Can men and women ever just be friends?

spud82

Or do one of them always secretly have feelings for the other.

I had an argument with one of my , male best friends two weeks ago. He was acting really oddly and than mumbled something about how men and women couldn't be friends as sex always got in the way, and than he ran off. No word from him since

We have been friends for years and I hate not talking to him, I think our friendship is over

drunkmonkey

You could give him the loving squeeze to save your friendship.

spud82

haha i have a partner.


We have been friends for years but the last night he acted really odd, and then he just ran off in a temper

It wasn't me!

Yes, they can. Obviously. Anyone who thinks otherwise is mental.

GLaDOS

Yes, absolutely.

bodice ripper

If not, bisexual people are doomed.

spud82

Well last year my friend split from his long term gf, and since than he has opened up to me about how he feels. I set him up with my friend who he dated for a while but she got a job abroad and they split. Its just ****ty the way he was as he was really odd and moody

I have a lot of guy friends but he was my best one ;(

HensVassal

spud82 wrote: »

Or do one of them always secretly have feelings for the other.

I had an argument with one of my , male best friends two weeks ago. He was acting really oddly and than mumbled something about how men and women couldn't be friends as sex always got in the way, and than he ran off. No word from him since

We have been friends for years and I hate not talking to him, I think our friendship is over

Call him FFS!

nkav86

Yes, if they're both gay

spud82

HensVassal wrote: »

Call him FFS!

I did and texted and no answer. I called him several times and no fecking answer:mad:

It wasn't me!

spud82 wrote: »

I have a lot of guy friends

This kinda answers your own question, unless you're really wondering whether the rest are just waiting to ride you...

ToddyDoody

No.(a lecturer in college used to just write 'no' on your / my assignments)

The sexes need to be sectioned off from each other and only allowed meet at pre-approved events.

spud82

It wasn't me! wrote: »

This kinda answers your own question, unless you're really wondering whether the rest are just waiting to ride you...

Ok I guess what I was really asking was does my male best friend like me? Even writing it feels weird, He is like a brother to me.

spud82

spud82 wrote: »

I did and texted and no answer. I called him several times and no fecking answer:mad:

Give him space. He may have feelings for you or is a bit confused.

I do think it can be tricky at times. One of my best friends is a man. There is no ambiguity. Another good friend of mine I have slept with but there are no feelings for anything more to develop. I recently met another friend for a few drinks. We hadn't seen each other in about a year. A few drinks in and says he "you really do have fantastic boobs". We've also slept with each other.

So it depends on the dynamic I think.

hairyslug

ToddyDoody wrote: »

No.(a lecturer in college used to just write 'no' on your / my assignments)

The sexes need to be sectioned off from each other and only allowed meet at pre-approved events.

AKA swanky sex parties

Lucyfur

He's probably away riding your sister as revenge.

Be grand.

Buona Fortuna

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Yes, they can. Obviously. Anyone who thinks otherwise is mental.

Or getting ridden senseless by everyone they know:)

One eyed Jack

Lucyfur wrote: »

He's probably away riding your sister as revenge.

Be grand.

The OP will get a text in a while asking where did she leave the remote control...

ToddyDoody

hairyslug wrote: »

AKA swanky sex parties

Possibly. I know the ladies just love those

spud82

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Possibly. I know the ladies just love those

Maybe Ill just have a massive orgy with all my male friends, who is in?;)

Tipperary Fairy

spud82 wrote: »

Ok I guess what I was really asking was does my male best friend like me? Even writing it feels weird, He is like a brother to me.

Yeah obviously that's what you're asking.

Nobody here can tell you that, but it seems to be what you want to hear. Do you feel you need the ego boost?

ahnowbrowncow

Op from all your threads you come across as a complete drama llama.

corner of hells

spud82 wrote: »

I did and texted and no answer. I called him several times and no fecking answer:mad:

Put his number up here and we'll call him.

MadDog76

Deleted User wrote: »

Give him space. He may have feelings for you or is a bit confused.

I do think it can be tricky at times. One of my best friends is a man. There is no ambiguity. Another good friend of mine I have slept with but there are no feelings for anything more to develop. I recently met another friend for a few drinks. We hadn't seen each other in about a year. A few drinks in and says he "you really do have fantastic boobs". We've also slept with each other.

So it depends on the dynamic I think.

I'm calling bullsh1t on this ......... unless you have pictures??? :cool:

spud82

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

Yeah obviously that's what you're asking.

Nobody here can tell you that, but it seems to be what you want to hear. Do you feel you need the ego boost?

No anything but. I just am going through a lot at the moment and I just feel like **** at the moment, and loosing a friend is the last thing I need

jester77

Sure, just get the sexual tension out of the way first.

spud82

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Op from all your threads you come across as a complete drama llama.

I can't fecking help it

Do you think I want to attract drama? Because I don't/

I have been through a lot of **** the last few years and the only way I can deal with is talk about it. I kept the details of assault in for far too long and it was awful

No when I feel like **** or something happens I ask for advice, but I am having a ****ty time I can't help it.

Your Face

Not when I'm involved.

ToddyDoody

spud82 wrote: »

Maybe Ill just have a massive orgy with all my male friends, who is in?;)

Or you could just appreciate each other's bodies?

One eyed Jack

spud82 wrote: »

No anything but. I just am going through a lot at the moment and I just feel like **** at the moment, and loosing a friend is the last thing I need

Honestly, regardless of their gender, anyone who has been your friend for years, and walks out on you when you need them, probably wasn't going to be much of a help anyway. Hey, you've got plenty more friends, let him off and that's one less stress you have to deal with

pragmatic1

Yes and no. Friendships between men and women have definite time limits. When one is in a relationship the friendship is basically over due to jealously. I've had close female friends over the years but none as long as my male friendships.

MadDog76

Here's a fact/secret that most women don't know about ......... any, and every, man that is in your life has had at least one w@nk whilst thinking about f*cking you ........... that includes friends, husbands/boyfriends of the women in your life, work-mates, in-laws etc. ........ you're (hopefully!) safe from close blood relatives but they're the only exception.

I know that doesn't answer the original question but is something that women should keep in mind.

Tipperary Fairy

spud82 wrote: »

No anything but. I just am going through a lot at the moment and I just feel like **** at the moment, and loosing a friend is the last thing I need

Well then why jump to that conclusion? There could be a million reasons for him being off, most nothing to do with lusting after you.

MadDog76

MadDog76 wrote: »

I'm calling bullsh1t on this ......... unless you have pictures??? :cool:

I do have pictures. But not for you

spud82

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

Well then why jump to that conclusion? There could be a million reasons for him being off, most nothing to do with lusting after you.

Because of the way he ran off. He said I dont think men and women can be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way and then he ran off and left the pub living me siting there with my pint

Squall Leonhart

From experience, friends of opposite sex (assuming heterosexual) fall into one of the following ;

-One has/had feelings for the other
-Both have/had feelings for each other
-No feelings or desire of a relationship but one or both have/had a sexual attraction they have/occasionally do/will act on

I well believe there are friendships where these feelings or desires don't currently exist, but almost definitely something did in the past, whether one party was oblivious or not.

MadDog76

Deleted User wrote: »

I do have pictures. But not for you

Well in that case, I'm standing by my assumption that you are a liar ......... prove me wrong!

Tipperary Fairy

spud82 wrote: »

Because of the way he ran off. He said I dont think men and women can be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way and then he ran off and left the pub living me siting there with my pint

Just finished a long eleven hour day, I did read that part but immediately forgot it!
Fair conclusion so. It might be a bit of jealousy mixed up with loneliness given what you've said about recent events.

spud82

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

Just finished a long eleven hour day, I did read that part but immediately forgot it!
Fair conclusion so. It might be a bit of jealousy mixed up with loneliness given what you've said about recent events.

Sorry if that was snappy BTW. Didn't mean it.

One eyed Jack

spud82 wrote: »

Because of the way he ran off. He said I dont think men and women can be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way and then he ran off and left the pub living me siting there with my pint

It's what happened just before that is what you need to examine, not what happened after it. He's either been harbouring feelings for you for years, or he's sick of listening to you and looking for a way out.

StudentDad

spud82 wrote: »

Because of the way he ran off. He said I dont think men and women can be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way and then he ran off and left the pub living me siting there with my pint

As someone else said earlier, let him sort his head out. To my mind anyway there's no reason why men and women can't just be mates. This bloke definitely seems bothered by something. So, either let him be for a while or ring him and find out. I don't think obsessing and staring at a pc or other device will help all that much.

SD

Renegade Mechanic

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

Yeah obviously that's what you're asking.

Nobody here can tell you that, but it seems to be what you want to hear. Do you feel you need the ego boost?

Half wondering meself...

spud82 wrote: »

He's like a brother to me

Heh
Right. I'm guessing yer young. He's been following you around like a pup because hes stone, starking mad about you, but can't say it. Happens all the time.

spud82 wrote: »

I did and texted and no answer. I called him several times and no fecking answer:mad:

Leave him off so. In fairness throwing a wobbly over something not going his way is hardly an attractive trait anyway.

spud82

spud82 wrote: »

I did and texted and no answer. I called him several times and no fecking answer:mad:

How incredibly immature.

Even if he has decided to end the friendship, he should have the decency to say why or what has happened as he sees it.

Has happened to me, the sudden blanking, it's bloody annoying cos it's like they are blaming you for something.

MadDog76 wrote: »

Here's a fact/secret that most women don't know about ......... any, and every, man that is in your life has had at least one w@nk whilst thinking about f*cking you...

That sounds so grimly Freudian, reducing everything to sex. I have one very good female friend for years and no, have not done what you suggest is unavoidable.

corner of hells

MadDog76 wrote: »

Well in that case, I'm standing by my assumption that you are a liar ......... prove me wrong!

No she's not ... the pics are fine.

MadDog76

Deleted User wrote: »

That sounds so grimly Freudian, reducing everything to sex. I have one very good female friend for years and no, have not done what you suggest is unavoidable.

Go on outta that!!!

Robsweezie

Ewwww cooties

MadDog76

corner of hells wrote: »

No she's not ... the pics are fine.

I don't remember asking you .........

MadDog76

MadDog76 wrote: »

I don't remember asking you .........

Boys please.

MadDog76

Deleted User wrote: »

Boys please.

I'm gonna have to go on that Beers thing you're organising to see them, aren't I?

spud82

MadDog76 wrote: »

I'm gonna have to go on that Beers thing you're organising to see them, aren't I?

Can I gatecrash?:p:p

MadDog76

spud82 wrote: »

Can I gatecrash?:p:p

Sure ........... I'll be "friends" with both of you!