How aRsed are you about your appearance?

Bambi985

Hello loungers,

Bit of a general musing. i've found since I turned 30 a few months ago my interest in investing lots of time in my appearance is dwindling, to the point where what once was a mammoth effort is now more of a quick look-over.

In my mid-20s I'd set aside about an hour in the morning to get ready, whether I was working or heading out for coffee or lunch with friends. Makeup could take that amount of time on its own, hair was a proper operation involving blowdryers, hair straighteners, curling irons etc and clothes choice was a serious consideration. I also spent most of my disposable income on new makeup, clothes, shoes, the latest skincare products etc.

These days my routine is basically this: shower, teeth, throw hair back into a top knot or (if bothered at all) a run-around with the hair straightener, quick smathering of tinted moisturiser, maybe a lick of mascara and wear whatever's clean, pressed and office-friendly. Prob 25 minutes tops.

I've also noticed that I'm less aware of people's awareness of me, if that makes sense. As in, I don't really give a sh1t who looks and who doesn't. In my 20s my self-esteem was very much determined by other's perceptions of me and getting "checked out" seemed to serve as some sort of validation.

Does this tally with anyone else's experience of getting older as a woman? Or could it just be down to the fact that I'm a bit lazier these days :pac: and maybe also that I have a boyfriend, so don't need to worry about attracting other men etc.?

baby and crumble

I am both more and less concerned about my appearance since hitting 30(ish).

When I was younger I knew how I wanted to appear, but I didn't have the confidence to do so, so I kind of just let myself wear baggy clothes, really casual. Granted I was young, a student and worked as a care worker in a disability organisation, so casual was the best option.

So now I find myself wearing the likes of jeans and hoodies far less, and I've also found myself choosing my clothes with intention- I try and wear well made and well cut trousers, polo shirts and shirts with collars, etc. It's not really anymore actual effort- it's still trousers and a top- but it means more to me now. I am religious about getting a haircut every month (I have a short style and it gets messy fast!) and I don't like leaving the house without styling it.

However, I care far less bout what others think about how I look. For years I didn't let myself wear shirts and ties, or bowties, or suits, because i didn't want to be "that" butch lesbian. And in fairness, a 21 year old looks stupid in a 3-piece suit and bowtie, or wool trousers and a blazer at the weekend, let's be honest. A 35 year old can pull that off much better, which makes sense. But I also just don't give a crap anymore if people see me and judge me for not being the kind of woman they want to see in the street etc. F*ck 'em, I look awesome.

sullivlo

Meh. If it's something I need to look alright for then I'll make a bit of an effort.

General day-to-day involves straightening my hair (since I got it cut it needs to be straightened to avoid looking like I had an incident with a socket), putting on clothes (usually jeans and boots/runners/flats) and brushing my teeth. I never wear makeup in the day time.

If I'm going out I'll put on some eye makeup. Maybe some tinted moisturiser.

I don't see the point in dressing up or putting in the effort to make people notice/to satisfy others. I'm comfortable in myself, my appearance. I'm not scruffy. I'm not dirty. I don't judge others for what they choose to wear and how much effort they put into their appearance so I like the same courtesty extended to me.

But if they care, I really, really don't :pac:

Life's too short.

Bambi985

It's nice to hear people have similar attitudes to me!

I live in London and seem to be perpetually surrounded by uber glamorous women, with crazy contoured makeup like the celebs you see on Instagram and expensive shoes, handbags, coats etc. I like my fashion too but it's in a lot more could-take-or-leave-it kind of way these days.

I've been trying to bump up my savings recently so the expenditure on expensive products and new clothes has been way down, and I've found the less you spend the less you need to spend on that kinda stuff. Spending these days is more out of necessity E.G. im out of foundation or am due a hair cut - as opposed to I saw someone wearing something on the street and simply HAVE to have it.

Saying that, there are things I will do religiously too that can be costly and I could always do without EG eyebrow threading, shellac nails, Botox every 4-5 months.

I just find in a general sense, how I look plays on my mind a lot less than it used to.

robyntmorton

If I'm not doing much I'll do enough to make myself look tidy. Not a massive effort, but some.

If I'm out and about doing things, I do try to look half decent. That means a little more effort is needed.

If I'm going out for a night, I try to look good, and put in the work for it.

The important thing is that I do it for me, because it makes me feel good. If other people notice me, fair enough, but that's not a priority.

sullivlo

Bambi985 wrote: »

the latest skincare products etc.

I have a boyfriend, so don't need to worry about attracting other men etc.?

Re-reading the OP.

1) Skincare produce..... I think I fall behind in this regard. I wash my face when it's dirty. I usually splash a bit of water on it in the morning. The odd facewipe during the day (whatever is on offer). I moisturise if my skin is dry. I never cleanse or tone or go through any real products. I would bet money that I spend more (time and money) on keeping my bike clean.

2) I'm single. If I "dress up" it's not to attract men. I dress up to feel good about myself. I don't think I have ever dressed up to attract somebody. I reckon I'm probably in a minority on that.

Parchment

Interesting topic!

I do care about how i look - but i want to look how I like to look, not how i think i should look.

Mon-Fri for work i cycle so my clothes are pretty basic, "work" trousers, flats and some sort of a top - all brought in my pannier. I will just fill in my brows and reapply facial suncream when i get into work, hair goes up into a high bun. I dont bother with makeup really for work unless we have some meeting or something which necessitates me taking a car - when i cycle to work im normally really sweaty by the time i get in.

I get my hair coloured a the roots maybe 3 times a year to hide some greys - with Aveda hair colour. I get my hair cut maybe 4 times a year - just a simple shaggy haircut. I get my legs waxed when needed. I dont get anything else done like eyebrows or nails etc - just not my thing.

I *LOVE* clothes and style so at the weekends i get to wear what i like. I wear very minimal makeup at all times and my hair is either in a bun or down - no inbetween! I only like a really natural and effortless look. I hate to use the cliche but i love the "French/Parisian woman/girl" look for makeup.

Skincare is hugely important for me and i read up on scientific studies to see what products will actually work and what is just gimmick. I think good skin has a huge part to play in appearance and i am very fussy about my skin and hair. For me appearance isnt really about makeup and GHD curls - its about good skin, healthy complexion and that "glow" that comes from people who take care of themselves. I am really regimented about my skincare.

Mars Bar

Ahm, I probably should be embarrassed about the lack of arsed-ness about my appearance! I mean, just this morning a child in the school I was in sarcastically said "nice haircut" (I'm getting it cut next week) and another said I had a case of "bed-head". I did comb my hair but it left to dry naturally last night because I was lazy and I've paid for it today. This happens on a regular basis.

I have a couple of pieces of make-up that I use on special occasions but I haven't a notion of what I'm doing when I put it on. I just want enough so that my red cheeks aren't as noticeable after a few drinks.

I don't take great care of my skin which is probably a recipe for disaster seeing as I work outdoors for the most part.

I basically live out of sports clothes and tracksuits.

Bambi985

Interesting post Parchment and I relate to you on a lot of fronts.

I remember when I was younger, I thought taking care of yourself was all those superficial things - the highlights and the extensive makeup routine and the fake tan and the fashion-forward outfits. However I had a terrible diet - literally subsisted on junk food, no notion of proactive skincare, didn't sleep enough or drink enough water, etc etc. The things that actually matter to your overall health.

I learned from the crappy skincare as sun damage has caused me more wrinkles than I should have at my age, the diet contributed to dehydrated skin and acne and the Ghd over-reliance left me with dry, brittle hair. I'll invest in good skincare products way before I'll even think about makeup these days and never leave the house without a high SPF. But I'm just not arsed with the full face of makeup and the fancy outfits and the styled hair and all the rest of it.

Parchment

Mars Bar wrote: »

I don't take great care of my skin which is probably a recipe for disaster seeing as I work outdoors for the most part.

All you really need is a good SPF!

baby and crumble

I realise my last post was easy on the skincare stuff. I'm lucky in that I have naturally good skin- I rarely get spots even if i don't cleanse/tone/moisturise. TBH I swear by Nivea products. My Mam only ever used their Creme (you know the stuff in the giant blue tub?) and I'm the same, although I have switched to a lighter day cream of theirs with SPF for during the day. I've flirted with more expensive stuff but since I never ever wear makeup, I don't really need them, I always end up going back to the basics. I did invest in a sonic facebrush thingy (lies- my girlfriend got it and I use it in the shower too!) and it's actually great.

Oh, and I'm actually willing more grey hairs to come in. Luckily the ones that are seem to be more silver than grey- when the light hits them they look so cool! I wear shiny hair products all the time which helps. I plan on being a silver fox.

Mars Bar

baby and crumble wrote: »

Oh, and I'm actually willing more grey hairs to come in. Luckily the ones that are seem to be more silver than grey- when the light hits them they look so cool! I wear shiny hair products all the time which helps. I plan on being a silver fox.

Oh yes, this is the same for me!

Mars Bar

Loveinapril wrote: »

My grey hair is shocking. I am 34 and a dark brunette. My granny had stoney grey hair. I loved the idea of going grey and keeping my long hair (noone ever does that!) as an old lady but my greys grow in one big fluffy tuft on one side of my head. They really don't look good.

There's a teacher in one of the schools I go to and she has the most amazingly long grey hair and I'd say she's only in her 40's. It's beautiful.

My hair is short so it's not to bad. It's spread out apart from a few spots and it's not too obvious unless you're close to me.

Bambi985

Loveinapril wrote: »

My grey hair is shocking. I am 34 and a dark brunette. My granny had stoney grey hair. I loved the idea of going grey and keeping my long hair (noone ever does that!) as an old lady but my greys grow in one big fluffy tuft on one side of my head. They really don't look good.

Me too I get them all on the left side of my parting and nowhere else. And they're not grey as much as WHITE. I find it weirdly satisfying to pluck them out or run a colour-corrector pen over them, but christ it's a sign of ageing I could live without!

baby and crumble

Mine are all along my temple and where i part my hair. I think they look cool! I always wished my Mam didn't colour her hair, she had awesome salt and pepper (slightly more salt!) and it looked deadly.

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Sunny Dayz

I'm going against the grain here and saying that I am ar$ed about my appearance. I'm in my early 30's and while I'm generally happy in myself, I enjoy shopping for clothes, putting on makeup etc, I kinda of wish I made more of myself when I was younger, I was awkward as a teenager, not a pick on me, hadn't much fashion sense, make up was horrendous when I did bother wearing it.


By the time I got to my late 20's my natural slimness disappeared. To most I still look quite slim, but clothing hides a lot and I exercise and watch what I eat now when I hadn't to do that for 25+ years before.
But now in my early 30's I enjoy looking at clothes, styling outfits. I enjoy make up. I wear it most days because I like it, and it's part of my routine for getting ready.


I have started to pay more attention to my skincare. I'm at the stage now where age is starting to show so I want to just look after myself as best I can. I've always looked younger than I am, it was a curse as a teen but love it for the most part now and want to enjoy it for as long as I can!


I am lazy when it comes to my hair though, which is a pity cos my hair is actually naturally blonde. I get a scattering of highlights once or twice a year to brighten it up a bit and have it cut in a graduated bob/lob. Some mornings I'd be lucky to brush it!

Mars Bar

On the flip side, I get my hair done every 8 or so weeks and my eyebrows and bikini wax. I go to the gym and try to watch what I eat so I guess that covers it!

In my twenties I was very in to my appearance. I wouldn't step outside the door unless I was impeccable. Expensive facials, hairdressers, clothes, handbags. These days in my mid thirties I'm far more relaxed. I do keep myself very well but it's without much fuss. HD brows and elaborate nails are not for me. Facials are no longer and my hair cut is €50 instead of the usual €100+. I colour it myself.

Skincare is still a big deal to me. I spend a bit of money on cleansers and moisturisers and good quality makeup. I could be wearing €80 foundation while my entire outfit be worth about €30

Bambi985

sullivlo wrote: »

2) I'm single. If I "dress up" it's not to attract men. I dress up to feel good about myself. I don't think I have ever dressed up to attract somebody. I reckon I'm probably in a minority on that.

I'd never wear something I wasn't comfortable in or didn't actually like to attract anyone. But I've always been aware that there's a certain level of male attention that comes with being dolled up, full face of makeup,, hair done, high heels, stylish clothes etc that isn't quite the same when you make less of an effort. I suppose when I was single I was conscious of and I quite enjoyed it, now that I'm 30 and settled with someone, I couldn't care less.

meeeeh

I don't know if I am low or high maintenance. My clothing style is fairly relaxed and can be casual but I can't stand shabby or dirty shoes, clothes in poor condition and similar. I am careful not to wear badly fitting clothing, unflattering materials and so on. I don't wear scarves or much jewellery so other clothes have to be right because there is nothing to hide behind. I wear make up but relatively natural looking stuff, I don't like the heavy glam look. I go to hairdresser every 6-8 weeks for colour and cut, I should go more often. I get low maintenance cut so getting ready in the morning doesn't take too long. I wash and blow dry hair often but don't do anything else and it's in pretty good condition. I think I have relatively functional approach in getting ready to standard I deem acceptable.

I don't think my approach changed that much. In my twenties I used to wear more jewellery or other accessories, now I just make sure the basics look right. I am more careful to match foundation exactly to my skin tone and things like that. Being single or not makes very little difference to me, I dress for myself. I know people deem me relatively well dressed but I will never be overly admired for hair, make up or outfit I am wearing to a wedding because I just couldn't be bothered with extra effort. And neither would I go for botox or other cosmetic procedures. If that means I have a wrinkle or two more then so be it.

Conor Bourke

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

I'm going against the grain here and saying that I am ar$ed about my appearance. I'm in my early 30's and while I'm generally happy in myself, I enjoy shopping for clothes, putting on makeup etc, I kinda of wish I made more of myself when I was younger, I was awkward as a teenager, not a pick on me, hadn't much fashion sense, make up was horrendous when I did bother wearing it.


By the time I got to my late 20's my natural slimness disappeared. To most I still look quite slim, but clothing hides a lot and I exercise and watch what I eat now when I hadn't to do that for 25+ years before.
But now in my early 30's I enjoy looking at clothes, styling outfits. I enjoy make up. I wear it most days because I like it, and it's part of my routine for getting ready.


I have started to pay more attention to my skincare. I'm at the stage now where age is starting to show so I want to just look after myself as best I can. I've always looked younger than I am, it was a curse as a teen but love it for the most part now and want to enjoy it for as long as I can!

Exact same here!

Re: the grey hair, I've been dyeing my naturally mousy hair grey/silver for the last year or so and I love it so much. When the toner fades in the week or two before it needs to be redone, I'm left with a lovely cool ashy blonde colour. When my roots grow out, I have a look for greys but I seem to have relatively few for my age (my brother who's 5 years younger than me has a lot more than me, my cousin who's a week older than me is practically snow white)

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I actually have a pretty specific taste in clothes and how I like to look but it's very much for me. I wear a lot of men's clothes (jackets, shirts, jumpers and so on) because for one thing they tend to be better made and for another I just prefer the look. I'm quite slim and broad shouldered, I end up looking pretty androgynous most of the time. Like Baby and Crumble it took a long time for me to have the confidence to wear that stuff, I always would have fairly tomboyish though, I'd go out to clubs in jeans and a t-shirt in my early twenties no bother, but I would have put a lot of thought into the specific jeans and t-shirt! Most of the reactions I get to my clothes are of the 'that's...interesting' variety but I really don't care, would have been veeery self conscious when I was younger but not anymore. I have a good figure so I kind of traded on that a lot when I was younger, like it didn't matter so much that I wasn't great at make-up and clothes because I could just flash the flesh instead These days you'd rarely even see my forearms, I'm nearly always covered up, it's definitely an outward manifestation of inner peace. (Comparatively speaking)

Very rarely wear make-up during the day, but I do take the notion the odd time. Generally jeans, shirt and/or jumper, boots or trainers, and almost always a hat unless it's not appropriate. Sometimes a long skirt instead of the jeans, sometimes a dress and tights.

I don't shave my legs, I've never been for any sort of beauty treatment, get a hair cut maybe twice a year, and 'doing my hair in the morning' 90% of the time extends as far as putting on the aforementioned hat. I really like doing my nails though! It's the one beauty treatment I'd be curious about trying. I do take care of my skin as far as drinking loads of water, moisturising every day and trying to remember fcuking SPF in the morning.

DoozerT6

Not as arsed as I should be really.

I hate shopping for clothes. In fact I really only buy clothes when I actually NEED them. I don't shop for pleasure. And being slightly larger (than I'd like ), I tend to buy clothes that cover rather than flatter.

I am bereft of the handbag gene. Also shoes. To me bags and shoes are functional items. Of course, I wouldn't wear bread-wrappers tied around my feet or tote my stuff around in a plastic Tesco bag. Maybe a couple of steps up from that.

I do take care of my skin. I cleanse, use rosehip oil, eye cream, day/night cream. I occasionally even exfoliate and throw on a face mask. When it comes to makeup I prefer to buy a decent brand of foundation, but that's really the only makeup I wear on a day-to-day basis. I rarely 'go out' these days so a full face of makeup is rare for me.

I probably get my hair cut and coloured about every three months or so. I also get my face end eyebrows threaded every so often because helloooo furry!!! I might take a notion and get a bikini wax about twice a year but I'm single, so eh, nobody's looking!!

Sometimes I do look at myself in the mirror and think 'Jesus - you actually left the house like that??'

ShazGV

I am unashamedly ar$ed about my appearance.

I only started getting into makeup after college really, when I started watching YouTube tutorials & following beauty bloggers. I've been dying my hair the past 10 years (at first because I liked having different colours, now I have to maintain to hide the greys - which are very obvious with bright red hair!), would have always put the effort in with my hair but not so much with clothes or makeup.

I've lost a stone & a half in the past 6 months which has made me start to consider what I'm wearing more, because I'm starting to like how I look, and have more confidence to wear the clothes I like/look the way I want to look.

I pretty much never leave the house without my makeup done, but it only takes me about 20 minutes to get ready in the morning & I just love that process now - winged eyeliner every day.

SarahMollie

I'd say I'm still very arsed but my priorities are different if that makes sense.

In my late teens/early twenties I probably favored a more high maintenance exterior. I loved designed handbags, the type that left you in no doubt as to how pricy they were. I was addicted to my GHD and only used the best of make up. I also would have been lost without my MAC black kohl pencil eye liner and Stila lip gloss - I guess it was the look of its time. I always used good skincare brands (mostly clinique back then, which is what my mother always used too) but this was mostly in an attempt to keep my skin clear rather than any real long term thinking.

I used to apply fake tan every other evening before bed and favored Lancome/Clinique products in this area as well, so I was probably spending plenty. I used tan last weekend for the first time in years - I'd left it too late to do the "summer glow" option!

Anyway these days I still probably put in a lot of effort but the emphasis is different. I read up far more on skin care (loving The Ordinary lately) and also use more "cosmasutical" products like Image over Department store brands like clinique - I'm all about the active ingredients. I'm also religious about using SPF, even though I work in an office.

I also get microderm and glycolic peals a few times a year, and have been doing so for the past 3/4 years. My one main addiction is semi permanent lash extensions which I get refilled once a month. I get them done because depsite having extremely dark hair on my head, my eyelashes and eyebrows (general body hair) is very pale, so the lashes mean I don't need mascara or eyeliner really.

A big change is my hair. I have extremely dark hair but had a midlife crisis in my mid twenties and went blonde. It looked good but was incredibly high maintenance. I've now spent 3 years growing it out completely and trying to avoid heat styling etc so that the condition is as good as can be. I'm lucky that I don't yet have an issue with greys, so I now want to get as much from my natural hair colour before that happens. I just let it dry naturally most of the time, but also I think the fact that poker straight hair of the 00's isnt the must that it once was. Now I more so aim for this - http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/03/new-rich-girl-hair-is-everywhere.html

Dolbert

I've always had a low-maintenance look which I don't see changing any time soon. I'm lucky enough to have good skin so my everyday makeup is a 5 minute job, just BB cream/concealer, brows and mascara. My hair is curly so just gets a bit of styling crème on the way out the door. I do like my clothes and my usual work outfit is a dress, cardi and pair of boots. I'd only do full makeup if I knew I was going out that night.

DaeryssaOne

Reading these posts I can't figure out what I am I'm possibly middle maintenance! I would have always regarded myself as low-maintenance as I have no special interest in designer brands or fancy skincare / makeup but I still do apply makeup every single morning (it takes me less than 3 minutes though). Years of GHD abuse ruined my naturally curly hair so I have to blowdry it 2-3 times a week and I apply coconut oil to it for an hour before I wash it.

I honestly don't care about work clothes, I always try to look professional but refuse to wear heels so generally it's just black trousers with flats and a shirt / jumper. Outside work though I love to look good but my style is still very casual.

I wouldn't say I'm not ar$ed about what people think of me as I do love to receive a compliment from a friend or family member but at the same time I don't think I dress to impress anybody else if that makes sense?

Dial Hard

I'd say I'm very mixed-maintenance. I absolutely HATE clothes shopping and avoid it at all costs until I absolutely have to do it. At work, my look would be extremely polished whereas off-duty I dress like a 14 year old boy. I own a ridiculously huge collection of comic book t-shirts for a 35 year old woman. And on weekends I generally live in tracksuit bottoms/leggings because I have a dog that likes to be walked about 4 times a day.

I do, however, absolutely LOVE my heels. The higher the better. I also love make-up, but certainly don't *need* it on to leave the house or anything. I'm not working at the minute while I finish my degree and went out for lunch yesterday with no make-up on. Conversely, there's days where I know I won't be leaving the house but I'll do my face just because I feel like it.

I'm terribly lazy about my hair. Get my highlights done every 3 months or so and wash it once a week. Only bother blow-drying it if I'm going out. It's poker straight, though, so I guess I'm lucky in that regard. I'll whack a bit of fake tan on if I'm wearing something that's showing a lot of skin. NEVER paint my nails. And get a Brazilian every 8 weeks religiously.

So, a bit of a mixed bag, I guess.

Bambi985

It's funny the things you choose to be religious about versus the things you couldn't give half a shyte about and how it varies wildly from person to person.

I've never once had eyelash extensions and have had about 2 Brazilians in my life (OW), would never miss a manicure or eyebrows appointment though. I get my hair done about twice a year but would never go to bed without the 30-minute skincare routine. I could take or leave handbags, rarely seen without my heels though.

I'm reasonably concerned with how I look, but it's not an obsession.

I use a cleanser, spf, vitamin C serum and rosehip oil on my skin, which is thankfully very smooth and clear. Everyday makeup would be mascara, tinted butter gloss and sometimes blush if I'm tired. I hardly ever use more than that, frequently less. My hair is either down or in a bun, I don't use straighteners or dye or blow dry my hair. I swim most mornings usually and tie it up in crazy buns and then let it down and it has a bit of curl. I've good hair, long and shiny, so I don't mess too much with it other than use a good conditioner and a few drops of alma oil.

When I'm not away, most of the time I can dress casually for work, so it's flats, jeans and a nice shirt or even a t-shirt (if I'm in my office all day). A couple of times a week I've to dress more formally, so it's a shift and jacket, a dress or a suit, 2 inch heels max, a little more effort to make the bun tidy or otherwise give my appearance a little more gravitas.

I'd rather spend a good bit on really good quality stuff that I'll get lots of use out of and always looks smart than buy lots of cheaper items. I just wouldn't get round to wearing the amount of stuff some of my friends have, but they'd be more interested in clothes than I am.

Other than those routines, I don't give a second thought to how I look or what I'm wearing. I don't buy many shoes, clothes, skincare, makeup, or have many beauty treatments. I've had the odd manicure or facial and never felt any better or thought I looked better afterwards, so I don't really bother. I've had my makeup done professionally for a work thing, went home and took it all off. I could feel the weight of it on my face and didn't even look like myself. I hate the feel of foundation, the most I've ever worn is a tinted moisturiser or BB cream, I just don't like the feel of heavy stuff clogging up my face.

I don't ever see myself getting botox or anything like that, it doesn't interest me but whatever anyone else wants to do with themselves is fine by me if it makes them happy.

I love nice bags, those are my weakness.:)