Can anyone out there give me some advice about a long distance relationship?

Cina

France?

Psch, amateurs. I was in one for a year and a half with a girl from California whom I met whilst over on work there for two months.

We went on some great holidays but ultimately t'was impossible. Neither of us could get a visa for the other country either.

So, yeah, moral of the story, don't do long distance relationships.

dreoilin

My current 3 and a half year relationship started out as long distance! Now, it was within Ireland, but still. My last relationship was also LD but that (obviously) didn't work out. I don't think they work unless you want them to, which sounds like a really vague thing to say, but it's not gonna work if everything from how you feel about the person to the effort you put in is mediocre.

Wibbs

dreoilin wrote: »

My current 3 and a half year relationship started out as long distance! Now, it was within Ireland, but still.

but nothing D, same country, culture, language etc is quite a bit different.

Wibbs

Widdershins wrote: »

That does make sense but to be honest to look at either of them, you wouldn't think they'd be short of choices, in terms of partners.

I dunno about the chap in question but divorced mother of two narrows the net considerably.

And the hassle involved in travelling 10,000 miles away from your children/work is significant. So I don't see why younger people couldn't overcome obstacles if they have more flexibility.

Sure, but again the younger are more likely to have more options and let's face it likely to be more impatient.

The will is clearly there on the OP's part at least.

They're together six months Widd. And that's long distance, so lop a fair chunk of months off that. At that early stage willie is more in play than will. If they're still working at 18 months then it's another story. LOve's young dream is fantastic when you're in it, but if the OP wants actual advice rather than platitudes...

*I've had three LD relationships. All went past the couple of years mark.

HensVassal

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

Its defiantly something I would consider. Not move in directly to her house but get a job somewhere in the region. Only thing is that I can't speak French very well :c

it would help if we knew what you can do (work wise).
French is an easy language to pick up. You're on the scratch right now so put your time to good use and brush on the old francaise, my saaan. Mange tout, Rodders, bonnet de douche. Join some French expat group on meetup.com. Could you get a job pulling pints in the Irish pub near where she lives?
Are you any good with computers? Maybe contract work in Ireland doing tech support for 6 months on and off?

riffmongous

HensVassal wrote: »

it would help if we knew what you can do (work wise).
French is an easy language to pick up. You're on the scratch right now so put your time to good use and brush on the old francaise, my saaan. Mange tout, Rodders, bonnet de douche. Join some French expat group on meetup.com. Could you get a job pulling pints in the Irish pub near where she lives?
Are you any good with computers? Maybe contract work in Ireland doing tech support for 6 months on and off?

Yeah this is actually a decent option, I did it myself. And if you are out of a job at the moment now is the time to go for it. If it works, it works, if it doesn't well at least you'll have got an interesting experience out of it, and you might even stay on (I did), the heartache you would have gotten regardless.

Galwayguy35

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

No we've agreed we will move close to each other one day. (In about 1 year and 9 months to be exact)

That's a very precise timeline, so who's going to do the moving?

When I started reading the thread I though maybe you were going to say ye lived on opposite sides of the country, not in different countries.

Mr. FoggPatches

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

No we've agreed we will move close to each other one day. (In about 1 year and 9 months to be exact)

She's letting you know that she's mad for a babby a year in advance which is nice of her.

RiskiiDingo

mcgiggles wrote: »

A girl I worked with when I was in Canada decided to go to Paris for the summer, worked in a cafe, met a guy, fell in love. She decided to move there permanently. Fast forward a few years later, they are now married and living the "happily ever after". If you have no ties to a job in Ireland whats the harm in trying?The french will come. Its easier to learn a language when you want to than when you have to

I like this post. The people around me are being very negative about the situation but I have no ties here at all. I could live a nice life in France for sure. One day...

RiskiiDingo

HensVassal wrote: »

it would help if we knew what you can do (work wise).
French is an easy language to pick up. You're on the scratch right now so put your time to good use and brush on the old francaise, my saaan. Mange tout, Rodders, bonnet de douche. Join some French expat group on meetup.com. Could you get a job pulling pints in the Irish pub near where she lives?
Are you any good with computers? Maybe contract work in Ireland doing tech support for 6 months on and off?

I have a ton of work experience! (Well that's actually the first time I've ever thought that but I've come to the point were its true to say now.)

I've worked retail in an assistant manager role for a big brand. I've worked in a call center (never again), I've worked in pubs and in my spare time I'm a bit of a painter/handyman. Oh and I used to work in a bar. I would love to work in an Irish pub over there but it seems they have a lot of applicants and I would say they would want my french to be better unfortunately...

Edit: I'm a semi-qualified programmer too... Did some kind of government scheme, nothing amazing but I'm handy enough on computers.

RiskiiDingo

riffmongous wrote: »

Yeah this is actually a decent option, I did it myself. And if you are out of a job at the moment now is the time to go for it. If it works, it works, if it doesn't well at least you'll have got an interesting experience out of it, and you might even stay on (I did), the heartache you would have gotten regardless.

Yes I'm going to go for this no matter what happens. I'm far to invested to just quit now. We're going to travel Europe next summer and I'm not missing that

RiskiiDingo

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

That's a very precise timeline, so who's going to do the moving?

When I started reading the thread I though maybe you were going to say ye lived on opposite sides of the country, not in different countries.

I'll be moving but she's up for moving too. So maybe Canada or something with a bit more opportunity then Clonmel.

RiskiiDingo

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

She's letting you know that she's mad for a babby a year in advance which is nice of her.

Hahaha I don't think we're that kind of couple. Still a little young :P

RiskiiDingo

Thanks so much for the input so far. None of it's going on deaf ear's guys. If I commit to this relationship it will surely alter the course of my life in a big way and this advice is very helpful

fryup

most important question..

have you done jiggy jiggy yet??

bgr123

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

Hey guys. I was looking for a bit of advice about a long distance relationship.

Can any of you out there share your experiences about the subject with me? Especially advice if you are IN a long distance relationship and how you are making it work.

I've been with my girlfriend now for 6 months. Shes been here to see me and I've been to France to see her too and things are unbelievable when we're together. Lately though I'm struggling to find a good work-visit balance (I left my job to visit her in France for 2 months over the summer and I'm looking for a new job). Can anyone out there tell me what works and what doesn't.

Any advice on this topic will be greatly appreciated and will be of GREAT value to me

Had one with a really nice girl but needed more.We agreed to finish it but still miss her till this day.thats life.