Hilarious meetings with celebrities!

AskMyChocolate

I was as d(h)runk as a wheelbarrow one morning, in Slatterys on Capel Street.

I think it may have been after an Ireland/Scotland friendly. I was butchered.

So, Niall Quinn, Terry Phelan, and Robbie Keane come in. They're as bad as I am.

Well, that's actually not fair. Terry is in an awful heap, Robbie is middlin', and Niall is ordering pints. Everything is grand.

I get talking to Terry. We're in the Gents, when he decides to piss all over my jeans, turning around, to explain to me "The roar of the crowd."

So, I go back to my pint; drenched.

I'm talking to Robbie Keane's mate, explaining how Terry has just pissed all over me, when Robbie (as drunk as I am), takes it into his head, to decide I'm a journalist.

So, then it's all about to kick off. Robbie squares up. I haven't the slightest idea of what's going on.

Fortunately, for my sake, Niall Quinn comes over,"Aah Jesus lads".

And so, we were grand. I hope Terry got home OK. He was as bad as I was.

So, AHers. Any other foolish, drunken encounters with celebrities who were as bad as you were?

Choco. \o/

recylingbin

I was out with Paul Daniels once.
Magic night.

stoplooklisten

he pissed on you and you went back to your pint?

interesting

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

Well there was this one time I kicked Glenda Gilson in is balls.

recylingbin

Another night I was out with Marie Curie.
The chemistry was unreal but, unfortunately, things decayed towards the end of the night

mansize

Having a Guinness with Ana Matronic in the George- lovely lady

Wait that wasn't hilarious- but neither was the OP's tbf

AnonoBoy

Funnily enough I had nearly the same experience as the OP.

I was in the gents in Slattery's when in walks Chris Martin. He proceeds to p*ss all over me.

Needless to say it was all yellow.








.

recylingbin

Then there was the time we met Ryan giggs in a restaurant. We ate our meals and went to our own homes with our own partners.
Boring night tbh.

stoplooklisten

recylingbin wrote: »

Then there was the time we met Ryan giggs in a restaurant. We ate our meals and went to our own homes with our own partners.
Boring night tbh.

I went to lunch and liam gallagher was the waiter. I ordered soup, he said , you get a roll with it

Wabbit Ears

recylingbin wrote: »

I was out with Paul Daniels once.
Magic night.

He once told me about about an encounter with a recycling bin, I asked him did he like it and he replied, not a lot!

Gloomtastic!

I was eating in Cavistons in Glasthule one night, went for a slash and was joined by none other than Bono himself. He's standing beside me, fiddling about with his flies, looking around him with his funny shades on. When I turned to leave, he still hadn't found what he was looking for.

Hilarious it was! :rolleyes:

AskMyChocolate

stoplooklisten wrote: »

I went to lunch and liam gallagher was the waiter. I ordered soup, he said , you get a roll with it

Me bollix he did. I can believe the previous replies. They seem salient. Salient is a good word. Salient. Mmmmm........salient.

stoplooklisten

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Me bollix he did. I can believe the previous replies. They seem salient. Salient is a good word. Salient. Mmmmm........salient.

that reminds me of a lunch I had with jimmy nail, he told me he didn't want nobody else

AskMyChocolate

I was at band-camp.....

gandalf

Years ago I tried to chat Samantha Mumba up whilst extremely drunk in Samsara (think its gone now). The lads said the look of horror on her face was priceless

Gloomtastic!

Another time I was in London, walking along the street minding my own business when I saw Cilla Black standing by a lamp post. As I got nearer to her she bent over, looking at a great big dog turd. As God is my witness I heard her say, 'Hello No. 2, what's your name and where d'ya come from?'

chillin117

Years ago I was delivering Yogurts etc to the RTE canteen. As I was leaving I decided to have a quick piss. Midflow, A guy stood beside me also having a piss. It was ''Paul'' From Fair City. Our piss ''merged'' That makes ''Paul'' From Fair City and me Piss Brothers ! Anyone beat that ?

razorblunt

I was in a pub in London and Jeremy Beadle came in to have a piss in the urinal next to me.
He had a huge willy, but on the other hand it was quite small.

Chris_Bradley

Aiden Quinn taking a dump in Vicar Street whilst chatting to some guy that was outside the cubicle was pretty funny

jobless

razorblunt wrote: »

I was in a pub in London and Jeremy Beadle came in to have a piss in the urinal next to me.
He had a huge willy, but on the other hand it was quite small.

this and the cilla one has me in the fits of laughter!

AnonoBoy

One night I was wandering down the back alley behind my local Indian restaurant when who do I bump into but none other than Phil Collins.

We get to chatting and forget that we're standing beside the vent for the extractor fan for the restaurant kitchen. Well somebody inside must have spilled a load of spice because suddenly a big cloud of spice dust comes poofing out at us.

"Agh! What's that says I?" startled easily so I am

Phil Collins takes a second and then looks at me. "I can feel it cumin in the air tonight." he says.

*drum solo*

Sir Osis of Liver.

I pissed on Stevie Wonders leg in the jacks in his local in L.A.

He didn't see the funny side.

turnikett1

I met Meatloaf on a plane once. Although I was a baby so it doesn't count. I'm sure it was probably hilarious though.

stoplooklisten

my water pressure was going nuts so I called eddie vedder round to fix it. After adjusting a few pipes he said, I had a grand even flow

Mint Aero

I was having the bants with McGreggor when all of a sudden Arnie walks in. "Here Arnie bleedin ledge bag ya" we jest. I'll be back goes Arnie when all of a sudden he comes back with 90's Pamela Anderson and Cindy Crawford.

So there's me, chatting to the two baywatch babes while Arnie and McGreggor engage in fisty cuffs when all of a sudden the phone rings."Hello Minty" I goes ah jays lads it's only bleedin Obama. "Ya bleedin ledge bag ya Minty" he goes. Alright boss, talk t'ya! gotta go give these 2 what for says I.

Here wha? Says Arnie and McGreggor squaring up to me. Nah chill buds says I. Just gonna give these 2 what for pointing to Pam and Cindy. I gave Arnie a nudge and McGreggor a sly wink and the two of us closeline Arnie. Great bants says Arnie getting up.

brummytom

Met the Chuckle Brothers on holiday when I was around 9 or 10. I asked for their autograph. Paul (I think) took my piece of paper and signed it, Barry said "To me", Paul passed it and said "To you".

As a kid, that made my year.

Summer wind

I was in McDonald's last Christmas and Keith Duffy was at the till waiting for his order. He was served and left and a fella at a table nearby shouted out "well lads we can always say we ate with the Stars". It was funny at the time anyway.

Capt'n Midnight

recylingbin wrote: »

Another night I was out with Marie Curie.
The chemistry was unreal but, unfortunately, things decayed towards the end of the night

Nice lady, had a real glow about her and a scintillating personality .

The Backwards Man

I was in the pub one night and Nelson Mandela, Ian Paisley and Mother Theresa walked in. I ordered a pint and the barman said there was no Tennent's left. 'What a fcuking joke!' says I and left.

Birneybau

stoplooklisten wrote: »

that reminds me of a lunch I had with jimmy nail, he told me he didn't want nobody else

He's lyin

recylingbin

I was out one night with john squires, Keith moon and Pete Townsend. Over in the far corner were jim morrison amd his band. There was karaoke going on and I grabbed the lads to come on stage with me. Squires went mental and said he wanted to go on with Morrison et all. He wanted to be a-door-ed.

colossus-x

Had a funny experience with Robbie Williams. He came into the cafe at 10am with his bird and was reading stories about himself in the tabloid newpapers. I buckled because he was so good looking in real life and also I didn't realise how tall he was.

So he sat down reading the paper and he wanted another drink and he stuck his hand out with his empty glass which was very odd thing to do for a celeb because the'd expect to have the glass taken from the table ( in other words he was being a bit common) so I took it off him and put it back on the table when I filled his drink up.

The funny thing was he seemed to ignore the girls that were working in the cafe with me and was all utterly charming to me when he left. God, my female colleagues were so jealous.

AskMyChocolate

Oh, Christ. Sobering up now. Apologies to Mr.Quinn, Mr.Keane, and above all Mr.Phelan. What goes on tour, should stay on tour.

On the bright side, though lads, we are responsible, for one of only a handful, of light-hearted, silly threads, to grace AH in the last five years.

Choco \o/

Squeeonline

recylingbin wrote: »

Another night I was out with Marie Curie.
The chemistry was unreal but, unfortunately, things decayed towards the end of the night

I was in a relationship with her for a while, but things became cancerous at the end.

recylingbin

Squeeonline wrote: »

I was in a relationship with her for a while, but things became cancerous at the end.

That was so her. She'd radiate charm at the.beginning but she was only ever a few minutes from a meltdown.

AskMyChocolate

recylingbin wrote: »

That was so her. She'd radiate charm at the.beginning but she was only ever a few minutes from a meltdown.

So true. But, herself and Pierre could light up a room.

recylingbin

I remember one time landing over to her gaff. She wanted to get down to business but I wasn't feeling the best.
She asked me what was wrong and I told her I was feeling unwell since returning from Russia.
Chernobyl? She asked
No, dicky stomach. I replied.

Agricola

stoplooklisten wrote: »

I went to lunch and liam gallagher was the waiter. I ordered soup, he said , you get a roll with it

I complained and sent back the soup at that very restaurant. Told Liam Gallagher not to look back in anger as he headed to the kitchen. #bantz

stoplooklisten

Agricola wrote: »

I complained and sent back the soup at that very restaurant. Told Liam Gallagher not to look back in anger as he headed to the kitchen. #bantz

Did you used the play area in the restaurant at all? I asked him how he uses the equipment,. He said, When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride

EndaHonesty

Met Laurence Kinlan at Electric Picnic.
I was a foolish drunk, he was sound as a pound.
I have nothing but respect for him.

Liam McPoyle

stoplooklisten wrote: »

that reminds me of a lunch I had with jimmy nail, he told me he didn't want nobody else

I'd say there is a good chance you'd get hammered if you went on the beer with him.

Magico Gonzalez

I shoved my mate on top of Feargal Sharkey at Reading 1992. My mate was a bit tubby.

Mr Sharkey was most annoyed.

stoplooklisten

Magico Gonzalez wrote: »

I shoved my mate on top of Feargal Sharkey at Reading 1992. My mate was a bit tubby.

Mr Sharkey was most annoyed.

my mate george also met mr.sharkey. They were in the neighbourhood watch together in desea. Every one called sharkey and george the crime fighters of desea

RWCNT

Keith Duffy from Boyzone was sat in front of me on a plane once. There were some pissed up footy fans on the plane jeering him a bit and he said something to the lady with him about not being in the mood at all.

I was a bit pissed up myself so I went "Ah Keith...it's only words!". He proceeded to give me the dirtiest look I've received from a Boyzone member to date.

Vinculus

Walking down Grafton St back in the seventies, there was a demonstration of some type taking place. Marvin Gaye came up to me and asked what's going on?
I told him it was a demonstration.

True story.

branie2

I met Daniel Craig

We really bonded

Gail Platts Cleavage

Met Father Paul Stone in the bleeding horse one Monday evening, I offered to get him a pint but he just said "no thanks you're grand".

maudgonner

stoplooklisten wrote: »

my mate george also met mr.sharkey. They were in the neighbourhood watch together in desea. Every one called sharkey and george the crime fighters of desea

Crime BUSTERS, FFS. They were the crime busters of the sea. How do you not have that theme tune permanently burned into your frontal lobe? I do

stoplooklisten

maudgonner wrote: »

Crime BUSTERS, FFS. They were the crime busters of the sea. How do you not have that theme tune permanently burned into your frontal lobe? I do

Well, this is embarrassing, looks like I've been singing the wrong words for quite some time