For all the Boardies who no longer have their mother around

RobertKK

Today is mother's day, a day to celebrate and spoil one's mother, and people really should as you will always miss your mother when she has parted her last breath and departed this world.

I know there are fellow Boardies who today are thinking of their mother, , but cannot show their mother their affection and love as she is no longer around, and today has mixed feeling of sadness and happy memories.
My own mother use to sing to us 'A mother's love is a blessing, you'll miss her when she's gone', never a truer song and I am sure my fellow Boardies who no longer have their mother around will agree.

Whether your mother is dead or alive, post something nice about the person who (hopefully) shown you love and care.

Banjo String

Always love your mother, cos you'll never get another.

me_irl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20CCTpU_Mdg

Valetta

I have a motherboard.

Does that count?

KERSPLAT!

I'm very close to my mam. She has always been there for me and shown massive support when most needed. I can't express in words how grateful I am to her for all she has done for me

Annasopra

Valetta wrote: »

I have a motherboard.

Does that count?

Eh no

Turtyturd

Valetta wrote: »

I have a motherboard.

Does that count?

So close.

I've a bored Mother.

The Backwards Man

My mother used to call everybody a whore's bastard. No malice or anything, everybody was just a whore's bastard. One day I was taking her shopping and I eyed one of the local guards who I needed to sign a form for me. So I jumps out and go over to speak to them and they say they'll sign it now if I give them a lift to the barracks. So back we come to the car, and as the guard is stepping in to the back on her blind side, my mother turns to me and asks 'what did you want with that whore's bastard?'

Miss ya Ma.

hairyslug

My ma used to always call me "a little b"(astard)

This is the 1st mothers day without her, to be honest I didn't think I would struggle so much.

snubbleste

Every day is a mother's day

368100

Lots of things I wanted to say that I didn't and only realised it when it was too late. Think about you all the time, gone but not forgotten. I love you.

Earthhorse

Edward Hopper

Still miss my mum, though she's gone 13 years, she was relatively young when she died and never got to see any of my kids, though she saw a scan of my daughter before she was born. My mum was the level head that kept the family together with love, a stern word or baking when it was needed!

The Raptor

I wish I could post something nice about my mother but I don't think I have anything nice to say.

She always preferred my brothers. I went home last summer to find pictures of all my brothers displayed around the house. I always thought she had problems with women due to the treatment of the girls growing up but that wasn't the case. There was also a picture of my brother's partner. I gave my mother a picture of me to include in her display. Six weeks later, at my next visit home, my picture wasn't displayed.

She had every excuse, she didn't get a frame, told me to get one myself but didn't tell my brother at home to get his own. Even if i did get a nice frame, it would be re-used and another picture of my brothers put in place, thats the type of person she is. Told me I was being childish when I asked why there was a picture of my brother's partner.

She just didn't understand, that I was her daughter and wasn't included. But along comes my brother's partner and my mother would rather have a daily reminder of her.

She took the pictures down when i kicked up a fuss about it, like that was going to undo the fact she prefers my brothers and partners. It says alot, nothing ever got in the way of her boys, she would rather remove their pictures than proudly display mine.

She lost two boys due to emigration but lost me because I had enough. I'm sure my brother's partner will send nice thoughts and gifts for her though. She'll always be there for my mother in Australia.

That last line was sarcasm.

Penny Tration

I couldn't ask for a better mam.

Since I was 10, she's been very ill, resulting in always needing someone with her.

Despite that, she supported me financially and emotionally through college, mental illness, trauma from a bad event, tells me every day that I'm beautiful and should have more confidence, makes massive effort to be well enough to go to family events, makes every Christmas special, and is just a thoughtful, loving, caring and wonderful mother. Absolute disciplinarian when I was a child, but she also taught my sister and I to read and write basic sentences before we even started school, pushed us to do well in school (and we all did).

I really couldn't ask for a better mam. I hope I turn into half the woman she is.

Ice Maiden

The Raptor wrote: »

I wish I could post something nice about my mother but I don't think I have anything nice to say.

She always preferred my brothers. I went home last summer to find pictures of all my brothers displayed around the house. I always thought she had problems with women due to the treatment of the girls growing up but that wasn't the case. There was also a picture of my brother's partner. I gave my mother a picture of me to include in her display. Six weeks later, at my next visit home, my picture wasn't displayed.

She had every excuse, she didn't get a frame, told me to get one myself but didn't tell my brother at home to get his own. Even if i did get a nice frame, it would be re-used and another picture of my brothers put in place, thats the type of person she is. Told me I was being childish when I asked why there was a picture of my brother's partner.

She just didn't understand, that I was her daughter and wasn't included. But along comes my brother's partner and my mother would rather have a daily reminder of her.

She took the pictures down when i kicked up a fuss about it, like that was going to undo the fact she prefers my brothers and partners. It says alot, nothing ever got in the way of her boys, she would rather remove their pictures than proudly display mine.

She lost two boys due to emigration but lost me because I had enough. I'm sure my brother's partner will send nice thoughts and gifts for her though. She'll always be there for my mother in Australia.

That last line was sarcasm.

Yeah it's a tough day for people whose mothers have died, but also, from a different perspective: for those whose mothers were not good people to them.

I'm lucky to have a fantastic mother and today makes me appreciate that all the more.

thattequilagirl

The Raptor wrote: »

I wish I could post something nice about my mother but I don't think I have anything nice to say.

She always preferred my brothers. I went home last summer to find pictures of all my brothers displayed around the house. I always thought she had problems with women due to the treatment of the girls growing up but that wasn't the case. There was also a picture of my brother's partner. I gave my mother a picture of me to include in her display. Six weeks later, at my next visit home, my picture wasn't displayed.

She had every excuse, she didn't get a frame, told me to get one myself but didn't tell my brother at home to get his own. Even if i did get a nice frame, it would be re-used and another picture of my brothers put in place, thats the type of person she is. Told me I was being childish when I asked why there was a picture of my brother's partner.

She just didn't understand, that I was her daughter and wasn't included. But along comes my brother's partner and my mother would rather have a daily reminder of her.

She took the pictures down when i kicked up a fuss about it, like that was going to undo the fact she prefers my brothers and partners. It says alot, nothing ever got in the way of her boys, she would rather remove their pictures than proudly display mine.

She lost two boys due to emigration but lost me because I had enough. I'm sure my brother's partner will send nice thoughts and gifts for her though. She'll always be there for my mother in Australia.

That last line was sarcasm.

I'm glad someone posted something like this. I struggle to feel genuine affection for either of my parents. I'm grateful for everything they have given me, but I also hold a lot of resentment toward them.

My mum traveled a lot when I was small, but I knew it was because there were important things to be done. She came back from a trip abroad a few months ago with an infection that was difficult to get under control, and I had to think about what my little world would be like without her. It made me really appreciate the role model she is, and the regard I hold her in, and the fantastic things she's selflessly done. She's just retired now, and having the rest and fun she's deserved for so long.

I also include my Grandmother in Mothers day, as she took care of me a huge amount during my childhood. There is no more loving, selfless, kind, hilarious, and soft-hearted woman in the world. They mean the world to me. As does my Dad.

The thought of losing either of them leaves me with a lump in my throat and terror in my heart, because one day I will.

I feel very bad for those with difficult relationships with their mothers. To lose a mothers love is the way of the natural world, to have never had it is much, much harder to think about.

Nice thread OP.


I don't know how to describe it but it's like I have two different kinds of feelings for my mam.
There is the love I had for her before she got sick which was immense. She was the glue that held me together. All of the good things I am is because of her.

Our house was always filled with kids and animals. If she saw a stray dog in it would come. Many years ago a neighbour of ours was dying. She spent every night with that woman and was with her when she passed. Every thing mammy did was for other people.

Then she got sick and I failed her in those first few months. I ran away from it all. I don't visit her as much as I should because I can't bear it. Of course I love her still but it's different now. Yes she is alive but I feel like I don't have a mammy. What does comfort me is that for 30 years I was lucky enough to have had a mother like her.

Tis a sad day alright for some people.

NIMAN

Don't need a day created by marketing men to sell sh1t to appreciate your mum.

Just do it all the time.

AnonoBoy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Sun Kil Moon song

Class song!

My Mam is deadly.

punisher5112

Some day we will meet again but until then I will always remember all the good times and wish I had said I loved you more but I hope you knew that already.

Miss you.

Thanks op great thread idea.

Mint Sauce

There is so much my Mum has done for me. No amount of flowers, chocolates, and meals out could repay it.

But have just returned from taking her and her mother out for dinner and drinks, it's the least I could do for them both.

Love my Granny very much too, and still value her as a very important member and head of the family. Miss my other Granny who only died last week a few years ago.

Happy Mothers day to all the Mums, living and dead. For most of us, there is so much they do, both noticed and unnoticed.

Galwayguy35

She will be 9 years gone this year, she never gave up on me when I went off the rails due to alcohol when I was young.

It's hard to take sometimes knowing I'll never see her again.

fire and ice

I lost my mum five years ago this may when I was pregnant with my first child. It happened so quickly then I had complications with pregnancy that I don't that I ever really grieved properly. Sometimes I still cry when I think about her.

RobertKK

My mother died less than three weeks before Christmas in 2011. At the time Sara Barereilles Winter song was out and being played a lot, and it always reminds me of my mother when I hear it, given two lines that resonated at the time of her death.
Happiness and anticipation is the theme when heading towards Christmas as it is about the family, and this song was saying 'This is my winter song, December never felt so wrong, cause you're not where you belong'.

She was a great woman, and still missed.

I've a lump in my throat reading some of these posts, my heart goes out to all of you who's Mum is gone. If I could give you all a hug, I would.

Mam of 4

My Mam died 6weeks before Christmas 2011 . Not having her sitting in her seat Christmas Day , wrong , just wrong . But , we were blessed to have her as our Mam , like so many other Mams who were/are the glue that holds the family together , who brightened our days by just being there . Words can't express what my Mam meant to me , and I love having had her enrich everyones lives. Always loved

Delirium

Next month will make it 30 years since my mother died.

Many of the things that I still enjoy to this day she instilled in me from a young age. She taught me to read before I started primary school. She also encouraged me with writing and drawing.

I also remember when marched me (age 5) back to the local shop we'd just left when she discovered I'd stolen a handful of penny sweets. Still remember her face and how ashamed she was as she explained to the shopowner what I'd done. Needless to say, I didn't swipe any sweets again.

I really wish that she hadn't died when I was so young as I didn't really get to know her as a person. My dad says that I've a similar way of thinking to what she had. It would have been nice to have chats with her as an adult.

That said, I'm lucky in that all the memories I do have of her are good memories. Some people don't even get that.

Cork Lass

My mom died 30 years ago when I was just 22 so I never really experienced an adult relationship with her. I always find Mother's Day tough but especially this year as my daughter will be 21 on Tuesday. I would have loved my children to have met my mother who was indeed a wonderful and selfless woman. Jeez, I'm so emotional now I'm actually crying. Happy Mother's Day to all mothers.

Guy:Incognito

Isnt this what facebook is for? It's the only way to guarantee dead friends and relatives will know you care.

Guy:Incognito

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Isnt this what facebook is for? It's the only way to guarantee dead friends and relatives will know you care.

What a lousy thing to say when posters are talking about missing their deceased mothers.

Stay classy.

Edward Hopper

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Isnt this what facebook is for? It's the only way to guarantee dead friends and relatives will know you care.

I don't have Facebook, if I did, I wouldn't post about my mum, sometimes it's nice to share things anonymously for your own soul and not others. I'm glad this thread is here, and don't see what harm it does.

Threads like this also give posters the opportunity to show how cool they are by slagging it off, so it's win win.

whiskeyman

I couldn't ask for better.
Today must be tough for those who have lost their mother, no matter if recent.
Nice of the OP to recognise that.

king size mars bar

Miss my ma, not just today but everyday.

Got to the cemetary today, was mad about my Mum, she was a great friend to me.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Three years this month since we lost her. God, I love how I used to annoy her despite my best intentions. One example:

I served my apprenticeship in a factory which worked night shifts. I fell in with a group which, when we used to finish at 7am friday morning for the weekend, we'd go to the early house for a few pints. Come 2pm, having been up all night, you'd be fairly beered up and I'd walk home.

This used to drive my mam crazy. She thought it was far too early to be walking through the town, then the estate, drunk. She got onto me about it numerous times and told me to get a taxi.

"Taxi home in broad daylight?!" Says me "whaddaya think I am, a millionaire?"

Nonetheless, since I could see it annoyed her, I decided I'd do as she asked.

The very next friday I staggered outta the boozer, instead of heading for home I headed towards the taxi rank. Stood in line with all her friends and neighbours, who were just coming outta Dunnes having did the friday afternoon weekly shop. Me, three sheets to the wind, chatted about all and sundry to them. Even gave them a kiss on the cheek goodbye. Did offer to share the taxi, but they politely declined.

It was sunday before she got to hear about what I'd done. She told me in future that I was just to walk home.

Miss you mam!

whatismyname

RobertKK wrote: »

you will always miss your mother when she has parted her last breath and departed this world.

Not necessarily true.

Banjo String wrote: »

Always love your mother, cos you'll never get another.

No, someone doesn't deserve love simply because they happen to be your mother.

There's much more to it than that.

There's no such thing as 'always love your mother', if a mother gave you a horrific life of abuse and neglect, or anything damaging in any way, then no she may not necessarily deserve love, and there shouldn't be any expectation or pressure put on the child to do so.

And if your mother gave you a horrific life of abuse and neglect, or anything damaging in any way, and it hurts you to hear things like 'always love your mother', 'you will always miss your mother when she's gone' etc, I am sorry that that's the case for you, and I'm sorry to anyone who day's like today are tough for for this type of reason, and for the things that people say because they don't know any better, and I am thinking of you.

AllGunsBlazing

Definitely a case of not knowing how good you had it until they're gone. Eleven years later and her absence still hurts. Everyone of you that has the opportunity should give yr mum a huge hug. Don't let the chance of telling them how much you love them pass you by.

eviltwin

My mother is still alive but not in my life. Its a funny sort of day.

whatismyname

eviltwin wrote: »

My mother is still alive but not in my life. Its a funny sort of day.

Mine hasn't been for a couple of decades now, and it's much better that way, and I hope I never see her again.

I definitely find, though, that social media makes it a little harder the past few years.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

..............

Then she got sick and I failed her in those first few months. I ran away from it all. I don't visit her as much as I should because I can't bear it. Of course I love her still but it's different now. Yes she is alive but I feel like I don't have a mammy. What does comfort me is that for 30 years I was lucky enough to have had a mother like her.

Tis a sad day alright for some people.

If I was you I'd tell her that, break down in front of her if that what happens, she won't be there forever but you'll carry a lot of stuff (regret) around with you.

My ole lad is getting on now a bit and I struggle with the concept much like yourself, he's not sick or anything, just getting on a bit.

When Mum died we saw it coming (cancer), she told me and my sister we were good kids and that she'd miss us, I asked her to haunt various fnckers if she could, we had a good laugh tbh.

Your mum won't be thinking you failed her at all, Mums aren't wired like that, she might well like to see more of you going forward, that's one thing you can do. It's not easy but you can do it.

Candie wrote: »

I've a lump in my throat reading some of these posts, my heart goes out to all of you who's Mum is gone. If I could give you all a hug, I would.

Cheers

RobertKK wrote: »

My mother died less than three weeks before Christmas in 2011. At the time Sara Barereilles Winter song was out and being played a lot, and it always reminds me of my mother when I hear it, given two lines that resonated at the time of her death.
Happiness and anticipation is the theme when heading towards Christmas as it is about the family, and this song was saying 'This is my winter song, December never felt so wrong, cause you're not where you belong'.

She was a great woman, and still missed.

The Coors had the song about their Mum passing away in the charts around the time my Mum passed away. I can remember doing my weekly shopping at 24 years old and looking enviously at toddlers in the shop as they had their Mum.

I went out with 3 mums in the 12 months following my Mum's death, weird.

Kalimah

My mother is dead 30 years in July. I was 23. She never met any of my kids or husband nor any of her grandchildren for that matter. It's so long in the past now I hardly remember her. My father is dead 25 years too. Miss my grandparents more I have to say!

whatismyname

whatismyname wrote: »

........
There's no such thing as 'always love your mother', if a mother gave you a horrific life of abuse and neglect, or anything damaging in any way, then no she may not necessarily deserve love, and there shouldn't be any expectation or pressure put on the child to do so.

And if your mother gave you a horrific life of abuse and neglect, or anything damaging in any way, and it hurts you to hear things like 'always love your mother', 'you will always miss your mother when she's gone' etc, I am sorry that that's the case for you, and I'm sorry to anyone who day's like today are tough for for this type of reason, and for the things that people say because they don't know any better, and I am thinking of you.

You are 100% correct.

Ice Maiden

Other people it is difficult for are those who lost a child or children. I know one person whose only child was stillborn and it is a painful day for her, because it should be her day, but it was taken from her.

Ice Maiden

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Other people it is difficult for are those who lost a child or children. I know one person whose only child was stillborn and it is a painful day for her, because it should be her day, but it was taken from her.

Very true, my folks lost their first & second born, Mum frequently mentioned them, I miss them myself even though I was born a few years after them, as my Mum often spoke to me about them both, part of the family there are. Infant deaths.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Thank you OP.
My mom passed away when she was 44. Although she was very young, she gave birth to me which is a very special act by anyone's standards and I'm sure the public thank her each and every day.

Augeo

Augeo wrote: »

If I was you I'd tell her that, break down in front of her if that what happens, she won't be there forever but you'll carry a lot of stuff (regret) around with you.

My mam is in the final stages of alzheimers now. She spends much of her time asleep or sits with her eyes closed. She doesn't know who I am but I talk away to her as I used to. Before she got to the stage she's at I did tell her I was sorry. Regret is a funny thing. I thought I didn't have any. But I will always regret things regarding my mam.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

My mam is in the final stages of alzheimers now. She spends much of her time asleep or sits with her eyes closed. She doesn't know who I am but I talk away to her as I used to. Before she got to the stage she's at I did tell her I was sorry. Regret is a funny thing. I thought I didn't have any. But I will always regret things regarding my mam.

Oh, Persepoly. Hugs.

I feel for people who know this is the last Mothers Day they'll share with their mums, a friend texted me about how he spent the day with his terminally ill mother, and how they both knew it would be the last. God, that must be so hard.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

La la la la

Candie

Candie wrote: »

Oh, Persepoly. Hugs.

I feel for people who know this is the last Mothers Day they'll share with their mums, a friend texted me about how he spent the day with his terminally ill mother, and how they both knew it would be the last. God, that must be so hard.

Thank you Candie and Lexie x

It is a sad time but life throws us these challenges and there are always people with far greater struggles. Your poor friend and his mum will treasure every second of today.

Lexie I remember reading a post of yours before and was very touched by it. You seem to have had a great relationship with your dad and death will never ever change that or take away your memories.