'He's weird. like he's nice but too nice'

ManOfMystery

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice people. I understand now that being too nice is a turn off for women so I'm going to work on that. One thing I find though is that a lot of women go for so called f**kboys and its obvious they are a f**kboy and then when they get hurt by said f**kboy, they complain about him being a f**kboy.

Being extremely nice is at one end of the spectrum. Being a f**kboy, as you call it, is at the other end. You don't have to do a complete U-turn.

There's a nice middle ground where you don't have to be super nice to everyone, but you don't have to be a complete prat either. That's what works for most people. It's been said already but just be yourself - you come across as a pleasant and thoughtful person, and you don't need to change that - but just don't get too hung up on it if not everyone thinks that.

In the grand scheme of things, when you gauge whose opinion really matters or makes a difference in your life and consider the fact that every single person in this planet is quite unique in their way of thinking, you'll never get 100% approval. You will sleep better at night accepting that whilst 100% of people won't like you, the majority do and that's a good enough yardstick for most.

Airyfairy12

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice people. I understand now that being too nice is a turn off for women so I'm going to work on that. One thing I find though is that a lot of women go for so called f**kboys and its obvious they are a f**kboy and then when they get hurt by said f**kboy, they complain about him being a f**kboy.

Are you only being super nice in the hopes that women will go for you or sleep with you? If youre being nice with the expectation of getting rewarded for it thats not being nice, youve got ulterior motives for your 'niceness'. Women dont owe you relationships or sex because you were nice to them.

Ursus Horribilis

Judging by this post and other ones I've seen on boards, there could be something "off" about your manner. Even the way you resolved to become a f***K boy feeds into this.

Pac1Man

I'm afraid to ask but what is a f-boy?

Mr Arrior

Nope not after sex, frankly it comes down to me wanting them to like me and not necessarily in a romantic way.

Mr Arrior

Ursus Horribilis wrote:

Judging by this post and other ones I've seen on boards, there could be something "off" about your manner. Even the way you resolved to become a f***K boy feeds into this.

Sorry no I didn't mean i was gonna be a f**kboy now, it was just a separate observation. Probably should have separated them better.

Mr Arrior

Pac1Man wrote:

I'm afraid to ask but what is a f-boy?

Its basically a guy that is all nice to a woman to get in her pants.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

You've mentioned a couple of times in the thread that it's not a great time for you anyway, and you seem to really homing in on this. Myself in the past, if I'm just sort miserable in general or for large, vague reasons, I've homed in on a specific but ultimately irrelevant comment someone has made because a) it seems specific enough to be something that can be changed b) if I'm feeling that bad the self esteem probably isn't as good as it could be anyways and c) it's a distraction from focusing on the other, more important reasons for being in the dumps.

Listen, you cannot please all of the people all of the time. What's sickeningly sweet to one person will be just standardly pleasant to another. What most people do have in common is a negative reaction to people they feel are being fake, especially fake with an agenda. If you're a nice fellah, and from how you're coming across here I think you are, pretending to be a d1ck isn't going to work. Like someone said above there are women who go for the "badboys", but there tends to be a reason they do that and it's not one that bodes well for happy times in a relationship with them.

If there's one thing you could work on changing about yourself, maybe it'd be being so concerned with being liked and what other people think of you (which I know can be kind of like saying 'sure just learn how to fly!'). Someone you used to work with thinks you're too nice, who cares? Seriously, what impact does that need to have on your happiness and your life beyond what you allow it to?

Mr Arrior

Richard Swift Gentleman wrote:

If there's one thing you could work on changing about yourself, maybe it'd be being so concerned with being liked and what other people think of you (which I know can be kind of like saying 'sure just learn how to fly!'). Someone you used to work with thinks you're too nice, who cares? Seriously, what impact does that need to have on your happiness and your life beyond what you allow it to?

Great post thanks, tbh this isn't bothering me that much anymore. I wasn't in the best of form when I heard what she said and it just added to the low mood. Thankfully a lot has settled since.

pilly

Mr Arrior wrote:

Nope not after sex, frankly it comes down to me wanting them to like me and not necessarily in a romantic way.

Ah now this throws a different light on things though. I know a guy who wants everyone to like him and therefore agrees with everything people say. It's one of THE most annoying traits because it's fake.

pilly

Fact is no-one will be like by 100 per cent of the people and that's fine because we're all different.