Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

alaskayoung

Hey all, hope you're all okay

I'm struggling quite a lot at the moment, that said I am holding it together so that's something. It just feels like I'm stumbling through every day and just about making it through the other side. I hate the idea that I'm wishing away every day of my life rather than being able to appreciate the present.

I'm quite frustrated because I feel like everything in my life is going reasonably well at the moment yet I'm still deeply unhappy. There just seems to be a growing list of things that are "wrong" with me. As soon as I get on top of something, something else is ready to take it's place as if my head is intent on prolonging my suffering. I went through pretty severe depression the past 2 or so months but now that it's somewhat lifted, my eating disorder has strengthened and feels as though it's slowly taking over my mind. Feeling quite unwell physically as a result of it and can't see anything changing much in the near future.

Meeting my new consultant tomorrow after my initial assessment a week ago. So relieved that they followed up so quickly as I really need some answers. There has been very little transparency the past few months in particular in terms of what they're thinking so looking forward to getting everything out on the table tomorrow. I'm assuming I'll be put back on medication which honestly I'm relieved about as these past 2 months without it have really brought to my attention how much I need it but that said, I know my eating disorder is going to complicate things in terms of options. I'm quite anxious about what they're going to say in terms of my diagnoses. I know labels don't change anything about my current situation but they will have an impact on my future as every condition has a different course of illness and prognosis.

Feeling quite emotionless and disconnected lately. I'm honestly too afraid to put any sort of hope into the meeting tomorrow as I don't want to be disappointed. If I have no expectations, I can have no disappointment, I don't know.

ciaradx

Has anyone else had issues with different generics of anti depressants?

I have been on venlafaxine for two months after duloxetine worked but gave me terrible headaches (brain zaps) and I had been on a generic called venex xl. I went to a different pharmacy to get my second month and got a different generic of venlafaxine. My headaches are back and I've gone downhill fast in the space of a week. Really foggy memory and feeling totally numb. I will be seeing my psychiatrist soon but kind of think it's an issue with the brand.

Gremlinertia

Trixy, that is a rotten situation to have to listen to, if it's at all possible could you tell all of them that you won't have a conversation if it's going to be about that?. Even on a short term basis it would take the load off while you cope with your own stuff first.

Alaska, it does feel like walking into one wall after another sometimes - keep pushing, keep talking to us fellow broken folk.. Bring a notebook and pen tomorrow, take your time with them, don't be rushed out the door after fifteen minutes. I always bring a bottle of water because it gives me a chance to pause and consider my next question or what I've just been told..

Gremlinertia

ciaradx wrote: »

Has anyone else had issues with different generics of anti depressants?

I have been on venlafaxine for two months after duloxetine worked but gave me terrible headaches (brain zaps) and I had been on a generic called venex xl. I went to a different pharmacy to get my second month and got a different generic of venlafaxine. My headaches are back and I've gone downhill fast in the space of a week. Really foggy memory and feeling totally numb. I will be seeing my psychiatrist soon but kind of think it's an issue with the brand.

Well Presuming you've read the packet and it was it says it is, I'd be back to chemist first to double check and ask there. If no joy it's doctor time really as annoying and expensive as that is..

trixychic

alaskayoung wrote: »

Feeling quite emotionless and disconnected lately. I'm honestly too afraid to put any sort of hope into the meeting tomorrow as I don't want to be disappointed. If I have no expectations, I can have no disappointment, I don't know.

Alaska there was so much in your post I could relate to and so much more foreign to me but I gooey 2 cents on the stuff I did know can help.

Feeling disconnected I know very well. Often my head feels full of cloud and its almost like my body is just floating through the rituals of day to day stuff. It's horrible. What I found helped was if I did something I enjoyed to try pull my actual thoughts away from my mind for just a bit.

Kind of like your mind is a box of clouds. Your thoughts are stuck inside. I would play piano so I would have to focus on reading the music, or read a book so my thoughts could explore the pages and adventures. It gave my thoughts a bit of time outside of the clouds and the box. It was still cloudy when I went back but not as bad. And the little break helped me continue through the clouds. It got easier over time and doesn't happen half as much now.

I hope I am making sense. I'm a visual person. I sound crazy (and I am) but if it could work for you it's worth sharing. I hope your meeting tomorrow goes ok. Keep us posted. Hugs and cuddles.

Hugo Stiglitz

My funk has escalated here. I think the self inflicted lack of sleep is kicking in.

trixychic

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

My funk has escalated here. I think the self inflicted lack of sleep is kicking in.

This is the time a Nintendo ds with pokemon comes in handy! But seriously. Hope your ok Hugo. Cuddles.

mansize

I had a good day today. Hopefully I will get some work shortly that I can handle

La.de.da

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

My funk has escalated here. I think the self inflicted lack of sleep is kicking in.

Hope things ease for you Hugo. Nearly the weekend. You can catch up on some sleep then hopefully.

Gremlinertia

Work is crawling a bit tonight, shouldn't complain of course..

La.de.da

mansize wrote: »

I had a good day today. Hopefully I will get some work shortly that I can handle

Great to hear.
I hope you can get something too.


I'm thinking of volunteering at one of the local animal rescues. A day a week or something.

Notsomindful

Insomnia kicking in..
Blah blah blah

Feels like a broken record

mansize

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Work is crawling a bit tonight, shouldn't complain of course..

Why not? Work can be a pain in the ass

mansize

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

My funk has escalated here. I think the self inflicted lack of sleep is kicking in.

Thinking of u dude

mansize

Guys take care. My sleep pattern is still haywire but I'm not too fussed by it atm

Gremlinertia

Hope you get rest Mansize.

Hugo Stiglitz

Thanks for the kind words.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words.

Always Hugo, us unfortunate regulars do try to mind each other a bit.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Always Hugo, us unfortunate regulars do try to mind each other a bit.

We may be unfortunate but we're fortunate to have each other here. x

Pablodreamsofnew

mickstupp wrote: »

I hope you don't mind, but this gave me the first laugh of my day. Thank you for that

Glad it made you laugh

Pablodreamsofnew

Insomania is driving me mad! I really can't seem to sleep. Lying awake at night is not fun.

alaskayoung

trixychic wrote: »

Alaska there was so much in your post I could relate to and so much more foreign to me but I gooey 2 cents on the stuff I did know can help.

Feeling disconnected I know very well. Often my head feels full of cloud and its almost like my body is just floating through the rituals of day to day stuff. It's horrible. What I found helped was if I did something I enjoyed to try pull my actual thoughts away from my mind for just a bit.

Kind of like your mind is a box of clouds. Your thoughts are stuck inside. I would play piano so I would have to focus on reading the music, or read a book so my thoughts could explore the pages and adventures. It gave my thoughts a bit of time outside of the clouds and the box. It was still cloudy when I went back but not as bad. And the little break helped me continue through the clouds. It got easier over time and doesn't happen half as much now.

I hope I am making sense. I'm a visual person. I sound crazy (and I am) but if it could work for you it's worth sharing. I hope your meeting tomorrow goes ok. Keep us posted. Hugs and cuddles.

Thank you, I'm quite a visual person too so I do like that concept. I suppose it's related to the idea of mindfulness, pulling yourself out of your head whether your time-travelling to the past or future and focusing on what's going on in the present. I'll admit that it's the element of the DBT programme I'm in that I struggle with the most. I think I just need to remember it more, it's easy to forget about it as unlike the other skills, its not a practical one.

Off to my psychiatrist appointment in a few hours and just trying to keep it out of my mind so far today as I'll just upset myself trying to predict what's going to be done or said. I'm going to go grab a coffee now and sit down and write the things I want to mention as nothing stresses me more than leaving and realising that I never brought up some of the things I wanted to. I'm so passed the stage of worrying about their reactions or what they think of me, this is their job and we have to be our number one advocates, nobody is ever going to care as much as we do. When you leave a meeting, they move onto their next patient but this is our entire life.

A little quote that I've been trying to keep in my head the past few days; "Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day".

trixychic

alaskayoung wrote: »

I'm going to go grab a coffee now and sit down and write the things I want to mention as nothing stresses me more than leaving and realising that I never brought up some of the things I wanted to.

A little quote that I've been trying to keep in my head the past few days; "Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day".

I love that quote and as for writing things down??? I am the list QUEEN. When we go somewhere for a day or for a week's holidays I have a list of what needs to be packed into the car, the bags, my handbag, and then I have a list of all the lists I have so I'll know if i misplace one. I couldn't live my life without lists.

I know I'm killing trees but I do recycle in other ways so it's all good. Best of luck today. Xxx

La.de.da

This be the 5/6th night in succession with no decent quality sleep.

Two hours last night that was it.
Feel total burn out on the horizon.

mansize

Awake too. But I can sleep tomorrow

La.de.da

mansize wrote: »

Awake too. But I can sleep tomorrow

Just run a bath with sh1t loads of lavender in. Here's hoping. !!

I'm like a feicin basset hound with the blood shot eyes!

Gremlinertia

So in a development today I've effectively finished therapy treatment, a nurse called and said with my psych gone they'll go back to seeing me every few months.. Feeling scared and down now.

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote: »

So in a development today I've effectively finished therapy treatment, a nurse called and said with my psych gone they'll go back to seeing me every few months.. Feeling scared and down now.

Do you feel ready for this? I ask because it would still be Ok to feel scared even if it is something which you might want to do.

If you truly don't feel ready, could you approach them and explain this?

I hope it doesn't bring you down too much.

Gremlinertia

It was a sudden and unexpected development delivered by a phone call so a bit rattled. Just needed to get it off my chest so i can help myself get my head around it..

trixychic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

So in a development today I've effectively finished therapy treatment, a nurse called and said with my psych gone they'll go back to seeing me every few months.. Feeling scared and down now.

Surely if you are not ready to be finished they can refer you to someone else??? That sounds awful. But your ok Grem. You are ok. Xxxx