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Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Is it that time of year already...

  • 26-09-2016 11:02PM
    #1
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭


    Up early tomorrow so I got myself to bed early. Lying in bed having a quick flick of boards before heading off to sleep.

    I feel something on my neck, must be the duvet I says to myself. I move the duvet and have a scratch. Feel something on my wrist, turn the light from my phone screen towards it and there he is, little 8 legged bollox.

    I've no petrol to burn the house down so I got a pint glass, trapped the little bugger and fired him out the window.

    Is that it now, are our 8 legged friends about to invade? I don't mind them around the house but I prefer a nice blonde on the pillow beside me truth be told.

    Anyway, no sleep for me -_-


«13

Comments

  • #2
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    It's mating season.
    They are harmless.
    Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
    Problem sorted.


  • #3
    Sweetemotion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,564 ✭✭✭Sweetemotion


    Go, buy some petrol.


  • #4
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    It's mating season.
    They are harmless.
    Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
    Problem sorted.

    My bed is strictly for me to mate in.


  • #5
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    It's mating season.
    They are harmless.
    Put In a cup or pint glass and leave outside.
    Problem sorted.

    No....they must be crushed with newspaper


  • #6
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    My bed is strictly for me to mate in.

    Haha yeah right.


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  • #7
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:


  • #8
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Thought this might be of interest:

    http://www.rte.ie/news/2016/0922/818448-spiders/


  • #9
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,257 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    GIANT SEX SPIDERS ARE INVADING YOUR BED TONIGHT

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • #10
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Summer wind wrote: »
    Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

    Knock on the door first. It's mating season apparently!


  • #11
    Del2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,162 ✭✭✭✭Del2005


    Summer wind wrote: »
    Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

    Check for 8 socks on the door.


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  • #12
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    Yeah I'm in bed too and I'm blonde and have only two legs. Don't fancy some critter all over me when I'm asleep.


  • #13
    hairyslug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,561 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    On average, per year while asleep, 8 spiders will crawl on you and wave their willies in your face, that's a fact you can take to the bank


  • #14
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Knock on the he door first. It's mating season apparently!

    One of the local tomcats took up residence in my bed today :eek:

    I like having spiders about, but not that bastard cat, he arrived in one morning I was having a lie in, jumped on the bed and nearly gave me heart failure


  • #15
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

    Bastard.


  • #16
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

    Bastard.

    Make sure you get rent, he's there to stay!


  • #17
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    Summer wind wrote: »
    Just off to bed now. Sooooooo wishing I'd never opened this thread:eek:

    Once you've opened and read this thread...it starts..

    As you sleep, the screen on your phone will activate. A dark grey shimmer. Slowly, and carefully, legs emerge from the screen, then a large hairy body. Then another set of legs and body, then another and another....
    Slowly they make their way to your bed, they crawl into your ears and lay eggs. Then leave the way they came. The eggs grow, then hatch, and the small hungry critters, eat you alive from the inside. All because you read this thread.


  • #18
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    I was full sure from the title and the first sentence of the OP, that this was going to be a thread about fireworks going off and Halloween... :P


  • #19
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    Just before ye sleep...











    I woke up one day and thought what if a spider burrowed up my nose and nested in my sinus passages?
    Freaked me out all day.


  • #20
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Make sure you get rent, he's there to stay!

    He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.


  • #21
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.

    There's a sequel in this. Clocks 2: Time is ticking

    Gimme 10 minutes, I can do better!!


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  • #22
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    I was full sure from the title and the first sentence of the OP, that this was going to be a thread about fireworks going off and Halloween... :P

    I was full sure it would be righteous indignation about some shop having Christmas sections open.

    At least we don't have that parasite that slithers up your penis and does all sorts of damage here.


  • #23
    byte
    Moderators, Regional North West Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 19,247 Mod ✭✭✭✭byte
    byte


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    He accidentally tripped and fell onto the shovel I was using to sweep up the dust in front of the stove, poor fcuker.
    RIP :(


  • #24
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 33,615 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I was lying in front of the fire earlier and this massive clock the size of your fist waltzed across the living room floor like he owned the place.

    Bastard.

    Clock :confused:

    Typo? Autocorrect? My new word for the day (every day being a school day and all that)?


  • #25
    hairyslug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,561 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    byte wrote: »
    RIP :(

    He's with the angles now


  • #26
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    byte wrote: »
    RIP :(

    It was him or me.


  • #27
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    HeidiHeidi wrote: »
    Clock :confused:

    Typo? Autocorrect? My new word for the day (every day being a school day and all that)?

    Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George


  • #28
    ongarite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,920 ✭✭✭ongarite


    careful you don't swallow him in bed tonight or maybe your into that kind of thing..


  • #29
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 33,615 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

    Ah.

    I think......

    :confused:

    (That'll be the school day option then)


  • #30
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Clock as in Ringo, Paul, John and George

    Euwwwww those feckers need squashing.

    Now my spider in the downstairs lol who eats the random insects?

    Most welcome


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  • #31
    The Raptor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,433 ✭✭✭The Raptor


    Apparently spiders don't like if you burn peppermint oil in a burner. So they don't go anywhere near a room with it burning.


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