Could you live a happy and fulfilling life without a relationship?

Mister Vain

Well do you think its possible? Pursuing and sustaining a romantic relationship is a major life goal for most people but could you go your entire life without one and still be happy?

mariaalice

Mister Vain wrote: »

Well do you think its possible? Pursuing and sustaining a romantic relationship is a major life goal for most people but could you go your entire life without one and still be happy?

Of course you could why not, It does take more effort though. Having said that I am very happily married but have had a long period on my own and I was grand.

5rtytry56

Yes.

But difficult enough in a place like Ireland.
I know all about it, I'm single.

Since you posted in AH,.....and no I'm not into coke & hookers ;D

Galwayguy35

No, I'm over 5 years on my own now and it feels like a lifetime.

Winterlong

Would be happy with 90% of my time in a relationship/family and 10% pure solo. Not possible though.

posturingpat

Is that a serious question?

I genuinely don't get this thing of people needing someone else to make them happy, i'm single of my own accord for 8/9 years now and have no intention of changing anytime soon.
That's not to say i'm totally against the idea if the right woman came along but this thing of people finishing one relationship and rushing into another one a month later baffles me, i love being able to live my life how i want it and not have to worry about keeping plans with a partner. I'm generally a bit hap hazard so that might have something to do with it .

Different strokes for different folks i guess but my answer is a definitive yes.

dd972

Some can, some can't and some have no choice, the people who marry in their 20's and maybe remarry or find another partner at 50 seem to be 'relationship people' who can 'do this stuff' in the same way some people are good at snooker or football and some have to resign themselves to never meeting anyone due to lack of luck, opportunity, not having any yearning or aching need for it or simply because their personalities simply aren't conducive to finding anyone.

I'm in the second category, I've never purposely decided not to find/meet anyone and like the idea of there being a soulmate out there for me, statistically in a world of 7bn half of whom are female there probably is, but it's not much use to me if she's in New Zealand or Argentina and we're never going to cross paths.

hairyprincess

We could have an AH singles night. Speed dating for the degenerates! Who's with me?!!

mzungu

Yes. You can live and happy and fulfilling life being single.

Dr Crayfish

Well I can. It took me a while to get used to it properly, most of my life really, being in and out of a few failed relationships that I probably should never have been in in the first place, and then finally finding my feet after a few stints abroad etc it all seems to be falling into place now.
I like going to work and the people there and I have a house to myself in the evenings, so I'm very lucky that way.
There's a lot to be said for a peaceful life and doing things on your own terms

MadDog76

As someone who is very happily married I would say yes, you can definitely be happy in life without being in a relationship ......... unless you're one of those people who crave one.

I was always very content and happy when single, never pursued the idea of finding the "One" but now that I have, I've never been happier ....... being in a relationship (like being financially stable, having a nice car, owning your own house or whatever it is you want in life) adds, for me, to being happy, ie. a relationship or money or whatever won't make you happy unless you're already happy with yourself.

It's an old saying but it's true, "If you can't make yourself happy then how can you make anybody else happy" ......... a lot of people learn that lesson the hard way.

bman1

I'm single 5 years. Was with a girl 10 years before that. Raised her kids with her. Left that relationship with a broken heart and empty wallet. Took a couple of years to get over that. Thought at the time I might meet sumone else but it's never happened and I'm not bothered. I know many many people are in happy relationships but I've loads of friends and family that are really unhappy too. I like my space now. I like being able to do what I want to do, go where I want to go. I've tried online dating for the Craic just to see if anything might happen but it almost feels like now that I'm useless at the small talk and stuff. Yes I'm negative right now but overall I'm really not. According to some people " being in a relationship" is something you have to do nowadays in order to be happy in life. But is it... ?

Dr Crayfish

bman1 wrote: »

According to some people " being in a relationship" is something you have to do nowadays in order to be happy in life. But is it... ?

Well, that's what the thread is asking!

MadDog76

bman1 wrote: »

I'm single 5 years. Was with a girl 10 years before that. Raised her kids with her. Left that relationship with a broken heart and empty wallet. Took a couple of years to get over that. Thought at the time I might meet sumone else but it's never happened and I'm not bothered. I know many many people are in happy relationships but I've loads of friends and family that are really unhappy too. I like my space now. I like being able to do what I want to do, go where I want to go. I've tried online dating for the Craic just to see if anything might happen but it almost feels like now that I'm useless at the small talk and stuff. Yes I'm negative right now but overall I'm really not. According to some people " being in a relationship" is something you have to do nowadays in order to be happy in life. But is it... ?

I always had one rule, be happy single and be happy in a relationship ....... if you're not, then it's time for a change.

Cupcake_Crisis

I have most parts of life pretty well sorted, good job, nice apartment, great friends. But id be lying if I said that it didn't feel like there was something missing at times.

philstar

you could, but you'd be spending a hell of a lot of time masturbating

Dravokivich

hairyprincess wrote: »

We could have an AH singles night. Speed dating for the degenerates! Who's with me?!!

Trim up a bit first princess and then maybe we'll talk. ;P

Dr Crayfish

Dravokivich wrote: »

Trim up a bit first princess and then maybe we'll talk. ;P

Also there'd probably be 10 blokes for every girl that showed up :eek:
I wonder what the ratio is on boards?

Dravokivich

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Also there'd probably be 10 blokes for every girl that showed up :eek:
I wonder what the ratio is on boards?

There had been surveys done years ago. But also around then women also attended beers in quite considerable numbers. Overall fewer people seem to show up these days.

MilesMorales1

I am doing. I'm asexual which helps, and I genuinely don't feel a need for companionship in that sense. I love my cat, he's great. Most of the time I'm around people in a social setting at all, I want to be alone again.

Noodles81

Of course you can. But first you need to be independent and know your own mind and worth to be single and happy.

A lot of people need the reassurance of a partner to feel accepted or successful to their family and peers. Some feel like it's a series of life goals to achieve in order "to be happy". But life doesn't work that way.

Many realise being a sheep and following the flock does not bring the much anticipated happiness but instead boredom and feelings of being trapped. Hence high separation rates.

Kids aren't for everyone yet it's the done thing to have a family regardless. It's a bit late after the fact to realise you're not really cut out for the job...and plenty aren't.

The best way to be happy imo, is know yourself and then go on from there. If you like doing your own thing...stay single. If you realise you are happier in company, seek it out.

Just don't live your life to please others or to fit in. No one really cares at the end of the day. We're all too busy and preoccupied with our own pursuit of happiness.

I liked being single once my heart was mended. Now I'm in a relationship and I'm happy too.

But society does expect coupling up and can be quite patronising when you don't get in on the act...like there's something wrong with you. When in fact you are just happy being free and independent with no one to answer to. That's a really lovely thing to experience too and one very much overlooked in today's world.

take everything

posturingpat wrote: »

Is that a serious question?

I genuinely don't get this thing of people needing someone else to make them happy, i'm single of my own accord for 8/9 years now and have no intention of changing anytime soon.
That's not to say i'm totally against the idea if the right woman came along but this thing of people finishing one relationship and rushing into another one a month later baffles me, i love being able to live my life how i want it and not have to worry about keeping plans with a partner. I'm generally a bit hap hazard so that might have something to do with it .

Different strokes for different folks i guess but my answer is a definitive yes.

Agree with this.
People who need another person to make them happy are kinda fcuked to begin with.

Arghus

Some people can't do it. Others are happy to make do with all the pornography the internet can provide.

Doge

Been single all my life - 32 years, not by choice and its extremely difficult for me tbh.

Its like a big void that you try to fill with other things but just feel empty inside in the end.

The worst thing is feeling like a complete failure or reject, when almost everyone else your age is settling down, getting married, having kids etc...

At this stage I'd just be happy with just 1 relationship, one that lasts.

It used not affect me when I was younger, but the older you get the tougher it gets imo.

The Raptor

Yes, I can. I love being single.

The notion that you need someone is rubbish. There are so many unhappy couples in marriages they can't get out of. Why do I want to end up like them? I don't and I like doing what I want, when I want.

darkpagandeath

You know you can get 3d porn now with vr ?

Radiosonde

I imagine I'd be miserable once I got old.

Advbrd

Earworm for the day for me is "Single Ladies".
Thanks.

B.A._Baracus

I couldnt and 99% of the world cant. We're people not bears. We need the company of others.
Sure, I know two people who worked in the old folks flats for Dublin City Council (Caretaking job, aka pulling the bins out, sweeping the area of the flats etc) and those old folks have nothing. I mean f*cking nothing. The radio and tele to keep them company all day to they die and i'm talking about people who have kids and grand kids. A lonely existence to end their existence (a harsh fact not a lot of people realise) But lets take away the kids and family who dont visit... you go try 60-70 years of living and not having any relationship. See how "alive" you'll be inside.


Dare I be blunt to... Noodles81 post above with the so many thanks is fecking horsesh*t. Spoken by a person whose had the pleasure of being in a relationship.

Wanderer78

B.A._Baracus wrote:

I couldnt and 99% of the world cant. We're people not bears. We need the company of others. Sure, I know two people who worked in the old folks flats for Dublin City Council (Caretaking job, aka pulling the bins out, sweeping the area of the flats etc) and those old folks have nothing. I mean f*cking nothing. The radio and tele to keep them company all day to they die and i'm talking about people who have kids and grand kids. A lonely existence to end their existence (a harsh fact not a lot of people realise) But lets take away the kids and family who dont visit... you go try 60-70 years of living and not having any relationship. See how "alive" you'll be inside.

I know people in their 60's that have spent most of their lives alone and they seem very fulfilled, in fact they 've had amazing lives and still do. One chap comes to and his life has been amazing, inspiring actually

_Brian

At work I work with a lot of bachelors in their 50's/60's and without exception they all speak sadly about continuously having to go back home to an empty house, particularly over the long winter evenings.

Not having someone to share problems with seems a bit burden on them.