Oversleeping problems

thepikminman

Hi,

For about 5 years now I have been oversleeping. I am 22, in college, but repeated a year and took a year out because of poor attendance which led to poor results.

I have been sleeping for I'd say 12 hours per day average for the past 5 years (such a waste of youth, I know). This has ruined most aspects of my life (no social life, poor social skills, poor health, no routine, poor study).

I may have narcolepsy, but I really don't think I do, I was tested for it and they found nothing.

The thing is, I always tell myself "Today I will not sleep during the day, and will stay awake for 16 hours", but the oversleeping in the past years led to a pretty boring, uneventful life, so when I get tired and I'm here in my room by myself with nothing to do and no urge to do anything, I always convince myself to go to bed (I don't have the strongest willpower).

Can anyone give me some advice on how to fix this horrible problem? I know that I shouldn't sleep, but I'm looking for advice on what I can do to keep my mind too busy to think about sleeping. "Get out of the house, go to the gym" - I know, but what am I supposed to do for 16 hours?
Yes I could leave the house for a few hours, but I have to come back eventually, and when I do, my bed is there staring at me.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Gremlinertia

Hmm. Not sure what to say really, i would go back to your gp just for a good chat as it could be many things or not a thing. If you would like this thread moved to somewhere like Personal Issues for a different perspective let me know..

thepikminman

Thanks for the reply, yeah I've been to the GP a good few times and all they say is to stop sleeping....one GP said I was depressed which I didn't think I was, I thought I was in a bad situation and was rightly unhappy, but I took his advice and went on anti-depressants for 8 months which did absolutely nothing so I went off them.
Yes could you move it to personal issues? Hopefully that'll get more replies.

Gremlinertia

Thread moved at OP request

miezekatze

Are you actually tired when you go to bed or do you just go to sleep because you're bored and don't have anything better to do? Do you have some kind of a routine in your life?

irishkopite 2011

Seriously just stop sleeping durning the day, it's not rocket science, doctors have told you this. For things to do durning the day that's up to you: get a job, get into cycling or golf and don't sleep when you get home. Go to bed at 11pm and set an alarm for 8.30am everyday.

GritBiscuit

Obviously first thing is to get a clean bill of health from your GP.

If you get that then I think you are best tacking the following....

thepikminman wrote: »

......I'm here in my room by myself with nothing to do and no urge to do anything.

Get some hobbies, make new friends, hit the gym, draw up a realistic bucket list and get crossing them off.
Get a good alarm and set it up at the opposite side of the room from you. Get into the habit of getting up when it goes off and jumping in the shower, grabbing breakfast and getting going. Body clocks are largely a matter of habit. Maybe you need to make a concerted effort to change yours?
All the best

Ursus Horribilis

It looks like you're a victim of bad habits and boredom. There are people out there - and I include myself in their number - who'd sleep for Ireland if given the chance. I discovered a long time ago that if I lie down on a bed at any time of the day, I will get drowsy and fall asleep. I don't even need to be tired. There's something in my wiring that allows me to do this.

I don't consider it to be a problem because I just don't ever lie down on beds before bed-time. It also helps that I'm not bored out of my tree and have plenty of other things to be going on with during the daytime. Perhaps if my days were long and empty like yours, it'd be another story entirely.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that doctor's theory that you're depressed. You're quick to point your finger at something like narcolepsy because it's an easy answer to your problems. Being depressed means that you'd have to deal with much tougher issues such as your poor social skills, lack of a social life and your inability to concentrate and keep order in your life. It's a chicken and egg thing. Which came first? The oversleeping problem or the other issues? Anti-depressants by themselves aren't a magic bullet. Unless you had a motivation to make changes in your life they were unlikely to do much for you.

It's not doing you any good that in your year out, you appear to be very bored and unsure of how to fill the hours in the day. No wonder you've turned to sleep as a way to while away the hours. Also, if you are oversleeping you probably don't feel too great which isn't helping you either. Really, what you need to do is find ways to fill your days and fix your other problems. Get a job or do some volunteering. Or do something to get yourself out of the house every day and keep yourself occupied.

368100

Op, I would suffer from this at time to time and did the whole way through my 20's.

I could sleep for up to 20 hours out of a day which affected work etc with being off sick,

I didn't get checked out but I suspect it had something to do with depression.

Now I'm in my 30's and I'm very active, exercise regularly and watch what I eat. This solved it for me. Once I keep doing the above I sleep a normal 7/8 hours and feel much better about myself.

You don't mention how active you are but I would give it a go if you're not exercising regularly.

Turtle_

Have you had a full range of blood tests done to check for things like your iron & B12 levels and thyroid function?

thepikminman

miezekatze wrote: »

Are you actually tired when you go to bed or do you just go to sleep because you're bored and don't have anything better to do? Do you have some kind of a routine in your life?

I sleep because I have nothing else to do. Sometimes I'm tired, but most of the time it's because of boredom.

irishkopite 2011 wrote: »

Seriously just stop sleeping durning the day, it's not rocket science, doctors have told you this. For things to do durning the day that's up to you: get a job, get into cycling or golf and don't sleep when you get home. Go to bed at 11pm and set an alarm for 8.30am everyday.

I said in my OP, it's not that simple for me.

GritBiscuit wrote: »

Obviously first thing is to get a clean bill of health from your GP.

If you get that then I think you are best tacking the following....



Get some hobbies, make new friends, hit the gym, draw up a realistic bucket list and get crossing them off.
Get a good alarm and set it up at the opposite side of the room from you. Get into the habit of getting up when it goes off and jumping in the shower, grabbing breakfast and getting going. Body clocks are largely a matter of habit. Maybe you need to make a concerted effort to change yours?
All the best

I find it hard to make friends because I have bad social anxiety, and am just so messed up socially, can't make eye contact, always give people the wrong impression. No friends leads to boredom, which leads to sleep. Yeah my body clock is definitely messed up. I go to the gym but that really drains my energy.

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

It looks like you're a victim of bad habits and boredom. There are people out there - and I include myself in their number - who'd sleep for Ireland if given the chance. I discovered a long time ago that if I lie down on a bed at any time of the day, I will get drowsy and fall asleep. I don't even need to be tired. There's something in my wiring that allows me to do this.

I don't consider it to be a problem because I just don't ever lie down on beds before bed-time. It also helps that I'm not bored out of my tree and have plenty of other things to be going on with during the daytime. Perhaps if my days were long and empty like yours, it'd be another story entirely.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that doctor's theory that you're depressed. You're quick to point your finger at something like narcolepsy because it's an easy answer to your problems. Being depressed means that you'd have to deal with much tougher issues such as your poor social skills, lack of a social life and your inability to concentrate and keep order in your life. It's a chicken and egg thing. Which came first? The oversleeping problem or the other issues? Anti-depressants by themselves aren't a magic bullet. Unless you had a motivation to make changes in your life they were unlikely to do much for you.

It's not doing you any good that in your year out, you appear to be very bored and unsure of how to fill the hours in the day. No wonder you've turned to sleep as a way to while away the hours. Also, if you are oversleeping you probably don't feel too great which isn't helping you either. Really, what you need to do is find ways to fill your days and fix your other problems. Get a job or do some volunteering. Or do something to get yourself out of the house every day and keep yourself occupied.

I know I'm not depressed, my brother is also a doctor (graduate) and he knows me more than anyone and says I'm not depressed. Is it not possible that people can just be in bad situations and rightly sad, not "depressed". I'm sure all the millions of starving people in the world are pretty sad, but that doesn't mean they're depressed.

Also, I'm in a full-time course - 3rd year mechanical engineering in NUIG. That definitely should get me out of bed, but it doesn't.

CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME SPECIFIC IDEAS ON WHAT TO DO (not shouting lol trying to make it stand out)

I know I shouldn't sleep, but the fact for my life is that if I'm in my room, I will go asleep. Can you guys just assume I have an illness that makes me fall asleep when I'm near my bed and tell me what to do? I also feel pretty tired most of the day, if I leave the house, within a few hours I fall asleep wherever I am (buses, lecture halls etc)

THANKS FOR ALL THE RESPONSES!

thepikminman

368100 wrote: »

Op, I would suffer from this at time to time and did the whole way through my 20's.

I could sleep for up to 20 hours out of a day which affected work etc with being off sick,

I didn't get checked out but I suspect it had something to do with depression.

Now I'm in my 30's and I'm very active, exercise regularly and watch what I eat. This solved it for me. Once I keep doing the above I sleep a normal 7/8 hours and feel much better about myself.

You don't mention how active you are but I would give it a go if you're not exercising regularly.

No I actually go to the gym for an hour 5 times a week, but that's for the weight section not cardio. I also eat pretty healthily.

thepikminman

Turtle_ wrote: »

Have you had a full range of blood tests done to check for things like your iron & B12 levels and thyroid function?

Yeah my blood are fine, I got them checked last week ...

368100

Practical suggestion....try a low carb diet. You need to stick at it for a few weeks but I found once I got past that, I had loads of energy and no sluggishness

thepikminman

368100 wrote: »

Practical suggestion....try a low carb diet. You need to stick at it for a few weeks but I found once I got past that, I had loads of energy and no sluggishness

Thanks I'll try that!

SATSUMA

For what it's worth I think you shold go talk to a counsellor about your anxiety issues. I think you may then look at your over sleeping in a different way. Find one you like and commit to the process.

Best of luck x

thepikminman

SATSUMA wrote: »

For what it's worth I think you shold go talk to a counsellor about your anxiety issues. I think you may then look at your over sleeping in a different way. Find one you like and commit to the process.

Best of luck x

Thank you for your advice, but I've been to 7 different counselors over the past few years and they all just say the same thing- "Stop sleeping".

368100

thepikminman wrote: »

Thanks I'll try that!

Let us know how you get on, good luck!

Turtle_

thepikminman wrote: »

Thank you for your advice, but I've been to 7 different counselors over the past few years and they all just say the same thing- "Stop sleeping".

Sounds like they aren't great

I asked about blood tests because something like low B12 would lead to exactly that kind of oversleeping.

There are two things that jump out from your post though, engineering degree and anxiety. Either one of those are exhausting on their own. Combine them and it's no wonder you're asleep so much. The good news is that college is finite, you'll get there, and that anxiety is really responsive to CBT. Anxiety uses up so much of your physical and mental energy, so improving that would probably make it easier to improve the sleep issue. If you can, true to get access to some CBT as opposed to another form of counselling. My experience of CBT was that they fixed the anxiety and the sleep then sorted itself out, but other counselors wanted me to sort my sleep out as a way of sorting out the anxiety.

Sound Bite

I think you might have answered your own question in an earlier post.

You say you suffer from anxiety. Most people who do find it exhausting. Anyone I know suffering from it is either exhausted & oversleeping like you or cannot sleep at all.

You could try counselling again but focus on the anxiety as well as the oversleeping.

zoeybelle

While on the surface it does sound like depression/anxiety/stress it could also be a variety of disorders not diagnosed by doctors for example Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I'm not saying you have that however what i am saying (from experience) is only you know if something is wrong with your health and if you feel it isn't a mental health issue than write a list of any medical issues (however small) and do your own rescearch. If you find anything that sounds familiar then find someone (medical professional) in that field who can confirm or deny it. This might take a few tries to get someone to take you seriously but if u find something (or more than one some are very similar) you think fits you then keep at it till you get an answer u trust. I got fobbed off by so many "professionals" it was all in my head it's stress go for a walk you hysterical woman etc that I never fully trust any of them now. It's your body your life your health it's up to you to chase answers. All the best i hope you find some☺

thepikminman

Turtle_ wrote: »

Sounds like they aren't great

I asked about blood tests because something like low B12 would lead to exactly that kind of oversleeping.

There are two things that jump out from your post though, engineering degree and anxiety. Either one of those are exhausting on their own. Combine them and it's no wonder you're asleep so much. The good news is that college is finite, you'll get there, and that anxiety is really responsive to CBT. Anxiety uses up so much of your physical and mental energy, so improving that would probably make it easier to improve the sleep issue. If you can, true to get access to some CBT as opposed to another form of counselling. My experience of CBT was that they fixed the anxiety and the sleep then sorted itself out, but other counselors wanted me to sort my sleep out as a way of sorting out the anxiety.

You're so right about anxiety using up so much mental and physical energy.
I never thought of it that way, i just saw it as an unfortunate fact in my life, but that could be the root of all my problems, including the sleeping.

I tried CBT for 2 sessions before, it was okay, much better than any counselor I saw, but it was kind of pricey so I had to stop. I still don't think it would have done much for me though.

thepikminman

zoeybelle wrote: »

While on the surface it does sound like depression/anxiety/stress it could also be a variety of disorders not diagnosed by doctors for example Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I'm not saying you have that however what i am saying (from experience) is only you know if something is wrong with your health and if you feel it isn't a mental health issue than write a list of any medical issues (however small) and do your own rescearch. If you find anything that sounds familiar then find someone (medical professional) in that field who can confirm or deny it. This might take a few tries to get someone to take you seriously but if u find something (or more than one some are very similar) you think fits you then keep at it till you get an answer u trust. I got fobbed off by so many "professionals" it was all in my head it's stress go for a walk you hysterical woman etc that I never fully trust any of them now. It's your body your life your health it's up to you to chase answers. All the best i hope you find some☺

Thanks for the reply. I suppose I'm lucky in a way because my older brother is a doctor. I ask him all the time "do you think I have x, y, z wrong with me?" and he always says no, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac. He knows me quite well and believes that there's nothing physically/mentally wrong with me, and that I'm just in a unfortunate situation, and need to just relax in general.

Esel

thepikminman wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I suppose I'm lucky in a way because my older brother is a doctor. I ask him all the time "do you think I have x, y, z wrong with me?" and he always says no, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac. He knows me quite well and believes that there's nothing physically/mentally wrong with me, and that I'm just in a unfortunate situation, and need to just relax in general.

A bit too close to "Physician, heal thyself", maybe? Your brother is too close to you to be objective. His opinion, and his advice, does not seem to be helping you.

IANAD, but I think your sleeping issue is caused by your anxiety issue. If you were not anxious would you be in your room close to the bed? One can fall into a routine (way of behaving) as easily as one can fall into the bed.

As an engineer you know that you have to get to the root cause. Identify the source of the problem, and fix that. It will take work, and time, but you can do it.

Flippyfloppy

I'm not trying to be smart, but don't hang out in your bedroom! I used to be the exact same as you when I lived at home in my parents. Whether there is an underlying cause I do not know, but if I tried to hang out in my bedroom again I'd be the same all over. I'd sleep for hours, I can shut off so quickly. Trying to 'study' in my bedroom always led to a marathon sleeping session, that just felt sooooo good.

It's recommended not to study in bedrooms (for this reason) and to just use bedrooms for sleeping anyway. Try to keep relatively active during the day too , sitting around can make you sleepy, and try not to focus on it too much either. Attempt to forget about NOT SLEEPING and plan a few days doing chores, cooking, heading off into town during your peek nap times, try to get your schedule right, maybe a earlier bedtime to begin with. I hope this helps somewhat because I know how frustrating it can feel wasting your day with sleeping. (Even though there are now claims that a short nap can boost productivity and health)

linpoo

Hi, did you ever get your melatonin levels checked. The pineal gland is responsible for your body's "night and day" rythyms and a lack of melatonin can affect this.

I'm not a doctor but studied reflexology where we learnt this.

On another note, reflexology is great for helping the body to balance itself which could help your situation. Worth a try.

zoobizoo

Hey Op, I've been there but not as bad as you.

I would need to nap at lunchtime in my car to get through the day.

It's boredom mainly.

On the days that I was doing something fun or exciting, I could get out of bed early, get on things, get through the day without being tired and be buzzing til late evening.

Is the engineering something you really want to do?

Were you like this in school?

Jerome77

Volunteer, be there for someone else regardless of how you feel. That will lift your spirits

Scarinae

OP, what do you enjoy doing, hobbies etc? What would you do for fun?

thepikminman

Esel wrote: »

IANAD, but I think your sleeping issue is caused by your anxiety issue. If you were not anxious would you be in your room close to the bed? One can fall into a routine (way of behaving) as easily as one can fall into the bed.

As an engineer you know that you have to get to the root cause. Identify the source of the problem, and fix that. It will take work, and time, but you can do it.

Wow, that's actually so true, I never thought of that being the reason.
I wouldn't be stuck here if I wasn't so anxious. The world outside seems like a pain-filled struggle.

So I probably should've posted a topic on how to help anxiety.... The strange this is, I honestly don't care what people think, but my body seems to disagree with my mind when it comes into practice in real social situations - I can't help but get nervous and make a fool of myself, and become extremely self conscious and overthink way too much. Any tips on how to stop this, keeping in mind that I don't care what people think about me? Also,
I have a strong fear of rejection, that could be the cause of the whole problem.

thepikminman

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

I'm not trying to be smart, but don't hang out in your bedroom! I used to be the exact same as you when I lived at home in my parents. Whether there is an underlying cause I do not know, but if I tried to hang out in my bedroom again I'd be the same all over. I'd sleep for hours, I can shut off so quickly. Trying to 'study' in my bedroom always led to a marathon sleeping session, that just felt sooooo good.

It's recommended not to study in bedrooms (for this reason) and to just use bedrooms for sleeping anyway. Try to keep relatively active during the day too , sitting around can make you sleepy, and try not to focus on it too much either. Attempt to forget about NOT SLEEPING and plan a few days doing chores, cooking, heading off into town during your peek nap times, try to get your schedule right, maybe a earlier bedtime to begin with. I hope this helps somewhat because I know how frustrating it can feel wasting your day with sleeping. (Even though there are now claims that a short nap can boost productivity and health)

Yeah, being here all the time does make sleeping during the day inevitable. But I find it very difficult to fill all 16 hours, especially with virtually no social life.

For example, if I was really trying to fix my sleeping routine, I'd get up at say 8am, have breakfast and a shower and leave for college, that'll fill the time until around 4 or 5pm. Then maybe I'd go to the gym to fill more time, maybe go to a sports club for an hour, but I'd be back home at 9pm at the latest, and after such an energy-draining day, I can't think of what else I could do for the next 3/4 hours.

The times I did stick to this plan, I always go asleep when I get home because there's nothing more to do and I'm exhausted, but have only been awake for 12/13 hours.

thepikminman

linpoo wrote: »

Hi, did you ever get your melatonin levels checked. The pineal gland is responsible for your body's "night and day" rythyms and a lack of melatonin can affect this.

I'm not a doctor but studied reflexology where we learnt this.

On another note, reflexology is great for helping the body to balance itself which could help your situation. Worth a try.

Thanks I'll look into both of those things!

thepikminman

zoobizoo wrote: »

Hey Op, I've been there but not as bad as you.

I would need to nap at lunchtime in my car to get through the day.

It's boredom mainly.

On the days that I was doing something fun or exciting, I could get out of bed early, get on things, get through the day without being tired and be buzzing til late evening.

Is the engineering something you really want to do?

Were you like this in school?

Hi, thanks for the response. I was like this since around 4th year in secondary school. I missed near 200 days of the leaving cert. because of it.

Yeah, engineering has always been my ideal job to have. I feel like I was born to be an engineer, and I always remind myself how lucky I am to have the chance to do the thing I want to do most in the world. Music is also a thing I would love to do, like start a band in college, but unfortunately, that needs some social skill/too be in some social circle.

thepikminman

Jerome77 wrote: »

Volunteer, be there for someone else regardless of how you feel. That will lift your spirits

It's pretty hard to volunteer when I have a full-time course to do. But I did try multiple times to volunteer during summer, but the process they make you go through is amazingly difficult. You have to get a Gardai statement or something like that, along with other stuff. You'd think they'd make it easy to volunteer seeing as they need the help, but they treat the position like a job, like they're doing me a favour.

thepikminman

Scarinae wrote: »

OP, what do you enjoy doing, hobbies etc? What would you do for fun?

I like music, writing, guitar, gaming.... usually not much like what most be enjoy doing though.

Loveinapril

thepikminman wrote: »

It's pretty hard to volunteer when I have a full-time course to do. But I did try multiple times to volunteer during summer, but the process they make you go through is amazingly difficult. You have to get a Gardai statement or something like that, along with other stuff. You'd think they'd make it easy to volunteer seeing as they need the help, but they treat the position like a job, like they're doing me a favour.

You wrote the post to say you sleep too much. You could easily spend that time, even a half day at the weekend volunteering.

You- "I sleep because I am bored with nothing to do"
Advice- "Fill your time doing other things"
You- "I can't, I am too busy"


You sound pretty defeatist. You are shooting a lot of suggestions down or giving reasons why you think it won't work. YOU are doing this to yourself. You are putting blocks in your own way. A 'garda statement' is essentially one form you fill out with all your addresses so the company can check your criminal record. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it sound. Getting out and meeting people in a new environment would help you so volunteering WOULD be doing you a favour!

batmanrobin

The one thing that stood out for me is your attitude. As another poster said it's quite defeatist, not to mention dismissive. You don't seem to want to really try, what seems to come across is that you don't want to have to actually do anything to fix it, you just want it fix right now. Snap your fingers and it's sorted.

You expect to be approved for volunteering straight away. If your volunteering would have you working with animals and vulnerable people then of course you would have to be vetted. Vetting takes times, it's a process like anything else.

I would strongly encourage you to go back to CBT and give it a proper go. Hell even try something like yoga which can be very calming (and cheaper).

There are no quick fixes. Everything takes time. Everything has a process. If it's not showing results fast enough you seem too quick to give up. Doesn't it take something like 6 months for your brain and body to be conditioned to a new way of thinking and being?

Change your diet. Opt for healthy, clean, green foods. Blend them into a smoothie if you can't physically stand eating them.

You gave an example of being out all day and coming home say at 9 and being tired. Honestly OP that it normal! It's a long day to be out and active. The vast majority of people I know are in bed at about 9:30/10:00. Maybe they'll read or watch something for a little while but for a lot of them it's lights out. Granted we're all in our 30s, but for most people a long day means an early night.

Also, I'd say stop going to your brother. You'd be better off with independent advice.

zoobizoo

Buy a book called The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Robert Burns.

It's a practical guide that should help you with some of your social issues.

Are your parents in a position to help pay for therapy?

Sleeping can be an avoidance strategy....

thepikminman

thepikminman wrote: »

For example, if I was really trying to fix my sleeping routine, I'd get up at say 8am, have breakfast and a shower and leave for college, that'll fill the time until around 4 or 5pm. Then maybe I'd go to the gym to fill more time, maybe go to a sports club for an hour, but I'd be back home at 9pm at the latest, and after such an energy-draining day, I can't think of what else I could do for the next 3/4 hours.

When you are back at 9 would you not cook dinner that would kill at least 30 mins or most likely longer between cooking and eating. Then sit down and watch some tv shows, once you are hooked on one you won't be able to stop watching or read/watch the news or follow sports if you are into anyway. Once it gets to 11pm or so that's a perfectly reasonable to head to bed and sleep.

9 is realitavely late to be getting back every evening so you could cook for longer, watch more tv etc to get you through the evening.

thepikminman

Loveinapril wrote: »

You wrote the post to say you sleep too much. You could easily spend that time, even a half day at the weekend volunteering.

You- "I sleep because I am bored with nothing to do"
Advice- "Fill your time doing other things"
You- "I can't, I am too busy"


You sound pretty defeatist. You are shooting a lot of suggestions down or giving reasons why you think it won't work. YOU are doing this to yourself. You are putting blocks in your own way. A 'garda statement' is essentially one form you fill out with all your addresses so the company can check your criminal record. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it sound. Getting out and meeting people in a new environment would help you so volunteering WOULD be doing you a favour!

If you said walk to the shop, or do some one hour activity that would be fine, but doing volunteer work on top of a (third year) engineering degree is too much altogether, especially seeing as I can't do the degree by itself.

But yeah, I do actually shoot a lot of things down, but that's because I used to try so many new things, and they usually ended up being a waste of time and having a negative impact on my social skills/confidence.

thepikminman

batmanrobin wrote: »

The one thing that stood out for me is your attitude. As another poster said it's quite defeatist, not to mention dismissive. You don't seem to want to really try, what seems to come across is that you don't want to have to actually do anything to fix it, you just want it fix right now. Snap your fingers and it's sorted.

You expect to be approved for volunteering straight away. If your volunteering would have you working with animals and vulnerable people then of course you would have to be vetted. Vetting takes times, it's a process like anything else.

I would strongly encourage you to go back to CBT and give it a proper go. Hell even try something like yoga which can be very calming (and cheaper).

There are no quick fixes. Everything takes time. Everything has a process. If it's not showing results fast enough you seem too quick to give up. Doesn't it take something like 6 months for your brain and body to be conditioned to a new way of thinking and being?

Change your diet. Opt for healthy, clean, green foods. Blend them into a smoothie if you can't physically stand eating them.

You gave an example of being out all day and coming home say at 9 and being tired. Honestly OP that it normal! It's a long day to be out and active. The vast majority of people I know are in bed at about 9:30/10:00. Maybe they'll read or watch something for a little while but for a lot of them it's lights out. Granted we're all in our 30s, but for most people a long day means an early night.

Also, I'd say stop going to your brother. You'd be better off with independent advice.

I don't expect an immediate result, but I tried for months, fixed my diet, exercised regularly, tried to socialize, went to most lectures, but got no results.

If people go to bed at 9 or 10 then they definitely have some sleep problem too because sleeping 11 hours in NOT normal. I'm guessing the people you are talking about are the people who wake up at six, but if I woke up at six, I'd be asleep by 6 or 7pm, which isn't normal.

So you're saying I'm just unlucky that I have all these horrible problems, and that I have to go through horrible times and effort to fix this, for months? And that's not even definite. [mod snip. In light of this update we have to now close this thread and instead direct you to the resources here.]

thepikminman

It's good to know there are some decent people out there at least. Thanks for the efforts guys!

Loveinapril

thepikminman wrote: »

If you said walk to the shop, or do some one hour activity that would be fine, but doing volunteer work on top of a (third year) engineering degree is too much altogether, especially seeing as I can't do the degree by itself.

But yeah, I do actually shoot a lot of things down, but that's because I used to try so many new things, and they usually ended up being a waste of time and having a negative impact on my social skills/confidence.

Well then you need to address that with a counsellor/ CBT therapist. If your mental health issues are preventing you from living the life you want then things have to change.
What are the sorts of things you looked into volunteering as? You could dog walk for a rescue centre for a couple of hours at the weekend (you would get out and get exercise). The Foroige Big Brother/ Big Sister programme is a mentoring programme where you would act as a 'big brother' for a young lad with similar interests to you for an hour a week for a year. There are loads of different things you could do that would edge you out of your comfort zone just enough for you to grow.

batmanrobin

thepikminman wrote: »

So you're saying I'm just unlucky that I have all these horrible problems, and that I have to go through horrible times and effort to fix this, for months? And that's not even definite. [mod snip]. Thanks for the advice.

Re-read what I posted rather than overreacting to it. I didn't say you were unlucky, you do however come across as defeatist.

OP getting to the root of our issues IS painful! Working through IS painful. But when you come out the other side is when you realise it was worth the short term pain.

Your anxiety is the issue. Go back to therapy, but you need to find a therapist who works well with you. They can't and aren't all bad. Take up yoga, you would be hugely surprised by the benefits. Meditation also works wonders.

You say you don't have time to volunteer. I have friends who are running their own business, married, have their own kids and still find time to commit to volunteering. You seem to set yourself up for a fall with your thinking. If you focus on changing your thinking, therapy will help, you'll see the difference. Can I just say, as someone who does volunteer work, it is life saving. I come back from it refreshed, my thinking is healthier and I feel happier.