The fabled work fap

Mr Whom

Does anyone pass the time in work with the odd fap?

well spoken man

Mr Whom wrote: »

Does anyone pass the time in work with the odd fap?

Hell yes...

DanielODonnell

I masturbated in the gym changing rooms once, I realised i forgot tissues so I had to clean up the mess on the floor with my sock and then put the sock back on for the workout.

Stigura

Cracked one off at the odd work place, over the years.

Shagged my wife in the works loo's one time too. That adds a certain frisson.

Agricola

"My wife" aka Derek from Accounts.

Alf Stewart.

DanielODonnell wrote: »

I masturbated in the gym changing rooms once, I realised i forgot tissues so I had to clean up the mess on the floor with my sock and then put the sock back on for the workout.

Squelcher.

GerryDerpy

A more interesting question would be if any ladies flicked the bean in work?

ceadaoin.

DanielODonnell wrote: »

I masturbated in the gym changing rooms once, I realised i forgot tissues so I had to clean up the mess on the floor with my sock and then put the sock back on for the workout.

The most surprising part about this post is the fact that a person who finds it acceptable to ejaculate onto the floor of a public space even bothered to clean it up

Elemonator

*fetches popcorn*

DrumSteve

This is a ****ed up thread.

sydthebeat

http://metro.co.uk/2017/01/10/should-we-be-taking-masturbation-breaks-at-work-6371816/

We should all be cracking a few off !!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

sydthebeat wrote: »

http://metro.co.uk/2017/01/10/should-we-be-taking-masturbation-breaks-at-work-6371816/

We should all be cracking a few off !!

Think the question isn't so much "do you?", more a case of "how often".

SnakePlissken

All the time...though I do get some funny looks from the passengers on my bus

Hector Bellend

I wanked in the bog at a christmas party one year.

I also fingered a colleague in the work jacks.

Hector Bellend

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Think the question isn't so much "do you?", more a case of "how often".

Indeed. When nature calls you have to answer

Thespoofer

Personally no.

But there was a foreign lad a number of years back went missing for a few minutes only for one of the other lads to shout at the rest of the group to quickly come over and look down through the rooflight ( we're roofers ) and here's your man below fapping off to a magazine !

Needless to say he didn't last much longer there after that.

posturingpat

Worked in a pub when I was younger and Sunday morning was my morning to go in clean the place and open up for the early house.
Manys a **** was had in the jacks when they weren't covered in **** and puke, always woke me up for the day ahead. Highly recommended.

ibFoxer

Agricola wrote: »

"My wife" aka Derek from Accounts.

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I also fingered a colleague in the work jacks.

Derek from Accounts gets about a bit 😃

Hector Bellend

DrumSteve wrote: »

This is a ****ed up thread.

literally

The Raptor

I don't understand, how does someone get the urge in work?

badabing106

The Raptor wrote: »

I don't understand, how does someone get the urge in work?

Do you not have a Hottie in your work place?

The Raptor

badabing106 wrote: »

Do you not have a Hottie in your work place?

Ah jayus,

Is this what men do?

222233

I will be spending the coming week tracking which men/ women? dip out for the longest times... Ignorance was bliss

Ferrari3600

The Raptor wrote: »

Ah jayus,

Is this what men do?

Do you think we can help it?

Mr Whom

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

Tbh, back in the day I'd be getting the horn off a chick on the 46A.

Yes indeed. I remember all the regular birds on the college bus years ago - they all got a methodical fap. Don't think I missed one.

The Raptor

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

Do you think we can help it?

It's a bit pervy.

Ferrari3600

Mr Whom wrote: »

Yes indeed. I remember all the regular birds on the college bus years ago - they all got a methodical fap. Don't think I missed one.

Doubt it.

ceadaoin.

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

Do you think we can help it?

Yes, I do think you should be able to control yourselves tbh. It's a bit weird

MyStubbleItches

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Yes, I do think you should be able to control yourselves tbh. It's a bit weird

Have to agree here and I'm a man. Thinking about an individual person that you encounter in real life is a bit 'strange'. The generic 'hottie' should suffice.

RWCNT

MyStubbleItches wrote: »

Have to agree here and I'm a man. Thinking about an individual person that you encounter in real life is a bit 'strange'. The generic 'hottie' should suffice.

"The Generic Hottie" - please explain, because it sounds like you've basically created an imaginary person in your head to jerk off to, which is arguably stranger than thinking about someone you actually know.

DanielODonnell

ceadaoin. wrote: »

The most surprising part about this post is the fact that a person who finds it acceptable to ejaculate onto the floor of a public space even bothered to clean it up

Sure our old Irish ancestors would have masturbated in the forest, I wasn't aware you could only masturbate in your house, we never learned that in sex ed class.

Stravos Murphy

DanielODonnell wrote: »

Sure our old Irish ancestors would have masturbated in the forest, I wasn't aware you could only masturbate in your house, we never learned that in sex ed class.

And up against stone ditches and used the 5 high sod bank of turf as a sex toy.

Steve

My anti-fap app which accesses all webcams on the company domain is paying off well... keep it up lads

MyStubbleItches

RWCNT wrote: »

"The Generic Hottie" - please explain, because it sounds like you've basically created an imaginary person in your head to jerk off to, which is arguably stranger than thinking about someone you actually know.

I'd heard that there's always someone on this interweb thing that assumes the 'being awkward just for the sake of it' role.

What do you like physically in whichever gender you're attracted to? That's the generic hottie.

sjb25

Mr Whom wrote: »

Does anyone pass the time in work with the odd fap?

Donald??? Not in the Oval Office please :eek:

I ONLY **** in work...... That way, I get paid for it.

endacl

sjb25 wrote: »

Donald??? Not in the Oval Office please :eek:

Even those tiny hands would be too massive for the Donald's micropenis.

C'mon. You've seen the buildings. The man's compensating.

JupiterKid

Yep, when I was younger and hornier, but only in the work jacks. Never at my desk!

tomwaterford

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I ONLY **** in work...... That way, I get paid for it.

I hope your not long term unemployed :eek:

Mr.Crinklewood

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Yes, I do think you should be able to control yourselves tbh. It's a bit weird

You obviously have never worked with Derek from accounts.

RWCNT

MyStubbleItches wrote: »

I'd heard that there's always someone on this interweb thing that assumes the 'being awkward just for the sake of it' role.

What do you like physically in whichever gender you're attracted to? That's the generic hottie.

I'm not trying to be awkward, I promise haha. I genuinely don't get what you're talking about.

So, let's say Im into breasts most. You're suggesting I just imagine a big disembodied pair of breasts or what? Or was I right about just dreaming up an imaginary person with a nice rack? It's still sounding weird. A different kind of weird to systematically fantasising about every woman on the bus, but weird none the less.

Thespoofer

Thespoofer wrote: »

Personally no.

But there was a foreign lad a number of years back went missing for a few minutes only for one of the other lads to shout at the rest of the group to quickly come over and look down through the rooflight ( we're roofers ) and here's your man below fapping off to a magazine !

Needless to say he didn't last much longer there after that.

Must've been quite the magazine!

MilesMorales1

DanielODonnell wrote: »

I masturbated in the gym changing rooms once, I realised i forgot tissues so I had to clean up the mess on the floor with my sock and then put the sock back on for the workout.

That didn't happen so thats alright.

Who needs to fap so bad they can't wait till they get home? It's a workplace, not a fap place, the idea is disgusting.

lawred2

The Raptor wrote: »

It's a bit pervy.

bless

lawred2

the worst thing about this thread is the word 'fap'

Stigura

Stigura wrote: »

Shagged my wife in the works loo's one time too.

Unless you are _the boss_ then doing it on the bosses desk is a must. Has not been a company I worked for yet where I have not done it on the bosses desk. Which sounds impressive but so far I have only ever worked in 4 different companies.

Arne_Saknussem

Since when have we imported the word 'fap'??

Tornaxx

Deleted User wrote: »

I ONLY **** in work...... That way, I get paid for it.

So does that make you a sex-worker?

Just a professional.

Butters1979

The Raptor wrote: »

Ah jayus,

Is this what men do?

Newsflash: Men masturbate !!!

donegal.

The Raptor wrote: »

Ah jayus,

Is this what men do?

no