Having relationship problems

LegacyUser

I know you don't want to end this so called relationship but the reality is you have been with her for 5 years and have had no sex life for the past 2 years.

Your so called girlfriend is moaning at you all the time about your so called shortcomings.
When you were out of work or in the the job you hated and left she offered you no help/support like a proper girlfriend should have.
She is critizing you always over the smallest thing she can find or what you are doing wrong in her eyes. You have told us you can't drive at the moment and she is giving out about this.
Your not keen to take up driving as you don't want the expense of a car.

My feeling is that she wants to be part of a couple but is it always on her terms. All realtionships require give and take. I can't understand how you would stay with someone who is just making your life a misery and taking away all your self confidence with it.

You to end things with her. She is not happy as her behaviour and what she is saying to you tells me this. Meanwhile your trying to please someone who will never be happy. The reality is if you in a realationship you support each other.

You can say to someone in a nice way about things - ie I would like if you could drive so we could going on a fly/drive holiday and both drive rather then your embarrassing me because you can't drive.

The reality is that your both in your late 20's and after 5 years of bring together most people of your age would be thinking - where are we going ie re buying a house, getting married/having children ect. My advice is to end things with her now and let her move on to find the so called perfect man. You have a decent job and you only in your late 20's. Despite what she is saying about you I am sure you have a lot to offer a decent, kind woman who cares about you as a person rather than someone who just sees you someone who is their to take her abuse.

silverharp

snoozy44 wrote: »

@silverharp
Thats pretty much how I feel she has this version in her head of the person she wants me to be, but I'm not that person and that's not really the person I want to be either. I am quite quiet laid back to be honest about stuff like that but I do see the value in driving as far as my career is concerned, at the moment its not a requirement but down the line I certainly will and that's where the current problem pretty much is I have no urgency to do it but she demands I do it now. Its not so much about the driving anyway even if I started now I'm sure there will be another similar problem. As for our/my supposed plans for the future I don't really have a clear picture of what I wanted but I was at least saving plenty with the idea of buying a house, I don't think she really likes that I don't really have a clear plan of the future.

At the end of the day you aren't a dancing monkey and a partner shouldn't be trying to remodel their partner. You are who you are and you seem like a straight up guy. From your point of view things will become a little clearer over the next 4 or 5 years and one day it will just hit you either by seeing your friends getting married/starting a family etc. what the next step is.
As far as your girlfriend is concerned she might have notions based on where she works perhaps?, she might be working alongside a bunch of "guitar playing hedge fund managers" :pac: and thinks you don't meet muster. Either way she is bringing you down and its not your job to become someone else to meet their inflated or unrealistic expectations.