Rio Ferdinand:from love cheat to "hero"?

Bambi985

Seeing clips everywhere from his "Being Mum and Dad" documentary about life after the death of his wife that will be airing on BBC tonight.

While it looks like a very worthwhile programme that I'm sure will help lots of grieving young widowers everywhere, seeing so many people gush about how "inspiring" and "brave" he is on social media seems a bit much, given that he cheated on his wife with more than 10 women and absolutely humiliated her when she was alive.

Now not that he in any way deserved the horrible fate that awaited him, not for a second. And perhaps he's an absolutely fantastic father now and it is his biggest regret in life. But still. Something doesn't sit well with me about how he's now being glorified.

Thoughts?

whoopsadoodles

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Noddyholder

People love real life hero's, & there's nothing like a story of a bad boy becoming good that inspires people it can be done.

Your Face

If you're getting upset about what Rio Ferdinand does, you need help.

me_irl

See that ludicrous display last night?

Bambi985

Your Face wrote: »

If you're getting upset about what Rio Ferdinand does, you need help.

So does your face

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Bambi985

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Fair enough point.

I'd like to see someone put it to him though, that he wasn't exactly Husband of the Year while he was alive. That his wife must have suffered a lot for his mistreatment of her. Instead of the gushing parade of tilted heads and patronising pats on the backs that I'm sure he will receive throughout the doc, though I stand to be corrected.

padd b1975

I'd be more annoyed by the fact that he thinks wearing a baseball cap despite approaching 40 is acceptable.

Your Face

Bambi985 wrote: »

So does your face

Good one.

JackTaylorFan

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Ah, yes it does. What happens when they find out? Do you honestly think one parent's betrayal of the other does not affect a child? Perhaps, it may be the case they never find out - but this guy is in the public eye.

JackTaylorFan

Bambi985 wrote: »

So does your face

OP, just for future reference: Ignore obvious troll

osarusan

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

I'm not too sure it's as simple as that.

One of the things he does is a 'memory jar' where they can all share happy memories of their mother - but I wonder how that will work as they grow older and discover* (which, given his celebrity status, they will) his serial cheating.

*Perhaps he has been honest with them about this, but at 10, 8, and 5, I wouldn't bet on it.

It's a very good idea for a programme, and i suppose a celebrity makes it more watchable, but I do think there must have been somebody out there without the black mark against their family history.

JackTaylorFan

osarusan wrote: »

I'm not too sure it's as simple as that.

One of the things he does is a 'memory jar' where they can all share happy memories of their mother - but I wonder how that will work as they grow older and discover* (which, given his celebrity status, they will) his serial cheating.

*Perhaps he has been honest with them about this, but at 10, 8, and 5, I wouldn't bet on it.

Exactly.

GLaDOS

From the clips I've seen it does look at how it's impacted him personally, as well as leaving him a single father. I think it's fair to mention his infidelity.

Permabear

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osarusan

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I don't see what that has to do with my post at all.

ancapailldorcha

osarusan wrote: »

I don't see what that has to do with my post at all.

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

Bambi985

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Diana discovered on her honeymoon that Charles was cheating with Camilla Parker Bowles, so there was two of them in it. Ferdinand's wife was at home raising their three young kids while he was off getting his end away and having threesomes with strippers and Page Three girls.

It's funny what death does to our memory though. We still seem to have this "don't speak ill of the dead/bereaved" and people's former flaws no matter how big or small seem to just melt away.

osarusan

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

You should probably take it up with the people who hold the double standards then. It wasn't evident on this thread before it was shoehorned in.

RayCon

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

I'd argue infidelity within a family set up impacts all members of that family.

Bambi985

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

Who's treating Rio as a sleaze? The whole point of this thread was the lack of criticism I've been seeing for him since his wife passed, despite his infidelity and how that played out in public over many years.

And I'm sure if Ferdinand died we'd see the same glorification and reverence that any other public figure receives, what a legend footballer and wonderful father he was blah blah, with even less consideration for his cheating ways.

Bredabe

Op, I dont get it either, ppl do bad things and when the dust dies down are applauded for doing what is essentially their job/duty?
Not in a million years will that make any sense to me.

andekwarhola

It's between him and his kids how they deal with all this - and his parenting - in later life. I'm sure the mindless tattle of celebrity watchers won't figure too highly in their summation.

eviltwin

I don't think he deserves the title hero, he's doing what millions of lone parents do every day and he's got the money to make it easier. Didn't realise he'd been a serial cheat but I'm sure that only makes him feel worse tbh. His loss is no less tragic because of it.

JackTaylorFan

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

And what is she remembered for exactly? Her stint of tourism in humanitarian work and slightly diversifying a very narrow gene pool. Pfttt.. Icon? To whom? People who read Hello magazine?

andekwarhola

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't think he deserves the title hero,

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

eviltwin

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

I'd guessed that

JackTaylorFan

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess he has a huge PR team behind him who are assigning that title to his brand on his behalf so he doean't have to.

seamus

Him having cheated is not really for anyone else to judge ultimately. If himself and his wife reconciled over the matter, then it's basically irrelevant what anyone else thinks.

And his grief over the death of his wife is just as "valid" as anyone else's.

I'm sure life is great when you can view it in a black-and-white, "cheaters=subhuman animals" way, but that's not the reality.

Bambi985

seamus wrote: »

Him having cheated is not really for anyone else to judge ultimately. If himself and his wife reconciled over the matter, then it's basically irrelevant what anyone else thinks.

And his grief over the death of his wife is just as "valid" as anyone else's.

I'm sure life is great when you can view it in a black-and-white, "cheaters=subhuman animals" way, but that's not the reality.

I'm sure it is too, it certainly makes for some compelling tabloid headlines. Just not once someone has "redeemed" themselves in the eyes of the media, with death being at the top of the list for how one finds redemption.

All kinds of people cheat, I acknowledge that. There's shades of darkness and light to everyone, understood. But serial cheating by definition makes you a selfish person and a disloyal husband. Why do we have a selective memory about these things when someone dies or is intimately impacted by death?

He's a good father, he was a crap husband, at least for a period at the height of his fame. I'd say that's a fair statement.

Bambi985

OSI wrote: »

"Really sorry about your wife dying Rio, must be hard on the kids. Shame about you riding all those other women though eh?"

Yeah, sounds exactly like the kind of conversation that won't get you deservedly knocked the **** out.

And that's the only possible way you can think of such a question being framed? Any good journalist would find a way to address it in the documentary, and to weave it into one of the interviews with Ferdinand without sounding like some sort of socially inept moron.

I'd guess his PR team will have locked down any attempts at that sort of searing honesty how and ever.

arayess

Bambi985 wrote: »

He's a good father, he was a crap husband, at least for a period at the height of his fame. I'd say that's a fair statement.

I amn't sure that is fair, based on his status and wealth they lived in a bubble that offers a lifestyle that 99.99% will never know or comprehend.
There is a book called the secret footballer that explains this lifestyle in depth.

I'm not saying its right or wrong just very different and between the 2 of them.

they reconciled ,he clearly is upset at her death and loves his kids .
I think that's enough without nitpicking through past mistakes in a puerile attempt to undermine him...which is the aim of the thread.

JackTaylorFan

Bambi985 wrote: »

He's a good father, he was a crap husband, at least for a period at the height of his fame. I'd say that's a fair statement.

He's a good father in the fact he was lucky enough his talent for kicking an inflated bag of animal flesh was a lucruative enough source of income. The same income that probably kept his marriage together. Honestly, his story is more akin ro a Jeremy Kyle show than a hero story. It bstrikes me as some PR managed stunt.

Sorry, but there are much befter examples of lone fathers out there - who struggle not just with emotional grief but financially too and who don't cheat.

The whole "woe is me" celebrity craze is sickening too.

Galwayguy35

It's a bit baffling to see how he found any woman to cheat with, he doesn't seem to be a fella who was blessed with good looks compared to say someone like David Beckham.

Icemancometh

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

It's a bit baffling to see how he found any woman to cheat with, he doesn't seem to be a fella who was blessed with good looks compared to say someone like David Beckham.

You think a very successful professional athlete would have difficulty finding someone to sleep with?

Winterlong

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

It's a bit baffling to see how he found any woman to cheat with, he doesn't seem to be a fella who was blessed with good looks compared to say someone like David Beckham.

I am sure the money helps. Access to 'the celeb' lifestyle.
Yerman Dean Gaffney was riding all around him in his hey day. And he was a lot less wealthy than Rio.

Galwayguy35

Icemancometh wrote: »

You think a very successful professional athlete would have difficulty finding someone to sleep with?

Winterlong wrote: »

I am sure the money helps. Access to 'the celeb' lifestyle.
Yerman Dean Gaffney was riding all around him in his hey day. And he was a lot less wealthy than Rio.

Well yeah I guess that's true but shagging someone if you've no attraction to them at all other than the fact that their famous just seems a bit strange.

76544567

I have a mate who was/is a very famous professional athlete.
You couldnt go out for a pint without heaps of women trying to shag him.
He even shagged a few there and then in the toilets. Even ones who were out with boyfriends.
They give him whatever weird signal women do to guys like that then off they go to the jacks.
Then hes back telling us all about it, and the girl is back over with her boyfriend (sometimes husband, ive seen it) who has no idea what went on in the last 10 minutes in the toilets or even the car park.

And he was happily married at the time and still is.

I asked him one time what did his wife think of it.
Ill paraphrase what he told me.
"I love xxxx to bits. Shes my soul mate. But if any man had these amazing looking women throwing themselves at him he would do exactly the same. Ive just got used to it. I tried stopping, but I cant. Its been happening since i was in my teens. She knows it and we dont talk about it, but we are still very much in love."

He has settled down in the last few years but his still has his end away quite often.
And yes, they are still very much in love.

Anyway the point im trying to make is that its a whole weird world they live in. The likes of us normal folk, just cant understand it.
They just see that kind of stuff as normal, because it happens so easily.

Arghus

I haven't been keeping bang up to date with all of this - where's the proof?

Galwayguy35

76544567 wrote: »

I have a mate who was/is a very famous professional athlete.
You couldnt go out for a pint without heaps of women trying to shag him.
He even shagged a few there and then in the toilets. Even ones who were out with boyfriends.
They give him whatever weird signal women do to guys like that then off they go to the jacks.
Then hes back telling us all about it, and the girl is back over with her boyfriend (sometimes husband, ive seen it) who has no idea what went on in the last 10 minutes in the toilets or even the car park.

And he was happily married at the time and still is.

I asked him one time what did his wife think of it.
Ill paraphrase what he told me.
"I love xxxx to bits. Shes my soul mate. But if any man had these amazing looking women throwing themselves at him he would do exactly the same. Ive just got used to it. I tried stopping, but I cant. Its been happening since i was in my teens. She knows it and we dont talk about it, but we are still very much in love."

He has settled down in the last few years but his still has his end away quite often.
And yes, they are still very much in love.

Anyway the point im trying to make is that its a whole weird world they live in. The likes of us normal folk, just cant understand it.
They just see that kind of stuff as normal, because it happens so easily.

Well taking you at your word that this story is true he could stop if he really wanted to in fairness.

She might not be "very much in love" with him if he gives her a dose of the clap.

PhuckHugh

Bambi985 wrote: »

Seeing clips everywhere from his "Being Mum and Dad" documentary about life after the death of his wife that will be airing on BBC tonight.

While it looks like a very worthwhile programme that I'm sure will help lots of grieving young widowers everywhere, seeing so many people gush about how "inspiring" and "brave" he is on social media seems a bit much, given that he cheated on his wife with more than 10 women and absolutely humiliated her when she was alive.

Now not that he in any way deserved the horrible fate that awaited him, not for a second. And perhaps he's an absolutely fantastic father now and it is his biggest regret in life. But still. Something doesn't sit well with me about how he's now being glorified.

Thoughts?

I'm sure he is full of regret and a bit of him probably feels the duress he put her under when he humiliated her led to her getting cancer.. having to live with those demons and raise young kids in those circumstances can't be easy.

76544567

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Well taking you at your word that this story is true he could stop if he really wanted to in fairness.

She might not be "very much in love" with him if he gives her a dose of the clap.

But he doesnt really want to stop.
He feels guilty sometimes, but its normal life for them.
She knew it when she married him. Sure she was was of many who was with him at the same time before they got married and she knew it.
He fell in love with her, but in their weird world that means, i want to spend the rest of my life with you, but stray away often and always come back to you.
As I said, weird.

Ive been out with the couple and other famous married sportsmen have been there and cop off with someone when their wives arent present, and not an eyelid batted by the other wives present at all.

EagererBeaver

arayess wrote: »

I think that's enough without nitpicking through past mistakes in a puerile attempt to undermine him...which is the aim of the thread.

Yeah, heaven forbid anybody tried to have a discussion about sensitive issues, the real ambition was to "undermine" Rio.

professore

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Well yeah I guess that's true but shagging someone if you've no attraction to them at all other than the fact that their famous just seems a bit strange.

Attraction doesn't work the same for everyone. Some women in my experience - never seen it with men - are attracted to money and power, just as some men are attracted to a sexy body to ****. Professional footballer is the perfect storm. Also Rio is tall. Men and women are generally attracted to different things. That's why you will see women going on about some gorgeous woman or man and you'll be like wtf? Like that bloke that is a prick and talks sh1t about women 24/7 and cheats every chance he gets tends to be a hit with the ladies. Equally women who are good looking get away with lots of stuff that less attractive ones wouldn't.

Also the chance that a footballers wife marries him because she actually loves him are vanishingly small. It's like a business contract. She gets money and a lifestyle and I he gets children. That's the thing i admire about Ronaldo, he actually did the decent thing (assuming he's straight).

Look at Ryan Giggs shagging his brother's wife - no one can tell me with a straight face that that was "love"

One eyed Jack

Bambi985 wrote: »

Thoughts?

Celebrities are often held to different standards than people who aren't in the public eye. That's a double-edged sword which can just as easily fall one way or the other depending upon who you talk to.

I don't know a whole pile about the guy so I wouldn't hold him up as in any way representative of anyone, whether it be that they cheated on their partner, whether they're a widower, or whether they're a lone parent. There are a completely different set of standards applied, because above any of those things, they're a celebrity. Most people who cheat on their partners or are lone parents, aren't celebrities so are often spared the same scrutiny of the public eye too.

AnneFrank

lots of harsh comments here, women have affairs too you know.
I would imagine he regrets the pain he put his wife through every day of the week.
But he can't go back, and i for one, wouldn't wish the pain he must go through now on anyone

I wouldn't judge him as a person for cheating.

But maybe someone who had no such accusations made about him, and was struggling to make ends meet, would simply have made for a more interesting and honest documentary. Rather than "here's a famous person, let's skirt around the issue many of ye are thinking about when his name is mentioned"

arayess

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Yeah, heaven forbid anybody tried to have a discussion about sensitive issues, the real ambition was to "undermine" Rio.

he did a show on dealing with his wife's death and raising the kids alone.
dragging up his sexual past as a stick to undermine his legitimacy is a bit mean spirited.
It was brought up not to "have a discussion about sensitive issues" but to knock him off his pedestal .

Dravokivich

GLaDOS wrote: »

From the clips I've seen it does look at how it's impacted him personally, as well as leaving him a single father. I think it's fair to mention his infidelity.

Why? Why does infidelity matter at all?

EagererBeaver

arayess wrote: »

he did a show on dealing with his wife's death and raising the kids alone.
dragging up his sexual past as a stick to undermine his legitimacy is a bit mean spirited.
It was brought up not to "have a discussion about sensitive issues" but to knock him off his pedestal .

Thank you for clarifying your ability to read the mind of the original poster.