Would you date a separated but not yet divorced woman?

thesultan

Going out with a separated woman the last four years. The only thing I would have liked a church wedding.

Speedwell

thesultan wrote: »

Going out with a separated woman the last four years. The only thing I would have liked a church wedding.

By any chance would this be the same Church that made it hard for her to get a divorce?

sozbox

No interest in a church wedding so that didn't even cross my mind. We can be so backward at times.

Kings Inns or bust

Speedwell wrote: »

By any chance would this be the same Church that made it hard for her to get a divorce?

Same State that allows the same Church so unless one is moving too...

thesultan

Same church. RC

Charizard

I dont see it as a issue, my sister married a guy recently who shes been with 12 years he was separated a year when they met. I feel once a marriage is over, why should people wait till divorce comes through

LegacyUser

OP, I am currently in a relationship with a separated but not yet divorced man. We have made all sorts of plans for the future. At the very beginning he was very upfront about his situation and also about not being sure if he would ever marry again which was fair enough and didn't bother me. That has subsequently changed to him talking about us hopefully marrying in the future.
I'm not saying that your girlfriend will change her mind, just that it's a possibility if she finds herself in love again. Or you might change yours about wanting to get married but I wouldn't write off someone I had a connection with and attraction to because of it unless getting married was the be-all and end-all to you or would create a barrier for you to, for example, having a family.

DeLady

Its actually 5yrs in total, you have to be separated for at least 1yr and then wait another 4 before you can start divorce proceedings, totally ridiculous.

H3llR4iser

I don't see the issue to be honest, although this comes from somebody who has no prospective view on the "happy ever after" - actually the idea of marriage and, the Divines forbid, children sends a double-barreled chill down my spine

However, in reality one can never tell - in the past I did come darn close to...settling down (cold sweat just typing this!), and to be honest at my specific age (mid-30s) it is relatively easy to meet women who are on a "quest for a ring / children ASAP"; In that regard, a separated woman will have, besides the obvious legally binding time constraints, also the maturity and knowledge that marriage/long term isn't all the Disney fairytale that's spoon fed on us since childhood.

In all fairness, if the basic idea is to be looking for a more established relationship in the future, I would say that a woman being separated / waiting for divorce is of no concern in the worst case, an actual advantage in the best scenario...

Dial Hard

DeLady wrote:

Its actually 5yrs in total, you have to be separated for at least 1yr and then wait another 4 before you can start divorce proceedings, totally ridiculous.

That's not true. You simply have to be separated four out of five years and there's no requirement to have obtained a judicial separation first.

Outlaw Pete

Sure, if she'd have me.

BetsyEllen

H3llR4iser wrote: »

I don't see the issue to be honest, although this comes from somebody who has no prospective view on the "happy ever after" - actually the idea of marriage and, the Divines forbid, children sends a double-barreled chill down my spine

However, in reality one can never tell - in the past I did come darn close to...settling down (cold sweat just typing this!), and to be honest at my specific age (mid-30s) it is relatively easy to meet women who are on a "quest for a ring / children ASAP"; In that regard, a separated woman will have, besides the obvious legally binding time constraints, also the maturity and knowledge that marriage/long term isn't all the Disney fairytale that's spoon fed on us since childhood.

In all fairness, if the basic idea is to be looking for a more established relationship in the future, I would say that a woman being separated / waiting for divorce is of no concern in the worst case, an actual advantage in the best scenario...

You make a great point.
I'm 29 and having already been married and now separated, I have a VERY different view on marriage to all of my friends.

The next guy I meet, I will be making it very clear that I have no wishes for marriage again and also I'm pretty sure I don't want children - if I hadn't been through what I have though, I would probably be skipping about dreaming of white dresses and bouquets like other girls my age.

The problem is though, being single at this age, most guys must assume I am desperate for a baby etc!

mzungu

It wouldn't be an issue for me anyways. If the previous relationship is over and done with, then there are no problems.

H3llR4iser

BetsyEllen wrote: »

You make a great point.
I'm 29 and having already been married and now separated, I have a VERY different view on marriage to all of my friends.

The next guy I meet, I will be making it very clear that I have no wishes for marriage again and also I'm pretty sure I don't want children - if I hadn't been through what I have though, I would probably be skipping about dreaming of white dresses and bouquets like other girls my age.

The problem is though, being single at this age, most guys must assume I am desperate for a baby etc!

Exactly what I meant; Maybe 29 is still a bit young for being "desperate" about having babies and such, although I DID encounter the Neanderthal "mother before 30 or you're a failure" mentality a few times. In the end, it really rests in your field - it's up to you to make things clear.