Farting in the sack

Jim Bob Scratcher

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

cheif kaiser

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

Depends entirely and whether you want to get her in the sack a second time. I would say your chances are slim to none!

gifted

Women don't fart in the bed???? :eek:

Jim Bob Scratcher

gifted wrote: »

Women don't fart in the bed???? :eek:

I'm the one who farted, but i have heard in the past that women do fart in the bed, though it could be an urban legend.

Jim Bob Scratcher

cheif kaiser wrote: »

Depends entirely and whether you want to get her in the sack a second time. I would say your chances are slim to none!

So what you're trying to say is I've blown my chance ? :pac:

cheif kaiser

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

So what you're trying to say is I've blown my chance ? :pac:

I would saw that you have well and truly blown your chance!:D

Roger Hassenforder

cheif kaiser wrote: »

I would saw that you have well and truly blown your chance!:D

Unless she's into Dutch Ovens...

CruelCoin

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

My fiancee lost her sense of smell in a car crash, so now i just let rip wherever i am around the house, bed included.

Best

Thing

Ever

Barry Badrinath

CruelCoin wrote: »

My fiancee lost her sense of smell in a car crash, so now i just let rip wherever i am around the house, bed included.

Best

Thing

Ever

Can she not taste it?

Eeewwww

Barry Badrinath

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

Was it a small weak one or a big thunder ass cheek clapper?

Either way, you disgust me OP

CruelCoin

McGruber wrote: »

Can she not taste it?

Eeewwww

Her sense of taste is developing rapidly.

I let a long violent silent one recently, and she was there moving her mouth and saying she could taste something funny, cat and dog had already fled the room at this point.

I'll have to have a really dodgy kebab and she if she tells the difference.

cowboyBuilder

McGruber wrote: »

Was it a small weak one or a big thunder ass cheek clapper?

Either way, you disgust me OP

:D:D:D

Brilliant, I will be using that one in future

I read this as "farting in the sink".

Mint Sauce

Nothing more satisfying than letting a huge one rip under the covers.

Obviously have to pick your moments, like when she is in the bathroom.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Deleted User wrote: »

I read this as "farting in the sink".

Must try it sometime

LightsStillOn

Great move to use if you're in bed with someone and you don't want to see them again. Let one off and trap her under the covers, don't have to worry about that overly clingy one night stand ever again

Barry Badrinath

LightsStillOn wrote: »

Great move to use if you're in bed with someone and you don't want to see them again. Let one off and trap her under the covers, don't have to worry about that overly clingy one night stand ever again

But, but, but....what if she does it back?!

:eek:

PARlance

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

Happened me last night too. The bird wasn't impressed but she's gotten used to it after 5 years married to me.

LightsStillOn

McGruber wrote: »

But, but, but....what if she does it back?!

:eek:

Then you've underestimated her and she might be a keeper :pac:

Grab All Association

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

Hi Brian

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=97241674&postcount=1

Barry Badrinath

LightsStillOn wrote: »

Then you've underestimated her and she might be a keeper :pac:

Unless a malteaser popped out!


Eeewww

KERSPLAT!

And that's enough internet for the night, sound McG!

Barry Badrinath

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

And that's enough internet for the night, sound McG!

Sorry

It's ok, I'll go.

Night folks

Xxx

KERSPLAT!

/blows kiss

Xxx

voz es

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip.

The thing about it is its all about timing. The potentially anti social things you do normally should be toned back for the first few dates. Most people hold a lot back of themselves initially, so basically with any possible irritants just half it, people expect that. Now there is no such thing as half a fart as we all know.....

Possibly in a few months she will be calling her own LITTLE releases 'lady puffs' and your being an twat''pretending'' there is a smell........

Esel

'Burglar fart' for maximum effect.

Stigura

Makes me giggle when I peel off such a stinking rip that it creates the 'Explosion In A Dog Factory' effect. Dogs bolting from the bed. Dashing round the room. Yelping and snapping at the air.

Only trouble is? Then, as I lay there sniggering, the toxic cloud seeps up from under the quilt. And I'm like; " Jayyyyysuss Fcuking Chryyystt!!! ". Thrashing around. Trying to draw breath myself!

Another own goal.

Billy86

Always be sure to get in the big spoon first, then pin her wrists and ankles down before letting out. If you can lift the sheet just a tiny bit under her chin, you're golden.

And single.

Still worth it, though.

McChubbin

McGruber wrote: »

Unless a malteaser popped out!


Eeewww

Oh, jaysus! Ye durt burd, ye! I laughed so hard at this I got tears in my eyes!:D

Esel

Stigura wrote: »

Makes me giggle when I peel off such a stinking rip that it creates the 'Explosion In A Dog Factory' effect. Dogs bolting from the bed. Dashing round the room. Yelping and snapping at the air.

Only trouble is? Then, as I lay there sniggering, the toxic cloud seeps up from under the quilt. And I'm like; " Jayyyyysuss Fcuking Chryyystt!!! ". Thrashing around. Trying to draw breath myself!

Another own goal.

I have always thought that one's own posterior gaseous emanations were never disgusting to oneself.

Stigura

Esel wrote: »

I have always thought that one's own posterior gaseous emanations were never disgusting to oneself.

You've never drunk my home made stout and eaten one of my chilli's!!!

Ruu

Must be that bean I had.

rawn

I'm a woman and i fart like a tugboat in bed. It's my sexiest move.

Stigura

topmanamillion

Best thread ever!

I'd be careful about the Dutch ovens, I was going out with a lass years ago and I could feel a fire breathing fart coming on so I threw the covers over her and let rip.

She hadn't told me she was genuinely claustrophobic.

She panicked under the covers and flung her elbow into my mouth and split my lip.

The result was her close to tears, my lip pumping blood and the smell of the previous nights Indian fueled noxious gas filling the room.

Esel

Ruu wrote: »

Must be that bean I had.

Never try to flick a Malteser. Trust me on this.

CruelCoin

I think this is rather fitting

Fine to do it in the sack is there is some artistry to it

ToddyDoody

A related question. Anyone ever have the pleasure of hearing someone giving out stink about the smell you left in the toilet cubicle?

Esel

ToddyDoody wrote: »

A related question. Anyone ever have the pleasure of hearing someone giving out stink about the smell you left in the toilet cubicle?

Never heard of a courtesy flush?

petes

'the last night', when in time is this exactly??

ToddyDoody

Esel wrote: »

Never heard of a courtesy flush?

Post flush of course. (I wouldn't even have thought of not flushing)

Jim Bob Scratcher

petes wrote: »

'the last night', when in time is this exactly??

The night before the last night.

Esel

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Post flush of course. (I wouldn't even have thought of not flushing)

That is not a courtesy flush.

ToddyDoody

Esel wrote: »

That is not a courtesy flush.

Who has time for that?

Esel

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Who has time for that?

Yeah, it takes ages. :rolleyes:

ToddyDoody

Esel wrote: »

Yeah, it takes ages. :rolleyes:

Oh well, spilt milk.

Boom_Bap

Amateurs go for a Dutch Oven, pros can manoeuvre from a Dutch Oven to The Matador for the grand finale in a single fluid movement.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

rawn wrote: »

I'm a woman and i fart like a tugboat in bed. It's my sexiest move.

James Joyce would love you.

Estrellita

Several years with my OH, and he farts (if he really has to), then apologizes for it. I don't really mind to be honest. Although I never have farted around him, nor will I ever. I would die ten deaths if I ever let one slip out. He says he would pay good money to hear one

Esel

Sayings about farting:

My dad: "Better out than the doctor."

Friend: "Get out and walk!"

exaisle

Esel wrote: »

Sayings about farting:

My dad: "Better out than the doctor."

Friend: "Get out and walk!"

"Smell that and die for Ireland..."

"Good arse"