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Did you stay or Did you go?

  • #2
    Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭ pclancy


    Wondering how many of you are still here after emigrating from Ireland? Or did things not work out and you went back home, or elsewhere abroad?

    Out of my circle of ex-pat friends, probably at least two thirds are still here, a few ended up going to Melbourne or Brisbane in search of better jobs, and a handful went back to Ireland after the recession ended.

    Are you still in NZ after emigrating?

    Sign in to vote!
    This is a private poll: no-one will see what you voted for.


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Comments

  • #2


    We're still here after 5 years (my wife and I) and have built a house and in the process of getting citizenship.
    2 friends of ours we brought out with work connections are also still here after about 4 years, one marrying a kiwi and having a kid next week!
    Definitly here for the long term, been home 5 times to get married or for work and apart from missing friends and family I just cant deal with Ireland anymore.


  • #2


    I was about to edit the poll to correct the typo, then realised it was an accent joke that I missed first time through!


  • #2


    Anyone done a double bounce, as in:

    Moved to NZ (intending to be for good - so sold house, etc)
    Lived there for N months, even bought a house etc
    Changed your mind, sold the house in NZ
    Moved back home
    Realised after an even smaller number of months that you'd made a horrendous mistake .. and to moved to NZ again!


    I know of a few Brits who've done this, would guess that a few Irish would have too. Very expensive little mistake to make.


  • #2


    Yeah heard of that in reference to emigrants from the UK being called "Ping Pong Poms" as they move down, move back home, then move back down under again :)


  • #2


    Moved back Monday, still jet lagged.


  • #2


    Still here!:(:(:(
    Hate it more each day.:(:(:(


  • #2


    How come you hate it so much?


  • #2


    I lived in New Zealand for 18 months, like all places, it has its plusses and minuses, but it definitely wasn't for me. I was in Wellington and the horrible weather coupled with the lack of indoor heating was a killer. And I felt extremely isolated, more than I'd anticipated. Each to their own, I know plenty of people who moved there and loved it, but when I moved back to the Northern hemisphere, I was so happy to be back in the land of Winter Christmas, Autumn Halloween, and Spring Easter :)


  • #2


    I cant put my finger on what it is. Maybe it is the distance from home and then any small thing that goes wrong is exaggerated and made seem worse because of that. Maybe it is the total **** standard of housing that had 2 of my kids put on inhalers within 8 months of moving here. It could be the kiwis acceptance of such **** standard of housing and high prices that made me loose a lot of respect for kiwis very quickly. It could be the blatant racisim towards the Maori or it could be the Maori themselves that do nothing to stop the white people hating them and thinking of them as lower than dirt. Maybe it is that people here do not even care enough to get dressed to go to the shop, I have seen people in all states of dress while doing the shopping, dressing gowns and slippers, towels, socks, dirty socks, odd socks, odd shoes ......... I could go on. Adults not wearing shoes is a bit disgusting especially when they do not even have the decency to clean their feet or cut their nails. It is disgusting. The kiwi attitude that anything not made in NZ is going to be dodgy and it is worth paying double the price for something made here. They seriously believe that. White wellie boots!!! Wellie boots as an acceptable choice of footware for anyone at anytime.

    I'm getting angry now thinking about all the things I hate about here so I am going to stop now.

    Things I will miss about NZ when I leave.

    Absolutely nothing!


  • #2


    Things I will miss about NZ when I leave.
    Absolutely nothing!

    Really? Where do you live?

    What about the unbelievable scenery, the weather, the laid back lifestyle, the weird and wonderful wild life? Even the fact you can have a dirt cheap V8 and not be raped on tax and insurance ;-)

    Your attitude or your impression of the attitude to Maori also surprises me tbh, yes there is a level of casual racism (like between Cork and Dublin) but very little evidence of real hatred based racism in any form. The likes of the Waitangi tribunal and the constant demand for money is about the worst of it.

    the problem with casually dressed people is you, not NZ. I think it's great, no one cares what people think, same with business, very few require suits and all that nonsense.

    Have you been back to Ireland since moving?
    Why are you staying if you hate it so much?


  • #2


    I come from Donegal and I have seen nothing here that would beat what I could see there. I hear there are some spectacular places to see but with a wife and 4 kids we cant afford to go down south just to see these places. The weather is nothing special, it rained most of this summer. For the past few years it was opressively hot, which in itself I dont mind but the houses are so crap they were like sitting in an over. The sun is so strong you can feel yourself burn after about 10 minutes so you cant enjoy it. I have been to Australia and the sun is completely different there, it is enjoyable to be in. How much weird and wonderful wildlife do you encounter on a daily basis? I see cows and sheep. Tax and insurance are cheap but then you have to drive on roads with ignorant kiwi drivers who would rather accelerate than slow down to let you on the road.

    The racism here is nothing like Cork and Dublin, it is actual racism. Saying that I can see why it is like it is. I thought the Maori would be such a cool race of people but I am bitterly disappointed.

    Casual dress is one thing, having a bit of pride in your appearance is another.

    Been back to Ireland once and it felt like home, NZ has never felt like that in any way.

    We sold everything we had to move out here with the dream of a better life. We lost thousands on our house, came here with nothing basically. I was just graduated from college with no chance of work at home. We had to take out loans over the years to get set up here, trying to make it feel like home. Most of our wages go on loans and credit card bills. The cost of moving 6 people to Ireland is considerable, I wish it was as easy as just move home. I could get a job but not sure about my wife, rents are high, car insurance etc and the kids are settled. Lots of things keeping us here but nothing making us happy about it.


  • #2


    I come from Donegal and I have seen nothing here that would beat what I could see there. I hear there are some spectacular places to see but with a wife and 4 kids we cant afford to go down south just to see these places. The weather is nothing special, it rained most of this summer. For the past few years it was opressively hot, which in itself I dont mind but the houses are so crap they were like sitting in an over. The sun is so strong you can feel yourself burn after about 10 minutes so you cant enjoy it. I have been to Australia and the sun is completely different there, it is enjoyable to be in. How much weird and wonderful wildlife do you encounter on a daily basis? I see cows and sheep. Tax and insurance are cheap but then you have to drive on roads with ignorant kiwi drivers who would rather accelerate than slow down to let you on the road.

    The racism here is nothing like Cork and Dublin, it is actual racism. Saying that I can see why it is like it is. I thought the Maori would be such a cool race of people but I am bitterly disappointed.

    Casual dress is one thing, having a bit of pride in your appearance is another.

    Been back to Ireland once and it felt like home, NZ has never felt like that in any way.

    We sold everything we had to move out here with the dream of a better life. We lost thousands on our house, came here with nothing basically. I was just graduated from college with no chance of work at home. We had to take out loans over the years to get set up here, trying to make it feel like home. Most of our wages go on loans and credit card bills. The cost of moving 6 people to Ireland is considerable, I wish it was as easy as just move home. I could get a job but not sure about my wife, rents are high, car insurance etc and the kids are settled. Lots of things keeping us here but nothing making us happy about it.

    Fair enough. It's not for everyone but I'd suggest that you'd be in the minority to be fair.
    I could never live in Ireland again, it's a train wreck of a country IMO.


  • #2
    I cant put my finger on what it is. Maybe it is the distance from home and then any small thing that goes wrong is exaggerated and made seem worse because of that. Maybe it is the total **** standard of housing that had 2 of my kids put on inhalers within 8 months of moving here. It could be the kiwis acceptance of such **** standard of housing and high prices that made me loose a lot of respect for kiwis very quickly. It could be the blatant racisim towards the Maori or it could be the Maori themselves that do nothing to stop the white people hating them and thinking of them as lower than dirt. Maybe it is that people here do not even care enough to get dressed to go to the shop, I have seen people in all states of dress while doing the shopping, dressing gowns and slippers, towels, socks, dirty socks, odd socks, odd shoes ......... I could go on. Adults not wearing shoes is a bit disgusting especially when they do not even have the decency to clean their feet or cut their nails. It is disgusting. The kiwi attitude that anything not made in NZ is going to be dodgy and it is worth paying double the price for something made here. They seriously believe that. White wellie boots!!! Wellie boots as an acceptable choice of footware for anyone at anytime.

    I'm getting angry now thinking about all the things I hate about here so I am going to stop now.

    Things I will miss about NZ when I leave.

    Absolutely nothing!

    Wow. I feel so lucky to have survived growing up in NZ, running around outside with no shoes on and somehow not needing inhalers despite the terrible housing.

    I'd say with your attitude you probably haven't made friends with any decent kiwis, which will make things a bit tough.

    Best of luck.


  • #2


    I come from Donegal and I have seen nothing here that would beat what I could see there. I hear there are some spectacular places to see but with a wife and 4 kids we cant afford to go down south just to see these places. The weather is nothing special, it rained most of this summer. For the past few years it was opressively hot, which in itself I dont mind but the houses are so crap they were like sitting in an over. The sun is so strong you can feel yourself burn after about 10 minutes so you cant enjoy it. I have been to Australia and the sun is completely different there, it is enjoyable to be in. How much weird and wonderful wildlife do you encounter on a daily basis? I see cows and sheep. Tax and insurance are cheap but then you have to drive on roads with ignorant kiwi drivers who would rather accelerate than slow down to let you on the road.

    The racism here is nothing like Cork and Dublin, it is actual racism. Saying that I can see why it is like it is. I thought the Maori would be such a cool race of people but I am bitterly disappointed.

    Casual dress is one thing, having a bit of pride in your appearance is another.

    Been back to Ireland once and it felt like home, NZ has never felt like that in any way.

    We sold everything we had to move out here with the dream of a better life. We lost thousands on our house, came here with nothing basically. I was just graduated from college with no chance of work at home. We had to take out loans over the years to get set up here, trying to make it feel like home. Most of our wages go on loans and credit card bills. The cost of moving 6 people to Ireland is considerable, I wish it was as easy as just move home. I could get a job but not sure about my wife, rents are high, car insurance etc and the kids are settled. Lots of things keeping us here but nothing making us happy about it.

    Reading your post it seems like you're genuinely unhappy there, so I do feel for you. However it also seems like you're kinda stuck there for the forseeable, so really the only thing to do is try and figure out a way to try and make it work for you. Are you and your wife both working, and if so is there room for progression in your respective fields? Maybe the financial pressure won't last forever if you can work towards that.

    I do agree about the poor standard of housing there, I experienced it for two Southland winters!!! It is most definitely a culture shock for us coming from (mostly) well insulated houses. But the kiwis just get on with it, being used to it all their lives, so I guess anybody moving there will just have to grin and bear it, rent a better quality build, or build their own house. If it's making your kids ill however, could you move to another house/area? Are there damp or mould issues at play that could be sorted?

    Have you made many friends or integrated into your community at all? I know that's easier said than done as adults, but it might make things easier if you had a group of friends to have a beer and bbq with or you were involved in an organisation or group of some sort outside of work (even music socs. or AmDram, both sociable by their very nature).

    Relations between the Maori and Pakeha can be strained. The Maori are very proud of their culture and seeing a haka performed by any group of Maori, quite apart from the All Blacks, is a sight to behold as they really put their hearts and souls into it. Do you know any Maori people? Do you work with any, or know any parents through your kids school? If you do, but don't really interact with them much, why not ask them some benign questions about their cultural history (your children may have learned about some Maori myths and legends in school; you could always ask the adults to explain them to you, as a foreigner unfamiliar with their culture). If you ever get the opportunity to visit a Marae, take it. (remember to observe their rules).

    I do get you about the casual dressing and 'shoes optional' thing, I saw many a barefoot Kiwi walking down the street in my time there! I know it's easier said than done, but try to let stuff like that roll off you. It might be distasteful to you, but is it actually harming you? Nah.

    Try and make your best go of it....start afresh with a new attitude, see what you can do to improve your financial situation, get involved in things locally, etc.

    Good things? Dollar chips, sausage sizzles, beautiful scenery, better weather in most parts, laid back, can-do people (you just need some no. 8 wire!) , and just enough little cultural differences between there and here to make it different, but not entirely foreign.


  • #2


    NZ is just not for me. I know loads of you love it here and I honestly wish I did too. I have had a few pretty bad experiences here, we have been burgled, 2 cars have been reversed into at our expense, we have been ****ed over by a landlord and letting agent, I have been ****ed over by my boss, we have been let down by friends (so called), we have been ****ed over by our doctor who took offence that I did not want to visit her twice a year (at my expense) just so she knew how I was doing, we have been let down by the health system since my son got diagnosed with diabetes and autism, 2 of my kids were treated for asthma due to a mouldy house. I honestly dont have any good experiences to tell you about. I'm not saying none of this would not have happened in Ireland but this has been our NZ experience so far.

    My wife and I work full time, struggle to pay the bills, cant afford to do anything with the kids as everything is too expensive. We have done all the beaches and free walks that I care to do. They are ok but as I said before nothing I would not see in Donegal.

    We have done everything anyone could suggest but we still feel the same. Homesickness is a big part of it, when you are down the homesickness makes it all 10 times worse. I know a lot of Irish people out here who feel the same, most would get on a plane if they were not married to a kiwi or if they could afford to.

    To all the kiwis reading this thinging just **** off home if you dont like it, I would be the exact same as you if you were talking **** about Ireland. I would be saying **** off home to NZ if Ireland is so ****. I will go, once I can afford it.

    Did I mention socks and jandals!!!


  • #2
    NZ is just not for me. I know loads of you love it here and I honestly wish I did too. I have had a few pretty bad experiences here, we have been burgled, 2 cars have been reversed into at our expense, we have been ****ed over by a landlord and letting agent, I have been ****ed over by my boss, we have been let down by friends (so called), we have been ****ed over by our doctor who took offence that I did not want to visit her twice a year (at my expense) just so she knew how I was doing, we have been let down by the health system since my son got diagnosed with diabetes and autism, 2 of my kids were treated for asthma due to a mouldy house. I honestly dont have any good experiences to tell you about. I'm not saying none of this would not have happened in Ireland but this has been our NZ experience so far.

    My wife and I work full time, struggle to pay the bills, cant afford to do anything with the kids as everything is too expensive. We have done all the beaches and free walks that I care to do. They are ok but as I said before nothing I would not see in Donegal.

    We have done everything anyone could suggest but we still feel the same. Homesickness is a big part of it, when you are down the homesickness makes it all 10 times worse. I know a lot of Irish people out here who feel the same, most would get on a plane if they were not married to a kiwi or if they could afford to.

    To all the kiwis reading this thinging just **** off home if you dont like it, I would be the exact same as you if you were talking **** about Ireland. I would be saying **** off home to NZ if Ireland is so ****. I will go, once I can afford it.

    Did I mention socks and jandals!!!

    I do feel for you. I can relate, as a kiwi who once felt trapped in Ireland, with no way to leave (both financially, and because I have kids here). Since then, I've gone back to college, retrained, got a job I enjoy, made some good friends etc. Now I find I can see past all the little things that used to annoy me about Ireland.

    One positive thing is that you can leave and return to Ireland, once you can afford it. It would be a shame to have lived in NZ and not have done things like Abel Tasman, the Glaciers, Bungee Jumping and Shotover Jet in Queenstown, Rotorua, Tongariro Crossing, Hot Water Beach etc etc. You should definitely try to tick some of those things off, even if it pushes the date you return to Ireland out a bit.


  • #2


    OP, one thing to think about if you do decide to come home at some stage is the fact that, Irish citizenship notwithstanding, your kids will have to do at least three years of secondary school here before applying for third level, otherwise they will have to pay international student fees which are astronomical! (I may be wrong on that, other posters can feel free to correct me if so). I don't know how old your kids are, but that means you would have to come home before your oldest would be starting Transition year here to not get caught out.

    If you really are that unhappy, there's no shame in saying 'we tried, but it wasn't for us' and coming back. I know it's another upheaval and a big financial curveball, but if you don't think you can take it long term, maybe it might be best to come back before your kids are completely ensconsed in Kiwi life?


  • #2


    Still here!:(:(:(
    Hate it more each day.:(:(:(

    What part of nz are you living in?


  • #2


    If you really think the scenery in NZ is nothing you couldn't see in Donegal you are most definitely not looking in the right places!!


  • #2


    I know looking for updates is generally not the done thing on Boards, but I'd love to know if BlackEdelweiss has thought any more/come to any decisions about whether or not he's coming back to Ireland?


  • #2


    Contract signed, moving to Galway in August. New Zealand has been good to us in many ways but we have had some hard times mostly exaggerated or at least made seem worse by the crippling home sickness. It never left myself or my wife and nobody was more surprised by that than me. Moving to NZ came with a lot of guilt on my part for taking my wife and kids away from all of our family. We are looking forward to our move but are aware of how difficult it may be but we want to just be Irish people in Ireland again.


  • #2
    Contract signed, moving to Galway in August. New Zealand has been good to us in many ways but we have had some hard times mostly exaggerated or at least made seem worse by the crippling home sickness. It never left myself or my wife and nobody was more surprised by that than me. Moving to NZ came with a lot of guilt on my part for taking my wife and kids away from all of our family. We are looking forward to our move but are aware of how difficult it may be but we want to just be Irish people in Ireland again.

    Sounds like you had a good final summer over there (weather-wise), anyway. Raging I went back to NZ Xmas 2016 rather than this one just gone!


  • #2


    Fair play, BE. Obviously a hard decision to make, to relocate and start again, but the uncertainly has ended and judging by what you've posted here, the best decision for your family.

    How did the kids take the news? Will they miss NZ?


  • #2


    Everyone is fairly positive about the move, obviously the kids will miss their friends but they have also missed being part of an extended family, having grandparents, cousins etc. All the logistics to work out now, different return times due to work, school etc, renting in 2 countries for 3 months. Lots of headaches ahead but by Christmas we should all be home under one roof.

    Summer was ok here this year, some good weather but it was really short. We even have the pool down already. Our first year it was a drought well into March. Still hot but more humid than pleasant.

    Anyone want to buy the entire contents of a house?


  • #2


    Still in NZ, after nearly 8 years there. Just completed our citizenship ceremony last month, and have a near 2 year old kiwi daughter, so we're pretty well entrenched, for now.

    On a visit back home to Ireland, first time for our daughter meeting her grandparents, nieces and nephews etc. so definitely a bit more of an eye opening experience as to what she is missing with her relatives and those relationships.

    Still of the opinion my work, my wife's work, our lifestyle and the opportunities for my child are far better than they are here, so it's my preference to stay in NZ for the next decade, but my wife may have different views...


  • #2


    We are home since August and it feels like we are actually living life again and not in limbo like we were in NZ for 6 years. Our kids are part of a wider family, meeting cousins, getting taken out for their birthdays etc. We can attend family functions and just pop home for a weekend without it costing $30,000. We are still glad we went to NZ as it was a great experience for us and the kids but we are so glad to be home again. Being Irish in Ireland is so much better than being Irish abroad, no more liking corny posts on Facebook just to reaffirm our Irishness, we are fully Irish again so we dont have to. NZ was ok, probably not as bad as we made it out to be while we were there due to the homesickness but Ireland is, in our opinion, a much better country to live in.


  • #2


    Here for good :-)


  • #2


    We are home since August and it feels like we are actually living life again and not in limbo like we were in NZ for 6 years. Our kids are part of a wider family, meeting cousins, getting taken out for their birthdays etc. We can attend family functions and just pop home for a weekend without it costing $30,000. We are still glad we went to NZ as it was a great experience for us and the kids but we are so glad to be home again. Being Irish in Ireland is so much better than being Irish abroad, no more liking corny posts on Facebook just to reaffirm our Irishness, we are fully Irish again so we dont have to. NZ was ok, probably not as bad as we made it out to be while we were there due to the homesickness but Ireland is, in our opinion, a much better country to live in.

    Ireland is a better country than New Zealand on every metric bar weather.


  • #2


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Ireland is a better country than New Zealand on every metric bar weather.

    I agree with you almost 100%. I will give NZ credit for how it has embraced being a cashless society. They have developed and use paywave as the normal, accepted method of payment in any store or business for any small amount of cash. The amount of times I have been caught since returning to Ireland with no cash in my pocket to be told that I either have to spend a certain amount before I can use a card to pay or in some cases they do not accept card at all. Also carparks and other automated pay station type places, cash only!!!

    The only other thing I can think of that I like is that you can only park on the side of the road that you are travelling from, I dont know why but I just think its a good idea.

    And the no claim/compensation culture, Ireland really needs to ditch the ability to claim for every bit of pretend whiplash.

    That's it!

    My kids teachers are shocked at the standard of maths they came home with. My daughter had to get a teaching assistant in to bring her up to speed. Two teachers in different schools mentioned it.

    Re the weather, yes it is hotter and dryer but the sun is so strong that it made it unbearable to do anything outside for most of the summer. I could feel my skin actually burn after about 10 minutes in direct sunlight. The houses are also not built to insulate from the summer sun any more than they are from the winter cold. I just used to sweat all summer long. I do miss our pool though, that is a good memory. Give me a good old Irish storm while walking the prom in Salthill anyday!


  • #2


    I agree with you almost 100%. I will give NZ credit for how it has embraced being a cashless society. They have developed and use paywave as the normal, accepted method of payment in any store or business for any small amount of cash. The amount of times I have been caught since returning to Ireland with no cash in my pocket to be told that I either have to spend a certain amount before I can use a card to pay or in some cases they do not accept card at all. Also carparks and other automated pay station type places, cash only!!!

    The only other thing I can think of that I like is that you can only park on the side of the road that you are travelling from, I dont know why but I just think its a good idea.

    And the no claim/compensation culture, Ireland really needs to ditch the ability to claim for every bit of pretend whiplash.

    That's it!

    My kids teachers are shocked at the standard of maths they came home with. My daughter had to get a teaching assistant in to bring her up to speed. Two teachers in different schools mentioned it.

    Re the weather, yes it is hotter and dryer but the sun is so strong that it made it unbearable to do anything outside for most of the summer. I could feel my skin actually burn after about 10 minutes in direct sunlight. The houses are also not built to insulate from the summer sun any more than they are from the winter cold. I just used to sweat all summer long. I do miss our pool though, that is a good memory. Give me a good old Irish storm while walking the prom in Salthill anyday!

    New Zealand is too much to the other end of the spectrum when it comes to insurance claims.

    "get over it" is the default reply to the raising of any issue.

    Did you notice how kiwis absolutely cannot tolerate any sort of complaints about anything?


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