Is it that time of year already...

KERSPLAT!

Up early tomorrow so I got myself to bed early. Lying in bed having a quick flick of boards before heading off to sleep.

I feel something on my neck, must be the duvet I says to myself. I move the duvet and have a scratch. Feel something on my wrist, turn the light from my phone screen towards it and there he is, little 8 legged bollox.

I've no petrol to burn the house down so I got a pint glass, trapped the little bugger and fired him out the window.

Is that it now, are our 8 legged friends about to invade? I don't mind them around the house but I prefer a nice blonde on the pillow beside me truth be told.

Anyway, no sleep for me -_-

The_Valeyard

It's mating season.
They are harmless.
Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
Problem sorted.

Sweetemotion

Go, buy some petrol.

KERSPLAT!

The_Valeyard wrote: »

It's mating season.
They are harmless.
Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
Problem sorted.

My bed is strictly for me to mate in.

tomwaterford

The_Valeyard wrote: »

It's mating season.
They are harmless.
Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
Problem sorted.

No....they must be crushed with newspaper

Dravokivich

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

My bed is strictly for me to mate in.

Haha yeah right.

Summer wind

Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

Your Face

Thought this might be of interest:

http://www.rte.ie/news/2016/0922/818448-spiders/

GLaDOS

GIANT SEX SPIDERS ARE INVADING YOUR BED TONIGHT

KERSPLAT!

Summer wind wrote: »

Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

Knock on the door first. It's mating season apparently!

Del2005

Summer wind wrote: »

Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

Check for 8 socks on the door.

Surreptitious

Yeah I'm in bed too and I'm blonde and have only two legs. Don't fancy some critter all over me when I'm asleep.

hairyslug

On average, per year while asleep, 8 spiders will crawl on you and wave their willies in your face, that's a fact you can take to the bank

Stheno

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Knock on the he door first. It's mating season apparently!

One of the local tomcats took up residence in my bed today :eek:

I like having spiders about, but not that bastard cat, he arrived in one morning I was having a lie in, jumped on the bed and nearly gave me heart failure

The Backwards Man

I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

Bastard.

KERSPLAT!

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

Bastard.

Make sure you get rent, he's there to stay!

The_Valeyard

Summer wind wrote: »

Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

Once you've opened and read this thread...it starts..

As you sleep, the screen on your phone will activate. A dark grey shimmer. Slowly, and carefully, legs emerge from the screen, then a large hairy body. Then another set of legs and body, then another and another....
Slowly they make their way to your bed, they crawl into your ears and lay eggs. Then leave the way they came. The eggs grow, then hatch, and the small hungry critters, eat you alive from the inside. All because you read this thread.

Outlaw Pete

I was full sure from the title and the first sentence of the OP, that this was going to be a thread about fireworks going off and Halloween... :P

Surreptitious

Just before ye sleep...











I woke up one day and thought what if a spider burrowed up my nose and nested in my sinus passages?
Freaked me out all day.

The Backwards Man

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Make sure you get rent, he's there to stay!

He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.

KERSPLAT!

The Backwards Man wrote: »

He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.

There's a sequel in this. Clocks 2: Time is ticking

Gimme 10 minutes, I can do better!!

Stheno

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

I was full sure from the title and the first sentence of the OP, that this was going to be a thread about fireworks going off and Halloween... :P

I was full sure it would be righteous indignation about some shop having Christmas sections open.

At least we don't have that parasite that slithers up your penis and does all sorts of damage here.

byte

The Backwards Man wrote: »

He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.

RIP

HeidiHeidi

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

Bastard.

Clock

Typo? Autocorrect? My new word for the day (every day being a school day and all that)?

hairyslug

byte wrote: »

RIP

He's with the angles now

The Backwards Man

byte wrote: »

RIP

It was him or me.

The Backwards Man

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Clock

Typo? Autocorrect? My new word for the day (every day being a school day and all that)?

Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

ongarite

careful you don't swallow him in bed tonight or maybe your into that kind of thing..

HeidiHeidi

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

Ah.

I think......



(That'll be the school day option then)

Stheno

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

Euwwwww those feckers need squashing.

Now my spider in the downstairs lol who eats the random insects?

Most welcome

The Raptor

Apparently spiders don't like if you burn peppermint oil in a burner. So they don't go anywhere near a room with it burning.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Funny you should say that. There was a massive one, a light brown one on my bedroom wall about an hour ago. I had to trap him with a glass and paper, and flush him down the toilet.

He was almost surfing the water flushing him away he was so big. I don't think there's any in my actual bed.

endacl

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

My bed is strictly for me to mate in.

Don't! They'll kill you and start to eat you before you even get to the good bit!

:eek:

Stheno

The Raptor wrote: »

Apparently spiders don't like if you burn peppermint oil in a burner. So they don't go anywhere near a room with it burning.

Oh that might be why one of my resident spiders is fascinating in one of the downstairs Loos

KERSPLAT!

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Ah.

I think......



(That'll be the school day option then)

http://www.naturespot.org.uk/species/black-clock-beetle

byte

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

[CSI]His time... had ran out YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [/CSI]

*grabs geansai*

Stheno

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

http://www.naturespot.org.uk/species/black-clock-beetle

That was in your bed???? :eek:

KERSPLAT!

Stheno wrote: »

That was in your bed???? :eek:

Jaysus no!

TBM had to fight one off, I was just linking the poster to it

Zaph

Bought one of these a couple of years ago. Best tenner I ever spent, although next door must have an awful problem with spiders considering the amount that get chucked over their wall. :pac:

HeidiHeidi

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

http://www.naturespot.org.uk/species/black-clock-beetle

Nope, not opening that, sorry!

Thanks and all......

Akrasia

My wife is theoretically not afraid of spiders.

Samaris

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Nope, not opening that, sorry!

Thanks and all......

I can promise it's safe enough, it's quite a nice beetle

I was dozily afraid it was going to be a huge spider and was ready to click out of it quickly though.

Although I was recently for reasons that make perfect sense in context, making a spider out of fimo clay for my partner, and was having trouble with the face. So I had multiple images of close-up spider heads on my screen, managing to mildly freak myself out every time I was looking for a reference point.

Akrasia

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Nope, not opening that, sorry!

Thanks and all......

It's just one typo away from divorce proceedings if it should be found in the wrong bed

Stheno

We have a bearded dragon and my oh prefers to feed it live locusts rather than crickets.

Those fecker's regularly escape giving me the creeps

The Backwards Man

I have crickets come inside in the turf bucket sometimes, amazing that something so wee can make so much noise, they never have accidents though, always make it outside again.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Mice are the worst. I lose my sh1t like a sh1t collector with amnesia this time of year with mice. Mice are the worst of all invaders.

Stheno

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I have crickets come inside in the turf bucket sometimes, amazing that something so wee can make so much noise, they never have accidents though, always make it outside again.

Noisey feckers cheep cheep all day long

Thankfully dragon eats them

The Backwards Man

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Mice are the worst. I lose my sh1t like a sh1t collector with amnesia this time of year with mice. Mice are the worst of all invaders.

Had a wee harvest mouse in the house a few weeks ago, lovely wee things, he was luckier than Kylie Lucky missed him. Common mice are bastards though.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I pick them up in tissue paper and throw them out the window. Just can't bring myself to flush them down the toilet anymore.

gctest50

few of these to keep field mice away, be grand :

Hammer89

hairyslug wrote: »

On average, per year while asleep, 8 spiders will crawl on you and wave their willies in your face, that's a fact you can take to the bank

This happened me but I thought they were only trying to make me jealous of them