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Mother jailed for neglect and assault on her children

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    #2
    Pique
    Registered Users Posts: 3,044 ✭✭✭Pique


    Concurrent sentences are a ****ing joke. Hope the DPP appeals the leniency here.

    What a bitch!


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    #3
    Lisha
    Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Lisha


    Too short a sentence but why did they husband just get a suspended sentence.

    He stood by and let her do it. He is as guilty as her.

    Poor kids I hope they are living a life free from fear aNd in peace. Best of luck to them.


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    #4
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    That's beyond disgusting. An utter monster to do that to her own flesh and blood.


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    #5
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I mean if you cannot trust your own mother?
    And what's really sad is - these kids didn't know any better. It's not like they would realise how awful she was, and how they did not deserve any of that, because that's how they grew up and not many children hate their parents


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I feel sick reading that. No sentence is enough for hurting little kids.

    How her co-accused got a suspended sentence is a mystery. Plead guilty to five charges, and no jail time because he's trying to build bridges with his own kids - should he be near kids at all with a conviction for assaulting kids?


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    #7
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    The state need to accept some responsibility in this. The mother was reported years ago and kept down playing the seriousness


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    #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Lisha wrote: »
    Too short a sentence but why did they husband just get a suspended sentence.

    He stood by and let her do it. He is as guilty as her.

    Poor kids I hope they are living a life free from fear aNd in peace. Best of luck to them.

    He plead guilty to five assaults too, he didn't just stand by.

    Neither of them should see the light of day for a very long time, the mother especially.


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    #9
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


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    #10
    Lisha
    Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Lisha


    Candie wrote: »
    He plead guilty to five assaults too, he didn't just stand by.

    Neither of them should see the light of day for a very long time, the mother especially.

    What I meant by 'stand by' was that he didn't seem to intervene or stop her at all.
    He only pleaded guilty to lessen his own sentence. A horrible case . So sad that any one could be so callous to children is heartbreaking.


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    #11
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    I mean if you cannot trust your own mother?
    And what's really sad is - these kids didn't know any better. It's not like they would realise how awful she was, and how they did not deserve any of that, because that's how they grew up and not many children hate their parents

    Exactly this. Those poor kids are never going to appreciate life the way most do. No amount of counselling ever stops the fear or the self loathing they are now going to have to endure for a lifetime. 4 years? Absolutely disgusting. People get four years for a serious assault on one adult. Sentences should be multiples of the equivalent adult crime when it is children involved. As for suspended sentences, where to begin?


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    #12
    vicwatson
    Registered Users Posts: 28,403 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Concurrent sentencing **** right off


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    #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    FizzleSticks wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    It wasn't a family court, it was a criminal prosecution.


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    #14
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    It wasn't a family court, it was a criminal prosecution.

    Family court has some blame. 5 years they were aware of this but she was allowed return to the home regardless.


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    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The co accused was father to some of the kids, not all.
    So I assume he wasn't there for some of this abuse.

    The worst thing about the whole lot is that 7 kids are all split up now, in different foster homes.
    Would be great if they could be together


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    #16
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    bubblypop wrote: »
    The co accused was father to some of the kids, not all.
    So I assume he wasn't there for some of this abuse.

    The worst thing about the whole lot is that 7 kids are all split up now, in different foster homes.
    Would be great if they could be together
    Where would they be better though. In care homes? Could a foster parent take 7? Such a toughie, a family environment would be better but keeping them together is important too. Having said that they are all school age so the time after school and homework etc before bed they had together during the week would be minimal. Maybe weekend respite all together would be best. Who knows. Very sad all round


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    #17
    dublinman1990
    Registered Users Posts: 8,351 ✭✭✭dublinman1990


    Absolutely disgusted reading that. The parents should be locked up in a mental asylum & should be sterilized for what they did to their own kids.

    To do abuse like this to their kids is despicable & unwarranted. They did not deserve that treatment at all under any circumstances.

    The best of luck to the kids who have gone through this horrific ordeal. I hope that they have a happy life for the future.


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    #18
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Wouldn't even be able to read that :(


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    #19
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Just shows you, Irish society thought this type of thing was in the past.
    This all happened in the last 10 years or so


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    #20
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    bubblypop wrote: »
    Just shows you, Irish society thought this type of thing was in the past.
    This all happened in the last 10 years or so

    Who thought that? Because all other violence and crime has decreased?


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    #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    melissak wrote: »
    Where would they be better though. In care homes? Could a foster parent take 7? Such a toughie, a family environment would be better but keeping them together is important too. Having said that they are all school age so the time after school and homework etc before bed they had together during the week would be minimal. Maybe weekend respite all together would be best. Who knows. Very sad all round

    Yea it's tough, but maybe a care home where they could all live together might be better?

    Of course, there are issues with the different kids & they way they interact.
    It could be a child protection issue of course


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    #22
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    melissak wrote: »
    Who thought that? Because all other violence and crime has decreased?

    I'd imagine most people believed there were enough protections in place that something like this wouldn't happen.


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    #23
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I'd imagine most people believed there were enough protections in place that something like this wouldn't happen.

    I doubt most people are that naive as to think that without being inside of everyone's home all of that something like anything could be made Never happen.


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    #24
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    melissak wrote: »
    Where would they be better though. In care homes? Such a toughie, a family environment would be better but keeping them together is important too. Having said that they are all school age so the time after school and homework etc before bed they had together during the week would be minimal. Maybe weekend respite all together would be best. Who knows. Very sad all round

    I spent some time growing up in a kids home with some of the kids from the Orkney devil worshipping scandal. They never even suffered any abuse but the family break up and subsequent years in institutions had profound and irreversible effects on their lives. It is not really possible to put these things right. They were seprated from their siblings just because one home could not cater for so many. It will be the same for these seven. Too many to be kept in one place.

    I experienced similar abuse as a child and was also seperated from my sister. This was over 20 years ago and we are still trying to find normality in our relationship.

    I feel for those kids. Life will not be kind to them.


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    #25
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    FortySeven wrote: »
    I spent some time growing up in a kids home with some of the kids from the Orkney devil worshipping scandal. They never even suffered any abuse but the family break up and subsequent years in institutions had profound and irreversible effects on their lives. It is not really possible to put these things right. They were seprated from their siblings just because one home could not cater for so many. It will be the same for these seven. Too many to be kept in one place.

    I experienced similar abuse as a child and was also seperated from my sister. This was over 20 years ago and we are still trying to find normality in our relationship.

    I feel for those kids. Life will not be kind to them.

    What would have been better for You? If you were in charge of your situation as a child what would you do?
    They would Have weekend visitation rights to each other wouldn't they?
    Edit to add, there might not be a thread because the kids might read this and feel worse.


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    #26
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    melissak wrote: »
    What would have been better for You? If you were in charge of your situation as a child what would you do?

    Interviews away from parents with social work. This was the crux of nothing being done for years. My father had the right to stay in the room during questioning even after I ran away from home at 9. He got worse after that. Also more communication between agencies. It seems the family in question moved around. So did mine. One step ahead of the services. Kids in these situations are full of fear and unlikely to speak to teachers, doctors etc. To them it is normal to be abused. They don't know it shouldn't be happening but telltale signs are always there. Some teachers or doctors will recognise the signs many won't.

    As for the home. Best thing ever in my case. I'm sure it will be for them too. They are safe and have instant professional support. It won't fix them but at least it stops the abuse. Now they will just feel rejected, isolated, different and very, very lonely.

    Losing their patent will hurt, no matter the abuse. Shift changing care workers can never replace a parent. No matter how abusive.


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    #27
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    FortySeven wrote: »
    Interviews away from parents with social work. This was the crux of nothing being done for years. My father had the right to stay in the room during questioning even after I ran away from home at 9. He got worse after that. Also more communication between agencies. It seems the family in question moved around. So did mine. One step ahead of the services. Kids in these situations are full of fear and unlikely to speak to teachers, doctors etc. To them it is normal to be abused. They don't know it shouldn't be happening but telltale signs are always there. Some teachers or doctors will recognise the signs many won't.

    As for the home. Best thing ever in my case. I'm sure it will be for them too. They are safe and have instant professional support. It won't fix them but at least it stops the abuse. Now they will just feel rejected, isolated, different and very, very lonely.

    Losing their patent will hurt, no matter the abuse. Shift changing care workers can never replace a parent. No matter how abusive.

    But institutional care in Ireland has been very bad in Ireland as scandals show, Is it long ago that you were in care do you mind me Asking? We're they religiously run in your time? Forgive my ignorance on the subject. I have not heard many good news stories about care homes but of course there would be.


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    #28
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    melissak wrote: »
    But institutional care in Ireland has been very bad in Ireland as scandals show, Is it long ago that you were in care do you mind me Asking? We're they religiously run in your time? Forgive my ignorance on the subject. I have not heard many good news stories about care homes but of course there would be.

    I was in Scotland. Non religious. Late eighties early nineties. I know homes here used to be bad but I have to assume changes were made after the scandals. Surely?
    Child protection legislation here is certainly as robust as any Europe wide and is constantly reviewed. I would hope the care homes have moved with the times.


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    #29
    melissak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,873 ✭✭✭melissak


    FortySeven wrote: »
    I was in Scotland. Non religious. Late eighties early nineties. I know homes here used to be bad but I have to assume changes were made after the scandals. Surely?
    Child protection legislation here is certainly as robust as any Europe wide and is constantly reviewed. I would hope the care homes have moved with the times.

    Maybe they have but it would be hard for irish people to support institutionalised care homes again, I think foster homes are more usual here, are they not? Did you have a relationship with your parents again?


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    #30
    PLL
    Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭PLL


    I was neglected and assaulted by my mother, similar scenarios to this. She would also blackmail to say/do things threatening to walk in front of a car if I didn't agree. She brought men home in the afternoon to have sex, tried to have sex with my friends. It goes on.

    Anyways, I'm an anxious wreck, my mom travels the world now, hasn't said sorry for anything in the 7 years since I've left. The sentence does seem short for child abuse, but honestly it's the justice and acknowledgement of their neglect that matters more, now they have that. It might not make sense to some people but from my experience many people have commented about how strange it is that I haven't made up with my mother. Now not everyone knows all the details but the hardest thing to overcome is people not realising a victim of something and treating me accordingly. I've never said that out loud, I'm not looking for attention. I'm just trying to say that as I can relate to their experiences it wouldn't be the sentence length that would be important, it would be the acknowledgement of the pain experienced. It's something I'll never have, as people just don't believe mother's can be so evil, they just think I'm exaggarating. Christ I wish I was. My partner's mother got me an easter egg the first year we were together and I howled crying for hours, why did my mom not love me enough to want to make me happy?

    Sorry for the length!


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    #31
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    melissak wrote: »
    Maybe they have but it would be hard for irish people to support institutionalised care homes again, I think foster homes are more usual here, are they not? Did you have a relationship with your parents again?

    Strange that this has come up now to be honest. I went to visit my father for the first time in 25 years last September. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and I felt some strange responsibility. The resulting severe depression I suffered over the next three months played a large part in my partner leaving with my children and nearly cost me my home and my job. I had no idea it would affect me like that. I thought I had put it behind me.

    Last night I got a phone call from my sister to say he is almost dead. 1 to 3 weeks prognosis. She told me he is being conciliatory about the past. This broke me if I am honest and I am currently in an emotional tailspin of massive proportions. God knows how I'm going to react when he dies but I will not be going to the funeral.

    Abuse is for life. It doesn't leave. It doesn't get easier. It's hard to explain really. The statistics surrounding abused children are frankly terrifying. Most are lost to society for a long, long time. Drugs, drink, crime, suicide and saddest of all, becoming abusers themselves.

    I was fostered for a while too. It was ok. They couldn't deal with me smoking at 12. A habit I picked up in the home. They sent me back after a few months.


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