Second coming

gramar

What would happen if there was a second coming? What if JC himself appeared and not only claimed to be the son of God but was to prove it?
The catholic church would get a big surprise anyway.

OU812

Normally takes about 15 minutes.

Boom_Bap

Best magic show in town.

FunLover18

I'm a messiah, get me out of here!!

DontThankMe

What if Donald Trump gets elected?

Allinall

I know we're not allowed discuss banned posters, but I really don't think we'll see him again.

Maximus Alexander

I want to open a cheese shop in Israel and call it Cheeses of Nazareth.

brevity

I'm sick of sequels.

timmy880

He would look at the following:

- The American election
- Dabbing
- Justin Bieber
- Selfies
- Hugh Jackman

He would leave again for another 2000 years

Dravokivich

timmy880 wrote: »

He would look at the following:

- The American election
- Dabbing
- Justin Bieber
- Selfies
- Hugh Jackman

He would leave again for another 2000 years

What have you got against Hugh Jackman?

suicide_circus

not something you should really worry about tbh

a god that makes his creations sick only to command them to be well is not going to be a god you can really ever please or reason with

the kind of god which can create black holes, dark matter, galaxies etc and yet is still apparently concerned about what food you eat, who you go to bed with, wants you to slice pieces off your children...this is a tinkering and capricious god whom you should not spend any of your short life worrying about as he would be, if he did exist, so far outside the realm of your comprehension that to concern yourself with his fads would be a waste of life

Hande hoche!

DontThankMe wrote: »

What if Donald Trump gets elected?

Fair point, it might be an end of days situation...

kfallon

Second Coming - good album imo, Ten Storey Love Song probably the highlight for me but a good solid 7/10 album, they could never reach the heights of their self titled debut album!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

"Look, it's Jesus!!!"

"And his best friend Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, ohhh!"

not yet

I'd say heeeor com'ere for a minute, a chap called Stephen Fry would love a word with you..

Knex*

brevity wrote: »

I'm sick of sequels.

The prequel wasn't bad. Lot more action, CGI, violence and the likes. Thought the franchise lost its way a bit with the New Testament though. I can't see how doing the stereotypical "in the future" third book will help a dying series.

Maybe if they sex it up a bit. "12 Shades of Jesus", and its just him riding the apostles. Only now they are now female Ghostbusters Serpentbusters.

Hande hoche!

not yet wrote: »

I'd say heeeor com'ere for a minute, a chap called Stephen Fry would love a word with you..

His replacement could have Christ on Q.I.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

KERSPLAT!

I wonder if he'd stick to the wine or go mad for Jagerbombs. Not a fan myself

Mr. FoggPatches

Jesus would have loved this thread

endacl

There can't be a second coming, as there wasn't a first. Just a delusional chippie.

frag420

Depends who directs it Op! If Michael Bay directed it I think we would be in for a cool show, would love a futuristic robotic cyborg Jesus - JC1000

Jawgap

If Jesus showed up now.....







.....I'd be saying "feckin' Spanish students - is there no relief from them. Trump had the right idea!!"

whiskeyman

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I want to open a cheese shop in Israel and call it Cheeses of Nazareth.

Will you sell lots of Swiss cheese?












It's oh so holy!!

Randle P. McMurphy

Coming from the Middle East he won't be gettng in to the USA if Trump gets elected tonight.

The_Valeyard

brevity wrote: »

I'm sick of sequels.

Sometimes the sequel is better than the original.

fryup

i think we're a bit too savvy nowadays to fall for that..."i'm the son god" gibberish

you'd be scoffed at

*unless of course they can pull off the loaves & fishes and water into wine trick

The second usually lasts longer than the first.

Rory28

Only if he comes with blackjack and hookers.

Matter of fact forget the jesus and blackjack.

Advbrd

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I want to open a cheese shop in Israel and call it Cheeses of Nazareth.

Yeah, I used to give my then 6 year old Babybells with his lunch. We called them Baby Cheeses. His teacher was not impressed.

Pherekydes

Em, there was a 2nd coming. He died and two days later he rose again. Count 'em up. Two.

Next time will be the third time.

The_Valeyard

Pherekydes wrote: »

Em, there was a 2nd coming. He died and two days later he rose again. Count 'em up. Two.

Next time will be the third time.

Nah, that was just a teaser trailer.

Rory28

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Nah, that was just a teaser trailer.

The kickstarter failed so it aint happening.

CINCLANTFLT

brevity wrote: »

I'm sick of sequels.

I'm sick of squirrels...

CINCLANTFLT

suicide_circus wrote: »

not something you should really worry about tbh

a god that makes his creations sick only to command them to be well is not going to be a god you can really ever please or reason with

the kind of god which can create black holes, dark matter, galaxies etc and yet is still apparently concerned about what food you eat, who you go to bed with, wants you to slice pieces off your children...this is a tinkering and capricious god whom you should not spend any of your short life worrying about as he would be, if he did exist, so far outside the realm of your comprehension that to concern yourself with his fads would be a waste of life

I've had two faps already today... do you think he cares? I blame my finding of the tag FFM in xvideos for this...

jimgoose

God is already here among us and has been for some time. He's working as a systems programmer for Texas Instruments. See here for a FAQ:

https://banana.fish/sysadmin/GodSysadmin

Winterlong

If there is a second coming we will need a new bible.
We could get Stephen King to write it. Make it more exciting like.

gctest50

Pherekydes wrote: »

Em, there was a 2nd coming. He died and two days later he rose again. Count 'em up. Two.

Next time will be the third time.

We've readymix concrete now though

Be like : "get out of that you beardy hipster git"

Dr Jakub

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ba/a6/23/baa623e85cff78aca342882ea63c600c.jpg

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I thought this thread was going in a very different direction.

Riddle101

We can finally put those "Jesus is coming, look busy" t-shirts to good use.

DJIMI TRARORE

His arrival would be followed by a reality show to pick the 12 apostles

Hande hoche!

DJIMI TRARORE wrote: »

His arrival would be followed by a reality show to pick the 12 apostles

With inevitably one contestant declaring they were here to win and not to make friends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g2S3goIWs0

maudgonner

Angelina will be making a huge play to become the new Mary Magdalene.

gramar

maudgonner wrote: »

Angelina will be making a huge play to become the new Mary Magdalene.

Would Morgan Freeman play his father? And if Jesus is white as presumed to be? More scandal to hit the church.

Duckworth_Luas

Garth is not coming back

gramar

gramar wrote: »

What would happen if there was a second coming? What if JC himself appeared and not only claimed to be the son of God but was to prove it?
The catholic church would get a big surprise anyway.

Four (Android) pages into a discussion on what would happen in the event of a Second Coming and nobody has mentioned one of the most profound pieces of existential literature ever written, Dostoevsky's Grand Inquisitor from his greatest novel The Brothers Karamazov.

The Grand Inquisitor