Broke up with girlfriend. Feel devastated.

Kirby42

So bit of backstory, I'm a 24 year old guy living in a foreign country where English is not the first language. I'd been dating her for about 9-10 months and last night we decided to go our separate ways. She doesn't speak English, I'm nearly about intermediate in her language.

There were a few reasons:
1. The language barrier is hard at times. This country has a very manly and conservative culture, and I can't always fulfil the role because I'm not fluent in the local lingo. It's frustrating for both of us.
2. She criticised me a bit about random things to the point where I'd just want to be left alone at home for a day or two to chill out.
3. The spark was dying. I wasn't as attracted to her anymore.
4. I don't know if I want to stay in this country or move back to Ireland.
5. She wants me to move in with her and I feel it's too soon.
6. Relationships move quickly here. She wants to be married with kids in two years. I'm not ready for that stuff.

We spoke about it last night like mature adults and decided to go our separate ways. She tried to give me a kiss goodnight on the forehead but I gently declined and that's when it kicked off. She got angry and tried to leave the apartment at 1am in the night. Public transport doesn't work at that time and we don't exactly live in a safe city. I refused to let her leave, she slept in my bedroom and I slept in the kitchen.

This morning she left. A lot of her stuff is still here. I'm flying home to Ireland tomorrow for a holiday I had pre-planned anyways. She's gonna collect her stuff while I'm away. She threw a subtle dig at me as she was leaving. Something along the lines of I hope you just didn't use me to practice the language. Man, that hurt.

I've cried a lot today. She was a really special girl, very smart and very beautiful. I'm gonna miss her like hell. I can't imagine a future without her but at the same time I know life together mightn't be exactly peachy either.

I sent her a message this morning saying that I'm sorry we parted on such bad terms and that I loved her and will always care for her. She replied saying that she 'thinks' she loved me too but that there are thoughts in her head that all this was was a holiday romance. I've been here for 1 year working my butt off, been with her for near 10 months. That reply really hurt me. I've never experienced such rage and such sorrow simultaneously. Proper devastated, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I replied that I felt we had something more and that was that.

I'm crushed. I deleted all our photos and messages. I have gifts from her that I don't know what to do with. My favourite dress of hers is hanging in my wardrobe and it hurts so much to even look at it. Her beautiful voice is stuck in my head. Thinking of our adventures and silly games, nicknames and rhymes together makes me want to die knowing that it's gone and over.

I don't know if there's a chance we'll get back together in the future or if it's even a good idea. My heart is absolutely broken.

sheepgobaba

From your reasons you give it sounds like you made the right decision to be honest so try focus on that, I've been there missing all the good stuff it's heartbreaking, but it gets easier

Ursus Horribilis

You've also started at least two other threads here about her. So along with all the good stuff, this relationship has caused you anxiety. Did she ever get over the incident where she was convinced that you'd cheated on her?

From what I can see, there were a lot of warning signs in this relationship. She seems to be a person who's fond of giving digs. That to me is a nasty character trait. It affected you too - you're only going out with her 9-10 months and already her digs have been making you want to get some space away from her. you also said the spark was dying. It looks like this had run its course.

If someone gets involved with someone from another country or another culture, there are always going to be sacrifices and compromises made. I know of two couples who split because they couldn't agree on what country to live in. One was a married couple with kids. So if you've got doubts on that front, it is better to split up now before things get more complicated.

Come home to Ireland for your holiday and chat to someone if you can. A trusted friend or family member. It's probably just as well that the holiday has come along now because it'll give you time and space to think about this better. Also, be careful not to have some "breakup sex" with her in the meantime. I take it she's still not on the pill.

Kirby42

She's a nice girl, really. I'm far from perfect myself. Some of the digs are warranted I'm sure.
She's popping by in an hour to get some of her stuff. I'll be here... What to do...

Ursus Horribilis

Don't have sex with her, whatever you do. And no, I am not trolling.

Tell me how

Kirby42 wrote:

She's a nice girl, really. I'm far from perfect myself. Some of the digs are warranted I'm sure. She's popping by in an hour to get some of her stuff. I'll be here... What to do...

Don't be there. She can drop the key in the letter box.

Go away for the weekend, if you can. If not, maybe a day trip to distract yourself.

Read point 3 from your OP 100 times.

Don't change your mind.

Ursus Horribilis

Tell me how wrote: »

Don't be there. She can drop the key in the letter box.
.

Better idea. And take away with you anything of value, including your passport. You really don't know what frame of mind she'll be in.

Ursus Horribilis

You'd not be human if you weren't devastated. Especially as you love this girl, despite the nasty side to her. So what if you're no angel yourself. That still does not warrant those digs. You don't deserve them and you shouldn't have received so many of them you needed to have space. And let's not forget - you weren't as attracted to her as it was. So really, if you can get out of there before she comes, do. You're in a vulnerable place at the moment and you could easily say or do something you shouldn't.

Colser

I can't remember you're other threads but tbh I can see myself throwing the digs about the language/holiday romance if I was in her situation also.Why did you refuse to let her kiss you on the forehead and then text her this morning that you love her and will always care for her?Very mixed messages to be sending her. I'

Kirby42

Colser wrote: »

I can't remember you're other threads but tbh I can see myself throwing the digs about the language/holiday romance if I was in her situation also.Why did you refuse to let her kiss you on the forehead and then text her this morning that you love her and will always care for her?Very mixed messages to be sending her. I'

Technically I said 'loved'. Past tense

Rekop dog

You said you both decided to go your separate ways but her reaction suggests you ended it. I'm not sure what you're expecting from her after that, you've rejected her, she's obviously going to be hurting. You're coming across really insecure imo, despite ending it for pretty valid reasons you seem to want her to vindicate the time you spent together as amazing. You're completely mindfu**ing her imo.

Kirby42

So she came by. We drank tea, we cried, she apologised for being a b**ch (her own words), I apologised too.

We made up, we want to give it another shot. It's been a hard 24 hours for both of us. She said she cried all day and her mother called her an idiot for what she said. It's hard for me to imagine living here without her. Maybe I'm just trying to avoid the heartache? She agreed to take the relationship a bit slower. I'm still going to Ireland tomorrow. The break would be good for both of us. We still want to recapture that passion and spark we had at the start of the relationship though. Is it normal for that to eventually die down with couples? How long does it usually last?

retro:electro

Ah jaysus. Are you one of those people who just breaks up with people to provoke a bit of drama and play games?

Kirby42

anna080 wrote: »

Ah jaysus. Are you one of those people who judy breaks up with people to provoke a bit of drama and play games?

No.

Mongfinder General

Kirby42 wrote: »

She's a nice girl, really. I'm far from perfect myself. Some of the digs are warranted I'm sure.
She's popping by in an hour to get some of her stuff. I'll be here... What to do...

That's bull**** man. You were on the front line. It's as much on her as it is on you. Love will make you do fcuked up things...

zoobizoo

You don't speak the same language, she criticises you a lot, you aren't attracted to her anymore and the spark is gone......

........ and you want to give it another go to ...... what you have there is the "I love you and because I said it, it means that we can get through this" mentality...

Because saying "I love you" far outweighs the facts: You don't speak the same language, she criticises you a lot, you aren't attracted to her anymore and the spark is gone......


When you do eventually break up again, and at some stage when you're going out with someone with whom you can communicate with, who doesn't criticise you all the time and who you are attracted to, you'll look back and figure out for yourself why it never worked out between you.

Save yourself the delay and finish it now.

Ursus Horribilis

I just KNEW this was going to happen. Bad bad decision Kirby. Don't get her pregnant for god's sake.

Kirby42

Even if I sound like an immature idiot to a lot of you, I appreciate your advice so thank you.

Maybe you folks are right about things. I hope that you're wrong.

She bought a new apartment and it'll be ready for living around the same time I return from Ireland in 2.5 weeks. She's gonna stay at my place in the meantime. This was our original plan and it's good, because being homeless in this country would be a nightmare. I leave tomorrow. We'll see how we deal with being apart for a short time.

silverharp

whatever you do think with your big brain. Is she an EU passport holder? If not at least mull over whether she might think you are her ticket to the west which is not a good reason to be with someone. Also if you can only see yourself married at 30 say and she is culturally geared for it to be as soon as possible stay safe with regards contraception and have control on your side.
I'd see the language thing as being an issue , if you want to come back to Ireland it sounds like you would be expected to support her as she wouldn't be able to work. its kind of hard to get started in somewhere like Dublin on one salary. And otherwise consider what is good for your career, can you make it in her country or would you have to settle and do something outside your training?

Ursus Horribilis

What I don't get is why
1. You are less attracted to her than you were.
2. She makes so many digs at you that you have to get away for space.
3. You aren't sure if you want to continue living in her country.
4. There's a language barrier.
5. She has marriage in her sights. You're not ready
6. Are you really that happy in her country?
7. She's not on the pill. Beware of Baby Kirbys. I'm not joking or trolling.

Be very very careful. You got back with her out of loneliness and desperation. I hope you don't live to regret this.

Dravokivich

So... she gets a free place to stay while you're away?

Ursus Horribilis

Kirby42 wrote: »

I leave tomorrow. We'll see how we deal with being apart for a short time.

Well, it means you won't be miserable on your holiday home, won't it! What a waste that'd be.

zoobizoo

I think many of us have been in relationships where we think "why isn't this working?...... we love each other"



It's convenient for you that she is moving into a new apartment.


Is part of the problem here you being fearful of being in a foreign country with no one close to you there? What happens if you break up - you;ve said yourself that you'd be homeless. Will I have to move home? What will that mean?

Kirby42

silverharp wrote: »

whatever you do think with your big brain. Is she an EU passport holder? If not at least mull over whether she might think you are her ticket to the west which is not a good reason to be with someone. Also if you can only see yourself married at 30 say and she is culturally geared for it to be as soon as possible stay safe with regards contraception and have control on your side.
I'd see the language thing as being an issue , if you want to come back to Ireland it sounds like you would be expected to support her as she wouldn't be able to work. its kind of hard to get started in somewhere like Dublin on one salary. And otherwise consider what is good for your career, can you make it in her country or would you have to settle and do something outside your training?

She's not an EU passport holder and the thought of leaving her country terrifies her so I'd like to banish any ideas about an EU ticket right now.

We are very safe with regards birth control. 30 is just a number I have in my head for marriage cause that's when my parents got married. They were together for 3 years.

I'm trying to teach her English and she understands it's importance.

To be honest, after looking at rent prices recently in Dublin I don't think I'll be living there anytime in the near future.

I have the experience and qualifications necessary to make a decent living in this country. Nothing as good as Ireland of course, but decent.

zoobizoo

How fluent are you in her language?

Ursus Horribilis

Being "terrified" of leaving her home country translates as never going to leave. So if you have any doubts whatsoever of living forever in a foreign country far from home, in a culture that you have trouble with and living day to day with a foreign language, don't do anything to tie you to there. Parking it for a year or two is naive in the extreme.

Kirby42

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

What I don't get is why
1. You are less attracted to her than you were.
2. She makes so many digs at you that you have to get away for space.
3. You aren't sure if you want to continue living in her country.
4. There's a language barrier.
5. She has marriage in her sights. You're not ready
6. Are you really that happy in her country?
7. She's not on the pill. Beware of Baby Kirbys. I'm not joking or trolling.

Be very very careful. You got back with her out of loneliness and desperation. I hope you don't live to regret this.

1. I don't know either.
2. She acknowledges this and wants to change. Some of these digs are warranted I assure you and I deserve them.
3. We're both aware of this. It's a fear.
4. It's easier every day.
5. She doesn't want to be married until 2018 at least. That's quite some time.
6. This is the most beautiful city in the world. But life here is proper tough at times.
7. Not every woman reacts well to the pill. But we are safe and responsible with other methods.

kylith

Why would she be homeless? She has a family. Couldn't they put her up for a fortnight?

Kirby42

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Being "terrified" of leaving her home country translates as never going to leave. So if you have any doubts whatsoever of living forever in a foreign country far from home, in a culture that you have trouble with and living day to day with a foreign language, don't do anything to tie you to there. Parking it for a year or two is naive in the extreme.

I was terrified of leaving Ireland too, but I did it. Under no circumstances will I live here for the rest of my life. She knows that and she doesn't want to stay here forever either. But for now, it's her home and she's happy.

Kirby42

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Being "terrified" of leaving her home country translates as never going to leave. So if you have any doubts whatsoever of living forever in a foreign country far from home, in a culture that you have trouble with and living day to day with a foreign language, don't do anything to tie you to there. Parking it for a year or two is naive in the extreme.

I was terrified of leaving Ireland too, but I did it. Under no circumstances will I live here for the rest of my life. She knows that and she doesn't want to stay here forever either. But for now, it's her home and she's happy.

Kirby42

kylith wrote: »

Why would she be homeless? She has a family. Couldn't they put her up for a fortnight?

They live on the other side of the world. She's only been in this city for 2 months longer than I have.

Ursus Horribilis

Does she believe you now when you say you didn't cheat on her after your flatmate's consquest's underwear got mixed up with your laundry?

Kirby42

zoobizoo wrote: »

How fluent are you in her language?

I can manage fine day to day mostly. I understand her very well because I'm so used to her voice.

Kirby42

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Does she believe you now when you say you didn't cheat on her after your flatmate's consquest's underwear got mixed up with your laundry?

That whole argument lasted 2 hours. Ancient history and we laugh about it now and tell our friends.

Alf Veedersane

OP, I get where you're at and why.

But your OP tells a different story.

I'm not going to tell you why you are probably wrong to be on the course you are but I wish you well and hope I'm very very wrong. Don't think I am but for your sake I hope I am.

Best of luck.

Kirby42

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

OP, I get where you're at and why.

But your OP tells a different story.

I'm not going to tell you why you are probably wrong to be on the course you are but I wish you well and hope I'm very very wrong. Don't think I am but for your sake I hope I am.

Best of luck.

Thanks, I hope you're wrong too
Rereading the 6 points there form my OP... There's only 1 or 2 which really concern me. I guess even 1 could be considered enough to end it. I'm going to give it one more whirl. Who knows, maybe it will work out great or maybe we'll have to end it. If it's the latter, I hope we can do it like sensible adults and not have a repeat of that horrible crying match last night.

Alf Veedersane

Kirby42 wrote: »

Thanks, I hope you're wrong too
Rereading the 6 points there form my OP... There's only 1 or 2 which really concern me. I guess even 1 could be considered enough to end it. I'm going to give it one more whirl. Who knows, maybe it will work out great or maybe we'll have to end it. If it's the latter, I hope we can do it like sensible adults and not have a repeat of that horrible crying match last night.

It reads as.something very familiar. Not abroad but the same kind of questions. I know I would have jumped at the chance to reconcile after we broke up but it would have been the wrong option.

I appreciate your position but I totally get why you're doing what you are. If it's wrong and there are only two of you in it, valuable lesson learned.

batmanrobin

Kirby42 wrote: »

That whole argument lasted 2 hours. Ancient history and we laugh about it now and tell our friends.

Only 2 hrs? Really? You made it sound like it was a saga, but then most of your posts are coming across as incredibly melodramatic.

You opened this saying you had broken up and listed all the reasons why (all legitimate reasons) and then continued on to say how devastated you were. Now upset I could appreciate, but devastated? Over someone you're not even really attracted to?

I'm not even sure why you started this thread. You would have gotten plenty of good advice in your other ones.

The pair of you don't sound mature enough for a relationship, quite honestly.

Kirby42

batmanrobin wrote: »

Kirby42 wrote: »

That whole argument lasted 2 hours. Ancient history and we laugh about it now and tell our friends.

Only 2 hrs? Really? You made it sound like it was a saga, but then most of your posts are coming across as incredibly melodramatic.

You opened this saying you had broken up and listed all the reasons why (all legitimate reasons) and then continued on to say how devastated you were. Now upset I could appreciate, but devastated? Over someone you're not even really attracted to?

I'm not even sure why you started this thread. You would have gotten plenty of good advice in your other ones.

The pair of you don't sound mature enough for a relationship, quite honestly.

Maybe you're right and I am indeed an immature idiot. Perhaps to you my relationship issues sound melodramatic and benign, but to me they are disconcerting and upsetting. I was hoping that this section of boards would be a place to receive advice and support. Perhaps I was wrong as some seem quite eager to critique even they do not have the full picture of my situation.

I'm probably being too emotional about the whole thing. Maybe I can't muster up the courage and coldness required to hit the nail on the head and end it. If you find my posts theatrical or historic and don't really have anything positive advice to offer, then there's no real need to post.

Kirby42

batmanrobin wrote: »

Kirby42 wrote: »

That whole argument lasted 2 hours. Ancient history and we laugh about it now and tell our friends.

Only 2 hrs? Really? You made it sound like it was a saga, but then most of your posts are coming across as incredibly melodramatic.

You opened this saying you had broken up and listed all the reasons why (all legitimate reasons) and then continued on to say how devastated you were. Now upset I could appreciate, but devastated? Over someone you're not even really attracted to?

I'm not even sure why you started this thread. You would have gotten plenty of good advice in your other ones.

The pair of you don't sound mature enough for a relationship, quite honestly.

Maybe you're right and I am indeed an immature idiot. Perhaps to you my relationship issues sound melodramatic and benign, but to me they are disconcerting and upsetting. I was hoping that this section of boards would be a place to receive advice and support. Perhaps I was wrong as some seem quite eager to critique even they do not have the full picture of my situation.

I'm probably being too emotional about the whole thing. Maybe I can't muster up the courage and coldness required to hit the nail on the head and end it. If you find my posts theatrical or hysterical and don't really have anything positive to offer, then please, there's no real need to post.

Kirby42

I also can't seem to stop double posting for some reason either. Curses.

batmanrobin

Kirby42 wrote: »

Maybe you're right and I am indeed an immature idiot. Perhaps to you my relationship issues sound melodramatic and benign, but to me they are disconcerting and upsetting. I was hoping that this section of boards would be a place to receive advice and support. Perhaps I was wrong as some seem quite eager to critique even they do not have the full picture of my situation.

I'm probably being too emotional about the whole thing. Maybe I can't muster up the courage and coldness required to hit the nail on the head and end it. If you find my posts theatrical or hysterical and don't really have anything positive to offer, then please, there's no real need to post.

So you only want people who will tell you to stay in the relationship to post?

You're not even sure you're really attracted to her? You're only together 10 months (a VERY short time) and you've already posted on here three times about your relationship and you've broken up once. She takes digs at you and you think that's acceptable cos "you have faults".

Come on, OP. There is loneliness and there is insanity and this "relationship" is the latter. For your own sake, please be extremely careful and use contraceptives. This isn't a healthy relationship and the last thing you should do is run the risk of trapping yourself.

njs030

In your first post you said you're not attracted to her. Has that magically changed overnight?

Also that's possible that the pill doesn't suit every woman, but there's hundreds of different types of pills or safer alternatives like implants, injections, patches etc. The coil doesn't have hormones to react to.

If she claims ALL these don't suit her be very very wary.

clairewithani

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I just KNEW this was going to happen. Bad bad decision Kirby. Don't get her pregnant for god's sake.

Kirby, really. This is serious.

tara73

OP, this 'relationship' is doomed to fail. I give it another few weeks or even only days and you'll be at the same point as you were before. At the drama.

You are decided to stay together with her for the sole reasons of convenience, which are: not wanting to be alone, having some security and not being homeless!! The last ones are your own words. I don't know if the others missed it but you said she bought (!) an apartment, so when you get back from Ireland to this country you won't be homeless.

I think this says it all...

LegacyUser

You seem so full of doubts about the whole thing, but she is to some degree your rock in a foreign country where you have not many good friends I would suspect, and you feel you need her because she's like your home over there. That's why it's so intense and so much over analysis, because there's a lot banking on your relationship for different reasons and those don't include compatibility or romance, but mainly dependance. She wants marriage and babies, while she's your only companion and understands you the most in a foreign country and provides you some stability there.
Attractions waxes and wanes that's for sure. If a couple aren't really getting on, sorry for generalizing but men do seem to need space because they don't know immediately how to fix it which is what they want to do. Women want to talk it out. So it's natural enough when you're pissed off you want a bit of space. But after a relatively short time together there's been a lot of drama and unhappiness, which is the reason nobody here nor you (if you were really honest with yourself) see it working out. Please don't let loneliness or neediness keep you in an unhappy relationship.

Skibunny77

notjustsweet wrote: »

In your first post you said you're not attracted to her. Has that magically changed overnight?

Also that's possible that the pill doesn't suit every woman, but there's hundreds of different types of pills or safer alternatives like implants, injections, patches etc. The coil doesn't have hormones to react to.

If she claims ALL these don't suit her be very very wary.

It frustrates me when men are warned to be wary of women who are reluctant to use hormonal contraception. Your advice is not accurate. Essentially you have multiple versions of combined contraception (the pill/the patch/the ring), progesterone only (minipill/iud/injection/implant) or the copper coil (most coils actually do have hormones, the copper doesn't but has notorious side effects). Many women experience bleeding/acne/weight gain/mood changes on all forms of contraception. Simple health conditions (i.e blood pressure or migraines) can exclude lots of contraception options. Lots of my female friends can't use any form of hormonal contraception or the copper coil and/or find the side effects too difficult to put up with. The fact that a man should be advised to be wary of a woman who doesn't want to or can't use these options is simply offensive. Op, continue to use safe barrier methods. If your partner wanted to trap you, she could obviously just claim to take the pill..

njs030

Skibunny77 wrote: »

It frustrates me when men are warned to be wary of women who are reluctant to use hormonal contraception. Your advice is not accurate. Essentially you have multiple versions of combined contraception (the pill/the patch/the ring), progesterone only (minipill/iud/injection/implant) or the copper coil (most coils actually do have hormones, the copper doesn't but has notorious side effects). Many women experience bleeding/acne/weight gain/mood changes on all forms of contraception. Simple health conditions (i.e blood pressure or migraines) can exclude lots of contraception options. Lots of my female friends can't use any form of hormonal contraception or the copper coil and/or find the side effects too difficult to put up with. The fact that a man should be advised to be wary of a woman who doesn't want to or can't use these options is simply offensive. Op, continue to use safe barrier methods. If your partner wanted to trap you, she could obviously just claim to take the pill..

A coil was released this year that has no hormones and minimal side effects.

I am female and I can hand on heart say I've never met anyone who can't tolerate ANY form of contraception but if you have then I stand corrected

Skibunny77

notjustsweet wrote: »

A coil was released this year that has no hormones and minimal side effects.

I am female and I can hand on heart say I've never met anyone who can't tolerate ANY form of contraception but if you have then I stand corrected

I know many - through my work in health and also know many women personally who cannot tolerate contraception (due to factors as simple as recurrent and chronic thrush!) but perhaps here is a clearer example - I have one unlucky friend who has migraine with aura, can't use any combined contraception as a result, had constant breakthrough bleeding on all progesterone products, including the Mirena, switched to a copper coil which promptly embedded in her uterine wall, she required surgery to remove it and now relies on barrier methods. No woman should have to prove she can't use all forms of contraception!! As previously stated, the only hormone free coil/iud is the copper coil. You may be thinking of one of newer progesterone releasing iuds. I don't want to sidetrack the thread but feel such inaccurate judgements are very unfair on women like the Ops partner. It is certainly more common to tolerate some form of hormonal contraception but not uncommon not to tolerate any, a quick search on Google will highlight women's stories on this.

njs030

Skibunny77 wrote: »

I know many - through my work in health and also know many women personally who cannot tolerate contraception (due to factors as simple as recurrent and chronic thrush!) but perhaps here is a clearer example - I have one unlucky friend who has migraine with aura, can't use any combined contraception as a result, had constant breakthrough bleeding on all progesterone products, including the Mirena, switched to a copper coil which promptly embedded in her uterine wall, she required surgery to remove it and now relies on barrier methods. No woman should have to prove she can't use all forms of contraception!! As previously stated, the only hormone free coil/iud is the copper coil. You may be thinking of one of newer progesterone releasing iuds. I don't want to sidetrack the thread but feel such inaccurate judgements are very unfair on women like the Ops partner. It is certainly more common to tolerate some form of hormonal contraception but not uncommon not to tolerate any, a quick search on Google will highlight women's stories on this.

That's all correct but as you said it'd just dragging the thread off topic and Its just our opinions which we are equally entitled to.

The point was that in this particular instance the woman in question seems quite desperate to stay in the relationship, which isn't quite the same as your friends health condition.

Like every adult it's up to the op to make a decision.

Let's leave it there.

JellieBabie

notjustsweet wrote: »

A coil was released this year that has no hormones and minimal side effects.

I am female and I can hand on heart say I've never met anyone who can't tolerate ANY form of contraception but if you have then I stand corrected

Well I can't. Medically advised not to take ANY due to other medicines I have to take. So just because you don't know anyone doesn't mean it's the case. Quite insulting to warn people to be wary of women who can't take any form of the pill and to be honest just highlights a total lack of any medical knowledge.