Best comeback response you got.

Sweetemotion

Just now I was

smash

I'm thinking this is something to do with receiving a **** but I can't quite decipher your post.

I swear, sometimes I think boards is making me dyslexic!

Tigger99

I winced hard at that post. The description of your damaged manhood was also painful.

Sweetemotion

smash wrote: »

I'm thinking this is something to do with receiving a **** but I can't quite decipher your post.

I swear, sometimes I think boards is making me dyslexic!

A

Armchair Andy

OP's girlfriend frigged herself.

Next!

PARlance

Sounds like she didn't have a sweetmotion.

The Sidewards Man

Dont spare the wd40.

DontThankMe

The best i've heard is after i used a persons own insult against them they said:
"If i wanted my own cum back i would of wiped it off your mothers chin"

Sweetemotion

smash wrote: »

I'm thinking this is something to do with receiving a **** but I can't quite decipher your post.

I swear, sometimes I think boards is making me dyslexic!

Sorry Smash, can you please be gentle next time...

Sweetemotion

Hopefully deleted before quote.

B.A._Baracus

"If you want my come back, you have to scrape it off your mum's teeth" - Jimmy Carr.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

New AH rule: first person to reply QUOTE THE DAMN POST.

Smash - letting the side down here.

Mackman

Oh yeah? Well, The Jerk store called, they're running out of you!

MarkAnthony

Not directed at me but overheard at RAF Benson many years ago.

"She asked you to give her eight inches and make her bleed so you fcuked her twice and smaked her in the nose."

not yet

Put your ace of hearts on that ya fcuker..

LizT

Dying to know what the op said now

stoplooklisten

if you want my best comeback, you better start scraping it off your ma's face.

smash

LizT wrote: »

Dying to know what the op said now

Can a mod not bring it back?

LizT

smash wrote: »

Can a mod not bring it back?

Ffs, I knew there would come a day when I regretted giving up modding AH

biko

"Yeah? Well, so is your face!"

drops mic

Birneybau

stoplooklisten wrote: »

if you want my best comeback, you better start scraping it off your ma's face.

Funny the first time, second not so much. Yours was the third...

stoplooklisten

Birneybau wrote: »

Funny the first time, second not so much. Yours was the third...

Well your ma does have a lot of come on her face

Julez

I was in the comedy tent at Electric Picnic a good few years ago, it was carpeted floor, so everyone was sitting down. Des Bishop was on stage and mid routine a guy stood up with a donkey head mask thing on and began to walk off. So, Des, thinking he'll have a bit of fun with it it, calls him out "Hey, where are you going?", the guy stops, turns, looks at him and says "This rooms only big enough for one ass". Oh, the laughs we had.

Birneybau

stoplooklisten wrote: »

Well your ma does have a lot of come on her face

Bravo

maudgonner

LizT wrote: »

Dying to know what the op said now

I saw it, it's one of those things that will always be better in your imagination that it was in reality. You've not missed much

MarcoAntonio23

Get your fat arse out of the road, I haven't enough petrol to drive around you!

blue note

Using all my smooth I asked a girl if her name was WiFi, because I'm feeling a connection.

"sorry, I'm not giving you the password". I was impressed by her quick response to be fair.

pappyodaniel

blue note wrote: »

Using all my smooth I asked a girl if her name was WiFi, because I'm feeling a connection.

"sorry, I'm not giving you the password". I was impressed by her quick response to be fair.

Boolsh1t.

smash

blue note wrote: »

Using all my smooth I asked a girl if her name was WiFi, because I'm feeling a connection.

"sorry, I'm not giving you the password". I was impressed by her quick response to be fair.

Did you tell her that luckily you're a rapist hacker?

blue note

pappyodaniel wrote: »

Boolsh1t.

Wow, if I was going to make something up it would have been a lot more outlandish than that!

pappyodaniel

blue note wrote: »

Wow, if I was going to make something up it would have been a lot more outlandish than that!

I can't believe anyone could be that cheesy to come out with a line like that and her quick response just......

Ah you know what? Ye are fu3king made for each other,

Agent Smith

I'm not angry.... Just disappointed.....

eisenberg1

Julez wrote: »

I was in the comedy tent at Electric Picnic a good few years ago, it was carpeted floor, so everyone was sitting down. Des Bishop was on stage and mid routine a guy stood up with a donkey head mask thing on and began to walk off. So, Des, thinking he'll have a bit of fun with it it, calls him out "Hey, where are you going?", the guy stops, turns, looks at him and says "This rooms only big enough for one ass". Oh, the laughs we had.

What was Des Bishop doing in a comedy tent?

eisenberg1

Mrs E was in a shop trying on a dress and came out to walk up and
Down, as women do.

The sales lady says "that's really gorgeous on you, shows of your figure"

I throw in my tuppence and jokingly say " ah yeah, she's in great shape for a seventy year old"

Quick as a flash, and without batting an eyelash,sales lady retorts with
"I see she prefers older men"

Gordon

Did someone take over your account, OP?! That's a horrific story.

JustShon

Friend's ma is chopping potatoes, we're slagging each other as you do. Forget most of the slagging but I'll always remember this bit:

Friend's ma: "I'll get my boyfriend after you."

Me: "Is that the one you're paying, or the one that's paying you?"

Then she chased me out of the house with a knife.

Julez

eisenberg1 wrote: »

What was Des Bishop doing in a comedy tent?

Mainly shouting things in an Irish accent.

smash

Gordon wrote: »

Did someone take over your account, OP?! That's a horrific story.

He who has the power to quote the original post, should post the original post!

Gordon

smash wrote: »

He who has the power to quote the original post, should post the original post!

OK here you go, but I've made it inconsonant to protect the innocent.

Sweetemotion wrote: »

u o I a oi iie e ie e ae I o a aua.

Aa, e ou ia i i a e ie. ae u aua oi ie a e o ee ea i ea a ou o ei u o eoue, e ie ei i o u o ie o a oee o o.

o ae a e ue a a oee e ia e e iea a e e ou.

I o' o i a uie o o u i a ea ou a a ee u ai a ie i o i o o e o i a e e i ai ie,

oi I a, e oe ee i e ao a e ee ee I a ui i, a e a a aee. I o i a ou a aua ae ou o ii I a oi e a a I' o ae ou o u.

e I o a, ou ae ue i ie a a e:(

smash

Gordon wrote: »

OK here you go, but I've made it inconsonant to protect the innocent.

Still just as legible.

maudgonner

Gordon wrote: »

OK here you go, but I've made it inconsonant to protect the innocent.

Old McDonald had a Farm...

Sweetemotion wrote: »

u o I a oi iie e ie e ae I o a aua.

Aa, e ou ia i i a e ie. ae u aua oi ie a e o ee ea i ea a ou o ei u o eoue, e ie ei i o u o ie o a oee o o.

o ae a e ue a a oee e ia e e iea a e e ou.

I o' o i a uie o o u i a ea ou a a ee u ai a ie i o i o o e o i a e e i ai ie,

oi I a, e oe ee i e ao a e ee ee I a ui i, a e a a aee. I o i a ou a aua ae ou o ii I a oi e a a I' o ae ou o u.

e I o a, ou ae ue i ie a a e

That's a bit longer than the version I remember?

smash

maudgonner wrote: »

That's a bit longer than the version I remember?

The basics from what I remember was something along the lines of:

OP was hungover and horny but was too tired to knock one out so he asked his girlfriend for a hand shandy. She obliged but it was too dry and now 3/4 days later his mickey's still killing him.

maudgonner

smash wrote: »

The basics from what I remember was something along the lines of:

OP was hungover and horny but was too tired to knock one out so he asked his girlfriend for a hand shandy. She obliged but it was too dry and now 3/4 days later his mickey's still killing him.

I was making a bad Old MacDonald joke

But I'll add the comeback line from the OP - she told him that if he wasn't happy with how she treated his wee chap (the now chapped wee chap :eek:) he should have had it do a man's work, or something along those lines.

Sweetemotion

maudgonner wrote: »

I was making a bad Old MacDonald joke

But I'll add the comeback line from the OP - she told him that if he wasn't happy with how she treated his wee chap (the now chapped wee chap :eek:) he should have had it do a man's work, or something along those lines.

Comeback was, it wouldn't be sore if you had of used it like a man :-)

Sweetemotion

Sorry for the thread folks, white wine and 7up is just to easy to drink.

riffmongous

eisenberg1 wrote: »

What was Des Bishop doing in a comedy tent?

What was someone doing at a Des Bishop show??

smash

Sweetemotion wrote: »

Comeback was, it wouldn't be sore if you had of used it like a man :-)

Did you not tell her it takes two to tango?

Olishi4

A few years ago, two young lads I know who worked together at the time had got a lift off one of their aunties somewhere.

They were sitting in the back seat when the nephew said to his aunt, "and how's aul Ann doin?". The aunt said "oh not good, she's a dropped rectum now"

The two lads were sitting in the back of the car in stitches trying to hold in the laughter at the phrase and detail that she used.

So the next day, they were in work and still laughing about it and wrecking the foremans head, who was already having a shiit day.

Later that day, they forgot all about it but something went wrong in the workshop which pushed the foreman to the limit and he picked up some tool, threw it on the floor and said "ah fcuk this place, I don't give a rats rectum anymore" and he stormed out!

smash

rectum? Nearly bleedin killed em!

Olishi4

smash wrote: »

rectum? Nearly bleedin killed em!

Ah ye but the thing that went wrong in the workshop wasn't their fault so he wasn't storming out over them. He just threw a joke in, in his anger

LizT

Olishi4 wrote: »

Ah ye but the thing that went wrong in the workshop wasn't their fault so he wasn't storming out over them. He just threw a joke in, in his anger

whooooosh.