Most annoying person you worked with

steddyeddy

I had to be a d1ck here but I felt like venting. There's a lab tech where we work who does sweet feck all work. He's a lab tech in title but really only washes the equipment and brings down lab supplies. At least that's what he's supposed to do. In reality he spends most of his day drinking tea and distracting people by talking to them. He doesn't get social cues at all so when you're talking with your supervisor he interrupts to talk about super hero movies.

More annoying is the managerial attitudes to him. When he goes on holiday a girl comes in to do his job and does it order of magnitudes better than him.

Anyway I just can't stand freeloaders. What's the worst/laziest/most anti-social person you wroked with?

The flying mouse

Yer man in the que beside me while i waiting for me dole, he keeps going on talking about work.. tosser.

arybvtcw0eolkf

We've a few of these bastards ~ NOISY EATER'S.. Good God how I don't throat punch or choke one to death one of these days I don't know.

But there's one in particular, the bastarding bollox also SLURPS his God damned tea too.

^^^ Those, they're the most annoying people I work with.

Kovu

Was manager designate in an office before and the women in the office were all nice but very slow at their jobs. It was a sort of everyone chips in at everything sort of job but one of these women was sooooooooooo slooow. On busy days I'd manage to sneak in some of the others work along with my own, meaning they could take a two min break for tea or check their phones, whatever. And the auld bítches went and complained to the manager that I was stealing all their work and they felt redundant at times in the office since I started.

Cows. Auld cows, the lot of them!!!

tomwaterford

Kovu wrote: »

Was manager designate in an office before and the women in the office were all nice but very slow at their jobs. It was a sort of everyone chips in at everything sort of job but one of these women was sooooooooooo slooow. On busy days I'd manage to sneak in some of the others work along with my own, meaning they could take a two min break for tea or check their phones, whatever. And the auld bítches went and complained to the manager that I was stealing all their work and they felt redundant at times in the office since I started.

Cows. Auld cows, the lot of them!!!

Someone complained that you were doing work in work....WTF

kfallon

Probably meself

Kovu

tomwaterford wrote: »

Someone complained that you were doing work in work....WTF

I know, I actually thought I was being led on when I was called into the office about it. My face must have been the picture of disbelief.

The only thing I can think is that they didn't like me above them- I was 23 and they were in their 40s/50s.

intheclouds

Used to work with a real freak who set up a voice activated dictaphone in his desk drawer to try and record what we'd be saying when he left the room. He did a number of other weird and creepy things. One day he brought a chainsaw in and everyone thought he was gonna go full on Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Zaph

We used to have this one in our office who ate an inordinate amount of tuna. It was literally the only thing I ever saw her eat in the time she was there. She'd have a can of it spread on brown bread for breakfast, another can with something for lunch and usually another can mid-morning or mid-afternoon as a snack. What made it worse is despite being asked not to on a number of occasions and many, many unsubtle hints being dropped on a regular basis, she always insisted on eating it at her desk, which was unfortunately very close to mine. There are few things in this world I hate more than the smell of tuna. Nobody was particularly sorry to see her leave.

Wanderer2010

Without a doubt the woman who sits opposite me three days a week. She isn't good at any technology and was used to doing paper training records in the office but it all went electronic and she needs to be spoon fed everything from logging on to printing she's s complete technophobe but the problem is she narrates every single thing she does and I hear it all as I'm the closest.
Typical day: she sits down "ok ctrl alt delete enter password ok done loading settings ok updates required will I hit accept (at which point she consults her hand written notes) ok load up Word hit start programs Word loading part 3 of 9 part 4 of 9". She continues this for the WHOLE FCUKING SHIFT!
I asked my manager could I move but it wasn't possible so I'm wearing earphones as I work because I just could not deal with that. One day she asked me for help printing a report and she was chewing her nails like we were deactivating a bomb or something. She hit print and a big box came up on screen asking her to adjust settings. Oh she recoiled from her seat as if a bomb went off...I really wanted to bash her head off the photocopying machine.
It might sound funny but working close to someone like that would put your blood pressure through the roof. Thank God she only works Tuesday to Thursday

Alf Stewart.

I've worked with loads of annoying bastards in me time, from a guy who literally shat every other bloody hour, to a young un who who constantly talked whilst eating, often resulting in me being covered in her bloody cucumber and hummus sambos every lunch time.

However, the most annoying, irritable and downright hateful bastards I've ever worked with has gotta be brown noses.

You know the type, up the bosses ass, and keeps dobbing guys in to try and climb the career ladder.

Years ago I worked with one complete and utter lick arse, this clown had daily rituals he would perform in an attempt at impressing the then bossx, the stupid bastard used to head into work half an early each morning to ensure the bosses office has air con turned on, warm in winter, cold in summer. Used to make cups of coffee for him every other hour, and I even witnessed the dopey bastard run across a golf course with his golf buggy battery, which he has recharged for him.

I work for a right arshole these days though.

(I'm self employed)

mojesius

The entitled moaner. His first job out of university and he gives out constantly about how **** the job and conditions are. You'd swear is was a gulag the way he goes on about the place and it's really a nice place to work. I have no time for people who constantly moan about how stressful and **** a job is when they spend half their time talking **** beside the coffee machine or going for a smoke every hour. This is why you end up staying up staying til 730pm every day, not because of the workload.

osarusan

Worked with an Australian woman in Japan. A very sour woman with no people skills whatsoever. She was older than the rest of us and obviously saw herself as a kind of mentor to us all, except she couldn't get along with anybody.

She was one of those people that sucked the life out of the room when she entered, and people were much happier when it was her day off and there was no chance of bumping into her in the corridor.

My God, I was glad when she left.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

I've worked with loads of annoying bastards in me time, from a guy who literally shat every other bloody hour, to a young un who who constantly talked whilst eating, often resulting in me being covered in her bloody cucumber and hummus sambos every lunch time.

Unless he was ****ting at his desk I can't understand how that could be so annoying.

andekwarhola

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

from a guy who literally shat every other bloody hour

Did you follow him to the toilet and listen?

Alf Stewart.

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Unless he was ****ting at his desk I can't understand how that could be so annoying.

No desk involved.

We were undertakers.



Ever try lifting a casket into a hearse solo?

Boater123

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Unless he was ****ting at his desk I can't understand how that could be so annoying.

I'd one like that once, constantly using the cubicle next to one I was sleeping in. Kept banging the door shut and waking me with a fright. Soooooooo annoying.

ArtSmart

steddyeddy wrote: »

I had to be a d1ck here but I felt like venting. There's a lab tech where we work who does sweet feck all work. He's a lab tech in title but really only washes the equipment and brings down lab supplies. At least that's what he's supposed to do. In reality he spends most of his day drinking tea and distracting people by talking to them. He doesn't get social cues at all so when you're talking with your supervisor he interrupts to talk about super hero movies.

More annoying is the managerial attitudes to him. When he goes on holiday a girl comes in to do his job and does it order of magnitudes better than him.

Anyway I just can't stand freeloaders. What's the worst/laziest/most anti-social person you wroked with?

I worked with this workaholic freak once. Anytime I brought down the lab tech equipment and tried to be friendly, he snubbed me and started talking (brown-nosing) to the supervisor.

Still, such is life.

ArtSmart

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

Ever try lifting a casket into a hearse solo?

Once, for an audition for the movie Phantasm.

Olishi4

Worked in a large office with those cubicles. A team lead was transferred onto my team. He was above me but he was always making excuses to not do the work. He was in the team for two years and was still using the "I'm new" card for everything.

Whenever I was leaving work, his head would slowly emerge from the cubicle and he would ask me to do something else before leaving but he knew i was trying to catch a bus. My friend and i used to say it was like that scene with Marlon Brando coming out of the water in Apocalypse Now.

maudgonner

I worked with a slightly completely mental religious fanatic for a while. Constantly lecturing us about miracles and apparitions and the like.

Another co-worker's brother went missing, and flyers were circulated with the details and his picture. Stupid cow went around commenting that 'he had sad eyes' and she could sense how troubled he had been and was sure it wouldn't end well.

Poor guy's body was found a week later, likely the result of an accident on a night out. Couldn't matter less what the circumstances were really though. I'd still like to build a time machine and go back 10 years to throttle the bítch.

razorblunt

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Without a doubt the woman who sits opposite me three days a week. She isn't good at any technology and was used to doing paper training records in the office but it all went electronic and she needs to be spoon fed everything from logging on to printing she's s complete technophobe but the problem is she narrates every single thing she does and I hear it all as I'm the closest.
Typical day: she sits down "ok ctrl alt delete enter password ok done loading settings ok updates required will I hit accept (at which point she consults her hand written notes) ok load up Word hit start programs Word loading part 3 of 9 part 4 of 9". She continues this for the WHOLE FCUKING SHIFT!
I asked my manager could I move but it wasn't possible so I'm wearing earphones as I work because I just could not deal with that. One day she asked me for help printing a report and she was chewing her nails like we were deactivating a bomb or something. She hit print and a big box came up on screen asking her to adjust settings. Oh she recoiled from her seat as if a bomb went off...I really wanted to bash her head off the photocopying machine.
It might sound funny but working close to someone like that would put your blood pressure through the roof. Thank God she only works Tuesday to Thursday

I agree on this. Worked with a woman, that would do this for everything, including personal text message. It would go along the lines of:

beep beep
beep beep
<and over >
That's your phone beeping.
- My phone? My phone is beeping? It's beeping, must have got a message. I wonder who it's from. I'll read that now.
<pick up phone>
- Oh its a message alright, who's it from? Oh it's Laura, it must be about lunch next week, I met her for lunch on Friday and we said we'd make it a weekly thing, it's probably about that.
<reads message out loud>
- I'll reply now. That's great now, I like her, she had good chat.
<talks out loud while typing her response>

We have a no earphone policy in work and I kept having chats from my manager about why I was doing it. I told her I don't have any music playing they're noise cancelling because of the numpty next to me. My manager sat on the floor one day and couldn't believe it. The manager of the person responsible refused to speak to her about it as she didn't see an issue with her.

Don't get me wrong, I can put up with someone doing it about work stuff but not narrating every single life detail.
Thankfully she left and I was eventually apologised to about the whole debacle.

armaghlad

When I turned 18 I got a job in an off license. The annoying person I actually happened to be friends with, and only for that I'd have probably kicked him in the teeth at some stage.

He had an annoying habit of hiding on customers he didn't particularly like. So I'd be stocking shelves or out the back or whatever, I'd catch him suddenly nipping out to the toilet before seeing a familiar face walk into the shop. He'd stay in there a good 5 minutes having a smoke or whatever while I was left to stop what I was doing and go man the till.

Another annoying habit was food. I'd usually work a long shift on a Saturday so if I'd planned on getting food from the shop or Chinese I'd ask did he want anything. Always answered no, yet the second I came back he'd be round me like a vulture looking to try my food and eating it on the sly when I was out front serving customers.

The other annoying thing he did was drink on the job... well from about 10.30 to close (11pm). The odd time we would have brought a change of clothes and headed into town after work and had a few beers on the way up. He used drink in the back and not let on to me.

HalloweenJack

Worked with an enormous tool.

Completely up his own arse, thought he was God's gift to the company. He had zero social skills whatsoever. We'd be in the staff room chatting away, he'd come in and destroy the buzz with exagerrated tales that had nothing to do with the topic of conversation.

Some of the tales I can remember:
- his hip bone disappeared when he was a kid, it dissolved into his bloodstream and he had to use a zimmerframe when for a while. I asked had he had his hip replaced then, he said no and he doesn't know how he walks.
- told us that he's a vegan (which is true for the most part) and that he never eats anything, he has a blender and blends all his food into vegetable shakes. This was proven false when he was seen on his own eating a spinach burger. When someone asked him about it, he said he had never said the stuff about veggie shakes.
- told us that he learnt how to search for "aurras" at school.
- his school was barred from having a debs in the surrounding 50 kilometres because of how rough it was. So I asked him where did they have the debs instead, he said it was in their village and they just told the (only) hotel it was a charity night instead.

Straightaway became a brown-nose and we quickly curtailed our conversations in his presence, which led to a quiet, uneasy tension anytime he was around. Of course, he'd then try to force us into talking about his own conversation topics (of which there were very few). Never talked about himself substantially, which is fair enough, but it just made him harder to figure out. He has a very flat accent with a slight American twinge and uses lots of Americanisms (like mom, zucchini, etc.) and insists that everyone in his village talks this way. He would also insist to non-Irish workers that most Irish people actually talked like him and that the rest of us were just putting on our accents.

He got one of the other members fired by ratting her out and then played completely dumb about it afterwards. However, it was such a specific situation that she got fired for and he was one of a small group of people who would have known about it. He also has to shroud everything in mystery and never gives straight answers to anything. He also went on as if he knew the place we were inside out and wanted everyone to come to him so he could tell them where to go and what to do even though he hadn't a clue a lot of the time (he'd just moved there from his village). If you corrected him on his misinformation, he'd go "oh yeah, that's what I meant to say". It got to the point where me and a mate use to make up names of trendy new bars (the guy is a massive drinker and very hipstery, he loves to be seen in cool places even though he's usually bored out of his face there) and say we'd been there and tell him about it, to which he'd reply "Oh yeah, I've heard of that place, it's supposed to be really good".

Left that job last year and still occassionally see him out and about. I have some friends who still work there and he spends a lot of time bitching to the other staff and my ex boss about me and is very dismissive of the job I did. Whenever I have the misfortune to see him out, he comes up to me and acts like he's my best mate and goes on about how great his job is and how important he is in the company now. He's doing the exact same job I did previously, I know exactly how (un)important it is.

Probably me

Aongus Von Bismarck

When I first moved to Germany I worked in a small investment bank. My manager was a dreadfully annoying man called Berthold. He was spectacularly incompetent, a very heavy drinker, and presumed that his seniority gave him an air of gravitas. It didn’t. He also had this disgusting habit of using his baby finger to poke around in his ear, before examining the nail for a fresh deposit of ear wax. He made my skin crawl.



Thankfully I moved up rapidly through the organisation and was part of a ‘ninja squad’ who were tasked with streamlining many of the bank’s activities during the financial crisis.



Berthold and his bunch of lairy old soaks were deemed surplus to requirements and were fired. I’m not a vindictive man, but the sight of Berthold gulping and wiping the sweat from his brow as he realised that his 35 year career as a banker was coming to an end came with a certain amount of personal satisfaction. And with it his flagrant abuse of company funds to pay for expensive dinners, golf course outings and Scotch.

Aongus Von Bismarck

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

When I first moved to Germany I worked in a small investment bank. My manager was a dreadfully annoying man called Berthold. He was spectacularly incompetent, a very heavy drinker, and presumed that his seniority gave him an air of gravitas. It didn’t. He also had this disgusting habit of using his baby finger to poke around in his ear, before examining the nail for a fresh deposit of ear wax. He made my skin crawl.



Thankfully I moved up rapidly through the organisation and was part of a ‘ninja squad’ who were tasked with streamlining many of the bank’s activities during the financial crisis.



Berthold and his bunch of lairy old soaks were deemed surplus to requirements and were fired. I’m not a vindictive man, but the sight of Berthold gulping and wiping the sweat from his brow as he realised that his 35 year career as a banker was coming to an end came with a certain amount of personal satisfaction. And with it his flagrant abuse of company funds to pay for expensive dinners, golf course outings and Scotch.

Wonderful post, as always, Gus. I'm glad the incompetent bon viveur got his comeuppance at your hand.

You're using too much spacing between paragraphs though, which disappoints me.

Strumms

We have a few.

One in particular is an older guy. Mid 50's but he is like Mr Bean on acid. A complete technophobe also and has struggled big time since the job gradually changed from using paper to computers, tablets and so on. But the big problem instead of acknowledging that he isn't good at it he hides from any work that involves the technology side of things and also from anything that he has to sign for or take responsibility for.

He is a reasonably intelligent guy but a coward. The thing is he is a YES man. Silent in all meetings and never a peep out of him and comes in on time and goes home on time so not a problem guy in that regard which is why he gets an easy ride from the bosses and supervisor. We complain because he isn't held to the same standard as the rest of us, because we have to often do our own work and are expected to fix his mistakes. He constantly tries to hand over work which is (acceptable at times but not every ****in day) to myself and other team members after spending the morning on the go slow. Now I refer him to his manager who I say will delegate his work as I won't do it. A complete piss taker who only knows 1st gear, who gets paid more then anyone due to his longevity in the company and gets away with murder while the rest of us end up doing more and getting stressed because of the extra workload but also because management will do SFA about it... annoying prick.

SAMTALK

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

I've worked with loads of annoying bastards in me time, from a guy who literally shat every other bloody hour, to a young un who who constantly talked whilst eating, often resulting in me being covered in her bloody cucumber and hummus sambos every lunch time.

You work with kfallon???

Ruu

Don't know what it is about having an Irish boss when you are abroad, they treat you worse than anyone ever would (not that you should expect to be treated better than a fellow country person..but still pig ignorant!) When I was living in London, had an absolute tool of a boss. He had absolutely no tact whatsoever. No social skills, had a lick arse secretary do all people management. Someone in work was off for a while with mental issues and when she came back, he asked her in front of everyone if she was on any medication. Everyone was shocked and more or less hid behind their computers to get on with work.

topper75

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

No desk involved.

We were undertakers.



Ever try lifting a casket into a hearse solo?

Come on man.

The handcart has been invented.