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What factors matter most in a relationship?

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Comments

  • #32
    Sapphire
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 390 ✭✭Sapphire


    thattequilagirl wrote: »
    Yeah, I wouldn't date him if there was zero attraction/chemistry. I did enjoy kissing him and when we fooled around a little bit he seemed like he knew what he was doing.

    Why not just enjoy it for what it is. Stop focusing on a relationship as a goal with this guy. Just date. Get to know him. Enjoy spending time with him. Fool around as much as you both want to. See where it leads. And if it fizzles out, its not because he was a dick or because you picked a wrong 'un. It would just be because long term it wouldn't work out for you two.

    I think a relationship is a lot like a road trip - like one of those cheesy movies where the characters get to know something about each other and themselves on the way. And like a road trip, sometimes a person can focus too much on the destination and forget to look out the window to enjoy the journey that they are taking. So focus on enjoying the journey with him instead and the rest will fall into place.


  • #33
    silverbolt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭silverbolt


    thattequilagirl wrote: »
    What is the most important thing in a relationship?

    I'm seeing a guy and I like him. We're compatible in a lot of ways, he's intelligent, sweet, funny and not bad looking (but not gorgeous)

    I have some doubts because I'm not massively attracted to him sexually. I enjoy kissing him (that's about as far as it has gone yet) and I would like to sleep with him, but the thought doesn't give me butterflies.

    He's so right for me in a lot of other ways, I feel like I should give him a chance. But I don't want to lead him on or waste my own time.

    I'm just not sure if fireworks are the most important thing, or if compatibility matters more in the long run?

    well it depends on what you want. Attraction can grow with time. It should also be pointed out that when all you have is passion and super hot sexual energy is that it burns out very quickly. If you have nothing other than that energy what can you build a relationship on?
    CaraMay wrote: »
    Ah you need to break that going out with dicks habit. It's just a waste of time. Il sure it's more thrilling to 'tame' a bad boy for you but where has it gotten you? To a point where a nice guy seems dull. It's time to do yourself a favour and give decent guys a chance

    That is a true point. The OP is used to the "danger" drama, and excitement element of it.

    At the end of the day its up to you OP - but people follow a pattern and certain people end up with certain types (i for instance always seem to end up with the damaged ones) unless they recognise and change this. Its partly why many abuse victims end up with another abuser.

    I think your judging too quickly and basing it off your past experiences. Give it time. If there is def no attraction at all then yeah your more friends than anything else.


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