Would you have problems to consider this girl like LTR material?

gammin

[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]We've known each other for two years and we've been starting something (seeing eachothers and sleeping together) for four months.[/font]
[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my attention. She is kind, nice, with a lot of common interests. She's good with people, she is sunny, she makes me laugh, she is smart. She is a strenght of nature, a really beautiful and rare person. I like beeing with her, she makes me feel good like I never felt. And the sex is incredible. We have an harmony that I've never had with anyone else. [/font]
[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]She told me she would like to be more serious because she likes me and she is becoming attacched to me. And I started to think that it's hard to think about a future with her, because of her past.[/font]
[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]In this two years I've known her, she is always been single. Instead I've been in a relationship for a year. She enjoyed her single time a lot, but this is not the problem. I have the opinion that if you are single you can do whatever you want. I enoyed my single time too, more then she did. The problem is that i know people she had sex with, "one night stand" or "fwb relatioship", however nothing serious, just sex or other things. Some of these people are acquaintances, two of them are my big friends (me and this girl live in a small town and we go out in the same social cirlce). [/font]
[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]This thing block me a lot and I don't know how to go beyond it, and if I ever will. This makes me feel sorry because I think that I will never meet someone like her. I'm not afraid of cheating, I know her and I know that if she is in relationship she is faithful at all. I'm afraid of people judjment, I can't accept to hear stories or voices of her past. I have to interact with locals that had sex with this girl. I had sex with several locals too, but she doesn't know because it happened before we known each others. [/font]
[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]What do you think?[/font]

eviltwin

I think you're being very immature. She's done nothing wrong, she sounds like someone you have potential with and you're thinking of ending it because of pride. You need to sort out that ego.

Idle Passerby

I agree with the above poster. She existed before you got involved with her, as you did too. You have both had previous sexual partners, the same as the vast majority of adults have. The past is the past, so what if you know some people shes slept with, get over it or let her go so she can meet someone who doesn't have an issue with being involved with an adult woman.

Big Bag of Chips

Just because you had sex with local people before you knew her, doesn't mean she doesn't or will never know about it. In a small place, people talk. Although maybe the girls you slept with are more discreet than the fellas she slept with. You can't have double standards. One standard for you (you enjoyed being single and sleeping with local people) and one standard for her (she enjoyed being single and sleeping with local people, but you don't like that).

You're not a virgin. Neither is she. You and your friends sound a bit immature if you think that you will have to listen to people telling you about sleeping with her. If you want to be with a girl whose history is more unknown to you, I suggest moving outside your locality. I'd also suggest you stop using this girl for sex. She's telling you she's developing feelings for you but you think she's ok for sex, but not good enough to be a girlfriend.

Yellow pack crisps

Jaysis the way you described her at the beginning is all you need to concentrate on. Everything else is paper mache.

I guarantee you one thing you will live to regret this if you let her go.

beks101

Jaysus, I thought you were going to say she moonlights as a hooker or she steals cars in her spare time or something.

In actual fact her crime is living the single life in a small town just like you? The hypocrisy is staggering. The likelihood is that she does know about your history too, small towns being small towns, but hasn't given it a second thought because when you move in the same social circle in a small place it's an inevitability. Unless she had taken a vow of celibacy it's pretty inescapable that you'd know each other's conquests, that's how being single in a small town works.

If you're worried about your mates slagging you or making lewd comments or something, then you'd seriously need to grow a pair of balls and have a word with yourself. And get a new set of mates while you're at it if they're that way inclined. This is 2016, not 1952.

Estrellita

Everyone has a past, and are entitled to. But according to you, she can't have a past, and you can. Do you see how absurd that really is? You need to get over yourself. You said all of these wonderful things about her, you would be crazy to let her get away just because you have some hang ups about her past.

If she is as perfect as you say she is, she will be snapped up by a man that doesn't judge her, or care that she has a past. You talk about it like it's something shameful she has done. She hasn't. I have had flings and long term relationships, and it's taught me things about myself and what I need from a partner. I've found him by the way, after kissing several frogs and getting over my silly phase of always going for the bad/Wilder guys. I don't think I would have fully uunderstood or valued fully the man I have today without those experiences.

Forget her past and don't ruin something that could be really great.

racso1975

gammin wrote: »

[font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif]I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my attention. She is kind, nice, with a lot of common interests. She's good with people, she is sunny, she makes me laugh, she is smart. She is a strenght of nature, a really beautiful and rare person. I like beeing with her, she makes me feel good like I never felt. And the sex is incredible. We have an harmony that I've never had with anyone else. [/font]

Read the above. Then read it again. Then think of throwing that all away because she had sex with other people. Your title "problems as a LTR girlfriend?" what problems? She sounds brilliant!!!!

The only problem is in your head and being paranoid what people may think etc. One opinion here counts what she thinks of you!!! If it helps at all she has has chosen you!!! She wants a relationship with you.

Don't be an ass and mess this girl around as she certainly does not deserve it and for the love of god if you decide this is something you cant get over do not tell her its because of her past!!!

Kenny B

Double standards are perfectly acceptable.

There is no point in getting into a LTR if you can't get it right in your head, you already live with yourself every day, why live with someone who may add extra grief. Unless they are worth it.

Well, Is she worth it?

GingerLily

Kenny B wrote: »

Double standards are perfectly acceptable.

There is no point in getting into a LTR if you can't get it right in your head, you already live with yourself every day, why live with someone who may add extra grief. Unless they are worth it.

Well, Is she worth it?

Double standards are NOT perfectly acceptable by there very definition.

OP, the girl sounds great, I hope you get over this issue in your head and give her a shot

racso1975

Kenny B wrote: »

Double standards are perfectly acceptable.

No. No they are not.Especially when it comes to ones sexual past v another.

Keane2baMused

OP this girl is either wonderful or not.

Her past has absolutely nothing to do with your future. Only your pride and ego is getting in the way it seems.

Ursus Horribilis

It's obvious English isn't your first language. Do you come from a culture that's macho and expects women to behave a certain way? Because the way you're going on about her, I'm not sure you respect her. She seems to be good enough to mess around but you don't see her as a long term girlfriend. How do you think this girl would react if she found boards and read this thread? Personally, I think you should let her go and give her a chance to find a man who won't be looking down his nose at her because she dared to have a past.

pc7

I really thought you were going to say she used to be a prostitute or in porn movies. She was single and had sex!!! As did you. Seriously you need to get over this or move on.

LegacyUser

She sounds like a fab girl who is decent and a 'good catch'. For this reason I think you should walk away as your double standards would be a very unhealthy trait to bring into a relationship with her. She sounds balanced and I would hate to think you might impact negatively on her with your attitude. It's best that you walk away as you don't seem mature enough to be a good partner for her.

tara73

pc7 wrote: »

I really thought you were going to say she used to be a prostitute or in porn movies. She was single and had sex!!! As did you. Seriously you need to get over this or move on.

and I would like to add you should reconsider your double standards. you won't get any far with your attitude, it's an attitude from decades ago.

Bigus

If you didn't live in a small town this wouldn't be an issue, gonna be hard to find a virgin that likes sex in that town or anywhere else these days, so you're probably doing better than you realise .

Kenny B

Keane2baMused wrote: »

OP this girl is either wonderful or not.

Her past has absolutely nothing to do with your future. Only your pride and ego is getting in the way it seems.

This is all true but the OP is entitled to his pride and ego, even if they might lose him a special person.

It either feels right or wrong, he has to please himself first and foremost, if he can't get past her past, why go forward, a perfectly acceptable double standard.

Sunflower 27

I tell you what I think: I think you risk losing an incredible woman because of your own petty prejudices. She had ONS? Many single women do! You said yourself you have had them. Do you not see the hypocrisy. This will be blunt: grow up or miss out on what sounds like it could be an incredibly happy relationship for you.

You were happy to have a casual relationship with her, and you are now judging her for the very thing you partook in. Incredible.

eviltwin

Kenny B wrote: »

This is all true but the OP is entitled to his pride and ego, even if they might lose him a special person.

It either feels right or wrong, he has to please himself first and foremost, if he can't get past her past, why go forward, a perfectly acceptable double standard.

He's doing himself more harm than good with that attitude. He will miss out on this girl and who knows what else because of his own hang ups. He needs to get over himself. Most people won't care about her sexual history and those who do aren't worth bothering about.

Ursus Horribilis

eviltwin wrote: »

Most people won't care about her sexual history and those who do aren't worth bothering about.

Depends where he's from. It doesn't appear to be Ireland. It could be a big deal wherever it is he lives. The bottom line is, if he can't get over this very soon, then he should leave her alone.

batmanrobin

Kenny B wrote: »

Double standards are perfectly acceptable.

There is no point in getting into a LTR if you can't get it right in your head, you already live with yourself every day, why live with someone who may add extra grief. Unless they are worth it.

Well, Is she worth it?

Sorry but he's not allowed to have a double standard here. He's engaged in casual sex too. It can't be wrong for her but okay for him. She can't be less and him more. He has done the EXACT same thing she has.

His attitude stinks. Quite frankly this girl is far too good for him. At least she's not judging him the way he is judging her.

Time to get over yourself OP. What is it you're looking for? A virgin?

Stop having sex with this woman if you have such little respect for her. Especially when she has told you she is developing feelings for you.

Kenny B

If he wants to shoot for the stars - Let him. To say he is not allowed a double standard is childish, he can do whatever he wants.

He might miss and end up realising what he missed,


Asking him to stop having sex with her if he has so little respect for - you describe her like a town bike who goes off with any bloke, maybe she should have a bit more respect for herself. - See how easy it is to lob out baseless accusations.

It is a societal issue, always has been, Guys get lauded, Gals get slaughtered. If he is thinking about it before he even gets into the relationship clearly says he should not look for something long term, but have fun while it lasts.

batmanrobin

Kenny B wrote: »

Asking him to stop having sex with her if he has so little respect for - you describe her like a town bike who goes off with any bloke, maybe she should have a bit more respect for herself. - See how easy it is to lob out baseless accusations.

What are you on about?! How is telling him to stop having sex with her if he doesn't respect her, equating her to the town bike?? You're reaching there, quite a bit actually.

Nor is it childish to say he can't engage in double standards. He's had casual sex. He think less of her for having done the same. That makes him a hypocrite. He think she's fine for sex but not relationship material, again, he's a hypocrite. By his logic, he mustn't be relationship material either.

Keane2baMused

Kenny B wrote: »

If he wants to shoot for the stars - Let him. To say he is not allowed a double standard is childish, he can do whatever he wants.

He might miss and end up realising what he missed,


Asking him to stop having sex with her if he has so little respect for - you describe her like a town bike who goes off with any bloke, maybe she should have a bit more respect for herself. - See how easy it is to lob out baseless accusations.

It is a societal issue, always has been, Guys get lauded, Gals get slaughtered. If he is thinking about it before he even gets into the relationship clearly says he should not look for something long term, but have fun while it lasts.

I don't even know where to start with this.

Kudos though, I'm sure you've given the OP the cotton wool response he was hoping for to make himself feel better. It won't actually be helpful long term though if he continues with that attitude through life.

Marrying a virgin is really the only surefire solution if he can't deal with someone's past.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Well, you're having feelings, you realise they're a problem, and you're being honest about them. So there is hope!

It can be hard to logic yourself out of emotions even when you know well they're not rational. But do try to. How likely is it, really, that when you and this girl are an official item, people she's been with before would start talking to you about those sexual encounters? I don't think it's very realistic for that to be a big worry.

I'm also guessing you're from Eastern Europe, so as for worrying about people's judgement...in all small towns in Ireland, there's a group of friends who have basically all slept together. It's not a thing that people judge each other over, otherwise noone would have anyone they could sleep with. The only reason it'd even be pass-remarkable is if one of ye had previously had a long relationship with someone else in the group. You're very unlikely to get any actual judgement, the problem you need to get past are in yourself.

Do you have someone who knows you both, someone you could ask for their perspective on the situation? They'll be better able to talk sense into you.

You do need to have a big hard think about this though, and if you really won't be able to get past this you need to stop sleeping with her. I wouldn't tell her this is the reason either. It sounds like you'd really regret letting her go so do try and get your head right, but don't go into a relationship with her with this attitude, it stinks and it's a recipe for disaster. Better preserve the friendship in that case.

Emme

Kenny B wrote: »

If he wants to shoot for the stars - Let him. To say he is not allowed a double standard is childish, he can do whatever he wants.

He might miss and end up realising what he missed,


Asking him to stop having sex with her if he has so little respect for - you describe her like a town bike who goes off with any bloke, maybe she should have a bit more respect for herself. - See how easy it is to lob out baseless accusations.

It is a societal issue, always has been, Guys get lauded, Gals get slaughtered. If he is thinking about it before he even gets into the relationship clearly says he should not look for something long term, but have fun while it lasts.

Are you saying he should use her for sex while he looks for a pure virgin? :eek:

When I first read the OP's post I thought that he should let her go and find somebody who is really worthy of her, somebody who appreciates her, really cares about her and respects her and doesn't see her as a shopsoiled f***buddy unworthy of a LTR.

She seems to like him and he likes her but is concerned about her past which is no worse than his. It's up to him. If he would rather have a LTR with a virgin than with a girl he likes and cares for then he should let her go and find somebody who cares for her, respects her and doesn't judge her.

Lavinia

You do not deserve her. She be better off without you. And she'll probably figure that out quite soon.

Kenny B

Emme wrote: »

Are you saying he should use her for sex while he looks for a pure virgin? :eek:

When I first read the OP's post I thought that he should let her go and find somebody who is really worthy of her, somebody who appreciates her, really cares about her and respects her and doesn't see her as a shopsoiled f***buddy unworthy of a LTR.

She seems to like him and he likes her but is concerned about her past which is no worse than his. It's up to him. If he would rather have a LTR with a virgin than with a girl he likes and cares for then he should let her go and find somebody who cares for her, respects her and doesn't judge her.

He has a problem with a having a partner who has been intimate with his friends, he does not say he wants a virgin just that he would prefer she was not 'known' by his mates. So quit spinning it.

That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Demonising him because he wants what he wants is unreasonable. He never insults her or says she should be ashamed of her past, I do agree that if he does not deem her worthy he should walk away, but he is entitled to judge what is best for him while not judging her.

LLMMLL

Am I reading a different OP to everyone else?

He clearly says he doesn't have a problem with her sleeping around. His problem is that two of her past lovers are very good friends of his.

It's be fairly common to have a problem with this and does not make the OP some kind of hypocrite.

Rekop dog

LLMMLL wrote: »

Am I reading a different OP to everyone else?

He clearly says he doesn't have a problem with her sleeping around. His problem is that two of her past lovers are very good friends of his.

It's be fairly common to have a problem with this and does not make the OP some kind of hypocrite.

Yeah people always attach their own narrative to these things and runaway with themselves. It seemed quite obvious to me that his issue is not with her having multiple previous sexual partners but that a few of those are his close friends.

The reality is that he's very likely heard(or even partaken in) lewd/derogatory stories with friends about her. Obviously immature but that's how many lads go on in groups. I can see how it would be difficult shift to becoming her girlfriend now. Not condoning any of it, but I understand his plight.

Lavinia

Rekop dog wrote: »

Yeah people always attach their own narrative to these things and runaway with themselves. It seemed quite obvious to me that his issue is not with her having multiple previous sexual partners but that a few of those are his close friends.t.

Seriously??


Didn't stop him "being" with her for couple of months already.

I sincerely hope this girl dumps this dishonest loser asap.

enzo roco

Lavinia wrote: »

Seriously??


Didn't stop him "being" with her for couple of months already.

I sincerely hope this girl dumps this dishonest loser asap.

Loser???
Bit harsh. I reckon the op is about 19/20, and just immature.
He'll grow up eventually. And in a few years realise that he messed up big time.

No need for the name calling.

batmanrobin

LLMMLL wrote: »

Am I reading a different OP to everyone else?

He clearly says he doesn't have a problem with her sleeping around. His problem is that two of her past lovers are very good friends of his.

It's be fairly common to have a problem with this and does not make the OP some kind of hypocrite.

The problem is he's sleeping with her but doesn't think she would be good enough relationship material. She's told him she's developing feelings for him.

What I'd like to call him would probably get me a ban. To put it mildly, he's behaving in a very selfish manner. He knows she is developing feelings. He needs to stop sleeping with her.

I can understand why people might not view someone as being suited to them for a relationship based purely on compatibility. But to discount someone because of their sexual past, someone who by all accounts sounds like a wonderful woman, is just ridiculous and quite insulting to this woman.

He either gets over it and realises how lucky he is to have someone he's describe as a great catch or else he lets her go. But continuing to sleep with her is beyond s****y.

LLMMLL

I think you're still reading an interpretation in your head, not what's in the OP. He hasn't decided to dump her and is still sleeping with her. That's somethin you've made up.

It seems he has concerns about the relationship and is asking for advice. I know multiple relationships, successful ones jay have ended up in marriage, where at least one of the party had concerns in the early stages.

The idea that at the first sign of trouble he should stop sleeping with her is frankly ridiculous.

batmanrobin

LLMMLL wrote: »

I think you're still reading an interpretation in your head, not what's in the OP. He hasn't decided to dump her and is still sleeping with her. That's somethin you've made up.

It seems he has concerns about the relationship and is asking for advice. I know multiple relationships, successful ones jay have ended up in marriage, where at least one of the party had concerns in the early stages.

The idea that at the first sign of trouble he should stop sleeping with her is frankly ridiculous.

Is this in response to me? It reads as if he's still engaging with her so how am I making that up?

She's told him she's developing feelings. In a FWB situation, or whatever the OP has with this woman, when one party starts to develop feelings you pull the plug. Otherwise you're leading that person on and/or being a selfish git.

Given his doubts maybe he should cool things with her until he knows what he wants. She might not still be around but that'll be his loss.

LLMMLL

batmanrobin wrote: »

Is this in response to me? It reads as if he's still engaging with her so how am I making that up?

She's told him she's developing feelings. In a FWB situation, or whatever the OP has with this woman, when one party starts to develop feelings you pull the plug. Otherwise you're leading that person on and/or being a selfish git.

Given his doubts maybe he should cool things with her until he knows what he wants. She might not still be around but that'll be his loss.

He may still be engaging with her but as I've pointed out, its not uncommon to have doubts early on in a relationship. Continuing with the relationship while sorting these doubts out (and actively seeking advice) does not make the OP deserving of the very hard time you are giving to him.

You said he does not consider her relationship material. I don't think that its HER that he does not consider relationship material, rather the situation that has come up. He is uncomfortable that she has slept with two very good friends of his. There is no evidence from the OP that he sees this as a reflection on her, just that they ended up in a situation he is not comfortable with.

Big Bag of Chips

In this two years I've known her, she is always been single. Instead I've been in a relationship for a year. She enjoyed her single time a lot, but this is not the problem. I have the opinion that if you are single you can do whatever you want. I enoyed my single time too, more then she did. The problem is that i know people she had sex with, "one night stand" or "fwb relatioship", however nothing serious, just sex or other things. Some of these people are acquaintances, two of them are my big friends (me and this girl live in a small town and we go out in the same social cirlce).
This thing block me a lot and I don't know how to go beyond it, and if I ever will.

He knew about her sleeping with his close friends, before he started sleeping with her. If it affected him so much then he shouldn't have gone there in the first place. He doesn't know if he'll ever get over the fact that she slept with his friends, yet he's happy to keep sleeping with her while he figures it out?

You're being unfair and incredibly selfish, OP. I suggest you try to work it out pretty soon. Because right now you are being incredibly crappy to a girl who has told you she is falling for you.

strandroad

LLMMLL wrote: »

Am I reading a different OP to everyone else?

He clearly says he doesn't have a problem with her sleeping around. His problem is that two of her past lovers are very good friends of his.

It's be fairly common to have a problem with this and does not make the OP some kind of hypocrite.

He said that he himself slept with several girls from what he calls their small social circle so she'd be in a very similar situation to his if same standards were applied as presumably she knows or is friends with these girls. The difference is that he knows about her past but she's oblivious to his, and he's happy to leave her at that although by his logic she could have serious issues with his history with "the locals" too.

It's not a good foundation for a relationship to hold the other person accountable for what you don't even apply to yourself. It's manipulative and shows a serious lack of respect. He should stop messing with her if they have outgrown their mutual arrangement. There will be others!

batmanrobin

LLMMLL wrote: »

He may still be engaging with her but as I've pointed out, its not uncommon to have doubts early on in a relationship. Continuing with the relationship while sorting these doubts out (and actively seeking advice) does not make the OP deserving of the very hard time you are giving to him.

You said he does not consider her relationship material. I don't think that its HER that he does not consider relationship material, rather the situation that has come up. He is uncomfortable that she has slept with two very good friends of his. There is no evidence from the OP that he sees this as a reflection on her, just that they ended up in a situation he is not comfortable with.

To be fair, I'm not the only one coming down hard on him. The vast majority of the posters are.

Also, HE is the one who is questioning her as relationship material. Those are his words, I'm echoing them back at him.

As Big Bag of Chips pointed out, this guy knew about her past before he started sleeping with her. Of course it is hypocritical to think it's okay to have sex with someone who slept with your friends but then to question her as good relationship material based on that same fact.

LLMMLL

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

He knew about her sleeping with his close friends, before he started sleeping with her. If it affected him so much then he shouldn't have gone there in the first place.

Completely disagree on this point. It's a friends with benefits situation. Was he supposed to psychically predict she would develop feelings for him and say no from the start?

LLMMLL

mhge wrote: »

He said that he himself slept with several girls from what he calls their small social circle so she'd be in a very similar situation to his if same standards were applied as presumably she knows or is friends with these girls. The difference is that he knows about her past but she's oblivious to his, and he's happy to leave her at that although by his logic she could have serious issues with his history with "the locals" too.

It's not a good foundation for a relationship to hold the other person accountable for what you don't even apply to yourself. It's manipulative and shows a serious lack of respect. He should stop messing with her if they have outgrown their mutual arrangement. There will be others!

We all have our turnoffs and issues. And we all hope that potential partners won't have issues with us in relation to their turnoffs. Maybe in some moralistic world where everyone is perfect you can describe that as hypocritical. And if he was insulting her I might agree.

He does not insult her. He just has an issue with the potential relationship. He wants to get past this issue.

Maybe she would have the same issue with him. But maybe she wouldn't. It's really neither here nor there and makes no contribution to resolving the issue.

What's happening here is that people (wrongly) thought he was calling her a slut and they want to take him down a peg.

LLMMLL

batmanrobin wrote: »

To be fair, I'm not the only one coming down hard on him. The vast majority of the posters are.

Also, HE is the one who is questioning her as relationship material. Those are his words, I'm echoing them back at him.

As Big Bag of Chips pointed out, this guy knew about her past before he started sleeping with her. Of course it is hypocritical to think it's okay to have sex with someone who slept with your friends but then to question her as good relationship material based on that same fact.

If I met someone great but didn't want to do a long distance relationship does that mean I don't think they are relationship material?

No. Not being relationship material is wen there is something about the person themselves that blocks a relationship. In this case he has no issue with her or her behaviour so not only did he not say what you're claiming. He does not even imply it.

strandroad

LLMMLL wrote: »

Maybe she would have the same issue with him. But maybe she wouldn't. It's really neither here nor there and makes no contribution to resolving the issue .

No it's actually essential to have equal footing as partners. Her past with his friends is seemingly a blocker but otherwise he'd be happy to jump into the relationship despite his own similar past (that he's happy to keep from her). That's immature at best and doesn't bode well at all, even if he got over it now.

Big Bag of Chips

LLMMLL wrote: »

Actually he never said a thing about relationship material.

It's the title of the thread!

Not being relationship material is wen there is something about the person themselves that blocks a relationship. In this case he has no issue with her or her behaviour so not only did he not say what you're claiming. He does not even imply it.

gammin wrote: »

This thing block me a lot and I don't know how to go beyond it, and if I ever will. This makes me feel sorry because I think that I will never meet someone like her.

LLMMLL

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

It's the title of the thread!

oops

But the point still stands. He does not have an issue with her, but with the situation. To me, this is no different from somebody who is unsure whether they can do a long distance relationship.

batmanrobin

LLMMLL wrote: »

If I met someone great but didn't want to do a long distance relationship does that mean I don't think they are relationship material?

No. Not being relationship material is wen there is something about the person themselves that blocks a relationship. In this case he has no issue with her or her behaviour so not only did he not say what you're claiming. He does not even imply it.

You keep saying I'm claiming it. Have you actually bothered to read this thread? Including the title of it?

He is the one claiming to have the problem. The problem, for him, is she's slept with his friends.

He's making her sexual history about her, which it is. Your past is part of you. What most of us are saying, and you seem to be failing to grasp, is that it's hypocritical of him to continue sleeping with her when he feels she might not be relationship material.

She has now told him she is developing feelings for him. This is where a FWB situation ends. You don't continue to sleep with someone when you know they have feelings for you. Especially when your whole reasoning for not wanting a relationship with that person is because of who they've slept with, yet that isn't a big enough reason to stop sleeping with them.

batmanrobin

LLMMLL wrote: »

oops

But the point still stands. He does not have an issue with her, but with the situation. To me, this is no different from somebody who is unsure whether they can do a long distance relationship.

No the point doesn't stand. Your argument is specious.

Keane2baMused

LLMMLL wrote: »

oops

But the point still stands. He does not have an issue with her, but with the situation. To me, this is no different from somebody who is unsure whether they can do a long distance relationship.

You really don't seem to have understood the OP.

He really does have an issue with her. If it was the situation it would be no different to himself and he wouldn't judge.

He's asking if SHE is relationship material because of her sexual history. No more, no less.

dubstarr

Her past is what makes her the person today.Maybe let her go so she can find a man who will treat her right.And not like a dirty secret or a used object.

eviltwin

LLMMLL wrote: »

oops

But the point still stands. He does not have an issue with her, but with the situation. To me, this is no different from somebody who is unsure whether they can do a long distance relationship.

No the issue is her because he's framing it around her. Look at how he's worded it. It's all about whether he should peruse a relationship. Nothing about how to deal with immature apes who might make comments about his girlfriend, no it's a problem focused solely on her despite the fact she's done nothing wrong at all. If his fears are what certain people might say then those individuals are who he needs to be dealing with.