Did exposing my piercing at work cost me my job?

Abetterman

So I have a nipple piercing for the past 10 years, just one of those things. I started a new job nearly six months ago and coming to end of by probation period. Thing is I was wearing a slim (not tight) fitting shirt during a meeting and my boss obviously saw the outline of the piercing and asked me about it in front of everyone. I was a bit dazed at the time and said nothing but I just opened the top two buttons of my shirt and showed it. This was received with silence, especially by my boss and some of the older men and women in the group. I remember the disgust in some faces. I am since getting indications that my contract will not be extended after my probation despite me getting good feedback previously. This turn of events seems to be resulting from me exposing my chest during the meeting but to be fair I think I was forced to. Should I make a case to HR, or should I just walk away? I don't see how I could really have offended anyone to the extent that my employment not be continued and feel that I'm being unfairly discriminated against. Have I a case here?

Tea-a-Maria

Discrimination? No. There's 9 grounds under which an employer cannot discriminate under Irish law and having a piercing isn't one of them. You've very few employment rights while you're still on probation.

While you're employer was inappropriate in asking about the piercing during a meeting, I don't think exposing your chest when asked about it was the best move. Why not just say it's a piercing without showing it?

If you do get let go, chalk it up to a bad experience and move on.

Ursus Horribilis

This is something that you probably will get better answers for in the Work and Jobs forum. Having said that, I'm not sure you have a leg to stand on. You might have had if you weren't on probation.

retro:electro

It was inappropriate of him to ask you about it but Jesus op what were you thinking getting it out and showing everyone!?
Also you weren't forced to, nobody said open up your top there and show us. I could ask you what you had for breakfast this morning; this doesn't stipulate you regurgitating it back up to show me.

Abetterman

anna080 wrote: »

It was inappropriate of him to ask you about it but Jesus op what were you thinking getting it out and showing everyone!?
Also you weren't forced to, nobody said open up your top there and show us. I could ask you what you had for breakfast this morning; this doesn't stipulate you regurgitating it back up to show me.

Oh I don't know. I was a bit dazed, but perhaps a bit of my wanted to shock him. He's a right prude.

Abetterman

So I have a nipple piercing for the past 10 years, just one of those things. I started a new job nearly six months ago and coming to end of by probation period. Thing is I was wearing a slim (not tight) fitting shirt during a meeting and my boss obviously saw the outline of the piercing and asked me about it in front of everyone. I was a bit dazed at the time and said nothing but I just opened the top two buttons of my shirt and showed it. This was received with silence, especially by my boss and some of the older men and women in the group. I remember the disgust in some faces. I am since getting indications that my contract will not be extended after my probation despite me getting good feedback previously. This turn of events seems to be resulting from me exposing my chest during the meeting but to be fair I think I was forced to. Should I make a case to HR, or should I just walk away? I don't see how I could really have offended anyone to the extent that my employment not be continued and feel that I'm being unfairly discriminated against. Have I a case here?

Stheno

You've no case employment rights in terms of unfair dismissal don't kick in until you've been there a year

wirelessdude01

So you got your nipple out during a work meeting in front of your boss and a load of others?

retro:electro

Abetterman wrote: »

Oh I don't know. I was a bit dazed, but perhaps a bit of my wanted to shock him. He's a right prude.

May I ask whether you are male or female?

LirW

I mean yes, it's inappropriate to ask but in all seriousness: I'm cool with pretty much everything, I had piercings myself in the past and my arms are quite heavily tattooed. For work I usually covered them when there was the need to do it (boss didn't mind at all). But why would you expose your nipple piercing in a meeting? There is no excuse for that and even though his comment was unprofessional, your response was beyond unprofessional as well.
You probably wouldn't stand a chance because they'll counter with something along the lines of inappropriate behavior.

Don't get me wrong: Boobs are amazing, I proudly wear a pair too. But for work, unless it is a requirement to expose yourself, the tiddies and buttocks stay in. Always. No exception.
I don't wanna say your boss is right, because he isn't (wth was he thinking) but you didn't do yourself a favor with this. Sorry mate.

hearmehearye

It probably did tbh.

LirW

I mean yes, it's inappropriate to ask but in all seriousness: I'm cool with pretty much everything, I had piercings myself in the past and my arms are quite heavily tattooed. For work I usually covered them when there was the need to do it (boss didn't mind at all). But why would you expose your nipple piercing in a meeting? There is no excuse for that and even though his comment was unprofessional, your response was beyond unprofessional as well.
You probably wouldn't stand a chance because they'll counter with something along the lines of inappropriate behavior.

Don't get me wrong: Boobs are amazing (men and women), I proudly wear a pair too. But for work, unless it is a requirement to expose yourself, the tiddies and buttocks stay in. Always. No exception.
I don't wanna say your boss is right, because he isn't (wth was he thinking) but you didn't do yourself a favor with this. Sorry mate.

AnonoBoy

You were "dazed" at work and decided that instead of answering a question about a piercing (which was none of their business) you'd just show your nipple to them?

Yup. That is what cost you your job I'd say.

From what you've said nobody forced you to expose your chest. You choosing to do so is bizarre to say the least.

What sort of reaction did you expect?

Wesser

I'm presuming since the ops name is abetterman that he is male.....

thomas anderson.

Male or female?

Tefral

Surely a male?!

Canadel

The boss shouldn't have asked you that in front of everyone else. Or at all. Possibly a case for bullying there.

But then again you probably shouldn't have shown everyone the piercing either.

Not necessarily discrimination under the law even if it is a case of discrimination on behalf of the company management.

LirW

Wesser wrote: »

I'm presuming since the ops name is abetterman that he is male.....

Just realized it, wanted to edit my post, double posted instead... I should probably go to bed

the_syco

Abetterman wrote: »

Thing is I was wearing a slim (not tight) fitting shirt during a meeting and my boss obviously saw the outline of the piercing and asked me about it in front of everyone. I was a bit dazed at the time and said nothing but I just opened the top two buttons of my shirt and showed it. This was received with silence, especially by my boss and some of the older men and women in the group.

Showing the piercing as opposed to telling them would be seen as unprofessional, especially if it was hidden in the first place.

If asked in future, just say it's a piercing. It's a conversation starter. Whipping it out unasked isn't recommended.

exaisle

Just as well it wasn't a Prince Albert.....

Stheno

You've no case, your and your supervisors behaviour are both questionable tbh.

I mean.. He probably asked out of pure interest brought on by the moment. I'd probably be the same, without any malice. It would be the same as being asked what my tattoo is by an employer. What I find very odd is the fact that you unbuttoned the shirt to show people. I mean, I'd have a similarly shocked face and it's not because I'm a prude, but because it's deeply unprofessional to do in a work environment.

What is your overall job performance like? Honestly though, I'd probably let someone go for doing that. Did you show them it in a sarky way? Your comment about wanting to cause a shock makes me think it was. This kind of attitude/behaviour is deeply undesirable.

Next time someone asks, just say, "oh, yea, I have a piercing" and just move on.

dreoilin

I mean, was there really any need to expose yourself like that?

That said, I don't see any grounds for fair dismissal.

Kettleson

"I am since getting indications"..etc

Could you elaborate on these indications?

wonski

Prohibition?

Do it once, it is a typo...


Twice or more in the same post? Probation is the word.

Merkin

You already have an open thread on this issue over in the Work & Jobs forum so I'm going to close this. You're clearly not at all au fait with the charter given your other abusive post so again, please go and have a read. Thread closed.

dudara

Moving this thread to Work Problems and merging with duplicate thread.

@Odus fell down - please do not tell the OP to start another thread in a different forum, as we can end up with duplicate threads, and hence clean up work for the mods. Instead, please use the Report Post function to alert a mod that a thread needs moving.

dudara

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Milly33

I was just thinking I hope, the answer is male but yes OP are you male or female? I wouldn't say like it was the greatest thing to do either by him or by you. You should have said nothing and if he wanted to bring it up again talk in private... Also I would not think it is grounds to loose your job, depends what kinda of a stickler he is though

Kimbot

Abetterman wrote: »

So I have a nipple piercing for the past 10 years, just one of those things. I started a new job nearly six months ago and coming to end of by probation period. Thing is I was wearing a slim (not tight) fitting shirt during a meeting and my boss obviously saw the outline of the piercing and asked me about it in front of everyone. I was a bit dazed at the time and said nothing but I just opened the top two buttons of my shirt and showed it. This was received with silence, especially by my boss and some of the older men and women in the group. I remember the disgust in some faces. I am since getting indications that my contract will not be extended after my probation despite me getting good feedback previously. This turn of events seems to be resulting from me exposing my chest during the meeting but to be fair I think I was forced to. Should I make a case to HR, or should I just walk away? I don't see how I could really have offended anyone to the extent that my employment not be continued and feel that I'm being unfairly discriminated against. Have I a case here?

No you do not have a case, you have not been told that they are not keeping you on after probation this is just the conclusion you are coming to and using the nipple piercing as an excuse. TBH I would just wait and see if I was kept on or not, if your not going to be kept on then ask them why so you can improve yourself in the future.

Walter H Price

think you might have had a case if you gone to HR to say you felt uncomfortable when he asked about it in front of everyone, but that horse probably bolted when you showed it to the room i'm afraid.

I saw in a previous post you acknowledged he was a prude so probably wasn't the best move given he was probably always gonna not find it a laugh. Been involved in a union in work for a while and to be honest with probation it can be hard to muster any sort of case really all the manger has to say is your not a right fit for the team etc and unless you have feedback from him formal as in in emails or writing it just descends in to he said she said and your contract wont be renewed anyway

think you might just have to swallow this one OP , Dust off the old CV and start job hunting , chalk it down as a lesson learned as in don't get your nipple out in a meeting in work in future :P

sierraecho

Just like Janet Jackson at the superbowl 2004 this is another career destroying nip slip.

Stealthfins

Are you serious ?

You could have laughed it off.
It could have been an inside button or something.

I hope it sorts itself out and you'll be OK.

Your probably a bit naive and didn't think before you did the superman rip off your shirt impersonation.

Were you drinking the night before or on the charlie ?

_Brian

Ignoring that you shouldn't have been asked if the first place.

Yes, your behaviour likely cost you your job. You need to learn som boundaries, your in a workplace not out for drinks with the lads.
If I were your boss I'd be thinking that you might just as easily have done this in front of an important client and cost the company serious revenue.
Actions that make you a potential liability will loose you a job or at least curtail your progress within a work environment.

Learn and move on.

You did it to your boss. That's the bit I can't get over. The very person that more or less decides whether your contract is renewed or not.

Jen44

LirW wrote: »

I mean yes, it's inappropriate to ask but in all seriousness: I'm cool with pretty much everything, I had piercings myself in the past and my arms are quite heavily tattooed. For work I usually covered them when there was the need to do it (boss didn't mind at all). But why would you expose your nipple piercing in a meeting? There is no excuse for that and even though his comment was unprofessional, your response was beyond unprofessional as well.
You probably wouldn't stand a chance because they'll counter with something along the lines of inappropriate behavior.

Don't get me wrong: Boobs are amazing, I proudly wear a pair too. But for work, unless it is a requirement to expose yourself, the tiddies and buttocks stay in. Always. No exception.
I don't wanna say your boss is right, because he isn't (wth was he thinking) but you didn't do yourself a favor with this. Sorry mate.

This really made me laugh!

2 stroke

How you handle an awkward situation has more impact on your continuing employment than anything you wear, I think that if your employer considered how you dressed inappropriate he would have had a private word or have had somebody speak to you on his behalf. Instead I recon he wanted to see how you would field such a question from a client.
You don't say what business you are in but considering how you did handle the situation, if they do keep you on, don't be surprised if your future is in packing or the loading bay. There aren't many jobs that want a nipple exposer on the front line.
Now why were you in a daze at work and does this happen often.

davo10

Op I think you are getting the reaction at work, and indeed on this forum, that you were looking for, to check the reaction of others to exposing your pierced nipple.

You did it to provoke a reaction from your "prude" boss and you probably were delighted with the silent/uncomfortable reaction, and I suspect you are not unhappy with the reaction here. It shouts that you are an exhibitionist who likes to watch how others react to awkward/inappropriate behaviour.

Given their reaction, I think you should start job hunting.

Misguided1

OP if you want to keep your job - speak to your boss and apologise for your behavior. Assure him it won't happen again and was out of character (assuming it was out of character of course;). If a woman had done that - she would've been fired on the spot.

LegacyUser

OP, what on earth were you thinking? You're as cracked as a brush! Neither of ye covered yerselfs in glory here - the boss certainly shouldn't have asked personal questions about your body at all, certainly not in front of an audience but jeez man, to open your shirt and put your nipple on display was beyond all. I'd say whether you're fired or not, that'll be a story doing the rounds at morning tea time for a few years to come.

I'd say your only hope of salvaging this situation is to arrange to meet your boss as soon as you can, apologise and promise that it such behaviour will not happen again.

To be honest the whole situation reminds me of this nugget of hilarity from Impractical Jokers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y15AiEeKxg0

Creol1

If you are a man, then exposing your nipple was not particularly inappropriate; even if you were a woman, dismissal is still wholly disproportionate.

We all have awkward situations and moments where we were a bit inept. They are part of life and people shouldn't have their lives ripped apart by dismissal for doing so.

davo10

Creol1 wrote: »

If you are a man, then exposing your nipple was not particularly inappropriate; even if you were a woman, dismissal is still wholly disproportionate.

We all have awkward situations and moments where we were a bit inept. They are part of life and people shouldn't have their lives ripped apart by dismissal for doing so.

Exposing your nipple in a pub or a beach is not inappropriate, exposing it at a business meeting is, it's all about context.

His life isn't being ripped apart, he may be let go during his probationary period. It happens, probationary periods allow employers to assess new employees, including their bahaviour and decision making.

Thoie

Is anyone else picturing the scene really vividly?

In the middle of a meeting, possibly with some fairly senior people, boss says "what's that?" and without saying a word an employee starts unbuttoning his shirt, pulls it to one side and shows people his nipple (and piercing).

I've seen plenty of piercings in a variety of body parts, but if a colleague started undressing in the middle of a meeting room, the look on my face would probably be a bit odd too. I'd think he was having some kind of nervous breakdown, and definitely wouldn't be recommending keeping him beyond his probationary period.

Creol1

Creol1 wrote: »

If you are a man, then exposing your nipple was not particularly inappropriate; even if you were a woman, dismissal is still wholly disproportionate.

We all have awkward situations and moments where we were a bit inept. They are part of life and people shouldn't have their lives ripped apart by dismissal for doing so.

I would say it's completely fair.

1) He is in a probationary period. We don't know anything about how the rest of the period was or what his attitude was like. Gotta be honest, judging by what he said and did, it makes me think he had a bad one.

2) He exposed himself to his boss. We don't know what the boss said, it could have been as simple as, "what's that?". While their curiosity was slightly inappropriate, the fact is that the OP acted in an extraordinarily unprofessional and unbecoming fashion in the office, in front of his boss and likely other senior figures.

If I were that boss, the OP would have put me in a position where I had to let them go.

OP, next time when you're on probation, act as good as you can. It'll make it slightly more difficult to let you go past this.

Dr Strange

We're not getting the full story. Did you lick your nipple during the meeting?

Nody

Mod:
Please keep answers constructive even if OPs post may have you question OPs claim. Please avoid any personal remarks and focus on the situation at hand as it has spawned a good discussion as such.

LoonyLovegood

OP, I have several piercings and tattoos and would never do that. In a professional environment, they're covered up and out of sight. It possibly did cost you your job, and I can't blame your boss, that's really unprofessional to do.

dinorebel

Any jobs going at your place?

Milly33

only for boobie catchers

selastich2

Abetterman wrote: »

Oh I don't know. I was a bit dazed, but perhaps a bit of my wanted to shock him. He's a right prude.

Your attitude here is not very becoming. A work environment is not the place to flaunt sexuality or openess or anything else. It's to work, unless in certain industries.

You wanted to shock him, you did, now there are consequences and unfortunately it may be your job. You could approach him and acknowledge your conduct was totally in appropriate, but I'd say your on the way out. Still being in your probationary period allows them to let you go .

Stealthfins

Remember that scene in Jaws where they were down the cabin comparing scars and war stories.....

Was it like that ?