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Break-up, trapped abroad.. what to do

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Comments

  • #32
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,849 ✭✭✭professore


    She's cheating on her husband, has a kid and is out all night with her university mates. Does her husband know you exist, I.e. have you met him? Her telling you isn't good enough. And her sleeping with you is hardly a stable environment for her kid. Find a decent woman, you deserve better.


  • #33
    SwordofLight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 350 ✭✭SwordofLight


    Thank you all so much for the replies. I had some time without her over the holiday period and have realised a few things. I am a drama queen, probably driven neurotic from making bad life choices and being unhappy with myself for that. With this woman, we are a mismatch, and I don't have the balls to tell her goodbye. We have become even closer as she bought me Xmas gifts and introduced me to her son. It's going to be tough. I worry about her. I don't want to let her go, but at the same time my head says it cannot work. Even typing this has my heart racing with panic. It's pathetic. All the help and pointers I've received from you all and I can't do it. I keep thinking I can find a way to make it work. I'm warming to the idea of being a stepdad and just moving in with her and her son next month. I know what I'm signing up for, but I've developed the attitude that I've made my bed and now I've to lie in it. I could be happy with that after a while if I just accept life and stop moaning. Or maybe I need to make a plan of how I'm going to end it with her, maybe it will naturally fizzle out itself in a few months anyway and all this drama will have been for nothing. Anyone reading this would think I'm insane, I can't make a decision, on the one hand I'm inlove with her, on the other I'm wanting something else.


  • #34
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,286 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    SwordofLight wrote: »
    Thank you all so much for the replies. I had some time without her over the holiday period and have realised a few things. I am a drama queen, probably driven neurotic from making bad life choices and being unhappy with myself for that. With this woman, we are a mismatch, and I don't have the balls to tell her goodbye. We have become even closer as she bought me Xmas gifts and introduced me to her son. It's going to be tough. I worry about her. I don't want to let her go, but at the same time my head says it cannot work. Even typing this has my heart racing with panic. It's pathetic. All the help and pointers I've received from you all and I can't do it. I keep thinking I can find a way to make it work. I'm warming to the idea of being a stepdad and just moving in with her and her son next month. I know what I'm signing up for, but I've developed the attitude that I've made my bed and now I've to lie in it. I could be happy with that after a while if I just accept life and stop moaning. Or maybe I need to make a plan of how I'm going to end it with her, maybe it will naturally fizzle out itself in a few months anyway and all this drama will have been for nothing. Anyone reading this would think I'm insane, I can't make a decision, on the one hand I'm inlove with her, on the other I'm wanting something else.

    You dont have to remain in this relationship but you were incredibly foolish to meet her son. You came on here looking for advice. You ignored every bit of sound advice you were given.

    So now you will have to contend with a flaky woman and her ex. And what if you get attached to her son and have to break that attachment because the lady in question discovers once again that she isnt able to commit?

    Have you even thought this far ahead? Your taking some huge risk here and ive a terrible feeling it will end one way, pain all around


  • #35
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    SwordofLight wrote: »
    I'm warming to the idea of being a stepdad and just moving in with her and her son next month.

    Well....that escalated!

    Best of luck, OP. You're going to need it. I suppose I'm wasting my time here but for jaysus sake will you be careful with the contraception side of things. Don't even think about having a baby with her. Though seeing as you're wilfully ignoring everything we've advised you and are doing the exact opposite, maybe I should be telling you to go at it like rabbits and trust her to take the pill.


  • #36
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,959 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You've made your bed? What bed? That phrase means that you've done something fairly monumental that you can't get out of. You haven't done anything, yet! You're in a flaky relationship. You have no commitments to each other (she's not pregnant, is she?) You have no mortgage together? You're not married? What bed have you made?? I'd get out now before the bed is made, but as others have pointed out, you're not going to listen. You are going to continue a dodgy relationship, with a flaky woman and a jealous, obsessive, abusive ex who she was going to buy a house with a couple of months ago, and now the plan is to move in with you instead?

    It sounds like this woman is looking for someone to share the bills with, and whether that's her ex husband or you it doesn't really matter.

    Good luck, OP, you're going to need it.
    See you back here pretty soon looking for advice on how to get access to your child and how to stop her ex husband interfering in your child's life!


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