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Crap christmas presents...

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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,500 ✭✭✭BrokenArrows


    Remote control helicopter from a parent, I was 29....

    Im 31, id love to receive a remote control helicopter. Sounds amazing :D


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Im 31, id love to receive a remote control helicopter. Sounds amazing :D

    Everyone wants the helicopter! Think I'll buy my son one. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 370 ✭✭Stepping Stone


    My OH buys the worst presents. Every year, I give him a list with specific stuffwith links to websites. I give him a huge list, tell him to pick a few and spend abput €60 on stuff that I really want.

    Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him. Vouchers that I will never use. I got a voucher for a jewellers last year that is just about as not my style as possible. Teddy bears (in my 30s), Superdry hoodies (not my style), tickets for concerts you couldn't pay me to go to (trad **** normally. I HATE trad). Last year was so bad that I forced him to return most of it. He was incredibly hurt but the gifts are so thoughtless and often selfish.

    Again this year, he has it 'sorted' but actually it sold out, so he will 'sort' it. I want a jumper for €45 and a pair of slippers that I will use.

    I know that I am in for Superdry (always asks me what clothes I like in there and I always say none.), a toy of some kind (don't like teddies anymore) and I am going to say some piece of jewellery that I have already told him that I don't like (Pandora bracelets and charms). Why I spend 12 thinking and planning his presents, I don't know.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV


    <snip> Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him. Vouchers that I will never use. I got a voucher for a jewellers last year that is just about as not my style as possible. Teddy bears (in my 30s), Superdry hoodies (not my style), tickets for concerts you couldn't pay me to go to
    And a partridge in a pear treeeeee...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    My OH buys the worst presents. Every year, I give him a list with specific stuffwith links to websites. I give him a huge list, tell him to pick a few and spend abput €60 on stuff that I really want.

    Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him.

    Aaahh yes. I know this man. You see, you must understand that getting you a gift is an obligation, not a pleasant job. Offering hints for gifts amounting to 60 yoyo's feels like a trap to us simpletons. Spending 500 on some stuff fills that obligation. We prefer to throw money at the problem.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,975 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    When I was quite young, I gave my ma a tin opener for Christmas.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,018 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    My OH buys the worst presents. Every year, I give him a list with specific stuffwith links to websites. I give him a huge list, tell him to pick a few and spend abput €60 on stuff that I really want.

    Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him. Vouchers that I will never use. I got a voucher for a jewellers last year that is just about as not my style as possible. Teddy bears (in my 30s), Superdry hoodies (not my style), tickets for concerts you couldn't pay me to go to (trad **** normally. I HATE trad). Last year was so bad that I forced him to return most of it. He was incredibly hurt but the gifts are so thoughtless and often selfish.

    Again this year, he has it 'sorted' but actually it sold out, so he will 'sort' it. I want a jumper for €45 and a pair of slippers that I will use.

    I know that I am in for Superdry (always asks me what clothes I like in there and I always say none.), a toy of some kind (don't like teddies anymore) and I am going to say some piece of jewellery that I have already told him that I don't like (Pandora bracelets and charms). Why I spend 12 thinking and planning his presents, I don't know.

    I'm imagining you opening a festively-wrapped 500lbs of poo :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,626 ✭✭✭Glenster


    fizzypish wrote: »
    Aaahh yes. I know this man. You see, you must understand that getting you a gift is an obligation, not a pleasant job. Offering hints for gifts amounting to 60 yoyo's feels like a trap to us simpletons. Spending 500 on some stuff fills that obligation. We prefer to throw money at the problem.

    Absolutely. And it is a trap.

    Mark my words, there will be war on Xmas day if we only got you what you asked for.


  • Registered Users Posts: 370 ✭✭Stepping Stone


    fizzypish wrote: »
    Aaahh yes. I know this man. You see, you must understand that getting you a gift is an obligation, not a pleasant job. Offering hints for gifts amounting to 60 yoyo's feels like a trap to us simpletons. Spending 500 on some stuff fills that obligation. We prefer to throw money at the problem.

    I just want practical stuff...he spent almost a grand on a designer handbag one year that I never use because it is the least practical thing in the world. I can't fit my wallet into it but it is too casual for weddings and as ugly as can be. My fault. I wanted a specific handbag from Accessorize that year, so obviously spending €800 more made it better.

    He is great in so many ways but the presents....


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    I just want practical stuff...he spent almost a grand on a designer handbag one year that I never use because it is the least practical thing in the world. I can't fit my wallet into it but it is too casual for weddings and as ugly as can be. My fault. I wanted a specific handbag from Accessorize that year, so obviously spending €800 more made it better.

    He is great in so many ways but the presents....

    Ah come on, he's trying his best to surprise you. Don't be too harsh. :) Just ask for receipts!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    He is great in so many ways but the presents....

    The poor lad. He hasn't realized some simple facts.
    1. No vouchers, not personal enough
    2. No clothes or perfume unless specifics are given. A bad perfume is ok (She'll smile at the thought) but you **** up a jumper and its too big/small, O LORDY, you have accidentally implanted body issues into your woman!!! Also everybody has their own particular style so unless you follow the lady around the shops on numerous days out to build up a style catalogue for her (which needs to be updated yearly) you'll get it wrong.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Am I the only one who LOVES vouchers? It's a golden ticket for exactly what you want, no?


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    My OH buys the worst presents. Every year, I give him a list with specific stuffwith links to websites. I give him a huge list, tell him to pick a few and spend abput €60 on stuff that I really want.

    Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him. Vouchers that I will never use. I got a voucher for a jewellers last year that is just about as not my style as possible. Teddy bears (in my 30s), Superdry hoodies (not my style), tickets for concerts you couldn't pay me to go to (trad **** normally. I HATE trad). Last year was so bad that I forced him to return most of it. He was incredibly hurt but the gifts are so thoughtless and often selfish.

    Again this year, he has it 'sorted' but actually it sold out, so he will 'sort' it. I want a jumper for €45 and a pair of slippers that I will use.

    I know that I am in for Superdry (always asks me what clothes I like in there and I always say none.), a toy of some kind (don't like teddies anymore) and I am going to say some piece of jewellery that I have already told him that I don't like (Pandora bracelets and charms). Why I spend 12 thinking and planning his presents, I don't know.

    Want to know which woman in work he fancies? Look out for the girl wearing Superdry gear!! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,377 ✭✭✭cml387


    SNNUS wrote: »
    My sister got a car sandwich toaster off long term boyfriend for xmas.. pretty much finished after that...
    I read that as a cat sandwich toaster.
    Different thing altogether.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    A shop I worked in years ago, a huge Polish guy, maybe around 30, returned a steam mop early on the 27th when we opened again, with a huge scowl on his face.

    Didn't even have to ask what the story was when he started muttering in broken English '****ing bitch, always talking about this mop and then I give her gift and she start screaming and hitting me'

    Amazing how some people get it so wrong. Wonder what he bought her with the refund....if he still had a girlfriend, that is.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Mrs Bap has a list of things she would like for Christmas stuck to the fridge. She thinks I haven't noticed it, but I took a snap and have it on my phone and have started to chip away at it.

    She turns to me yesterday and says that she would love a laptop for her Christmas pressie.

    I think I'll return all the stuff and get her an in-car sandwich toaster as it sounds like the greatest invention ever.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV


    I lived next door to 2 beautiful Polish lesbians. I brought out their wheelie bins and cut their grass at times. One Christmas they got me a lovely Seiko. They didn't understand when I said, "I wanna watch."


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,027 ✭✭✭H3llR4iser


    Never seen a bigger collection of ungrateful feckers in the same place, the Grinch has nothing on ye', I tell ya! :D:D:D
    Lucyfur wrote: »
    Am I the only one who LOVES vouchers? It's a golden ticket for exactly what you want, no?

    I am on the same page; Actually I don't believe at all there's no "thought" behind a voucher - often times, the issue is quite the contrary: there's an absolute cr@pload of brain rattling that ultimately led to fatigue, disenchantment and defeat, hence the voucher. Also, what the voucher is for makes a big difference - get me one for Boots, and it's clear it's a random choice; Gimme one from Amazon, Steam, Gamespot, Marks Models, Maplin...and it's equally clear you at least know me a bit :D

    I often have this issue with my brother - only 4 years between us, growing up together and whatnot, sure he'd be the easiest person to get a gift for? Problem is, we live 2000 km apart and he goes through "phases" faster than a teenage girl goes through fashions.

    Last year I thought "sure, I'll get him something for the bike" - he had a Suzuki GSR600. I start looking, and mid-November he sells the bike. Then I go "all right, some cycling gear maybe" - and then I ask him about his bicycle, and he says he ain't using it anymore and is thinking of...you guessed it, selling it.

    Then I go to a staple - something for the Playstation 4; A game, an accessory he's looking for / needs - but the problem is, I can't ask directly and can't go take a look at what he has. I asked out mom to "casually" check his games stash whenever she visited. She reported back "he has some games in blue boxes" and a black pad but "with no wire, like a remote control". Of course.

    But he is Italy's most loyal Amazon customer (85% of whatever he has comes from there), so their gift vouchers saved my arse big time. And it's gonna be just as though this year...


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,626 ✭✭✭Glenster


    I lived next door to 2 beautiful Polish lesbians. I brought out their wheelie bins and cut their grass at times.

    You mucky pup


  • Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Fox Hound


    A frying pan & a block of pretty blunt knives. From a soon to be ex.
    How blunt? sometimes being too blunt with people can cut deep :P


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  • Registered Users Posts: 244 ✭✭Syndic


    Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

    I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?:confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    Syndic wrote: »
    Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

    I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?:confused:

    Hopefully the same person will get you this year and you'll get the other half.


  • Registered Users Posts: 59 ✭✭oEmmao


    anti-ageing cream, i was 29 at the time . . . . . ?! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    oEmmao wrote: »
    anti-ageing cream, i was 29 at the time . . . . . ?! :D

    Way too late to be given anti ageing cream.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    Syndic wrote: »
    Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

    I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?:confused:

    *someone* I know was given half a box of milk tray in a sandwich bag.

    Yes. That happened.

    No. It wasn't me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,104 ✭✭✭05eaftqbrs9jlh


    The whole present thing is shallow materialistic crap and none of it matters or will ever make any of you truly happy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    The whole present thing is shallow materialistic crap and none of it matters or will ever make any of you truly happy.

    Oooooh, someone didn't get the Polly Pocket they asked Santa for!


  • Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭nermal15


    I love getting household stuff as presents; have asked my parents for a hoover this year and last year my boyfriend got me a set of kitchen ware and I was delighted! I seem to be in the minority though.

    Recent bad presents have included a penguin cookie jar that quacks when you open it and a carved wooden picture of Michael Jackson. But these were from my mam who has given me decades of wonderful pressies so I can't complain!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,294 ✭✭✭rainbowdrop


    BetsyEllen wrote: »
    I can't abide gift sets of shower gels, moisturisers etc.

    So thoughtless, obviously someone has popped into Boots for the 3 for 2 offer.

    The only item I ever use from them is the bubble bath. The rest sits on my dressing table for a while, gets dusty and then usually gets thrown out one day when I'm having a spring clean.
    I can guarantee I'll get a set this year, I always do.

    I would rather someone went to Penneys and got me a €6 set of PJ's or some socks, even a candle! Just as thoughtless but I would at least use them :)

    I must be one of the few people that don't mind getting shower gel/body lotion sets. Saves me having to buy them til about April or May every year.

    My Mam and Dad bought me a car jack a few years ago. As I unwrapped it, I was silently mouthing 'what the actual ****?' to myself, but to be fair, it has come in handy a few times.

    Think the worst present I ever got was a Bjork album from my brother. He had found it on a bench outside the local HMV (brand new, still in the bag with receipt). I wouldn't mind so much, but I was with him when he found it and commented to him about how much I disliked her musicðŸ˜


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  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Aw I think the boots 3 for 2 is great. I love so many things in there
    They've stuff like mini jam sets and twinings tea sets and stuff as well now


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