Does this happen much?

racso1975

Was out for a few pints the other night with a friend. Just catching up and general chit chat. Got to asking him how the brother was etc turns out they had a falling out cause the brother was posting pics and videos online of girls he was having sex with!!!!!!

I thought this was so fuked up but according to the friend there is a few of them at it!!!!

Like what the fuk is wrong with people that you cant enjoy a shag without having to record it and post the girl all over the place? Obviously the worst part of it all is that they dont have the permission of these women I assume

Your Face

I knew one lad that used to do something like that. He had pictures on his phone to show people.

Penny Tration

Nasty, sh!tty thing to do. sounds like someone desperate for attention.

There are laws against this in the UK, I think they made revenge porn illegal lately. wonder what the legal situation is here?

armaghlad

I was with a girl recently who thought it would be hot to video proceedings... I said **** it why not; I haven't heard from her in weeks now. Was really odd

racso1975

Penny Tration wrote: »

Nasty, sh!tty thing to do. sounds like someone desperate for attention.

There are laws against this in the UK, I think they made revenge porn illegal lately. wonder what the legal situation is here?

I dont know much about that while having heard a lot about it. Is there a particular definition of revenge porn as had always assumed it was ex partners pissed that they had been dumped posting that stuff as opposed to one night stands?

PandaX9

racso1975 wrote: »

I dont know much about that while having heard a lot about it. Is there a particular definition of revenge porn as had always assumed it was ex partners pissed that they had been dumped posting that stuff as opposed to one night stands?

It's kind of an umbrella term encompassing any sexually explicit material be it photos/videos etc taken of an individual which may or may not have been taken with their consent.. Which is then uploaded online or otherwise publically distributed without their consent.

So could happen to anyone really and for a multitude of reasons, but it is most often done to shame, embarrass or harass the people portrayed.

Absolutely despicable thing to do.

Penny Tration

racso1975 wrote: »

I dont know much about that while having heard a lot about it. Is there a particular definition of revenge porn as had always assumed it was ex partners pissed that they had been dumped posting that stuff as opposed to one night stands?

Nope. It's the posting of sexual content publicly, without the participant's consent, generally with the intent of causing distress or embarrassment.

_Whimsical_

armaghlad wrote: »

I was with a girl recently who thought it would be hot to video proceedings... I said **** it why not; I haven't heard from her in weeks now. Was really odd

Does she have the video?
There have been 3 or 4 cases in the Irish media recently of men who have agreed to this and who then received threats to post the videos to social media and were blackmailed for money over it. I think there have sadly been 2 suicides of men who couldn't cope with the stress of it whose families have spoken out afterwards. It's really not smart for men or women to do this, particularly with strangers or people they don't know well.

lawlolawl

I fell out with a group of friends i'd had for over 15 years over this kind of thing. One fella was casually riding one of the girls in the group who had just gotten out of a serious long term relationship (kid, engaged, etc) and there was pictures taken and videos made as a kinky bedroom thing between the two of them.

Yer man was a barman and it turns out he was showing the videos and pics to half the town and now the girl can't show her face around there any more. It was a co-worker of hers that told her about it in the end because she felt so bad for her because she didn't have a clue what was going on.

I was ****ing raging over it (she has a kid and her family live in the town) and confronted the guy and the attitude was pretty much: "we were only **** buddies and it was a bit of fun, what's her problem?". The rest of the group backed him and basically said yer one was stupid for letting him take pics and video so she was in the wrong.

I don't talk to any of them any more, unsurprisingly.

racso1975

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Does she have the video?
There have been 3 or 4 cases in the Irish media recently of men who have agreed to this and who then received threats to post the videos to social media and were blackmailed for money over it. I think there have sadly been 2 suicides of men who couldn't cope with the stress of it whose families have spoken out afterwards. It's really not smart for men or women to do this, particularly with strangers or people they don't know well.

I saw a case of that where it was online stuff recorded then blackmail threats to pay or it gets posted sure a NI 16yr old killed himself over it!!!! There was an report on it during the week seems to be an escalation of the scammers

Just mad to think there could be a load of unsuspecting people out there who are actually up on porn sites.

My name is URL

lawlolawl wrote: »

there was pictures taken and videos made as a kinky bedroom thing between the two of them.

Yer man was a barman

http://i.imgur.com/Q1T9prZ.png

armaghlad

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Does she have the video?
There have been 3 or 4 cases in the Irish media recently of men who have agreed to this and who then received threats to post the videos to social media and were blackmailed for money over it. I think there have sadly been 2 suicides of men who couldn't cope with the stress of it whose families have spoken out afterwards. It's really not smart for men or women to do this, particularly with strangers or people they don't know well.

Yeah she does..but so did I, now deleted. It wouldn't really bother me to be honest. I'd be embarrassed, yeah, but at the end of the day it's just two adults having sex. We aren't from the same town or anything and sure we aren't even in contact any more. I do trust her enough though not to do anything sinister

biko

It's a really douchebaggy thing to do.
Unfortunately some guys are douchebags so they probably think it's a normal thing to do.

The funny thing is that if it happened to someone they care about they'd be up in arms over it, double standard dickheads.

Ruu

What?! I only tape for purely scientific purposes!


But really, sex is a private moment between me and the other imaginary girl in the room.

Penny Tration

lawlolawl wrote: »

I fell out with a group of friends i'd had for over 15 years over this kind of thing. One fella was casually riding one of the girls in the group who had just gotten out of a serious long term relationship (kid, engaged, etc) and there was pictures taken and videos made as a kinky bedroom thing between the two of them.

Yer man was a barman and it turns out he was showing the videos and pics to half the town and now the girl can't show her face around there any more. It was a co-worker of hers that told her about it in the end because she felt so bad for her because she didn't have a clue what was going on.

I was ****ing raging over it (she has a kid and her family live in the town) and confronted the guy and the attitude was pretty much: "we were only **** buddies and it was a bit of fun, what's her problem?". The rest of the group backed him and basically said yer one was stupid for letting him take pics and video so she was in the wrong.

I don't talk to any of them any more, unsurprisingly.

you'd be surprised how often that happens.

When I was 19-21, male friends of a similar age took joy in showing the friend group nudes of women they were with.

My boyfriend's friends (two lads out of a group of 7) have shown everyone who'll look videos of their long term girlfriends. Scumbags.

racso1975

armaghlad wrote: »

Yeah she does..but so did I, now deleted. It wouldn't really bother me to be honest. I'd be embarrassed, yeah, but at the end of the day it's just two adults having sex. We aren't from the same town or anything and sure we aren't even in contact any more. I do trust her enough though not to do anything sinister

True and its the right attitude to have but i suppose in your case it was both consensual recording of the act

armaghlad

racso1975 wrote: »

True and its the right attitude to have but i suppose in your case it was both consensual recording of the act

Recording without someone's knowledge is scummy. If you agree to someone videoing you, you sort of have to be somewhat open to the idea that people you might not feel comfortable viewing it will see it at some time in the future.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

What about people who send you unsolicited pictures of their dicks? Are females still under obligation not to share those around?

armaghlad

LexieOnRale wrote: »

What about people who send you unsolicited pictures of their dicks? Are females still under obligation not to share those around?

They should. They should tag the owner on Facebook!

racso1975

LexieOnRale wrote: »

What about people who send you unsolicited pictures of their dicks? Are females still under obligation not to share those around?

I think those people should be reported to be honest!!!! Its kinda like the old flasher in the park. Like who the fcuk thinks a randomer wants to see a dick pic or its all of sudden gonna lead to a hook up!!!!

Penny Tration

LexieOnRale wrote: »

What about people who send you unsolicited pictures of their dicks? Are females still under obligation not to share those around?

I wouldn't share it myself, but no issues at all with women or men who share unsolicited pics they've received (i, a straight woman, even received unsolicited pics from another woman!).

If you're going to sexually harass someone, you've kinda given up your right to privacy.

KomradeBishop

lawlolawl wrote: »

I fell out with a group of friends i'd had for over 15 years over this kind of thing. One fella was casually riding one of the girls in the group who had just gotten out of a serious long term relationship (kid, engaged, etc) and there was pictures taken and videos made as a kinky bedroom thing between the two of them.

Yer man was a barman and it turns out he was showing the videos and pics to half the town and now the girl can't show her face around there any more. It was a co-worker of hers that told her about it in the end because she felt so bad for her because she didn't have a clue what was going on.

I was ****ing raging over it (she has a kid and her family live in the town) and confronted the guy and the attitude was pretty much: "we were only **** buddies and it was a bit of fun, what's her problem?". The rest of the group backed him and basically said yer one was stupid for letting him take pics and video so she was in the wrong.

I don't talk to any of them any more, unsurprisingly.

Jesus...that guy should be in prison, can totally ruin someones life with stuff like that.

That people backed him up as well - and I bet many of those people, would have seemed otherwise ok/normal - goes to show you too, just how stupid and fallible (probably otherwise normal) people can be, to the point of backing something that malicious.

B.A._Baracus

I reckon this happens all the time.
All one has to do is go to the amateur section of certain porn sites and the amount of phone recorded porn is something else :pac:

Has to be a large amount posted without consent, or let's be honest, recorded without the knowledge of the other party knowing in some cases.

LightsStillOn

There's a forum I was told about which is full to the brim of this kind of thing. Mostly from the UK but there's an a few Irish threads on there with 20+ pages of pictures & videos. Fairly scummy thing to do, if someone is kind enough to send me naked pictures the least I can do is keep them to myself :pac:

Lia_lia

A friend of my boyfriend was showing us topless pictures of this girl he was sleeping with before. I thought it was ridiculous that he was showing people these pictures, he was just like "she shouldn't have sent them to me then". :rolleyes: I have personally never sent or received these kind of pictures, seems like a pretty stupid thing to do really. They could easily get in the wrong hands.

One eyed Jack

racso1975 wrote: »

Like what the fuk is wrong with people that you cant enjoy a shag without having to record it and post the girl all over the place? Obviously the worst part of it all is that they dont have the permission of these women I assume

This kind of thing has been going on ever since people had the ability to document their sex lives. There's nothing new about it, and most people are already conscious of the consequences. Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often in reality.

lawlolawl

Penny Tration wrote: »

you'd be surprised how often that happens.

When I was 19-21, male friends of a similar age took joy in showing the friend group nudes of women they were with.

My boyfriend's friends (two lads out of a group of 7) have shown everyone who'll look videos of their long term girlfriends. Scumbags.

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

If i was a young woman today i wouldn't allow any pics or vids of me to be taken. Young lads nowadays are arseholes who will show them to their friends.

moc moc a moc

biko wrote: »

douchebaggy

Have I stumbled onto boards.us by mistake?

tritium

One eyed Jack wrote: »

This kind of thing has been going on ever since people had the ability to document their sex lives. There's nothing new about it, and most people are already conscious of the consequences. Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often in reality.

Pretty much this, though the fear of it has been a pretty useful scare tactic in recent times (agsoc 200 anyone?)

PandaX9

tritium wrote: »

Pretty much this, though the fear of it has been a pretty useful scare tactic in recent times (agsoc 200 anyone?)

Which turned to be based solely on hearsay about a vague yik yak post that referenced a non existent group chat. But in general yes, as old fashioned :rolleyes: as this sounds, the onus is on you to protect your intimate identity. The only 100% foolproof way to ensure that photographs of you in the nip don't do the rounds is don't take any or don't permit anyone to take them of you. But obviously this is difficult what with tales of people taking sly photographs of their one night stands etc

biko

moc moc a moc wrote: »

Have I stumbled onto boards.us by mistake?

Yeah, it's awesome

Fox_In_Socks

I draw pictures of the woman I'm with, in stick figure form. Or else I fashion a stick figure image of them out of pipe cleaners.

http://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-photo-two-pipe-cleaner-stick-figures-shaking-hands-focus-is-on-the-shaking-hands-with-a-medium-dof-1252786.jpg

Fox_In_Socks

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

I draw pictures of the woman I'm with, in stick figure form. Or else I fashion a stick figure image of them out of pipe cleaners.

http://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-photo-two-pipe-cleaner-stick-figures-shaking-hands-focus-is-on-the-shaking-hands-with-a-medium-dof-1252786.jpg

That's so weird! I love it!!

K-9

Penny Tration wrote: »

you'd be surprised how often that happens.

When I was 19-21, male friends of a similar age took joy in showing the friend group nudes of women they were with.

My boyfriend's friends (two lads out of a group of 7) have shown everyone who'll look videos of their long term girlfriends. Scumbags.

What?

I assume the girlfriends don't know?

Penny Tration

K-9 wrote: »

What?

I assume the girlfriends don't know?

Not that I'm aware of, no. I don't know them so haven't told them. I strongly recommended the other 5 lads tell them but dunno if they did!

El Weirdo

lawlolawl wrote: »

... Young lads nowadays are arseholes who will show them to their friends.

Yep.

Scumbags the lot of 'em. Every single last ****ing one of 'em. To a man. Scum.

Every.
Single.
One.

Scum. All of 'em. Especially nowadays. Never had this problem in my day, but ever since nowadays began...

lawlolawl

El Weirdo wrote: »

Never had this problem in my day, but ever since nowadays began...

Ubiquitous smartphone ownership and sexting didn't exist until relatively recently so, yeah, it is a "nowadays" problem and you are deluding yourself by thinking it isn't widespread.

armaghlad

lawlolawl wrote: »

Ubiquitous smartphone ownership and sexting didn't exist until relatively recently so, yeah, it is a "nowadays" problem and you are deluding yourself by thinking it isn't widespread.

I don't think it's widespread at all. I remember about ten years ago when camera/video phones became popular every now and again you'd get the odd video or picture being passed about. Nowadays there is none of that IME.

PARlance

armaghlad wrote: »

I don't think it's widespread at all. I remember about ten years ago when camera/video phones became popular every now and again you'd get the odd video or picture being passed about. Nowadays there is none of that IME.

The people doing it were probably 10 when camera phones came out. I.e you're old(er) and probably out of the loop. I am too but have younger brothers and it's fairly prevalent.

armaghlad

PARlance wrote: »

The people doing it were probably 10 when camera phones came out. I.e you're old(er) and probably out of the loop. I am too but have younger brothers and it's fairly prevalent.

I play GAA and there'd be a lot of younger 18/19 year old lads involved with the senior team. There's next to nothing like that anymore. When I was that age it seemed more commonplace. Everything is captured through snapchat nowadays and people tend to leave it at; rather than use the record function on their smartphones.

eviltwin

I've heard it being done by young guys to prove they've had sexual contact with a girl, kinda the modern interpretation of stealing her underwear. Seems to be considered normal by a lot of young people. I do despair of the internet generation, they seem to have lost any kind of social skills or emotional intelligence. Respect seems to be an alien concept to many of them.

melissak

Some people are disgusting. Sharing these videos should be treated as sexual assault. And not on the minor end of the scale like slapping someone's arse. Closer to the worst end of the scale carrying jail time. It is such a violation of a person's trust. Could have worse long term effects than rape on a person. Thank God video phones didn't exist when I was young and stupid. If I knew someone who did this I would never speak to them and if it was someone close to me who was the victim I would seriously consider organising a **** kicking. Horrible scummy thing to do.

Wibbs

I dunno about sexual assault, certainly not at "the worst end of the scale". Let's not lose the run of ourselves and go overboard here. Comparing it to rape is beyond the Pale of silliness.

But yes those who publicly share such intimate images and vids without permission should be done for breach of privacy and like the UK and their laws concerning "revenge porn" legislation is needed. There is also the aspect of the subject of such pics/vids agreeing to same. In this day and age that's daft and not a little naive.

More education is needed on online etiquette and dangers and it should start early in school.

racso1975

Wibbs wrote: »

I dunno about sexual assault, certainly not at "the worst end of the scale". Let's not lose the run of ourselves and go overboard here. Comparing it to rape is beyond the Pale of silliness.

But yes those who publicly share such intimate images and vids without permission should be done for breach of privacy and like the UK and their laws concerning "revenge porn" legislation is needed. There is also the aspect of the subject of such pics/vids agreeing to same. In this day and age that's daft and not a little naive.

More education is needed on online etiquette and dangers and it should start early in school.

It is close to the top end though Wibbs. It is a full intrusion of privacy and while some might allow pics or videos to be taken they don't agree to it being distributed to general public or people on the internet to have a w@nk over. Most definitely the ones recorded without permission is exceptionally vile and disgusting

eviltwin

racso1975 wrote: »

It is close to the top end though Wibbs. It is a full intrusion of privacy and while some might allow pics or videos to be taken they don't agree to it being distributed to general public or people on the internet to have a w@nk over. Most definitely the ones recorded without permission is exceptionally vile and disgusting

Yeah I'd work with people affected by sexual assault and the release of private footage of consenting acts and its always the knowledge that something is out there forever that causes the greatest distress.

Also worth remembering if the person is under 17 it's child porn

Keane2baMused

A bestie mate of my exes had no issue showing the lads videos of his on/off again (permanently off now!) girlfriend giving him bj's etc. She had no idea.

And this guy was over 30.

Scummy scummy thing to do.

zSparc

racso1975 wrote: »

posting pics and videos online of girls he was having sex with

Some people have way too much time on their hands, a no respect for privacy; be it someone else's or their own.

melissak

eviltwin wrote: »

Yeah I'd work with people affected by sexual assault and the release of private footage of consenting acts and its always the knowledge that something is out there forever that causes the greatest distress.

Also worth remembering if the person is under 17 it's child porn

Not in anyway to trivialise rape but I have discussed this amongst people who were victims and many felt that this kind of thing recorded secretly and doing the rounds would be worse. I would never get over it I think. I'd have to move to North Korea where there is limited Internet. These videos will still be there fifty years from now. A person's grandkids could see it. It like violating a person's trust privacy and body again and again for infinity. And those who watch these videos are participating in this abuse. Shame on all concerned. Never trust such a person. They have no soul. They should do society a favour and die lest their scummy genes br passed to the next generation to further taint humanity.

Another symptom of era we live in, where matters like propriety and respect go out the window and the depiction of a woman having sex, without her consenting to the publication, might be considered great "craic".

Penny Tration

melissak wrote: »

So can this. It depends on the person. This is why lots of rape victims never tell a soul of their experiences because the thought of people knowing intimate details of their life is scarier than their already disgusting experience. By your previous posts on other threads, and if you will excuse me as I mean no offence, your user name, you don't have huge hangups about sexual discussions etc. I totally admire you for it BTW it's just I was raised a bit sheltered in this matters and prone to embarrassment. Not all men and women think the same as you. This kind of thing would be one of the most awful things I could imagine happening to me and I have had my share of **** experiences. I am not naive to the bad in humanity believe me.
Again not trying to trivialise your experience but not everyone reacts to terrible things in the same way. I am truly sorry that you have been so unfortunate as to meet two such bad examples of" humanity"
Just because we have locked horns on this issue before penny, would this be better or worse than a drunken fool slapping your arse in a club in your opinion? I am not being thick BTW just like to hear different people perspectives as I suffer sometimes from assuming everyone thinks like me. I love boards in this regard.

any chance you could delete the quoted post please? I actually deleted it


I had massive sexual hang ups for years. But therapy works wonders!

Picture sharing would be a LOT worse to me than an arse grab. That's mainly because if someone grabs my arse, I can push them away, or give them a dig if they try it a second time. I have the ability to end the situation. With photos, I don't have that ability, because once they're online, they're there forever.


Don't get me wrong, I think video and photo leaking is on the higher end of sexual crimes. it has terrible consequences for many people. I just don't think it quite hits the same level as rape, in terms of the consequences for the victim.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Rape is much worse than having your private photos being distributed. I'm seriously offended you would even compare the two. They're completely different. Yes I'd be devastated if someone posted an intimate video of me, but so what? People have sex all the time. Most people have seen porn, or at the very least, a naked human body before. It would be mortifying but it does not in any way shape or form compare to having someone much bigger on top of you, your phone in your bag, too far away to reach, begging him to stop but he's not even listening, hurting you but not caring at all. Tears streaming down your face seemingly turning him on even more. And you're wondering if he's ever going to stop, or what will he do when he's finished to stop you from telling someone what he did? Are you even going to get out of his room? Is his face the last face you're ever going to see? How disappointed are your parents going to be with you when they find out?

You cannot compare that to a video being shared. They're both horrific but it's not a competition. They're just not even comparable. They're not on the same scale at all.

And to suggest someone clearly has no hang ups about sex? How sure are you about that?? Are you the one in a relationship with her?