I can't stand when strangers touch me

reason vs religion

Not sexually. Or if we were to strike up casual conversation. What infuriates me is when I'm standing on a dart and someone sidles up so close beside me that they elbow me several times as they're getting things from their pockets. Or when I'm sitting at a desk in the library and someone rounds my chair so close that they touch me as they pass, sometimes with their jacket or bag. Or when I'm walking on a footpath with someone approaching and either they brush past me or I have to avoid them. Several incidents that fall into those categories happened to me only today. And no apology from any. It strikes me as insanely rude. I go to great efforts to avoid touching other people or invading their space, yet all around me it seems the Irish don't reciprocate. And woebetide if ever I say anything. Anyone else have the same reaction?

dickwod1

Dont ever get the DART back from an Ireland match

Noveight

Eh, generally I find that most people are courteous and doing their best. If someone's obviously throwing their weight around I just think "ya big dickhead" and forget about it. It's not as if being offended will change them.

Life's too short to sweat over the small things anyways.

Bredabe

reason vs religion wrote: »

Not sexually. Or if we were to strike up casual conversation. What infuriates me is when I'm standing on a dart and someone sidles up so close beside me that they elbow me several times as they're getting things from their pockets. Or when I'm sitting at a desk in the library and someone rounds my chair so close that they touch me as they pass, sometimes with their jacket or bag. Or when I'm walking on a footpath with someone approaching and either they brush past me or I have to avoid them. Several incidents that fall into those categories happened to me only today. And no apology from any. It strikes me as insanely rude. I go to great efforts to avoid touching other people or invading their space, yet all around me it seems the Irish don't reciprocate. And woebetide if ever I say anything. Anyone else have the same reaction?

Yes, I hate beyond words when ppl brush against me on the street or violate the middle space on say a train seat, have taught myself to tolerate ppl casually touching me(have a colleague who touches ppl's upper arms or cups elbow's as a habit)
I also hate when seats/tables etc in food or alcohol outlets so close to me that I have to move the other seats or get a clatter of their personal belongings when they move. Until I read your post I was sure from feedback that I was the only one and "over sensitive"

jonon9

Bredabe

jonon9 wrote: »

Where can I get one of these? it would save me a lot of pain from the brusings I get from ppl knocking against me in the street/luas ect.

Bredabe

Bredabe wrote: »

touches ppl's upper arms or cups elbow's

This also drives me mad, don't know why but I hate it when people do this to me!

Dr Turk Turkelton

I hate the space invaders you get when standing in a queue.
I always seem to find something up high I need to step back to look at when I feel them behind me.
They sort of get the hint then when you walk on them.

Cupcake_Crisis

You'd hate me so. I always give people a rub on the arm when im saying goodbye. Habit I picked up in work. I find it harmless and it'd never bother me if someone did it to me. I find it quite friendly.

stimpson

Bredabe wrote: »

Where can I get one of these? it would save me a lot of pain from the brusings I get from ppl knocking against me in the street/luas ect.

You can get the deluxe model here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC-pvJ-2KQQ

"guarantees you absolutely zero personal contact with other people"

reason vs religion

To clarify, as I said before, I don't mind if friends chatting to me, or even strangers, touch me because of whatever urge they have for physical contact! The problem for me is when I'm navigating the world as an anonymous individual and people think it's okay to invade my space (as detailed before!) when they could avoid it. I don't mind post-match Darts, crowded pubs, etc; physical contact doesn't bother me. It's the rudeness that I see as being implicit in the action that bothers me.

Bredabe

stimpson wrote: »

You can get the deluxe model here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC-pvJ-2KQQ

"guarantees you absolutely zero personal contact with other people"

Nah! the rounded top makes me feeling claustrophobic.
Wouldn't need any of this if ppl would just pay attention to their surrounding and not hit off other ppl cause they preoccupied.
Some of the bruises I have from just walking down High st here, from ppl brushing against or walking into me.

noodler

I dunno how people avoid this on rush hour Darts.

stimpson

Bredabe wrote: »

Nah! the rounded top makes me feeling claustrophobic.

I'm sure the JD and coke would take the edge off.

Bredabe

stimpson wrote: »

I'm sure the JD and coke would take the edge off.

Would be worse, as im allergic and projectile vomiting and this kind of space would be BBBBBBBBBAAAAAADDDDDD!

satguy

There is no excuse for queue touching, do they really think its OK to breathe all over the back of my neck.

I make a point of moving back and nudging them off to a safe distance, a second infraction is dealt with harshly.

Bredabe

noodler wrote: »

I dunno how people avoid this on rush hour Darts.

For me, rock music on phone and a window seat.

...And Justice

Bredabe wrote: »

Would be worse, as im allergic and projectile vomiting and this kind of space would be BBBBBBBBBAAAAAADDDDDD!

A cheesy knob on the earlobes would sort that out.

listermint

I suggest moving to the countryside's if this is one of the main gripes in your day to day.

Bit neurotic really.

Bredabe

...And Justice wrote: »

A cheesy knob on the earlobes would sort that out.

OR ppl could show the same consideration I do and pay attention to where they and their possessions are in relation to other ppl.

Widdershins

I don't like touchy feely strangers. People need to keep their paws and their jabby elbows to themselves and stay out of my personal space. It's understandable if there's not much space, though.

noodler

Bredabe wrote: »

For me, rock music on phone and a window seat.

I guess I meant the 80% of people who don't get seats on a rush hour Dart

Your Face

Maybe walk if its not too far.

riffmongous

reason vs religion wrote: »

Not sexually. Or if we were to strike up casual conversation. What infuriates me is when I'm standing on a dart and someone sidles up so close beside me that they elbow me several times as they're getting things from their pockets. Or when I'm sitting at a desk in the library and someone rounds my chair so close that they touch me as they pass, sometimes with their jacket or bag. Or when I'm walking on a footpath with someone approaching and either they brush past me or I have to avoid them. Several incidents that fall into those categories happened to me only today. And no apology from any. It strikes me as insanely rude. I go to great efforts to avoid touching other people or invading their space, yet all around me it seems the Irish don't reciprocate. And woebetide if ever I say anything. Anyone else have the same reaction?

I've noticed an increase in this tbh, I'm close to going all Bitter Sweet Symphony some day

A few years ago I went about a year when the only human contact I had was people brushing against me on the bus. I appreciated it greatly.

It's called public, folks. Brace yourself for it.

Ferrari3600

BlinkingLights

I used to find that uncomfortable on the Tube but then quickly realised you can't fall over and you can even get 15 min sleep with no risk of falling over.

PARlance

Bredabe wrote: »

Yes, I hate beyond words when ppl brush against me on the street or violate the middle space on say a train seat, have taught myself to tolerate ppl casually touching me(have a colleague who touches ppl's upper arms or cups elbow's as a habit)
I also hate when seats/tables etc in food or alcohol outlets so close to me that I have to move the other seats or get a clatter of their personal belongings when they move. Until I read your post I was sure from feedback that I was the only one and "over sensitive"

Bear with me:
1. What does violating the middle space on a train seat entail?
2. What's a cupping of an elbow?

I could make a guess at 1 but I've been doing all sorts of things to my elbow to try to figure out 2.

Outlaw Pete

Don't go out to Dollymount after midnight so.

Zebra3

Bredabe wrote: »

Yes, I hate beyond words when ppl brush against me on the street or violate the middle space on say a train seat, have taught myself to tolerate ppl casually touching me(have a colleague who touches ppl's upper arms or cups elbow's as a habit)

Why have you taught yourself to tolerate that? If I had that kind of behaviour off someone in work that I wasn't into I'd have them up in front of HR. Tell them to go fck themselves.

RayM

If a man is standing too close to me in a queue or on a train, a lighthearted "I hope that's your phone in your pocket" usually does the trick.

Cupcake_Crisis

[Deleted User] wrote: »

A few years ago I went about a year when the only human contact I had was people brushing against me on the bus. I appreciated it greatly.

Do you need a hug?

JackTaylorFan

Most psychopaths have no sense of personal space - and the ones that have, don't care anyhow.

Optimalprimerib

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

You'd hate me so. I always give people a rub on the arm when im saying goodbye. Habit I picked up in work. I find it harmless and it'd never bother me if someone did it to me. I find it quite friendly.

It's actually a sign of dominance when people rub you on their arm. There was a study that if you do rub their arm while asking a favour, the success rate is higher.

JackTaylorFan

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

It's actually a sign of dominance when people rub you on their arm. There was a study that if you do rub their arm while asking a favour, the success rate is higher.

Also between friends, acts so seemingly innocent such as patting on the shoulder suggests the one doing the patting is dominant.

whoopsadoodles

Zebra3 wrote: »

Why have you taught yourself to tolerate that? If I had that kind of behaviour off someone in work that I wasn't into I'd have them up in front of HR. Tell them to go fck themselves.

Zebra3 wrote: »

Why have you taught yourself to tolerate that? If I had that kind of behaviour off someone in work that I wasn't into I'd have them up in front of HR. Tell them to go fck themselves.

For being a tactile sort of person?

HR would laugh at you for not having the fcuking balls to say "would you mind not doing that, thank you".

I literally said to someone two weeks ago who walked up behind my desk and put his hand on my shoulders "please don't touch me" and magically he stopped.

Up in front of HR. Ffs. Get a grip.

JackTaylorFan

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Ffs. Get a grip.

Oh, I don't think you want to be suggesting that on this thread. Very Naughty

whoopsadoodles

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Oh, I don't think you want to be suggesting that on this thread. Very Naughty

charlietheminxx

Ah it seems I have found my people! I've had to move seats on the bus before when there are plenty of seats and someone has come along and basically sat with their thigh on top of mine. Then there's the people who read the newspaper and can't seem to turn a page without sticking their elbows into your chest.

I'm actually a really affectionate person but I hate hate HATE strangers being in my personal space for no reason whatsoever. It creeps me out and irritates me no end.

carolmon

Elbows and a big handbag/ backpack come in handy.

I hate when somebody's breathing down my neck in a queue......I always feel the need to swing my bag from one shoulder to another a couple of times, if that fails to get them to move back I stand sideways with my hand on hip, at least that way all they can touch is a pointy elbow

I never understand why they shuffle so close to you in queues anyway, not like they're going to get served any quicker.

everlast75

stimpson wrote: »

You can get the deluxe model here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC-pvJ-2KQQ

"guarantees you absolutely zero personal contact with other people"

Loved Strutter

Glenster

Zebra3 wrote: »

Why have you taught yourself to tolerate that? If I had that kind of behaviour off someone in work that I wasn't into I'd have them up in front of HR. Tell them to go fck themselves.

There this bird who keeps touching my leg in work.

Its too awkward to say anything, I try to make myself look visibly uncomfortable but she hasn't got the message yet.

Bredabe

Zebra3 wrote: »

Why have you taught yourself to tolerate that? If I had that kind of behaviour off someone in work that I wasn't into I'd have them up in front of HR. Tell them to go fck themselves.

Its good practice for when im in places there are by nature crowded(rush hour dart/luas) or when im in the dentist.

The person I mentioned is my mentor and a man of a certain age, he would be mortified if he thought it was in anyway a problem, we have too good a relationship to damage it by reporting to HR, I will be retired by the time they get around to it.

LynnGrace

jonon9 wrote: »

I would gladly buy that!

cbyrd

People who stand too close behind me in a queue and brush off me, it makes me so mad. Irrational, but it makes me want to punch them. just why?

con___manx1

Only way to solve your problem is get a car and buy books or move out of dublin

Bredabe

Far fewer ppl bumping into and off me here in London, than Dublin!

Cupcake_Crisis

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

Do you need a hug?

Bit late now.

But yes. Yes I do.

Autonomous Cowherd

That's why I live in the countryside; if we meet other people we stay amiably on our own sides of the lane and don't do cheek kisses.

I'm a bit autistic about touching or being touched, except with loved ones, and then it is nice. Otherwise its an electric shock sensation and (inwardly, because I am polite) '''UUUUuugGGGhhhh, get the fcuk offa me, you whole other person, you!''

My nightmare job would be to work as a massage therapist.

dollyk

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

That's why I live in the countryside; if we meet other people we stay amiably on our own sides of the lane and don't do cheek kisses.

I'm a bit autistic about touching or being touched, except with loved ones, and then it is nice. Otherwise its an electric shock sensation and (inwardly, because I am polite) '''UUUUuugGGGhhhh, get the fcuk offa me, you whole other person, you!''

My nightmare job would be to work as a massage therapist.

This is sooo my daughter. Shes 13 and if someone touches off her lightly,
she said she feels like shes screaming inside, hard knocks dont seem to matter, but little light touches can really upset her. Oh and dont even think its ok to try tiddle her, meltdown time .