Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Happy Killing of Captain Cook Day !!

  • 14-02-2017 12:23pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 272 ✭✭


    Happy Killing of Captain Cook Day!

    On February 14, 1779 Captain James Cook of the British royal navy was killed by natives in Kealakekua Bay, on the Big Island of Hawaii. Cook was a true savage, who sailed across the world bringing murder, rape, disease, and colonialism to native peoples all over the Pacific. When he was killed, Cook was trying to kidnap the Hawaiian Aliʻi (tribal chief) Kalaniʻōpuʻu in response to an unknown person stealing a small boat. In the process, he had threatened to open fire on the islanders.

    At this point, the Hawaiians decided they had enough of Cook’s bull****, threatened with mass murder and the kidnapping of one of their tribal leaders, the Hawaiian islanders finally gave this piece of **** what he deserved: a beatdown on the beach, and a knife to the chest. This put an end to a lifetime of predatory behavior and conquest of lands in the service to the british empire.

    So how about instead of celebrating a boring consumerist holiday like Valentine’s Day, we celebrate something awesome, like the death of Captain Cook …

    Captain-Cook-death.jpg


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,641 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    The Hallmark cards might be interesting if nothing else.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,815 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    LoL at the username OP as the Yanks invaded and took the place over at the instigation of wealthy US born businessmen and missionaries...but as they weren't Brits it's ok...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    As an irishman I agree.

    Aa a privileged white I disagree.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 696 ✭✭✭Noddyholder


    Sounds good to me :-)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Butters1979


    War's over


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    The contemporary cartoonist seems to have really darkened the natives skin.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,921 ✭✭✭buried


    In B4 the agent oranges of boards blame it on Irish republicanz

    Make America Get Out of Here



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 249 ✭✭Galway_Old_Man


    So... I should take the missus out for a Hawaiian pizza then?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,734 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Your skull's inside out
    And your heart too


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,639 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    So the native peoples of the Pacific never had murder, rape, disease or colonialism before the arrival of Cook? Must have been a delightful little utopia.

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 315 ✭✭Teddington Cuddlesworth


    But where could one buy a killing captain cook card to give to their spouse to celebrate this day?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 272 ✭✭Stars and Stripes


    OldGoat wrote: »
    So the native peoples of the Pacific never had murder, rape, disease or colonialism before the arrival of Cook? Must have been a delightful little utopia.
    I'm sure it wasn't a utopia but I'll bet they had a lot less murder, rape and disease before that murdering pervert and his gang arrived. And a happy killing Capt Cook Day to you too :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,639 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    He was a pervert too? Jaysussss, what a bastard. Gonna give us the salacious details so we can all get our perve on?

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    I read a book about him. What a life and what a man. To all of you who think Ireland wouldn't have partook in colony building if we had the power and resources well, you're wrong! Plus without Cook and his ilk we'd not be able to get f*cked up in GAA jerseys for a year in Bondi in our 20s.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 715 ✭✭✭Cianmcliam


    I'm sure it wasn't a utopia but I'll bet they had a lot less murder, rape and disease before that murdering pervert and his gang arrived. And a happy killing Capt Cook Day to you too :D

    I know Valentine's day is traditionally a day for being overly romantic, but lets not get too carried away. Most of the Polynesian Islands were in a state of constant warfare before contact with the west. To quote Robert Wright:

    "Here are some descriptions, by various anthropologists, of various Polynesian islands: “a chronic state of war” (Samoa); “in a state of more or less incessant warfare” (Niue Island); “constant fighting and warfare” (Tongareva). In this regard Polynesian chiefdoms parallel other chiefdoms, such as those in the Cauca Valley of Colombia, where war was “universal, acute, and unending.”"

    As for Tahiti, Wright quotes Lawrence Keeley who described "the custom in which a victorious warrior would “pound his vanquished foe’s
    corpse flat with his heavy war club, cut a slit through the well-crushed victim, and don him as a trophy poncho.”




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,641 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    Cianmcliam wrote: »
    I know Valentine's day is traditionally a day for being overly romantic, but lets not get too carried away. Most of the Polynesian Islands were in a state of constant warfare before contact with the west. To quote Robert Wright:

    "Here are some descriptions, by various anthropologists, of various Polynesian islands: “a chronic state of war” (Samoa); “in a state of more or less incessant warfare” (Niue Island); “constant fighting and warfare” (Tongareva). In this regard Polynesian chiefdoms parallel other chiefdoms, such as those in the Cauca Valley of Colombia, where war was “universal, acute, and unending.”"

    As for Tahiti, Wright quotes Lawrence Keeley who described "the custom in which a victorious warrior would “pound his vanquished foe’s
    corpse flat with his heavy war club, cut a slit through the well-crushed victim, and don him as a trophy poncho.”





    those lads didnt mess about, did they.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,295 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    I'm sure it wasn't a utopia but I'll bet they had a lot less murder, rape and disease before that murdering pervert and his gang arrived. And a happy killing Capt Cook Day to you too :D

    You would be wrong, in New Zealand's case anyways. They were pretty good at cannabilism, too.


  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,504 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    "Say it with tribesman!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,815 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    I read a book about him. What a life and what a man. To all of you who think Ireland wouldn't have partook in colony building if we had the power and resources well, you're wrong! Plus without Cook and his ilk we'd not be able to get f*cked up in GAA jerseys for a year in Bondi in our 20s.

    If the British weren't in the game, it would be someone else...Germans/Dutch/French/whoever *insert name of coloniser here*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,348 ✭✭✭GhostyMcGhost


    osarusan wrote: »
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Your skull's inside out
    And your heart too


    Roses are red
    Captain cook likes rum
    Let's go to bed
    And try it up the .....

    Yeah I can see the hallmark cards now :)


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    Sure didn't Ireland colonise America and Canada? Do you think they had no affect on the natives way of life?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 272 ✭✭Stars and Stripes


    Roses are red
    Captain cook likes rum
    Let's go to bed
    And try it up the .....

    Yeah I can see the hallmark cards now :)
    Cook probably did like it up the bum, the British navy was full of sodomites such as Nelson with his " kiss me Hardy " etc :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Cianmcliam wrote: »
    I know Valentine's day is traditionally a day for being overly romantic, but lets not get too carried away. Most of the Polynesian Islands were in a state of constant warfare before contact with the west. To quote Robert Wright:

    "Here are some descriptions, by various anthropologists, of various Polynesian islands: “a chronic state of war” (Samoa); “in a state of more or less incessant warfare” (Niue Island); “constant fighting and warfare” (Tongareva). In this regard Polynesian chiefdoms parallel other chiefdoms, such as those in the Cauca Valley of Colombia, where war was “universal, acute, and unending.”"

    As for Tahiti, Wright quotes Lawrence Keeley who described "the custom in which a victorious warrior would “pound his vanquished foe’s
    corpse flat with his heavy war club, cut a slit through the well-crushed victim, and don him as a trophy poncho.”


    There's a bit of a difference between fairly evenly matched tribes fighting each other for whatever reason and a vastly superior culture showing up and just completely taking advantage of the locals, I don't think any tribal war would compare to the Brits showing up in a war ship and being able to wipe locals of the face of the earth. The Brits are doing this while promoting themselves as some sort of vastly superior and more evolved people. They were exactly the same just with better technology and utter contempt for everything not British.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    Cianmcliam wrote: »
    I know Valentine's day is traditionally a day for being overly romantic, but lets not get too carried away. Most of the Polynesian Islands were in a state of constant warfare before contact with the west. To quote Robert Wright:

    "Here are some descriptions, by various anthropologists, of various Polynesian islands: “a chronic state of war” (Samoa); “in a state of more or less incessant warfare” (Niue Island); “constant fighting and warfare” (Tongareva). In this regard Polynesian chiefdoms parallel other chiefdoms, such as those in the Cauca Valley of Colombia, where war was “universal, acute, and unending.”"

    As for Tahiti, Wright quotes Lawrence Keeley who described "the custom in which a victorious warrior would “pound his vanquished foe’s
    corpse flat with his heavy war club, cut a slit through the well-crushed victim, and don him as a trophy poncho.”


    i'm going to call shenanigans on that one, it really does not seem doable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,921 ✭✭✭buried


    farmchoice wrote: »
    i'm going to call shenanigans on that one, it really does not seem doable.

    You'd be surprised what tribal warriors can do. The Vikings had this thing called the "Blood Eagle" where they'd rip the lungs out of a enemy's back and twist them upwards to look like 'the wings of odin'.

    Make America Get Out of Here



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 re_shaft


    They stole his boat and bashed him in, savages.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,477 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    A shame the same fate never happened to the likes of Hernán Cortés and Francisco Pizarro.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 272 ✭✭Stars and Stripes


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    A shame the same fate never happened to the likes of Hernán Cortés and Francisco Pizarro.
    Yeah Cortés was a serious nasty piece of work all right.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 272 ✭✭Stars and Stripes


    ScumLord wrote: »
    There's a bit of a difference between fairly evenly matched tribes fighting each other for whatever reason and a vastly superior culture showing up and just completely taking advantage of the locals, I don't think any tribal war would compare to the Brits showing up in a war ship and being able to wipe locals of the face of the earth. The Brits are doing this while promoting themselves as some sort of vastly superior and more evolved people. They were exactly the same just with better technology and utter contempt for everything not British.
    "where war was “universal, acute, and unending.” Probably based on accounts by European colonists which was propaganda to dehumanize the natives so the abuses, exploitation and murder could be carried out on them.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    Cianmcliam wrote: »
    trophy poncho

    And so folks to the prizes...3rd place in this year's Pitch&Putt scratch cup... step up Séamus Murphy!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    buried wrote: »
    You'd be surprised what tribal warriors can do. The Vikings had this thing called the "Blood Eagle" where they'd rip the lungs out of a enemy's back and twist them upwards to look like 'the wings of odin'.

    not to go off on a tangent here but blood eagle may not have been real there is very little evidence of it and even if it was, its easy enough to see how it could be done.


    I'm just saying i don't think you can bash a human body flat with a club , make a slit in it and wear it as a Pancho


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,921 ✭✭✭buried


    farmchoice wrote: »
    not to go off on a tangent here but blood eagle may not have been real there is very little evidence of it and even if it was, its easy enough to see how it could be done.

    Plenty of written evidence in the annals the Vikings wrote themselves, so the idea definitely crossed their minds!

    Make America Get Out of Here



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    When you see them over in the house of commons, circle jerking about how crucial it is that Britain stands up for "British values" of decency and equality in the face of Trump's America, it's nice to have a little derisory snort.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,641 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    buried wrote: »
    Plenty of written evidence in the annals the Vikings wrote themselves, so the idea definitely crossed their minds!


    I'm not sure 2 or 3 references to the ritual in norse literature counts as plenty. Even those were written several hundred years after they were supposed to have happened.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,921 ✭✭✭buried


    I'm not sure 2 or 3 references to the ritual in norse literature counts as plenty. Even those were written several hundred years after they were supposed to have happened.

    Yeah, your right, no white man, even the Vikings who terrorised an entire continent could ever dream of doing such a thing. It must be bull$hit

    Make America Get Out of Here



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    buried wrote: »
    Yeah, your right, no white man, even the Vikings who terrorised an entire continent could ever dream of doing such a thing. It must be bull$hit

    calm down, you claimed there is loads of written evidence of this practice it was pointed out to you there is in fact very little.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,567 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    Agricola wrote: »
    When you see them over in the house of commons, circle jerking about how crucial it is that Britain stands up for "British values" of decency and equality in the face of Trump's America, it's nice to have a little derisory snort.

    could you name any country that is today, more culturally integrated, diverse and tolerant than the UK?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,641 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    buried wrote: »
    Yeah, your right, no white man, even the Vikings who terrorised an entire continent could ever dream of doing such a thing. It must be bull$hit

    yes, because that is EXACTLY what i said :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,641 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    could you name any country that is today, more culturally integrated, diverse and tolerant than the UK?

    Canada? Sweden?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,481 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    I thought pirates were friendly lads, singing and drinking rum all the time ??=Damn Hollywood and there idea of pirates


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    As far as I'm aware the Norse didn't have a written language in the beginning. So there wouldn't be any literature from the time.

    I wouldn't be surprised if it happened. Ancient peoples were weird. Before Christianity I think it was normal for people to dig up their dead relatives and remove the head for display in the home.

    Even modern day cannibal tribes don't consider themselves to be cannibals. As far as their concerned the person has been taken over by an evil spirit and the only way to release them is to eat their body.

    Human sacrifice was common and I think there's even evidence of people in high status positions being sacrificed, either they did something wrong or it may have been an honor to be sacrificed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Captain Cook? More a Joe Root man nowadays.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,878 ✭✭✭irelandrover


    could you name any country that is today, more culturally integrated, diverse and tolerant than the UK?

    The Netherlands?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,116 ✭✭✭archer22


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    A shame the same fate never happened to the likes of Hernán Cortés and Francisco Pizarro.

    It did happen though to Magellan in the Philippine islands...very similar to what happened to Cook.
    Pacific seemed to be the most risky place for those engaging in the auld raping and plundering.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    Cianmcliam wrote: »
    As for Tahiti, Wright quotes Lawrence Keeley who described "the custom in which a victorious warrior would “pound his vanquished foe’s corpse flat with his heavy war club, cut a slit through the well-crushed victim, and don him as a trophy poncho.”

    There must have been a scramble for ringside seats at the catwalk.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,116 ✭✭✭archer22


    "where war was “universal, acute, and unending.” Probably based on accounts by European colonists which was propaganda to dehumanize the natives so the abuses, exploitation and murder could be carried out on them.
    Yeah had an Australian once' explaining' to me how the Aborigine tribes were always fighting each other and the whites were just another tribe in the fight :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,921 ✭✭✭buried


    farmchoice wrote: »
    calm down, you claimed there is loads of written evidence of this practice it was pointed out to you there is in fact very little.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

    Very little on 'wikipedia' alright. That must be that then. I guess I better throw all my books about the subject in the bin. Now its been 'pointed out to me' at long last

    Make America Get Out of Here



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    archer22 wrote: »
    Yeah had an Australian once' explaining' to me how the Aborigine tribes were always fighting each other and the whites were just another tribe in the fight :confused:

    When I was there it was explained to me by a big Aussie that the natives had the continent for centuries and did nothing with it. An extremely primitive race of people.

    Nothing can stand in the way of progress, not even human beings it seems.

    Just wish the new arrivals had gone about their business in a more dignified manner.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    buried wrote: »
    Very little on 'wikipedia' alright. That must be that then. I guess I better throw all my books about the subject in the bin. Now its been 'pointed out to me' at long last
    go on then give us a few of your sources that outline more then the 2-3 known references to this in the sagas and which are outlined in that wiki article.

    now i have a feeling that the books you are talking about are works of fiction about vikings as opposed to scholarly dissertations or published works on the subject, but sure name them anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    archer22 wrote: »
    Yeah had an Australian once' explaining' to me how the Aborigine tribes were always fighting each other and the whites were just another tribe in the fight :confused:
    The impression I got was that Aborigines spent most their time on the move, so very little in the way of settlements and religious sites. It was a bit of a necessity that they be moving because they'd be meeting up with other people for marriages and such.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement