Bullshít jobs

So many to choose from. The people who direct traffic in UCD have always been at the top for me - most of us are capable of seeing if there's a parking space without the existence of such people to "guide" us. The lads waving traffic at roadworks in 2016 when automated signs could do it are in the same category.

Tonight in Dundrum I think people engaged in "branding" have to beat that. Roly's is now Ro ly. New image, right there in that space. Such creativity. Branding/advertising/marketing - the epitome of bullshít jobs.

The entire spin doctor/Terry Prone/Svengali/public relations "managing image" types. An entire industry of pointless self-satisfied, back-stabbing sleezebags who think they are really smart because their "friends in the media" obliged by publicising their latest bit of spin/truth distortion/lie/"news". Oooh the "influence". Irish society would have substantially less bullshít if we had a special Section 31 just for starving them of the oxygen of publicity.

Journalists, every single one of them in Ireland. There are perhaps 120 public interest investigative journalists in the world, all of whom are worthy of respect. In Ireland, such journalism doesn't exist outside about 3 RTÉ Investigates programmes per year so all we have as "journalists" in our "free press" are pushers of the spin of various vested interests (usually of the government, as they can give supply endless free stories to "accommodating" journalists). Bullshít, lazy-arsed pseudo profession which at the end of the day gives society nothing.

What's your least favourite bullshít job?

D Trent

[Deleted User] wrote: »

So many to choose from. The people who direct traffic in UCD have always been at the top for me - most of us are capable of seeing if there's a parking space without the existence of such people to "guide" us. The lads waving traffic at roadworks in 2016 when automated signs could do it are in the same category.

Tonight in Dundrum I think people engaged in "branding" have to beat that. Roly's is now Ro ly. New image, right there in that space. Such creativity. Branding/advertising/marketing - the epitome of bullshít jobs.

The entire spin doctor/Terry Prone/Svengali/public relations "managing image" types. An entire industry of pointless self-satisfied, back-stabbing sleezebags who think they are really smart because their "friends in the media" obliged by publicising their latest bit of spin/truth distortion/lie/"news". Oooh the "influence". Irish society would have substantially less bullshít if we had a special Section 31 just for starving them of the oxygen of publicity.

Journalists, every single one of them in Ireland. There are perhaps 120 public interest investigative journalists in the world, all of whom are worthy of respect. In Ireland, such journalism doesn't exist so all we have as "journalists" in our "free press" are pushers of the spin of various vested interests (usually of the government, as they can give supply endless free stories to "accommodating" journalists). Bullshít, lazy-arsed pseudo profession which at the end of the day gives society nothing.

What's your least favourite bullshít job?

Before any of what you say can be considered, you must give us your job title.

punisher5112

Auto lights are so last year.

They actually cause more delays why you think they have people on point during the day.

Parking attendant is another thing that actually moves things along and eases congestion.


Should really be thinking what a tuff job and a thankless one at that.

D Trent

D Trent wrote: »

Before any of what you say can be considered, you must give us your job title.

Nah, I mustn't.

D Trent

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Nah, I mustn't.

I bet you're a male Lollypop lady.

badabing106

Health and safety officer

Avatar MIA

Deleted User wrote: »

Nah, I mustn't.

Says the student.

20Cent

Testing ejector seats in a helicopter factory. Won't fall for that one again.

Avatar MIA

Collecting the mess left behind by the cattle every evening so it can be used for fertiliser

Graigmanliam

I have to say being a binman doesn't seem like a good time at all, god bless them for doing it.

Pinch Flat

You work in morketing Op?

Dempsey

20Cent wrote: »

Testing ejector seats in a helicopter factory. Won't fall for that one again.

You can get ejector seats in some helicopters

Killergreene

Hospital Porter. Pushing people around on trolleys all day. Must get fair boring and depressing

That and stacking shelves in spar

punisher5112

Killergreene wrote: »

Hospital Porter. Pushing people around on trolleys all day. Must get fair boring and depressing

That and stacking shelves in spar

Under the tree at spa

spoonerhead

Working on a 0 hour contract in Tesco

Male bovine excrement collector.

bodice ripper

The wet loop at Hewlett Packard. Let's hire 5 college graduates to hit a single reset buttton. I'm afraid we'll have to move to Singapore to get these costs down...

Stonedpilot

Graigmanliam wrote: »

I have to say being a binman doesn't seem like a good time at all, god bless them for doing it.

Making the country clean, little supervision and craic with people with a good hourly rate. Never met a depressed binman.

Teacher to me is a bull**** job. Most simply dont care arent mature, whinge all the time and resent students. Outside of reading and writing very little wisdom taught in schools.

Senna

My place has a whole team for "social media monitoring"

badabing106

badabing106 wrote: »

Health and safety officer

Graigmanliam wrote: »

I have to say being a binman doesn't seem like a good time at all, god bless them for doing it.

I wouldn't call those bullshít jobs. Hard/boring/dirty etc, but necessary. Therefore not a bullshít/pointless job that society could function without.

maudgonner

Killergreene wrote: »

Hospital Porter. Pushing people around on trolleys all day. Must get fair boring and depressing

I have to say, when my Mam was in hospital last year the porters were fantastic. Great craic, very helpful and made her feel at ease. And they seemed to be enjoying their jobs, or else they're good at hiding it.

prinzeugen

Dempsey wrote: »

You can get ejector seats in some helicopters

They fire down.. Ground nails.. But if you are any good you will live. Chinock has a poor survival rate

I get idiots at work with " print at home tickets"..

Now the clue is in the "print" bit.

If you have it on the screen of the phone, no amount of shouting "I work for Google" or "do you know who I am" is going to get you in.

Printers.. Use them. That's why when we get the likes of the OP going all "tech", we Have people to help idiots that can't boil an egg..

Your Face

I'd rather someone working a bull**** job and paying taxes than being a dole scammer layabout.

Dempsey

prinzeugen wrote: »

They fire down.. Ground nails.. But if you are any good you will live. Chinock has a poor survival rate

The Kamov Ka-50 ejects upwards. Think there is a few sideways ejection systems in use aswell.

Any ejector system that fires downwards can only be used in certain conditions, id take my chances with autorotation over a system like that.

Stonedpilot

Your Face wrote: »

I'd rather someone working a bull**** job and paying taxes than being a dole scammer layabout.

How is collecting dole a scam exactly now?.

punisher5112

Stonedpilot wrote: »

How is collecting dole a scam exactly now?.

When one is working under the tree at spa

I thought that some helicopters jettisoned the rotors first, then deployed the ejector seats.

Your Face

Stonedpilot wrote: »

How is collecting dole a scam exactly now?.

Reading the post might help in understanding it correctly.
Maybe slow down and concentrate on each word.
Dictionary.com will help with big person words.
You're welcome.

Turtyturd

Dublin Bus driver. The driving part is fairly handy and hardly challenging, but having to be a complete c*nt towards the public for the duration of your shift must take a toll. I'd say it's even hard to dial back once your shift is over.

oneilla

maudgonner wrote: »

I have to say, when my Mam was in hospital last year the porters were fantastic. Great craic, very helpful and made her feel at ease. And they seemed to be enjoying their jobs, or else they're good at hiding it.

Yep, I'll not have a bad thing said about hospital porters, very helpful and often full of chat which can help many a patient break up the monotony of a hospital ward. Especially if it's a long stay.

Stonedpilot

Your Face wrote: »

Reading the post might help in understanding it correctly.
Maybe slow down and concentrate on each word.
Dictionary.com will help with big person words.
You're welcome.

You used the word scammer! .

Big person words? Oh it burns call the fire brigade.

Talk about avoiding the question with petty nonsense. Claiming dole doesnt make someone a scammer.

uch

I worked in the Tip in Ballyogan picking up litter in 1992

cookiexx

"Journalists" like Una Mullaly and Niamh Horan and all the various rags do the profession no favours, but to dismiss it based on those kinds of plebs is pretty ignorant IMO.

Without some pretty stellar journalism you would know fack all about the Panama Papers racket, the footballer abuse scandal on a Jimmy Savile scale that's rattling the UK at the moment, a sh1t tonne of what happens in the Middle East, Tuam babies, child abuse in the Catholic church, Dublin gangland stuff etc etc.

And contrary to all that "spin doctors for the government" stuff, most politicians loathe and fear reporters because of their tendency to call them on their bullsh1t. Vincent Browne often struggles to book big political guests, government ministers etc on his show because they know they'll be torn to shreds for not living up to their promises (his moment with the ECB fella comes to mind)

The biggest bullsh1t job of all has to be a celebrity in modern times. Those TOWIE and Geordie Shore types and Instagram "stars" who are "brand ambassadors" and literally just post selfies all day.

uch

cookiexx wrote: »

"Journalists" like Una Mullaly and Niamh Horan and all the various rags do the profession no favours, but to dismiss it based on those kinds of plebs is pretty ignorant IMO.

Without some pretty stellar journalism you would know fack all about the Panama Papers racket, the footballer abuse scandal on a Jimmy Savile scale that's rattling the UK at the moment, a sh1t tonne of what happens in the Middle East, Tuam babies, child abuse in the Catholic church, Dublin gangland stuff etc etc.

And contrary to all that "spin doctors for the government" stuff, most politicians loathe and fear reporters because of their tendency to call them on their bullsh1t. Vincent Browne often struggles to book big political guests, government ministers etc on his show because they know they'll be torn to shreds for not living up to their promises (his moment with the ECB fella comes to mind)

The biggest bullsh1t job of all has to be a celebrity in modern times. Those TOWIE and Geordie Shore types and Instagram "stars" who are "brand ambassadors" and literally just post selfies all day.

Anyway I worked in the Tip in Ballyogan picking up litter in 1992

MuffinTop86

My most recent job was an exam invigilator. Such bull. Walking around slowly and feeling delighted if a student asks for extra paper.

OwaynOTT

Working in small town phone shops.
Would he fcuk off and back up your own photos and please shut down the porn pages open on safari when handing over your handset.
And running your phone over with your car to disguise the liquid damage done from dropping it in your tea doesn't mean it's covered under warranty.

Mr. FoggPatches

My idea of hell is a job where you die and, not only does no one remember you, but you made no difference to the human race. PR, morkeshing and hr are at the top of that list.

uch

I'm also a Civil servant, I win

dreamers75

Deleted User wrote: »

So many to choose from. The people who direct traffic in UCD have always been at the top for me - most of us are capable of seeing if there's a parking space without the existence of such people to "guide" us. The lads waving traffic at roadworks in 2016 when automated signs could do it are in the same category.

Tonight in Dundrum I think people engaged in "branding" have to beat that. Roly's is now Ro ly. New image, right there in that space. Such creativity. Branding/advertising/marketing - the epitome of bullshít jobs.

The entire spin doctor/Terry Prone/Svengali/public relations "managing image" types. An entire industry of pointless self-satisfied, back-stabbing sleezebags who think they are really smart because their "friends in the media" obliged by publicising their latest bit of spin/truth distortion/lie/"news". Oooh the "influence". Irish society would have substantially less bullshít if we had a special Section 31 just for starving them of the oxygen of publicity.

Journalists, every single one of them in Ireland. There are perhaps 120 public interest investigative journalists in the world, all of whom are worthy of respect. In Ireland, such journalism doesn't exist outside about 3 RTÉ Investigates programmes per year so all we have as "journalists" in our "free press" are pushers of the spin of various vested interests (usually of the government, as they can give supply endless free stories to "accommodating" journalists). Bullshít, lazy-arsed pseudo profession which at the end of the day gives society nothing.

What's your least favourite bullshít job?

Not sure I if can enter you into the wanker watch thread, I want to but unsure of the rules.

A: this poster is clearly a self entitled wanker.
B: it may break the rules.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Worked a couple of weeks in a knakers yard when I was 16.

The knackered horses where led into a courtyard and shot in the head. I would have to deal them afterwards to put the straps on them for lifting. Sometimes they'd still be moving and moaning.

It wasn't nice.

tsofitch

Driving around the country for living is pretty s**t

sligojoek

Cleaning the sh1t out of cuckoo clocks.

uch

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Worked a couple of weeks in a knakers yard when I was 16.

The knackered horses where led into a courtyard and shot in the head. I would have to deal them afterwards to put the straps on them for lifting. Sometimes they'd still be moving and moaning.

It wasn't nice.

That wouldn't have been just off new Street off Clanbrassil street in Dublin by any chance would it ?

DEFTLEFTHAND

uch wrote: »

That wouldn't have been just off new Street off Clanbrassil street in Dublin by any chance would it ?

No, in south Offaly. Between Kinnitty and Birr.

Pac1Man

Marketing.

topmanamillion

Worked in a nursing home.
Despite what some might say, I felt no privilege cleaning Sh1t off arses for minimum wage.
Also, has to be one of the most thankless jobs on the planet. Even if you do your job to a high standard, expect to be lambasted by relatives and management just because you're at the bottom of the sh1t heap.

oisinmc14

20Cent wrote: »

Testing ejector seats in a helicopter factory. Won't fall for that one again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamov_Ka-50

I'm sure they test them on site.

the_syco

Turtyturd wrote: »

Dublin Bus driver. The driving part is fairly handy and hardly challenging, but having to be a complete c*nt towards the public for the duration of your shift must take a toll. I'd say it's even hard to dial back once your shift is over.

Dublin Bus driver. The driving part is fairly handy and hardly challenging, but dealing with the complete c*nts for the duration of your shift must take a toll.

Your Face wrote: »

I'd rather someone working a bull**** job and paying taxes than being a dole scammer layabout.

Stonedpilot wrote: »

Talk about avoiding the question with petty nonsense. Claiming dole doesnt make someone a scammer.

A dole scammer is generally one that is on the dole, but works "off the books".
Harder now than it used to be, though.

Irish Guitarist

Chuggers. Accosting people in the street and guilting them into giving away their bank details under the pretense that the money is going to charity, when in reality the majority of the money is going to a rich CEO while the chugger takes a cut.

ParkRunner

Forget bullsh1t jobs, the concept of helicopter ejector seats is a much more interesting sideshow

Ferrari3600

"Oh yes," said the Captain, "Millions of them. Hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, management consultants, you name them. We're going to colonize another planet."

http://www.geoffwilkins.net/fragments/Adams.htm