Rio Ferdinand:from love cheat to "hero"?

Bambi985

Seeing clips everywhere from his "Being Mum and Dad" documentary about life after the death of his wife that will be airing on BBC tonight.

While it looks like a very worthwhile programme that I'm sure will help lots of grieving young widowers everywhere, seeing so many people gush about how "inspiring" and "brave" he is on social media seems a bit much, given that he cheated on his wife with more than 10 women and absolutely humiliated her when she was alive.

Now not that he in any way deserved the horrible fate that awaited him, not for a second. And perhaps he's an absolutely fantastic father now and it is his biggest regret in life. But still. Something doesn't sit well with me about how he's now being glorified.

Thoughts?

whoopsadoodles

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Noddyholder

People love real life hero's, & there's nothing like a story of a bad boy becoming good that inspires people it can be done.

Your Face

If you're getting upset about what Rio Ferdinand does, you need help.

me_irl

See that ludicrous display last night?

Bambi985

Your Face wrote: »

If you're getting upset about what Rio Ferdinand does, you need help.

So does your face

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Bambi985

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Fair enough point.

I'd like to see someone put it to him though, that he wasn't exactly Husband of the Year while he was alive. That his wife must have suffered a lot for his mistreatment of her. Instead of the gushing parade of tilted heads and patronising pats on the backs that I'm sure he will receive throughout the doc, though I stand to be corrected.

padd b1975

I'd be more annoyed by the fact that he thinks wearing a baseball cap despite approaching 40 is acceptable.

Your Face

Bambi985 wrote: »

So does your face

Good one.

JackTaylorFan

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

Ah, yes it does. What happens when they find out? Do you honestly think one parent's betrayal of the other does not affect a child? Perhaps, it may be the case they never find out - but this guy is in the public eye.

JackTaylorFan

Bambi985 wrote: »

So does your face

OP, just for future reference: Ignore obvious troll

osarusan

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

I'm not too sure it's as simple as that.

One of the things he does is a 'memory jar' where they can all share happy memories of their mother - but I wonder how that will work as they grow older and discover* (which, given his celebrity status, they will) his serial cheating.

*Perhaps he has been honest with them about this, but at 10, 8, and 5, I wouldn't bet on it.

It's a very good idea for a programme, and i suppose a celebrity makes it more watchable, but I do think there must have been somebody out there without the black mark against their family history.

JackTaylorFan

osarusan wrote: »

I'm not too sure it's as simple as that.

One of the things he does is a 'memory jar' where they can all share happy memories of their mother - but I wonder how that will work as they grow older and discover* (which, given his celebrity status, they will) his serial cheating.

*Perhaps he has been honest with them about this, but at 10, 8, and 5, I wouldn't bet on it.

Exactly.

GLaDOS

From the clips I've seen it does look at how it's impacted him personally, as well as leaving him a single father. I think it's fair to mention his infidelity.

Permabear

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osarusan

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I don't see what that has to do with my post at all.

ancapailldorcha

osarusan wrote: »

I don't see what that has to do with my post at all.

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

Bambi985

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Diana discovered on her honeymoon that Charles was cheating with Camilla Parker Bowles, so there was two of them in it. Ferdinand's wife was at home raising their three young kids while he was off getting his end away and having threesomes with strippers and Page Three girls.

It's funny what death does to our memory though. We still seem to have this "don't speak ill of the dead/bereaved" and people's former flaws no matter how big or small seem to just melt away.

osarusan

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

You should probably take it up with the people who hold the double standards then. It wasn't evident on this thread before it was shoehorned in.

RayCon

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What he did on his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with how he is raising his children.

I'd argue infidelity within a family set up impacts all members of that family.

Bambi985

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Well, Rio is treated as a sleaze while Diana, as Permabear has noted is still remembered fondly. A bit of a double standard, no?

Who's treating Rio as a sleaze? The whole point of this thread was the lack of criticism I've been seeing for him since his wife passed, despite his infidelity and how that played out in public over many years.

And I'm sure if Ferdinand died we'd see the same glorification and reverence that any other public figure receives, what a legend footballer and wonderful father he was blah blah, with even less consideration for his cheating ways.

Bredabe

Op, I dont get it either, ppl do bad things and when the dust dies down are applauded for doing what is essentially their job/duty?
Not in a million years will that make any sense to me.

andekwarhola

It's between him and his kids how they deal with all this - and his parenting - in later life. I'm sure the mindless tattle of celebrity watchers won't figure too highly in their summation.

eviltwin

I don't think he deserves the title hero, he's doing what millions of lone parents do every day and he's got the money to make it easier. Didn't realise he'd been a serial cheat but I'm sure that only makes him feel worse tbh. His loss is no less tragic because of it.

JackTaylorFan

Permabear wrote: »

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And what is she remembered for exactly? Her stint of tourism in humanitarian work and slightly diversifying a very narrow gene pool. Pfttt.. Icon? To whom? People who read Hello magazine?

andekwarhola

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't think he deserves the title hero,

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

eviltwin

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

I'd guessed that

JackTaylorFan

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he probably didn't assign the title to himself.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess he has a huge PR team behind him who are assigning that title to his brand on his behalf so he doean't have to.

seamus

Him having cheated is not really for anyone else to judge ultimately. If himself and his wife reconciled over the matter, then it's basically irrelevant what anyone else thinks.

And his grief over the death of his wife is just as "valid" as anyone else's.

I'm sure life is great when you can view it in a black-and-white, "cheaters=subhuman animals" way, but that's not the reality.

Bambi985

seamus wrote: »

Him having cheated is not really for anyone else to judge ultimately. If himself and his wife reconciled over the matter, then it's basically irrelevant what anyone else thinks.

And his grief over the death of his wife is just as "valid" as anyone else's.

I'm sure life is great when you can view it in a black-and-white, "cheaters=subhuman animals" way, but that's not the reality.

I'm sure it is too, it certainly makes for some compelling tabloid headlines. Just not once someone has "redeemed" themselves in the eyes of the media, with death being at the top of the list for how one finds redemption.

All kinds of people cheat, I acknowledge that. There's shades of darkness and light to everyone, understood. But serial cheating by definition makes you a selfish person and a disloyal husband. Why do we have a selective memory about these things when someone dies or is intimately impacted by death?

He's a good father, he was a crap husband, at least for a period at the height of his fame. I'd say that's a fair statement.