would you like if someone called you hairy legs, fat bottomed, flat chested girl with a moustache? It's the exact same thing

What's wrong with flat chested, Kiera Knightley is flat chested....etc........

I personally wouldn't say that to any girl, and if a circumstance came up when I did Say something like that, it would be to hurt a person. Just like you did.

Could you say that to a guy in your native language in your native country?

ibarelycare

You obviously meant it as an insult, and tried to backtrack by saying Jude Law is also bald. You said these things out of anger, why are you trying to prove you didn't? Just move on.

s15r330

I'm going to take a guess here that the op is asian?
From my experience they will say stuff like this straight out and not consider it insulting.

In work one lad from Asia asked an Irish person "how did you get so fat?" He was genuinely asking the question, and didn't consider the word fat an insult.

Big Bag of Chips

You meant it as an insult to say "I can have any man I want, why would I settle for sex with you, someone bald, you don’t have muscle, you have belly, your back, your neck… you have so many ‘problems’why you??"

If you didn't mean it to insult him then I see no possible reason for listing it all out. Surely he knows he's bald, you don't have to tell him. Your reasons for not taking him up on his offer was the list you listed out. And letting him know that you could do a lot better than him.

To be honest, I think you were more hurtful than he was. He said he missed you, said he missed cuddling you and 'implied' a friends with benefits thing. He was just suggesting something that seems fairly common these days. (And it a not even clear that he did suggest it) You on the other hand returned with a list of reasons why you wouldn't bother with him.

Unnecessary, and yes insulting.

BetsyEllen

Highly insulting and you are a horrible, nasty girl.

If I received a text from someone I'd been intimate with telling me I had a belly and other problems, I would honestly be devastated.
I can't even imagine how that would affect me...it would destroy my self confidence.

What a horrible person you are.

s15r330

BetsyEllen wrote: »

Highly insulting and you are a horrible, nasty girl.

If I received a text from someone I'd been intimate with telling me I had a belly and other problems, I would honestly be devastated.
I can't even imagine how that would affect me...it would destroy my self confidence.

What a horrible person you are.

That's a bit much.

It's not like they were together and all of a sudden this came out of the blue.

They went on 10 dates, in anyones book that's leading towards a relationship.

Your man suddenly pulls out, and a few weeks later comes crawling back looking for a handy ride.

She was dead right, why settle for someone who treats you like that.

Cop on to yourself.

Big Bag of Chips

s15r330 wrote: »

She was dead right, why settle for someone who treats you like that.

She didn't have to settle for that treatment. But equally she didn't have to run him into the ground on his physical appearance. A physical appearance that 2 weeks ago didn't seem to be an issue for her.

He chanced his arm. She was unnecessarily nasty.

Edit: if its a cultural thing, OP, then maybe it's a lesson to learn that "just telling the truth" is sometimes uncalled for. Especially if it's said in a way designed to cause hurt.

amtc

Sometimes it's best when you say nothing at all...to quote lyrics.

There was no need to respond. It is rude. To see these things in black and white is just not nice, no matter if true.

You sound very precise...10 dates. If I were dating someone I wouldn't be counting them. Tbh you sound hard work.

BetsyEllen

s15r330 wrote: »

That's a bit much.

It's not like they were together and all of a sudden this came out of the blue.

They went on 10 dates, in anyones book that's leading towards a relationship.

Your man suddenly pulls out, and a few weeks later comes crawling back looking for a handy ride.

She was dead right, why settle for someone who treats you like that.

Cop on to yourself.

No it's not.
If a fella text you saying you had a belly, bad hair, were ugly etc you would honestly think that's OK?
I highly doubt it!
If she wasn't interested she only had to walk away, there was NO need for such personal and nasty insults.

s15r330

BetsyEllen wrote: »

No it's not.
If a fella text you saying you had a belly, bad hair, were ugly etc you would honestly think that's OK?
I highly doubt it!
If she wasn't interested she only had to walk away, there was NO need for such personal and nasty insults.

If a fella text me i'd say i'm not gay but thanks.

But it was ok to make her think they were heading for committment only to pull the rug from under her and all but say you'll do when i'm stuck but i'm not making you my girlfriend?!

Kimbot

OP i'm sure you wouldnt like him texting you calling you bald, fat, have some issue with your neck and back and that your riddled with problems.
You insulted him and it was brutal, there was no need for it at all.

bee06

s15r330 wrote: »

If a fella text me i'd say i'm not gay but thanks.

But it was ok to make her think they were heading for committment only to pull the rug from under her and all but say you'll do when i'm stuck but i'm not making you my girlfriend?!

Where did the OP say he led her on? When they have the exclusivity conversation he was honest and said he wasn't really for that yet. They weren't on the same page so they broke up.

Neyite

BetsyEllen wrote: »

Highly insulting and you are a horrible, nasty girl.

If I received a text from someone I'd been intimate with telling me I had a belly and other problems, I would honestly be devastated.
I can't even imagine how that would affect me...it would destroy my self confidence.

What a horrible person you are.

BetsyEllen wrote: »

No it's not.
If a fella text you saying you had a belly, bad hair, were ugly etc you would honestly think that's OK?
I highly doubt it!
If she wasn't interested she only had to walk away, there was NO need for such personal and nasty insults.

Mod:

Oh the irony. Personal abuse is forbidden on Boards, and particularly unwelcome in PI where we endeavour to reply to every OP with a level of respect and civility.

Don't post in this thread again.

ibarelycare

s15r330 wrote: »

If a fella text me i'd say i'm not gay but thanks.

But it was ok to make her think they were heading for committment only to pull the rug from under her and all but say you'll do when i'm stuck but i'm not making you my girlfriend?!

You're putting words in the OP's mouth. She said none of this. They saw each other for less than a couple of months. They were still getting to know each other. He wasn't ready for commitment, which is fair enough given the short amount of time they knew each other.

Then he text her saying he missed cuddling her and sleeping with her and missed her body. OP said he "implied" that he wanted a FWB situation, but she hasn't expanded on that so we don't know exactly what was said. I take it from the above that they'd had a sexual relationship previously, so yeah he was chancing his arm. He may have been a bit crass for the OP's taste, but I don't think he deserved to be insulted the way she did.

woodchuck

To answer your questions directly:
Are you wrong? Yes.
Is it an insult? Yes.

He was chancing his arm with the friends with benefit thing, but there was no need to be so mean in response to it. You could've just said no and left it at that. You can try to justify your texts all you want, but it was completely insulting! On the extreme off chance you genuinely think it's acceptable based on a different culture/language, for future reference: yes, these comments are 100% insulting.

Eimee90

Stop justifying your actions, Op, you know you insulted him. Both of you are childish. You used those comments as a retaliation to being broken up with, so stop trying to maintain it was just a normal conversation

Big Bag of Chips

maki2011 wrote: »

And last, even i said he bald, belly... But what’s wrong with bald, Princess William are bald, Jude Law are bald, loads of celebrities are bald!! And what’s wrong with belly, we all ordinary people, maybe only fitness instructor’s body shape are perfect!

If there's nothing wrong with it why did you list it out as part of his problems after her upset you? You certainly weren't doing it to compliment him and liken him to Prince William or Jude Law!

And you are lying to yourself now to try convince yourself that you weren't being mean and he is 100% the bad guy here. He upset you and you got personal.

I'm sure he won't be back now, so move on. And in future maybe consider your words if you don't want people saying you are malicious and insulting.

Ask yourself why you choose those words specifically, why you said those things to him, what you wanted to achieve by saying those things. And if you're honest with your reasons then you'll know if you were insulting him.

LegacyUser

maki2011 wrote: »

but like i explained after, even i said that, what's the big deal???

What's wrong with bald?? Prince William is Bald, Jude Law is Bald, so many celebirities are bald !! And what's wrong with belly?? We all ordinary people!! ..

But you said it as a insult, a negative. Why would you be with him because he is bald is an insult. The first text is fine - you've got a lot going for you so you don't need a boyfriend who doesn't treat you right but then following up with everything thats wrong with him that wasn't needed. Drop it now, you've moved on so why do you care if he was insulted?

maki2011

Thanks for all the replies from different perspectives!! But I really need to say something for myself!

Firstly, if i said on purpose from my heart, i won't bother here, and won't feel grievance,devastated and won't care what he thinks about me anymore!

Secondly, I think I need to put these into the context! After he suggested FWB, I refused politely; said FWB doesn’t work for me! At this stage the whole thing should be end up due to our different aims, we both move on with good memories (we really had 10 perfect dates) …. But he chase ask the reason, chased asking why not!! He even asked me he ugly?? So I replied back those two texts without thinking! If he didn’t chased asking why, is he ugly.. (Can you guys imagine, If you, how you reply back???) I definitely won’t say that! And i always think even i said that, he should know i just say with sad with anger, but i didn't mean it, because If he is that bad, I won’t like him at all!! only he knows himself how deeply I trust and like him. And is he choose to give up this ‘relationship’, not me!

Because of these, when he said I insult him I malicious, I want cry, I feel injustice/grievance; I feel my world collapse, devastated! I really didn’t say that on purpose, and I never think anything about revenge/retaliate! Because I don’t like fight, I don’t like confrontation…

I don’t know why some of you said his suggestion FWB is fair. Is FWB that common in Ireland??? From my personal perspective, I think that’s the worst hurt/insult! Because seems except physical-my body, I don’t have anything else worth him to like… I think these are much more hurtful than the judgement of appearance.
(In other word, I still don’t think bald, belly, these superficial things are big deal! If somebody judges my appearance I won’t mad at all…

And In my culture usually after dated 2 or 3 times, we admit relationship first, and then developing, but this doesn’t mean it must works!!! If it not works, that’s fine, broke up friendly, move on…. But in Ireland, seem people dated for ages before ‘official’?? Consider it’s in Ireland, I have made ‘effort’ , changed my view, dated him 10 times without any conversation about this, and actually in our 10th date, this was brought up not on plan, just in accident... in some way, this make me feel 'regret', thought if we didn't have that exclusive conversation, we still together now, give him more time to know me...

Anyway, thanks again for all the replies, I accept the criticism… (But some criticism really cruel, really hurtful!!!) I will notice in the future, avoid saying anything about people’s appearances in any situation.

Surreptitious

Where are you from? Maybe the culture barrier here has everyone confused. You maybe did insult him but he did lead you on too in one way. You come across as being pretty agitated which is why some of the replies were a bit harsh. I can say anyway that there doesn't look to be a future with him so you may as well avoid him.

Cupcake_Crisis

Op, the guy was well within his rights to ask about a FWB situation and you were well within your rights to decline. When he pushed it you should have just ended the conversation.

Instead, you went on a tirade of highly personal insults designed to hurt him. If this situation were reversed the guy would be the worst in the world.

Imo, you're very much in the wrong and I think you owe the guy an apology.

XsApollo

I don't think she is wrong in saying what she said.
They guy asked was it his looks?

Don't ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer.

Cupcake_Crisis

What I also don't understand is why, if you thought all these things about his appearance, you were asking him about being exclusive? You clearly aren't attracted to him.

I'm going to be honest here, and I don't like saying it, but it sounds like you weren't getting what you wanted from him so you attacked him.

ellie1

I totally get your point.

It is offensive for someone to say I don't want to be in a relationship with you but sure you have a great body and I do want to continue having sex with you.

That is insulting and offensive. I don't blame you for what you said. It was said with anger and sadness and is totally understandable.

He insulted you, you insulted him.

He failed to see how you would culturally find it offensive to be asked for a fwb situation.

Asked if it was his looks and he got highly offended with your response as Irish people are about fat and weight etc but for some reason have no problem with men suggesting to women that she might be flattered to meet up and **** and cuddle after!

Yes, bizarre behavior from him.!!!!

Hannibal_Smith

op just own up to what you said. If he persisted in asking why, and your response was to list his faults, you had to know it would be offensive? I don't care what your culture is, you HAVE to know listing someones faults is not going to end well. If you don't have that empathy then I cannot see how you can conduct a relationship with someone.

Friends with benefits may be insulting to you. Fair enough that is absolutely your prerogative to view that as you do. But your question was not about whether that was offensive. Your question was whether what you said was insulting and yes it was. Two wrongs do not make a right and your last post may explain why you said it, but it doesn't excuse it. Everyone says something in the heat of the moment, but you own up to it and apologise for it.

Though in your circumstances I would imagine you have burned your bridges. I can't imagine the guy would be interested in anything now he knows how you really feel. But then again that was your aim, so what exactly is your problem?

maki2011

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

What I also don't understand is why, if you thought all these things about his appearance, you were asking him about being exclusive? You clearly aren't attracted to him.

I'm going to be honest here, and I don't like saying it, but it sounds like you weren't getting what you wanted from him so you attacked him.

Sorry, Maybe you better read again my update post...

I do like him, attracted to him, both physical and other aspects! Otherwise I won't sleep with him, otherwise I won't ask him being exclusive!

I didn't attacked him at all! Like some of you guys said he leads me (he chased asking why not? Why not him, is he ugly? after I refused FWB politely!) to say something! So I just say that without thinking.

Why does it matter now?

maki2011

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

op just own up to what you said. If he persisted in asking why, and your response was to list his faults, you had to know it would be offensive? I don't care what your culture is, you HAVE to know listing someones faults is not going to end well. If you don't have that empathy then I cannot see how you can conduct a relationship with someone.

Friends with benefits may be insulting to you. Fair enough that is absolutely your prerogative to view that as you do. But your question was not about whether that was offensive. Your question was whether what you said was insulting and yes it was. Two wrongs do not make a right and your last post may explain why you said it, but it doesn't excuse it. Everyone says something in the heat of the moment, but you own up to it and apologise for it.

Though in your circumstances I would imagine you have burned your bridges. I can't imagine the guy would be interested in anything now he knows how you really feel. But then again that was your aim, so what exactly is your problem?

This ending really not my aim! I did everything without any purpose..

If this was I want, attact him back, I should be cheerful, but instead i am so so sad now!

And To be honest, after read all the replies, I know I may wrong, but I don't think that could be called insult! That just come out naturally after he ask why not. He ugly? So I just say the facts. And I also think bald/belly etc not a big deal at all! Bald/belly doesn't mean unattractive, doesn't mean unsexy! (none of my ex is bald, but none of them gave me that sexual feeling he gave me!) Why sensitive with wording! We should see the truth! The truth is I like him! Even he bald/belly I like him, i want being exclusive with him...

Hannibal_Smith

maki2011 wrote: »

This ending really not my aim! I did everything without any purpose..

If this was I want, attact him back, I should be cheerful, but instead i am so so sad now!

And To be honest, after read all the replies, I know I may wrong, but I don't think that could be called insult! That just come out naturally after he ask why not. He ugly? So I just say the facts. And I also think bald/belly etc not a big deal at all! Bald/belly doesn't mean unattractive, doesn't mean unsexy! (none of my ex is bald, but none of them gave me that sexual feeling he gave me!) Why sensitive with wording! We should see the truth! The truth is I like him! Even he bald/belly I like him, i want being exclusive with him...

If you didn't mean what you said to be hurtful, then why did you list physical attributes as reasons for not wanting to sleep with him? You used is attributes to show him how ugly he is and to illustrate how you could do better. The truth is you like him in spite of his faults? Guess what. He'll find someone who doesn't even count them.

Fine.

You said you could find better. Go find better. Leave him alone. He has told you he doesn't want a relationship. You told him you didn't want to be is FWB. That's it. End of.

woodchuck

OP obviously you're upset by what happened. You wanted an exclusive relationship and he was only interested in your body. That hurts, I get it.

However, it does not give you the right to insult him the way that you did. He was just being honest about what he did/didn't want from you. You completely lashed out. And while your actions were probably done through hurt, don't pretend that you weren't trying to insult him.

He hurt you and you wanted to hurt him back. Simple as.

Cupcake_Crisis

maki2011 wrote: »

Sorry, Maybe you better read again my update post...

I do like him, attracted to him, both physical and other aspects! Otherwise I won't sleep with him, otherwise I won't ask him being exclusive!

I didn't attacked him at all! Like some of you guys said he leads me (he chased asking why not? Why not him, is he ugly? after I refused FWB politely!) to say something! So I just say that without thinking.

If you are attracted to him then why did you go about listing every one of his physical flaws? Rather than just saying sorry, we want different things and ending it there.

This whole thing reads like he offended you by only wanting to be FWB so you lashed out and are now looking for justification.

I don't think you're going to get that here because I think you handled the situation very badly

maki2011

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

If you are attracted to him then why did you go about listing every one of his physical flaws? Rather than just saying sorry, we want different things and ending it there.

This whole thing reads like he offended you by only wanting to be FWB so you lashed out and are now looking for justification.

I don't think you're going to get that here because I think you handled the situation very badly

Yes! I refused FWB doesn't work for me politely! And the whole thing should be end kindly with good memories... But he chase me for the reason, chase asking why not him? He ugly? Then I just come out without thinking.

But like I said, till now, I still can not fully understand most of you consider these are insults! In my opinion, bald/belly really doesn't mean anything, doesn't mean unattractive, unsexy, because we all ordinary people, we all have all kinds of flaw.

Ursus Horribilis

If you can't understand why those tone deaf comments are insulting, it might just explain why you're single. What are you looking for from this thread anyway? You and this guy have no future together so why all the threads?

Hannibal_Smith

maki2011 wrote: »

Yes! I refused FWB doesn't work for me politely! And the whole thing should be end kindly with good memories... But he chase me for the reason, chase asking why not him? He ugly? Then I just come out without thinking.

But like I said, till now, I still can not fully understand most of you consider these are insults! In my opinion, bald/belly really doesn't mean anything, doesn't mean unattractive, unsexy, because we all ordinary people, we all have all kinds of flaw.

If they're not flaws, then why did you use them as reasons for why you wouldn't sleep with him?

professore

To be blunt, i can see why he wanted only a FWB situation. You are incapable of admitting when you are wrong about anything​ - even to people online who don't even know you. To me this is the most unattractive thing in any person.

starWave

maki2011 wrote: »

But like I said, till now, I still can not fully understand most of you consider these are insults! In my opinion, bald/belly really doesn't mean anything, doesn't mean unattractive, unsexy, because we all ordinary people, we all have all kinds of flaw.

If its a flaw, then it is insulting to point it out. You intended to hurt him, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. You basically said if you wanted a fwb, you could do way better than him.