Do you go for drinks after work

Gunslinger92

osarusan wrote: »

Should? Why 'should' you?

Socialise with them if you want to, don't socialise with them if you don't want to.

This is the crux of it really.

Personally, in my current job we do go for drinks of a Friday around twice a month minimum. We also go to the cinema together a good bit. We're a small office and we are all in the same age bracket, and this job is a sort of "starting out" in your career job, so we are all at similar life stages.

They're also one of the nicest groups of people I've ever met, so that helps

It was very similar in my last job, one of my very best friends is a girl I met working there and I'm still in touch with a couple of others from there!

I'm aware, and it saddens me, that this seems to be an unusual thing for a workplace. It's lovely to not have Sunday night fear because (well I also love my job) you know you're spending the week with pals.

Parchment

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

This is the crux of it really.

Personally, in my current job we do go for drinks of a Friday around twice a month minimum. We also go to the cinema together a good bit. We're a small office and we are all in the same age bracket, and this job is a sort of "starting out" in your career job, so we are all at similar life stages.

They're also one of the nicest groups of people I've ever met, so that helps

It was very similar in my last job, one of my very best friends is a girl I met working there and I'm still in touch with a couple of others from there!

I'm aware, and it saddens me, that this seems to be an unusual thing for a workplace. It's lovely to not have Sunday night fear because (well I also love my job) you know you're spending the week with pals.

I think you are in the minority and have been exceptionally lucky with jobs/workplaces.

__Alex__

Bambi985 wrote: »

Some people "disappear" as you describe after a certain point because they're tired of the same old piss-ups and the 3-day hangovers and are at an age where they'd prefer to prioritise their partner and closer family/friends and a more healthy and tranquil life.

My OH (mid-30s) recently laid it down for his mates, told them that heavy, boozy nights have lost their allure to him. The hangovers, the crap food that go with them, the fact that gym doesn't happen on a hangover day, the sense that half the precious weekend has been wasted due to the hangover, the money wasted, the messiness. He just doesn't enjoy them any more and they will be getting very curtailed. I've has no hand in this. He said they were taken aback and, sadly, he admitted to me that it will probably mean he will drift apart from some of them.

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

It's lovely to not have Sunday night fear because (well I also love my job) you know you're spending the week with pals.

I've had lots of jobs where I enjoyed working with the people and enjoyed the work whilst at the same time not being friends with many or any of them. It's not binary - dislike colleagues/be friends with colleagues.

ronjo

__Alex__ wrote: »

My OH (mid-30s) recently laid it down for his mates, told them that heavy, boozy nights have lost their allure to him. The hangovers, the crap food that go with them, the fact that gym doesn't happen on a hangover day, the sense that half the precious weekend has been wasted due to the hangover, the money wasted, the messiness. He just doesn't enjoy them any more and they will be getting very curtailed. I've has no hand in this. He said they were taken aback and, sadly, he admitted to me that it will probably mean he will drift apart from some of them.



I've had lots of jobs where I enjoyed working with the people and enjoyed the work whilst at the same time not being friends with many or any of them. It's not binary - dislike colleagues/be friends with colleagues.

Why cant he go out with them for a few beers and head home at a reasonable hour?
Thats what I do these days.

Gunslinger92

Parchment wrote: »

I think you are in the minority and have been exceptionally lucky with jobs/workplaces.

I certainly have been. I'm dreading leaving this job!

ImeldaNarcos

Going out drinking with colleagues was more prevalent when I was younger, used to get paid cash every Thursday, so Friday's could be messy, but it was in a manufacturing environment, ah half day Fridays, good times.
Now I have no inclination in socializing with work colleagues.

__Alex__

ronjo wrote: »

Why cant he go out with them for a few beers and head home at a reasonable hour?
Thats what I do these days.

Yeah, he sometimes does. But is not massively arsed. And even a few drinks give him a hangover. And he works long hours and really loves his gaming chair, console and the sofa. People's interests can changes as they get older, I guess. The problem is in Ireland, if they change from the pub, social life can take a nose dive for many people.

__Alex__

__Alex__ wrote: »

Home with the kids and OH or out flapping my gums with people who won't be in my life in a few years times. Hmmm, tough choice!

I have made life long friends in my current job. Some have left and we would still be in contact almost daily and arrange to meet regulalry. I would consider myself very good friends with more than 10 people I currently work with also.

I made very friends with lots of people in my previous work place too so maybe I'm lucky but I'm certainly glad. I've spoken to one or two friends (who I made at work) who have moved on and they work in places where no one really interacts outside of work, even at work there is no craic and they are finding it utterly depressing and looking to move on to different jobs because of it. They can't even get people together for a few pints after work on a once off occasion.

Some people may change but I have the same desire for a good feed of pints on a friday night in my 30's as I did when I was 20, even better now as I can afford it much more.

Bambi985 wrote: »

Your weekly schedule of social events sounds like my idea of hell. I'd absolutely hate that many nights out and pub trips and restaurant dates in any given week, it'd exhaust me and I'd have no time or money for the things I actually enjoy, hobbies and investments and exercise and the things that start to mean more once you've reached a certain age and are bored of the pub scene.

Some people "disappear" as you describe after a certain point because they're tired of the same old piss-ups and the 3-day hangovers and are at an age where they'd prefer to prioritise their partner and closer family/friends and a more healthy and tranquil life.

Going out to pubs and restaurants is one of my favourite pastimes and its what enjoy so I would hate not doing it similar to you hating doing it.

Thankfully I get over bad hangovers in a few hours so even massive weekend long sessions I'll plough on, do people really get 3 day hangovers. My weekends are usually spent watching sport on tv anyway so a hangover doesn't really impact on it. Some people want a quiet and tranquil life and if they enjoy it fair play to them but to me it would be a boring life and the thought of not having nights out to look forward to would be a bit depressing.

A Shaved Duck?

Paula Bewildered Yardage wrote: »

I'd disagree, basically everyone that I would regularly go to the pub with is in a relationship or married (some even have kids).



It may not be to that extent initially anyway, but there is always room to fit in fairly regular pints after work/over the weekend if you want to. Once the child is over the very young baby stage, sleeping properly etc then there is really no reason not to have a fairly active social life for both parents if they want it, just maybe not togeather as easily (unless you have grandparents etc. close by for minding).



Am I? As I said I know a number of people who still get out fairly regularly after having kids, maybe not as often and not last minute decisions but still out. On the other hand some people just disappear. It's a choice imo (or being whipped).

It is a choice, you can accept that you have new responsibilities and adjust your behaviour accordingly or you prioritise your need for a few pints over your family.

To basically say your gonna do the same thing after without any negative impact somewhere is frankly Bull****.

ronjo

__Alex__ wrote: »

Yeah, he sometimes does. But is not massively arsed. And even a few drinks give him a hangover. And he works long hours and really loves his gaming chair, console and the sofa. People's interests can changes as they get older, I guess. The problem is in Ireland, if they change from the pub, social life can take a nose dive for many people.

Aha he is maturing :D

Sorry yes yes, I know.... games are for adults etc etc..

whisky_galore

Never drink with colleagues after work, and I steer well clear of the 'organised fun' that includes management.

Will have a quiet drink very occasionally with one or two select workmates and that's about it.

Have a busy social life outside of work, work is work and once I leave the place in the evening it can be forgotten about...for a while at least.

yourdeadwright

People can never go to a pub and still have an active social life, I actually feel sorry for people who think like that and don't realise there is way more to life than pubs and beer gardens, Its a real Irish mid 20s thing and some people just get stuck in it for life, Don't get me wrong the odd night out is nice but weekly would have zero appeal to me infact id hate it ,

yourdeadwright

People can never go to a pub and still have an active social life, I actually feel sorry for people who think like that and don't realise there is way more to life than pubs and beer gardens, Its a real Irish mid 20s thing and some people just get stuck in it for life, Don't get me wrong the odd night out is nice but weekly would have zero appeal to me infact id hate it ,

Sunny Disposition

Paula Bewildered Yardage wrote: »

I'd disagree, basically everyone that I would regularly go to the pub with is in a relationship or married (some even have kids).

But I'm not saying no one in their 30s who isn't single doesn't go out, just that most people won't do it very regularly, ie weekly or more often.
Btw your workplace sounds v good if you like socialising that much with your colleagues and they are into it too. What kind of industry are you in? 100% genuine, it must be good to be in work like that, lots of people who are satisfied enough with their jobs are glad to get away from it all when they've a chance.

andekwarhola

Used to go out once a month or so with work (I've liked most of my colleagues in my last few jobs). Usually used to have a few drinks with them then meet friends afterwards.

I have kids now and pick them up on Fridays so it's ruled out for me. To be fair, most colleagues in my age group are the same.

As for going out in general, I definitely go out less since I've had kids. Obviously they're not an excuse to stop going out (I still love to go out with friends but nowhere near as much as before). That's by choice, not because of some edict from high. Plus most of them have also cut back anyway.

I too find it a bit strange that people just stop meeting their friends when they have kids (purely IMO) but it's equally strange to see people not easing back on an intense social life after they have kids.

Electric Sheep

I think it might be only in Ireland that a social life is associated so closely with the pub. There are other ways of socializing for most people in most societies.

Pac1Man

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I think it might be only in Ireland that a social life is associated so closely with the pub. There are other ways of socializing for most people in most societies.

It all sounds so samey!

"A hape o' pints and the craic with lads on a Friday".

I'm sure the banter with 'the lads' is mighty, just as it was the previous 51 Fridays.

Sunny Disposition

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I think it might be only in Ireland that a social life is associated so closely with the pub. There are other ways of socializing for most people in most societies.

In fairness I think this has changed a good bit over the last 10 years or so, lot of pubs are fairly quiet nowadays except for weekends. Suppose its a good thing.

__Alex__

Pac1Man wrote: »

I'm sure the banter with 'the lads' is mighty, just as it was the previous 51 Fridays.

Exactly! Surely the craic is better if it's not every feckin' week.

andekwarhola

I note with trepidation that yet another thread is turning into Sanctimonious Analysis Of Irish People's Relationship With The Pub #3456

Obviously girding the discursive loins for Good Friday, one assumes.

Electric Sheep

Pac1Man wrote: »

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I think it might be only in Ireland that a social life is associated so closely with the pub. There are other ways of socializing for most people in most societies.

It all sounds so samey!

"A hape o' pints and the craic with lads on a Friday".

I'm sure the banter with 'the lads' is mighty, just as it was the previous 51 Fridays.

Hearing Nox talk about his car must be rivet.

__Alex__

andekwarhola wrote: »

I note with trepidation that yet another thread is turning into Sanctimonious Analysis Of Irish People's Relationship With The Pub #3456

If it comes up a lot, there's a reason for that. It might be sanctimony or, then again, it might not.

Ludikrus

Paula Bewildered Yardage wrote: »

Only men who allow it happen don't get out to the pub regularly after having kids. I know people who disappear and I know people who are still out fairly regularly even with kids, I'd consider kids having a negative impact if you fall into the first category. Man out Friday night, woman out sat night etc and that sort of thing is fine if you don't want always dropping to the grandparents/getting a baby sitter at weekends.

I have to say its a depressing picture having the above as your main social life* and I certainly don't intend on giving up fairly regular nights out with work/other friends when kids come, its the sort of thing that ends up with people resenting their choices etc.

*Just to clarify the events you described are fine, enjoyable and part of everyones life but I would not consider them a replacement for an active social life.

When you have young kids, the only choice you'll resent is choosing to drink booze last night!

Wanderer2010

Paula Bewildered Yardage wrote: »

I have made life long friends in my current job. Some have left and we would still be in contact almost daily and arrange to meet regulalry. I would consider myself very good friends with more than 10 people I currently work with also.

I made very friends with lots of people in my previous work place too so maybe I'm lucky but I'm certainly glad. I've spoken to one or two friends (who I made at work) who have moved on and they work in places where no one really interacts outside of work, even at work there is no craic and they are finding it utterly depressing and looking to move on to different jobs because of it. They can't even get people together for a few pints after work on a once off occasion.

Some people may change but I have the same desire for a good feed of pints on a friday night in my 30's as I did when I was 20, even better now as I can afford it much more.



Going out to pubs and restaurants is one of my favourite pastimes and its what enjoy so I would hate not doing it similar to you hating doing it.

Thankfully I get over bad hangovers in a few hours so even massive weekend long sessions I'll plough on, do people really get 3 day hangovers. My weekends are usually spent watching sport on tv anyway so a hangover doesn't really impact on it. Some people want a quiet and tranquil life and if they enjoy it fair play to them but to me it would be a boring life and the thought of not having nights out to look forward to would be a bit depressing.

Equally,I would find going to loud pubs and drinking for hours seeing the same faces and talking about the same things soul crushingly boring. There are millions of people in this country just like you- living for the drink, spending whole days in pubs at the weekends and shouting at screens showing sports. If that's what you like fine but it makes you a carbon copy of the majority of young people in this country.
Personally I like talking to interesting people, people who put travel over drinking, people who have interesting stories to tell and interesting ways of looking at life. Call them odd, eccentric or strange, I call them fascinating. Its refreshing to chat to such people and feed off their energy, and given the choice between a loud pub on a Friday night or a quiet coffee with a new mate, Id pick the latter every single time.
A lot of people when they hit mid to late 30s they change and mature and although they still have an enjoyable social life, they no longer feel the need to get off their head and spend a few days after recovering. People who still want to get sloshed after 33 or 34 are just plain immature.