Question for girls

Hammer89

Genuinely asking this in regards to a friend.

So, I've got a 26-year-old female friend who will shortly be living completely on her own, for the first time in her life. She had a family home, then moved in with a friend, but now that friend is moving out and I noticed she was very anxious about it - like, very.

Or at least, I thought she was overly anxious about it, but I'm not a girl you see so it's hard for me to gauge what's happening. Is this a pretty normal response to living on your own for the first time, or is it abnormal?

Pac1Man

Ooh I know this one but I'm not allowed answer!

The_Valeyard

Pac1Man wrote: »

Ooh I know this one but I'm not allowed answer!

Did you just assume your gender.

IvyTheTerrible

What does being have to do with it?
We're not a hivemind, you know.

gifted

She'll be riding like a pro within a month...lol lol


Volume on porn can be left on as well...win win

Outlaw Pete

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... and ya know, it was my kitchen, it was my refrigerator, it was my apartment... and it was the BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life.

livedadream

Could she be worried about money?

Anxious about paying bills etc alone..

Lux23

If I was single I would definitely live alone.

Hammer89

livedadream wrote: »

Could she be worried about money?

Anxious about paying bills etc alone..

No it's more about the loneliness I think.

hatrickpatrick

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

What does being have to do with it?

Far too deep and philosophical for AH...

livedadream

Hammer89 wrote: »

livedadream wrote: »

Could she be worried about money?

Anxious about paying bills etc alone..

No it's more about the loneliness I think.

do you think she wants to live alone...

Mr. FoggPatches

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Far too deep and philosophical for AH...

As long as you understand it and can post a reply displaying your ability to understand it, placing yourself, intellectually, above the rest of the users, then I'm sure us lesser mortals will be glad that the post appeared in AH.

Hammer89

livedadream wrote: »

do you think she wants to live alone...

She doesn't.

mckildare

What's the address?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

livedadream

Then talk to her, have a chat and help out with the roommate search...

Hammer89

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I realise this but there is likely going to be a minimum of a week where she's alone.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

but I'm not a girl you see so it's hard for me to gauge what's happening.

Are you not a person? Is she not a person? Can you not talk to her since she's your friend?

Hammer89

Plus, do you not think an instant room-mate is papering over the cracks of a problem she has with being alone? That's the thing - I don't know, because I've never been a girl who has had to live alone so I've got no frame of reference.

Mister Vain

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... and ya know, it was my kitchen, it was my refrigerator, it was my apartment... and it was the BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life.

Only yanks put jelly in their sandwiches.

djemba djemba

Give it a few years when she is married, kids, pets...and she will be only delighted to be living alone

eviltwin

She's gonna have to just get over it. She will have to learn to manage on her own sometime. And stop mollycoddling her, she's an adult, she will be grand

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

phenom

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... and ya know, it was my kitchen, it was my refrigerator, it was my apartment... and it was the BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life.

"As they say in the states"

Summer wind

Maybe she could try it for a couple of weeks. If she can't go it alone she could advertise for a new flat mate.

Hammer89

eviltwin wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I'm not mollycoddling her.

Permabear wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

That's probably why I asked if it's normal or not.

hatrickpatrick

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

As long as you understand it and can post a reply displaying your ability to understand it, placing yourself, intellectually, above the rest of the users, then I'm sure us lesser mortals will be glad that the post appeared in AH.

Just because I understood it, doesn't mean I wanted to. I don't come to AH to think, dammit :pac:

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

magentis

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... and ya know, it was my kitchen, it was my refrigerator, it was my apartment... and it was the BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to make myself a cup of coffee and some toast.....and ya know,it was our kitchen,it was our refrigerator,it was our house.......when I got back to bed,my wife gave me a blowjob,and it was the best blowjob I have had in my entire life.

whoopsadoodles

All girls are afraid of living on their own.

Who's going to put out the bins and kill the spiders and see if the boogey man is in the hall?

Sh*t. I might go sleep in my Mam's tonight

silvervixen84

I'd love to live on my own.

But I live in London, where rent is mahoosive, so I have to share with other people.

I seem to have the flat to myself this evening, and it's so blissful!

jameorahiely

Hammer89 wrote: »

Genuinely asking this in regards to a friend.

So, I've got a 26-year-old female friend who will shortly be living completely on her own, for the first time in her life. She had a family home, then moved in with a friend, but now that friend is moving out and I noticed she was very anxious about it - like, very.

Or at least, I thought she was overly anxious about it, but I'm not a girl you see so it's hard for me to gauge what's happening. Is this a pretty normal response to living on your own for the first time, or is it abnormal?

Neither is your friend a girl, at 26, she is an adult woman

hatrickpatrick

On a more serious note, the responses in this thread are fairly heartless. People need to realise that Generation Z is a generation which has grown up constantly surrounded by a social circle, people to talk to, people to be present with. Of course it could be a gigantic shock to the system for somebody who has gone through their entire life into adulthood never living without any companionship to suddenly find themselves in that entirely alien situation. I'd be the polar opposite of OP's friend, an extrovert but one who actually needs some "recharging time" every so often alone with my thoughts or I'd lose my mind, but I know many people, particularly people a few years younger than me in their late teens or early twenties, who due to living at home for longer, sharing with friends, living in dormitories etc, have never lived entirely alone in a dwelling of any kind.

You may think it ridiculous, but I'd argue that that's because it's normal for you and you don't have that experience of only living alone for the first time when you're already an adult. I for one can totally understand why it would be freaky. 26 years old is quite an age to experience something so fundamental for the first time ever.

And all this is before we even get into wondering whether the person mentioned in the OP might have an anxiety or panic disorder, which I can only imagine would make it a thousand times worse.

maudgonner

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm not a girl you see so it's hard for me to gauge what's happening.

I had a ring around all the girls there for you Hammer and the consensus is that:

a) We're not a different species from you fellas.
b) We're not all the same. In the words of Monty Python: 'We're all individuals. (I'm not)'

Hope that helps.

Hammer89

maudgonner wrote: »

I had a ring around all the girls there for you Hammer and the consensus is that:

a) We're not a different species from you fellas.
b) We're not all the same. In the words of Monty Python: 'We're all individuals. (I'm not)'

Hope that helps.

It doesn't.

Earthhorse

I think this is way more normal than people are making out. Plenty of my female friends get anxious when their boyfriends or husbands are away and they're in the house on their own. Doesn't mean they're "not capable" of living on their own or whatever other spin people are putting on it.

Dial Hard

Hammer89 wrote:

I realise this but there is likely going to be a minimum of a week where she's alone.

Oh noes! A week?

Grandeeod

FFS! 26 and worried about living alone. Fooking snowflaker! By the age of 27 my now wife had bought a house and was living alone rearing a child. (Not quite alone, but alone enough.) As for me, lived alone in a bedsit at the age of 19.

Dial Hard

Earthhorse wrote:

I think this is way more normal than people are making out. Plenty of my female friends get anxious when their boyfriends or husbands are away and they're in the house on their own.

It's really not. I'd live alone in a heartbeat if I could afford it. Two of my closest female friends live alone extremely happily. My ex-husband was overseas for six months at a stretch several times during our relationship, including shortly after we got married, at which time I was the same age as the OP's friend. Yes, I missed him hugely but I was never anxious when he was away.

Earthhorse

Dial Hard wrote: »

It's really not. I'd live alone in a heartbeat if I could afford it. Two of my closest female friends live alone extremely happily. My ex-husband was overseas for six months at a stretch several times during our relationship, including shortly after we got married, at which time I was the same age as the OP's friend. Yes, I missed him hugely but I was never anxious when he was away.

So because some of your friends didn't get anxious it's not more common than the way posters are making it out to be on this thread, which is basically non existent?

Hammer89

Grandeeod wrote: »

FFS! 26 and worried about living alone. Fooking snowflaker! By the age of 27 my now wife had bought a house and was living alone rearing a child. (Not quite alone, but alone enough.) As for me, lived alone in a bedsit at the age of 19.

And they wonder why I intentionally asked for a female view.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Is she good looking?

Grandeeod

Hammer89 wrote: »

And they wonder why I intentionally asked for a female view.

I gave you one. The missus was over my shoulder.

Hammer89

Grandeeod wrote: »

I gave you one. The missus was over my shoulder.

On the same high horse?

pilly

The lack of compassion here is awful. Of course it's scary for someone living on their own for the first time. My daughter was very nervous at 23 and it took a couple of months but after that she was fine.

All you can do is offer your support and company OP but she will be grand.

A pet can help with loneliness if she's into them?

Grandeeod

Hammer89 wrote: »

On the same high horse?

Same smartarse as ever! But my wifes opinion doesn't concur with your predetermined view. Whats the point so. You've come on here asking for an opinion and when you get one that you don't like your off on the smart ****.

Dial Hard

Earthhorse wrote:

So because some of your friends didn't get anxious it's not more common than the way posters are making it out to be on this thread, which is basically non existent?

So because you think it's common your viewpoint is more valid than mine?

And seeing as most female posters on the thread seem to have the same viewpoint, perhaps it *isn't* actually all that common?

Hammer89 wrote:

And they wonder why I intentionally asked for a female view.

I'm female. My view is that your friend is being rather silly. But you only seem to want assenting viewpoints to hers, so I don't think it really matters what anyone says here.

Gunslinger92

OP I'm female, 24, and similar to your friend in that I've never lived alone, but at the moment I only share with one other girl and due to her job I have the place to myself a lot. I love it to be honest, and not once have I felt anxious about being in the place myself. That's definitely a little odd. But I really don't think she has anything to worry about it, it'll be grand

Earthhorse

Dial Hard wrote: »

So because you think it's common your viewpoint is more valid than mine?

Nope. Because some of my friends have told me they've experienced something similar the phenomenon is more common than is being made out on the thread, which is making it out to be non existent.

And seeing as most female posters on the thread seem to have the same viewpoint, perhaps it *isn't* actually all that common?

Didn't say it was common. Said it was more common than was being made out.

Dial Hard

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'm female. My view is that your friend is being rather silly. But you only seem to want assenting viewpoints to hers, so I don't think it really matters what anyone says here.

We don't know that she's being silly or even what her viewpoint is because the OP is all about "I think she's anxious but I don't know because I didn't bother asking so I'm assuming this is it"

pilly

This all turned very abusive very quickly?