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Cuddle buddy - how to???

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  • 17-04-2017 2:49pm
    #1
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭


    Not sure if this is the right forum so mods by all means feel free to move it if needs be the case...

    I'm looking for a girl companion who I can cuddle with. I don't really like sex but I've been single pretty much all my life and although only recently, the lack of companionship is really starting to bother me. I want someone to be close with, I've read up on the concept of having a cuddle buddy, but I don't know how exactly to go about finding one.

    Can anyone here help me out?


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Comments

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    #2
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Mod snip

    Try a dating site for asexuals who just like to cuddle too?


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    #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Mod note
    JackTaylorFan - please take care. PI has a high standard of posting with mod actions being a common reaction to posters who cross that line.


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    #4
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    JackTaylorFan wrote: »
    Mod snip

    Try a dating site for asexuals who just like to cuddle too?

    I have tried that but it seems that nobody in my area is using those sites. I'm really feeling a bit lost here


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    #5
    Flibble
    Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭Flibble


    I have no idea why i know this, but Google cuddle parties in Ireland, OP. I saw an ad for one in Bray a while ago, I'd imagine you'd be able to meet someone at one of them if you went.


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    #6
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    Flibble wrote: »
    I have no idea why i know this, but Google cuddle parties in Ireland, OP. I saw an ad for one in Bray a while ago, I'd imagine you'd be able to meet someone at one of them if you went.

    I found a website referencing that alright, but my email bounced back because the address is apparently no longer in existence. I'm based between Limerick and Clare


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    #7
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Have you looked for groups on FaceBook?


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    #8
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    kylith wrote: »
    Have you looked for groups on FaceBook?

    Yeh, tried that. Plenty of groups in the US, none seemingly in the west of Ireland, pity


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    #9
    Flibble
    Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭Flibble


    burnsey1987 wrote: »
    I found a website referencing that alright, but my email bounced back because the address is apparently no longer in existence. I'm based between Limerick and Clare

    I just checked the cuddle party Irish website & it's still very active. The front page has a link to a meetup.com group, with dates over the next few months for events. Prob your best bet to make contact.

    You may need to travel at first towards Dublin, but once you make connections I'd say you'll find someone closer to home.


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    #10
    Wesser
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    Very interesting concept.


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    #11
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    Why dont you try organise one? advertise it and youd be surprised, you cant be the only one who likes that kind of thing.


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    #12
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    Is it part of a bigger issue OP? do you have a reasonable amount of social contact? Its not something I have ever heard about but there have always been single people but no particular impetus for this particular "solution". Have you considered more conventional ways of ameliorating the situation, getting a pet, joining a dance class maybe , even going for a message occasionally. The way I look at it is that you would be going down a sort of fetish route as its not exactly an activity that you can mention to the lad down the pub so could create more isolation and might cause as many issues as it solves.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #13
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    silverharp wrote: »
    Is it part of a bigger issue OP? do you have a reasonable amount of social contact? Its not something I have ever heard about but there have always been single people but no particular impetus for this particular "solution". Have you considered more conventional ways of ameliorating the situation, getting a pet, joining a dance class maybe , even going for a message occasionally. The way I look at it is that you would be going down a sort of fetish route as its not exactly an activity that you can mention to the lad down the pub so could create more isolation and might cause as many issues as it solves.

    To be honest I don't see what's odd or fetish-like about wanting to be close to another person


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    #14
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    burnsey1987 wrote: »
    To be honest I don't see what's odd or fetish-like about wanting to be close to another person

    no for sure, but there seems to be an element of putting the cart before the horse? Maybe I misunderstand how it works, do you get to know the individual well first? The concept of "friends with benefits" is well established but its normally based on having a prior relationship with the individual or being friends for a while, so in that context I cant see an issue with what you want.
    However if they were strangers more or less I'd find it peculiar

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #15
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Genuine question:

    OP, is that what you are after?

    [Mod snip - videos not allowed in PI]


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    #16
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    JackTaylorFan wrote: »
    Genuine question:

    OP, is that what you are after?

    [mod snip]

    Not exactly that but I'd be up for it all the same


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    #17
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    burnsey1987 wrote: »
    Not exactly that but I'd be up for it all the same

    So more a one-on-one thing?

    Are you actually asexual, op? Your original questions kinda reads that way.


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    #18
    Wesser
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    silverharp wrote: »
    burnsey1987 wrote: »
    To be honest I don't see what's odd or fetish-like about wanting to be close to another person

    no for sure, but there seems to be an element of putting the cart before the horse? Maybe I misunderstand how it works, do you get to know the individual well first? The concept of "friends with benefits" is well established but its normally based on having a prior relationship with the individual or being friends for a while, so in that context I cant see an issue with what you want.
    However if they were strangers more or less I'd find it peculiar


    But plenty people have sex with randomers they just met in a night club. This is definitely putting horse before the cart!!! Surely cuddling is way less extreme and safer then that.

    When you say you can't see an issue with what he wants..... why would he be seeking your approval of what he wants???!!! He is not posting on this forum to seek your approvel of his desire to hug someone!!!

    If the man wants to give a stranger a hug, and said stranger is up for it, then let the man give te stranger a hug!!!!

    And a fetishism?? Wtf? A hug is a fetishism?

    Op.......My opinion is, go for it start with the cuddle party, your not going to have a choice anyway coz no girl is going to meet you alone for cuddles at the beginning....you might meet someone special at the party and then you can cuddle alone?

    Best of luck!


  • Options
    #19
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    JackTaylorFan wrote: »
    So more a one-on-one thing?

    Are you actually asexual, op? Your original questions kinda reads that way.

    Exactly, yes. I have considered myself to be asexual for a couple of years now. I mean, I like girls, I just don't want sex


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    #20
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    burnsey1987 wrote: »
    Exactly, yes. I have considered myself to be asexual for a couple of years now. I mean, I like girls, I just don't want sex


    So, a romantic asexual.

    Okay, I still think you are better off looking for a relationship (asexual or otherwise) if you want a cuddle partner. No offence, but most people don't want to cuddle people they hardly know.

    We live in a weird society where cuddling has become more intimate than sex more often than not.


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    #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    OP, it might be worth looking into fetish websites. Or see if there are any geared towards asexuals. What you're looking for might be hard to find in a lot of places, especially dating sites, since sex would be a large part of dating for most. At least on these you might find people more open to the possibility of what you want.


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    #22
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    OP, would you be open to using an escort, if all else failed? I'm sure that spending a while cuddling would probably be a nice change for them, and a lot less weird than some of the stuff they get asked to do.


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    #23
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    Deleted User wrote: »
    OP, it might be worth looking into fetish websites. Or see if there are any geared towards asexuals. What you're looking for might be hard to find in a lot of places, especially dating sites, since sex would be a large part of dating for most. At least on these you might find people more open to the possibility of what you want.

    No, just no


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    #24
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    Wesser wrote: »
    But plenty people have sex with randomers they just met in a night club. This is definitely putting horse before the cart!!! Surely cuddling is way less extreme and safer then that.

    When you say you can't see an issue with what he wants..... why would he be seeking your approval of what he wants???!!! He is not posting on this forum to seek your approvel of his desire to hug someone!!!

    If the man wants to give a stranger a hug, and said stranger is up for it, then let the man give te stranger a hug!!!!

    And a fetishism?? Wtf? A hug is a fetishism?

    apples and oranges, go up to someone in a night club and ask to cuddle them and you will probably get maced.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #25
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    kylith wrote: »
    OP, would you be open to using an escort, if all else failed? I'm sure that spending a while cuddling would probably be a nice change for them, and a lot less weird than some of the stuff they get asked to do.

    I don't think I'd go to such extreme measures, not yet anyway


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    #26
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    silverharp wrote: »
    apples and oranges, go up to someone in a night club and ask to cuddle them and you will probably get maced.

    I did that a couple of times when I was a bit younger, reactions varied, but definitely didn't get maced


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    #27
    Dr Crayfish
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    Just get married. You wont have to have sex after a couple of months but you'll still get to share a bed with someone.


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    #28
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    Dr Crayfish wrote: »
    Just get married. You wont have to have sex after a couple of months but you'll still get to share a bed with someone.

    Maybe, trouble is, most people I know who are married actually don't like each other very much if at all from what I can see...


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    #29
    SunSeeker101
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭SunSeeker101


    OP, don't take this the wrong way but are you on the autistic spectrum. I hope I'm not offending you but I believe some autistic people may have problems connecting with people in different ways and just wondered if this is why you don't wish to have sex and would prefer to cuddle.


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    #30
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Go for it Op.
    I'm a woman, loves kissing and foreplay.
    Could really leave sex and just have foreplay all night.
    I don't see the big attractiom or I've been doing it wrong😂😂


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    #31
    burnsey1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    foreplay wrote: »
    Go for it Op.
    I'm a woman, loves kissing and foreplay.
    Could really leave sex and just have foreplay all night.
    I don't see the big attractiom or I've been doing it wrong😂😂

    A lot of people say this to me. It is actually quite annoying. One other person actually suggested that I needed to go and see a specialist to try and get to the root cause of why I feel the way I do. I initially thought he was taking the p1ss but realized he was actually dead serious. Needless to say, I ****3d him out of it


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