Is anyone else a loner???

tomofson

Okay this isn't one of my usual something pops into my head so make a thread about it sort of thing.... I actually thought for a while whether it was a good idea to make a thread about it then just thought why not... A bunch of people I dont know might judge me on it big deal, maybe I will get through to someone...

I have been a loner, a misfit and an outcast for as long as I remember, I was never in the slightest bit popular and other kids would avoid me partly because of who my parents where, other kids parents would tell their children not to hang around with me (at least that's the impression I got). I am still a loner at 24 and probably will be for the rest of my life. I don't have any real proper friends, and few family that I talk to so I suppose that explains all the dumb threads I have been making....

However judging by the nature of the internet and the way these sort of sites work I could bet a wager on it I am not alone, though I may be one of the only ones who says it on a public forum but I have got to a stage where I don't care if people love me or hate me or even make fun of me. Especially not a bunch of anonymous people I will never meet in my actual life...

Some of you are loners on here I know the characteristics of these sites and this is not about ridicule or societies judgments of you. More just a question of how use all cope??? What do use do to get through the day??? How do use cope with not being particularly liked by anyone?

Feel free to make fun and insult if you want I always enjoy a good laugh, as long as it has a bit of intelligence in it...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

tomofson wrote: »

Okay this isn't one of my usual something pops into my head so make a thread about it sort of thing.... I actually thought for a while whether it was a good idea to make a thread about it then just thought why not... A bunch of people I dont know might judge me on it big deal, maybe I will get through to someone...

I have been a loner, a misfit and an outcast for as long as I remember, I was never in the slightest bit popular and other kids would avoid me partly because of who my parents where, other kids parents would tell their children not to hang around with me (at least that's the impression I got). I am still a loner at 24 and probably will be for the rest of my life. I don't have any real proper friends, and few family that I talk to so I suppose that explains all the dumb threads I have been making....

However judging by the nature of the internet and the way these sort of sites work I could bet a wager on it I am not alone, though I may be one of the only ones who says it on a public forum but I have got to a stage where I don't care if people love me or hate me or even make fun of me. Especially not a bunch of anonymous people I will never meet in my actual life...

Some of you are loners on here I know the characteristics of these sites and this is not about ridicule or societies judgments of you. More just a question of how use all cope??? What do use do to get through the day??? How do use cope with not being particularly liked by anyone?

Feel free to make fun and insult if you want I always enjoy a good laugh, as long as it has a bit of intelligence in it...

This. This is the all-freeing survival mechanism.

That said, I don't think there really are true "loners" - just people who haven't found their friends or the right tribe yet. Work out whatever you happen to be into - no matter how weird or niche - and seek out other people who like the same thing. Chances are they're "loners" too.

Snowfire

Don't worry bout it hitler and Stalin were loners also and they turned out OK.. Yea...?

tomofson

Snowfire wrote: »

Don't worry bout it hitler and Stalin were loners also and they turned out OK.. Yea...?

I think thats a misconception, I dont think loners would have the confidence to stand on stage and address the world with powerful speeches.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Snowfire wrote: »

Don't worry bout it hitler and Stalin were loners also and they turned out OK.. Yea...?

They also both had moustaches. Personally, I'd be more worried about that...

Roosterreid

tomofson wrote: »

Okay this isn't one of my usual something pops into my head so make a thread about it sort of thing.... I actually thought for a while whether it was a good idea to make a thread about it then just thought why not... A bunch of people I dont know might judge me on it big deal, maybe I will get through to someone...

I have been a loner, a misfit and an outcast for as long as I remember, I was never in the slightest bit popular and other kids would avoid me partly because of who my parents where, other kids parents would tell their children not to hang around with me (at least that's the impression I got). I am still a loner at 24 and probably will be for the rest of my life. I don't have any real proper friends, and few family that I talk to so I suppose that explains all the dumb threads I have been making....

However judging by the nature of the internet and the way these sort of sites work I could bet a wager on it I am not alone, though I may be one of the only ones who says it on a public forum but I have got to a stage where I don't care if people love me or hate me or even make fun of me. Especially not a bunch of anonymous people I will never meet in my actual life...

Some of you are loners on here I know the characteristics of these sites and this is not about ridicule or societies judgments of you. More just a question of how use all cope??? What do use do to get through the day??? How do use cope with not being particularly liked by anyone?

Feel free to make fun and insult if you want I always enjoy a good laugh, as long as it has a bit of intelligence in it...

Hi OP... can we ask why you think people would not hang out with you or were advised not to? Is it your personality / look or unknown factors?

Do you enjoy being a loner? I have very few close friends and as I get older, finding myself withdrawing from those that I have. I can be very social when I want to, but the mood seldom takes me.

Shint0

OP, it really depends on how much it bothers you just like any aspect of someone's life or personality. If it concerns you then you ought to do something about it. If it doesn't bother you then it matters not. People's opinions are just opinions.

tomofson

Roosterreid wrote: »

Hi OP... can we ask why you think people would not hang out with you or were advised not to? Is it your personality / look or unknown factors?

Do you enjoy being a loner? I have very few close friends and as I get older, finding myself withdrawing from those that I have. I can be very social when I want to, but the mood seldom takes me.

I said because of who my parents where I dont want to get into to much detail about them but I'm sure you understand...

Being a loner has its negatives and positives, its advantages and disadvantages. Whether I enjoy being a loner can really depend on the day and the mood I am in.

suicide_circus

No man is an island

Mark Tapley

tomofson wrote: »

I said because of who my parents where I dont want to get into to much detail about them but I'm sure you understand...

Being a loner has its negatives and positives, its advantages and disadvantages. Whether I enjoy being a loner can really depend on the day and the mood I am in.

I think your threads can be a bit earnest or navel gazing. You should throw in the odd one about naming your mickey after a film or something.

Wibbs

By the nature of the beast you're going to get more "loners" on a site like this. As well as more "nerds" and other social minority types(including the more extreme politically).

If you're content in your skin then play on. Sounds like you're not though. I have found few enough loners are and it's something foisted upon them rather than personally chosen. This can come out as invective towards the gregarious and extroverted.

I'd be behind what Princess Consuela Bananahammock said about finding your own bunch of fellow loners. You can be sure that they do exist. You're 24 now so your childhood and your parents are behind you as far as social interaction goes. Or should be anyway.

tomofson

Wibbs wrote: »

By the nature of the beast you're going to get more "loners" on a site like this. As well as more "nerds" and other social minority types(including the more extreme politically).

If you're content in your skin then play on. Sounds like you're not though. I have found few enough loners are and it's something foisted upon them rather than personally chosen. This can come out as invective towards the gregarious and extroverted.

I'd be behind what Princess Consuela Bananahammock said about finding your own bunch of fellow loners. You can be sure that they do exist. You're 24 now so your childhood and your parents are behind you as far as social interaction goes. Or should be anyway.

Thank you for those words and I do appreciate it, but your childhood always follows you. Its the most important years of your life as it shapes you for the future, those days are never truly "behind you"

FalconGirl

No but I wish I was at times. Really like my own company and am very independent. I must have the neediest friends ever and it drives me bananas.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

tomofson wrote: »

Thank you for those words and I do appreciate it, but your childhood always follows you. Its the most important years of your life as it shapes you for the future, those days are never truly "behind you"

Therein lies the other problem: people actually actively make you a loner by associating you with your family's past and then judge you for being a loner. It all becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I sorted that out by getting the **** out of Ireland. Live in Berlin now, which is perfect - there's no judgemenatlism or wagging chins, everyone gets on with their own busienss. Also, being a city full of weirdos and loners, everyone kind of fits in somehow and everyone finds something or someone to merge with.

Winterlong

I am definetly a people person. But I do need 'me' time every now and again.
Ideally a weekend on my own in a strange city. Time to decompress and be alone wiht my brain for company.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'm naturally an introvert. I need alone time. I don't see anything wrong with it either. I'm comfortable with my own company.

Pickpocket

I'm definitely a loner to a certain extent. I do have very close friends but I see them infrequently due to us all living in different parts of the country. I'm also in a long-term relationship so at times I probably appear to be a typical enough 31 year old.

However I really enjoy being on my own. Meeting up with my mates for a gig or just having a laugh on WhatsApp is all well and good, but my core enjoyment in life comes when I'm on my own, watching films, playing games, listening to music or just sitting down with my thoughts.

People that know me would call me 'odd', especially when I dissapear at a festival to be on my own for a while, or when I try to avoid a lot of social situations.

I've also moved in and out of various circles of friends throughout my life, so at first glance it might seem I'm difficult to get along with. But I'm still on good terms with all of these people and I would have drifted away from them voluntarily. But to some people it seems unusual and I've been told as much.

Througout a lot of that period I was experimenting with LSD and other drugs and at least one person told me that there's a general view that I became ****ed up during that period and just vanished because I was flat out taking stuff. In reality that whole period simply precipitated an interest in new areas of literature and music and my 'dissapearance' was just me finding all of that vastly more interesting than sitting in pubs listening to the same people tell the same jokes.

I tend not to self-psychoanalyse too much, but I had a very difficult childhood and my teenage years were deeply unhappy due to my family life, and I can see how certain negative, anti-social patterns that developed during that period became entrenched and ultimately made me who I am today, for better or worse.

So yeah, I'm a loner of sorts, but thankfully I've a core group of friends (four in particular, and two especially) who understand my problems and the space I need to be myself, even if it means only seeing each other a couple of times a year. And then there's my girlfriend who has been with me through various changes in moods, lifestyles and personalities.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

I am an introverted extrovert.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I would chat the hind legs off a donkey, I'm the queen of small talk. I spend all day having chats with random people and Jesus by the end of the day I'm withered, I just want to get home, hop in the shower and talk to nobody. Most weekends I'll spend at least one of the days doing stuff by myself.

southcentralts

Hi OP, I think you need to do a stint in sales. it does not matter what you sell, it is a great method of acquiring the skill of talking to absolutely anybody anywhere. I am now an introvert trapped in the body of an extrovert, all thanks to sales. I never did get any better at selling but instead of hiding in a corner during social gatherings, I compete for the centre of attention, then my introvert side recoils from it when i get it.

Sky King

There was a kid in my school who nobody hung around with because he was a loner.

There's some circular logic for you right there.

take everything

suicide_circus wrote: »

No man is an island

I'm fcuking Ibiza.

I love the way Hugh Grant's character lives in that film.

corner of hells

FalconGirl wrote: »

No but I wish I was at times. Really like my own company and am very independent. I must have the neediest friends ever and it drives me bananas.

Easily solved , why not "disappear" a few of you friends, It'll add to your mystique and exoctisism.

Lady is a tramp

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

This. This is the all-freeing survival mechanism.

That said, I don't think there really are true "loners" - just people who haven't found their friends or the right tribe yet. Work out whatever you happen to be into - no matter how weird or niche - and seek out other people who like the same thing. Chances are they're "loners" too.

Tribe, that's an interesting word to describe it ... I was in a DBT group earlier this year, for people who (like myself) are emotionally over-controlled, the psychologists running the group (all three of whom are also emotionally over-controlled) used to regularly describe our group as a "tribe". And it was very fitting. We were all very different people in the group, with totally different backgrounds and issues and personalities, but we fitted together really well. It was mad hearing other peoples thought processes and them mirroring mine so well! Made me feel less of a weirdo.

I'm a bit of a loner. I have a very caring family and several loyal and brilliant friends, but I just feel so drained when I'm around people too much. Drained, but edgy and impulsive too, so I can never relax. I'm pretty sure I was always that way, since I was a kid. I love my family and friends, but in moderation ... and it's not always easy for them to understand that! Can be suffocating lots of the time.

Wibbs

tomofson wrote: »

Thank you for those words and I do appreciate it, but your childhood always follows you. Its the most important years of your life as it shapes you for the future, those days are never truly "behind you"

Yes and no. Yes of course those years have an impact, but that impact can be changed to quite a large degree. It most certainly shouldn't be used as an excuse, which so many do.

It's a funny word 'loner'.

Introversion is a personality type where people love being alone. Large gatherings can drain them. After spending time in others company they need some space and time to recharge. Working in groups is not productive for them. Instead of being energised and motivated by being around others, the opposite tends to occur. Introversion is not being shy, having no social skills, feeling like an outcast, or being lonely. I often come across this misconception.

OP, if you are content as you are then try be more accepting towards yourself. If on the other hand it's a struggle then perhaps delve a little deeper. Ask yourself how does such a label serve you? Is it a habitual way of being that you just can't shake? You are young. Life can be simplified in to this; figure out who you are and who you want to be, then love yourself.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Trebor176

Maybe I am one. Sure, I get on well with people, and I have friends that I've made over the years. However, a good few of these have their own lives, such as being in relationships or are married, have kids, and don't all necessarily live in Ireland now. I enjoy a night out, but these are few and far between. I do like to get out and about anyway, even if it's on my own.

I am 30, I've never been in a relationship and have been on sod all dates, so I do have a feeling that not really being the most sociable person, or seeming that I have sod all friends has put dates off. I'm probably a bit shy and nervous at first in general, and don't have the loudest voice. Maybe I'm overthinking things like this.

With saying all the above, I am trying to change things. I want to join groups and maybe take part in a couple of short-term courses. I just think that being the age I am, I really need to change things about myself before it's perhaps too late. The whole single thing gets me down, I admit, and lately, I've felt that I need more friends, and have been trying to get back in touch with those on Facebook I might not have been in touch with in ages. I guess people just drift apart. Maybe it's not just me that has resulted in this, but I regret not having been more sociable in the past.

Pac1Man

Bit of a difference between being an actual loner and those who 'have some close friends, are in a long term relationship but like some time to themselves sometimes' !!

pappyodaniel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA19DJ5Onto

The Young Wan

That would be me. I can never seem to keep friendships going for more than a year. I haven't had a romantic relationship in four years, and even that only lasted four months at the time.

I was bullied and left out in school the whole way up, and to this day I don't know what I did to deserve it. But I do know I had 12 year old shouting "frigid" to me when we were in sixth class, because they were convinced no one would ever go near me.

I've always been alone. A while back, I decided to not text my friends first, and see would they get in touch with me. I quickly came to the conclusion I want people in my life, but no one wants me in theirs.

My loneliness and bullying has led to depression, and I've made attempts on my life before. At this point, I don't think anyone will notice I'm gone.

Triangle Bell

Triangle Bell wrote: »

The reason large gatherings drain introverts is because they are worried about what people think of them, they are trying to micromanage people's perceptions of them.

No I don't believe that is the case.

How about this; The reason large gatherings excite extroverts is because they are worried about what people think of them, they are trying to micromanage people's perceptions of them.

There are many many shades on the spectrum of introvert and extrovert. At the end of the day we are all individuals.

The Young Wan

The Young Wan wrote: »

That would be me. I can never seem to keep friendships going for more than a year. I haven't had a romantic relationship in four years, and even that only lasted four months at the time.

I was bullied and left out in school the whole way up, and to this day I don't know what I did to deserve it. But I do know I had 12 year old shouting "frigid" to me when we were in sixth class, because they were convinced no one would ever go near me.

I've always been alone. A while back, I decided to not text my friends first, and see would they get in touch with me. I quickly came to the conclusion I want people in my life, but no one wants me in theirs.

My loneliness and bullying has led to depression, and I've made attempts on my life before. At this point, I don't think anyone will notice I'm gone.

Can I ask what age you are?

The Young Wan

Deleted User wrote: »

Can I ask what age you are?

24

Kimbot

The Young Wan wrote: »

That would be me. I can never seem to keep friendships going for more than a year. I haven't had a romantic relationship in four years, and even that only lasted four months at the time.

I was bullied and left out in school the whole way up, and to this day I don't know what I did to deserve it. But I do know I had 12 year old shouting "frigid" to me when we were in sixth class, because they were convinced no one would ever go near me.

I've always been alone. A while back, I decided to not text my friends first, and see would they get in touch with me. I quickly came to the conclusion I want people in my life, but no one wants me in theirs.

My loneliness and bullying has led to depression, and I've made attempts on my life before. At this point, I don't think anyone will notice I'm gone.

The Young Wan wrote: »

24

Your username is apt in this case, your still young and you have plenty of time ahead of you to build up friendships/relationships so I wouldnt worry about it.
We are in an age where everybody is busy etc so dont seem to have time for anything outside their own little bubble. Most my friends I havent seen in approx 2 years but they do send texts etc just to see how I'm doing from time to time and when they are local will meet up. I went through all that with thinking people didnt want me in their lives etc until 2 years ago. Depression hit me bad and the lonely feeling got far worse but in time I have learned that unless you can enjoy your own company then not going to be happy.

The Young Wan

The Young Wan wrote: »

24

You need to take your time with yourself. Not having had a long relationship by the age of 24 isn't something to measure yourself by.

Bullying is a slow stripping away of your self-esteem, during your teenage years it is especially damaging. I was bullied too Young Wan.

Now you are a young adult and those eejits can't hurt you anymore. Don't replace them by hurting yourself x

luftmensch

Triangle Bell wrote: »

The reason large gatherings drain introverts is because they are worried about what people think of them, they are trying to micromanage people's perceptions of them.

I think you're confusing introversion with social anxiety. The two aren't interchangeable. A socially anxious person is actually fearful of large gatherings, mainly for the reasons you outlined above. An introvert meanwhile, may not be worried about social interaction, but it just requires a large amount of energy and can be mentally draining.

The difference between extrovert and introvert is one of energy. Extroverts are energised by social interaction and it excites them, while Introverts are exhausted by it and obtain energy from being alone.

The Young Wan

You know what? If my life going forward from now is anything like the one I've had before, when I get abandoned by every friend I make within 12 months, I don't want it.

The Young Wan

jonnycivic wrote: »

Your username is apt in this case, your still young and you have plenty of time ahead of you to build up friendships/relationships so I wouldnt worry about it.
We are in an age where everybody is busy etc so dont seem to have time for anything outside their own little bubble. Most my friends I havent seen in approx 2 years but they do send texts etc just to see how I'm doing from time to time and when they are local will meet up. I went through all that with thinking people didnt want me in their lives etc until 2 years ago. Depression hit me bad and the lonely feeling got far worse but in time I have learned that unless you can enjoy your own company then not going to be happy.

See I dont even get texts. So why bother staying where you aren't wanted.

Kimbot

The Young Wan wrote: »

You know what? If my life going forward from now is anything like the one I've had before, when I get abandoned by every friend I make within 12 months, I don't want it.

Think with a positive attitude and that wont be the case

Have you tried any hobbies etc to meet new people with the same interests as yourself?

The Young Wan

jonnycivic wrote: »

Think with a positive attitude and that wont be the case

Have you tried any hobbies etc to meet new people with the same interests as yourself?

Yeah. They all have cliques well established by the time I've started. Even in my local football club I was left outside when everyone else was laughing and joking together.

Kimbot

The Young Wan wrote: »

Yeah. They all have cliques well established by the time I've started. Even in my local football club I was left outside when everyone else was laughing and joking together.

Thats sometimes the way with people unfortunately. Have you tried any of the Boards social gatherings?

Can I ask, would you be a quiet shy person around others normally?

Trebor176

The Young Wan wrote: »

Yeah. They all have cliques well established by the time I've started. Even in my local football club I was left outside when everyone else was laughing and joking together.

There must be new seasons in football, though, like new teams starting. Perhaps you could get in with those. No hobbies tend to have everyone being well established. New people join groups and all that all the time. I have been in similar situations, but I've always managed to get talking to people. I wouldn't be the life and soul of any party by any means, but when I feel I can, I will just talk to someone. If it's about a course we're doing, I'll just ask how it's going for them and take things from there. A lot of these people will actually turn out to be pretty sound.

tomofson

I was a total loner layabout in school and much of college too. I was not well liked and perhaps a bit of an "odd" child. In college I was a couch layabout and preferred gaming at home than even going to college - let alone the social aspects of it.

And I - like you - convinced myself I was ok with it but in retrospect I was completely miserable with it. I broke out of it entirely around and just after the end of college - and quite suddenly and drastically too. I forced myself quite quickly to be _entirely_ different socially.

And the way I did that mostly was to not only be social - but to make myself the focus and core of the social circle. One example was that before gigs and shows by bands and singers I liked - I would use the bands website forum to arrange pre-gig meet ups in a near by bar. So not only was I social - I was the core that the people being social were operating around. I had no choice but to change and change big.

I wonder however that these lines in your post do not seem to gel together -

tomofson wrote: »

I have got to a stage where I don't care if people love me or hate me or even make fun of me.

tomofson wrote: »

More just a question of how use all cope??? What do use do to get through the day??? How do use cope with not being particularly liked by anyone?

- so in one breath you are saying you do not care that people like you or not. But in the next breath you are talking about "coping" with that. So perhaps much like I used to - you are not being entirely honest inside about how much it really does affect you - or how deeply.

There are people who go into solitude for weeks - months - even years on end and come out espousing all kinds of happiness and contentment. But such people appear to the be the exception. The rest of us are social creatures and not indulging that need in ourselves can be quite damaging.

One thing the writer Sam Harris once said that stuck in my head is that even _in prison_ they punish people by putting them in "solitary". What that means is that we are so much a social creature that we would even prefer the company of thugs - rapists - and murderers - than be forced to be alone. Even in a prison - solitude is a punishment.

tomofson wrote: »

I think thats a misconception, I dont think loners would have the confidence to stand on stage and address the world with powerful speeches.

Not sure on that one. Being on a stage or in front of a camera can be a "divide" in a way that allows entire loners to still be public figures.

Stephen Fry would be an example. He can get on television - on stage - or in front of a live audience. But before and after that job - he is locked away at home playing with the tons of gadgets he buys due to his shopping compulsion and addiction.

And I was reading Derren Browns books recently and he also comes across as a serious loner suffering from a lot of self hatred. And he knows it too. Yet he is a public figure.

And let us not even get started on Van Morrison, micheal Jackson and any other number of public singers who prefer a solitary life.

So yea I do not think being a loner and being a public figure are that mutually exclusive at all.

tomofson wrote: »

Whether I enjoy being a loner can really depend on the day and the mood I am in.

Indeed - I still have that in me too. I am _much_ more social and sociable than I was in my youth but there are still times when I just want to lock myself away and see no one.

That is harder now that I have partners and kids - but there still comes a day every month or two where I just need complete solitude.

But lots of people are like that. We all need our alone time at times. One of my partners for example 3 or 4 times a year will stick supplies and a tent on her back and go and run the Wicklow way or something and camp and run and read and cook all by herself for 3 or 4 days. And I know a lot of guys with sheds and garages and fishing and the like to just disappear on.

But as I said I still have that inside me - and I still have the things inside me that made me that loner too. The self doubts the self hatred the lack of self confidence.

I have controlled it - even harnessed it in some ways - but it is still there and the right thought - the right moment - can shoot it all to the surface again in an instant. Rarely now. Very rarely.

But it can just blow up again all at once and I have to put back in all the motions of reigning it back again and "fix" my thought processes. Thankfully I have the tools and techniques and procedures that work for me that allow me to do that faster and better than in the past.

tomofson wrote: »

Thank you for those words and I do appreciate it, but your childhood always follows you. Its the most important years of your life as it shapes you for the future, those days are never truly "behind you"

Well without knowing more (or in this case any) details about that I can not really comment much on it. But yes I think our childhood can follow us closely and we can not divest ourselves of it. But we can mediate how that childhood affects us and manifests in us. That we _can_ control to some degree.

And I have seen pretty much the exact same horror or difficulty in a childhood manifesting in two different ways in two different people for example. One person let it drag them down and hold them back. The other used it as a motivation and drive - along with a promise not to repeat the errors their own parents had ever made. So breaking the cycle became a goal in their life with any other.

If you ever want to elaborate on the details publicly or privately in messages - feel always welcome to do so! Not just welcome - but invited.

luftmensch

Triangle Bell wrote: »

Why would it require a large amount of energy if there is no social anxiety? You don't have to do anything, you can just chill.

Social anxiety is defined as the fear of being judged. It’s extreme self-consciousness characterised by a worry of being humiliated in front of others. One may be a non-anxious introvert and may love alone time and solitude, and yet remain comfortable being in the company of others. Not seeking out large gatherings is a preference and may, or may not be due to fear.

Anxiety is a disorder that can result in panic attacks, increased heart rate, sweating etc. as well as dreading social events for weeks before they take place. Introversion is a component of personality whereby one is drained by social interaction but not necessarily scared of it.

Not all introverts have anxiety. Although of course, one can be both an introvert and have social anxiety (this guy), but one could also be an extrovert and have social anxiety.

Prickly Pete

I'm a loner.

I find too much social interaction exhausting and don't socialise or have any friends outside of work.

I guess some peole ahve different personalities than others.

endacl

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

They also both had moustaches. Personally, I'd be more worried about that...

Stalin had an awesome 'tache.

:mad:

Aglomerado

Prickly Pete wrote: »

I'm a loner.

I find too much social interaction exhausting and don't socialise or have any friends outside of work.

I guess some peole ahve different personalities than others.

I'm an introvert, depressive too, but have a decent social life with a small but fun and reliable circle of friends, with whom I can talk about anything.

At work I'm not really bothered being social, I just go in, do the job, get paid and plan holidays and go to concerts. Had to join a couple of social things to make an effort and am in spite of myself enjoying the common interests we have.

I'm ok with giving presentations. Small talk irks me... don't want people cornering me with their treatise on last night's weather.

I live by myself and can't have it any other way!!! I need the time by myself to recharge.

Sometimes wish I was more social though, some of the best days I have a work are when I'm helping someone out with my experience/ knowledge.

NiallBoo

luftmensch wrote: »

I think you're confusing introversion with social anxiety. The two aren't interchangeable. A socially anxious person is actually fearful of large gatherings, mainly for the reasons you outlined above. An introvert meanwhile, may not be worried about social interaction, but it just requires a large amount of energy and can be mentally draining.

But why not both?

...yay!

tomwaterford

The Young Wan wrote: »

You know what? If my life going forward from now is anything like the one I've had before, when I get abandoned by every friend I make within 12 months, I don't want it.

Nothing wrong with being a loner btw....


Ya Just need better friends....of all the people in the world (outside my immediate family)....I've two people who I could call friends

One whom I grew up with (few weeks in difference)...and another whom I've not seen/met up with in weeks and is as bad as me for staying in touch


I've a rake of people who would loosely describe as acquaintances but I'm gone too old to be running around after people.....