Toilet the sequel.

pragmatic1

I say this discussed on a buzzfeed video one day when I was bored.

When you make a poo and wipe, do you wipe sitting down or stand up, inspect and wipe again, if needs be?

I'm in the latter camp. How does one know that one is clean without inspecting.

The_Valeyard

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, flushing meadows

Mr.Crinklewood

Time for a new thread. ..

We can post selfies of our wipe attempts.

Other Boards members can then vote if we need to wipe again or not.

The_Valeyard

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Time for a new thread. ..

We can post selfies of our wipe attempts.

Other Boards members can then vote if we need to wipe again or not.

Bonus points for successfully navigating hemorrhoids

Your Face

Ffs.

Your Face

Your Face wrote: »

Ffs.

^^^What he said^^^ I quite agree!!!

What a weird question to ask anyone, let alone random strangers on the internet!

If you simply must know for whatever odd reasons, then none of the above. I use water, haven't used paper in 15 years unless I absolutely have to use a public jacks, and would rate the health and hygiene benefits quite highly.

Toots

I think the OP is in the process of being toilet trained. He has another thread asking whether you take your dick and balls out while peeing, and here's a thread asking how to wipe your arse!

Might I suggest you read "Everybody Poops" it probably contains all the info you need.

lazybones32

My brother took a photo of a particularly large dump he made one day. Not only did he show it* to his partner but she still has it on her phone. The man used $hit at least 3 times a day


*the photo of the dump

Wasn't there a notorious poster around these parts who loved to discuss his poops? He isn't in circulation anymore I don't think.

pragmatic1

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Time for a new thread. ..

We can post selfies of our wipe attempts.

Other Boards members can then vote if we need to wipe again or not.

We'll call it The Great Boardsie Wipe off.

Points for colour, texture, originality, conservation of paper, artistic merit and a bonus round.

pragmatic1

Deleted User wrote: »

^^^What he said^^^ I quite agree!!!

What a weird question to ask anyone, let alone random strangers on the internet!

If you simply must know for whatever odd reasons, then none of the above. I use water, haven't used paper in 15 years unless I absolutely have to use a public jacks, and would rate the health and hygiene benefits quite highly.

I'm not running for public office mate. It's an anonymous internet forum,

pragmatic1

Toots wrote: »

I think the OP is in the process of being toilet trained. He has another thread asking whether you take your dick and balls out while peeing, and here's a thread asking how to wipe your arse!

Might I suggest you read "Everybody Poops" it probably contains all the info you need.

I prefer the Catholic version.

Fuzzytrooper

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I prefer the Catholic version.

Concentrated evil I tells ya

whiskeyman

Deleted User wrote: »

Wasn't there a notorious poster around these parts who loved to discuss his poops? He isn't in circulation anymore I don't think.

Now children, gather round and let me tell you tales of the legend that was Flutt...

whiskeyman

whiskeyman wrote: »

Now children, gather round and let me tell you tales of the legend that was Flutt...

I like hearing these kinds of stories

whiskeyman

Deleted User wrote: »

I like hearing these kinds of stories

And so we shall begin....


Once upon a pot...

whiskeyman

whiskeyman wrote: »

And so we shall begin....


Once upon a pot...

Go on......

Rumpy Pumpy

Depends on the context. You certainly don't want to be looking if you're attempting a clean up operation after a particularly heavy night on Uncle Arthur's magic medicine. Far too traumatic. Different if you've been living a virtuous life and want to see if you've managed a 'winner, all white'.

darlett

whiskeyman wrote: »

And so we shall begin....


Once upon a pot...

A very long, long poo ago...

pragmatic1

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Depends on the context. You certainly don't want to be looking if you're attempting a clean up operation after a particularly heavy night on Uncle Arthur's magic medicine. Far too traumatic. Different if you've been living a virtuous life and want to see if you've managed a 'winner, all white'.

Yeah. All white is what you're aiming for. The holy grail of bowel evacuations.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

Rumpy Pumpy

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Yeah. All white is what you're aiming for. The holy grail of bowel evacuations.

Combined with a phantom. Like it never happened.

suicide_circus

I plant my bare arse on the carpet and drag myself forward

JupiterKid

I get the dog to lick my posterior after I evacuate my bowels.

lazybones32

In the spirit of this thread, I offer the example of artist Keith Boadwee...

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

I thought toilet threads were banned in AH around 2005...

Toots

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I prefer the Catholic version.

Or the alternative version Everybody Poops Except a Baby Without an Anus

Badly Drunk Boy

Deleted User wrote: »

Wasn't there a notorious poster around these parts who loved to discuss his poops? He isn't in circulation anymore I don't think.

Do you mean kfallon? If so, I'm sure he's still around.

learn_more

I'm filthy rich. I have a maid permanently stationed in all my bathrooms that wipe me down.

Regards,

Simon Cowell.

The Domonator

I wear granny nappies.

Badly Drunk Boy

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Do you mean kfallon? If so, I'm sure he's still around.

Nope.

Beanntraigheach

I clap my hands twice to summon a team of exquisite Grecian youths who deftly cleanse my posterior with richly embroidered silken cloths and rose water, my buttocks are then vigorously massaged and anointed with scented oils.

Hammer89

lazybones32 wrote: »

My brother took a photo of a particularly large dump he made one day. Not only did he show it* to his partner but she still has it on her phone.

I've used leaves and cotton balls but never a phone.

Stigura

Is it too early for a christmas special yet ....

Just seems to fit here.

Ted111

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Do you mean kfallon? If so, I'm sure he's still around.

Fluttering Bantam. spelling might be wrong.

Slideways

Ted111 wrote: »

Fluttering Bantam. spelling might be wrong.

A legend in his time. Long may his wisdom reign

Rumpy Pumpy

Slideways wrote: »

A legend in his time. Long may his wisdom reign

A prophet. And you shall know him by his droppings.

harry Bailey esq

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I'm not running for public office mate. It's an anonymous internet forum,

Exactly friend,your opening gambit is as worthy and valid of discussion than anything else that gets thrown up on after hours,its just that most posters don't have the cajones to bring it up.For the record, I always inspect after the initial wipe.How would you know its clean?? Ive also weighed myself pre and post shíte and compared the results.Sometimes its tough being at the top.

Ted111

Ted111 wrote: »

Fluttering Bantam. spelling might be wrong.

Yep that's him. I knew the name was something to do with a hen

Rumpy Pumpy

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Exactly friend,your opening gambit is as worthy and valid of discussion than anything else that gets thrown up on after hours,its just that most posters don't have the cajones to bring it up.For the record, I always inspect after the initial wipe.How would you know its clean?? Ive also weighed myself pre and post shíte and compared the results.Sometimes its tough being at the top.

Dropped a few weight divisions in boxing parlance?

harry Bailey esq

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Dropped a few weight divisions in boxing parlance?

Sometimes.It can be pretty deceiving hobby for want of a better word,pastime would be more apt perhaps... Sometimes it feels like you have deposited a massive payload,wipe and confidently hop on the josie wales,only to discover you've a dropped a measly 10 ouncer,despite the feeling that it was close to a personal best,and the steaming pile of shíte is aesthetically a winner.Over many years, I've realised that this phenomenon is caused mainly by two culprits,the first and foremost reason is that the shíte,majestic looking as it may be,has the consistency of an aero bar,or honeycombed treat.Less common,usually occuring amongst beginners, is an inaccurate scales,and there was the one time was wearing the wrong glasses,oh how i laughed upon discovering the mishap,good times.Apologies,im ramblin
away talking shíte on the Internet again,you know how it goes yourself chief.Back to your question/query,in boxing parlance it definitely happens,usually in the lower weight categories,its rare enough that said.In general sporting parlance however,most jockeys would be familiar with the practice.