Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

One More Toy

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

I'm just out of St Pats today after an eight week admission. They were absolutely fantastic. I had a different consultant than on my previous (not so successful) admissions, and I felt like she really took such an interest in my case from Day One and did everything she possibly could for me, really taking my views and wishes on board. It's a great hospital. If you have the health insurance to cover it, no harm giving them a call to arrange an assessment. I finally felt completely ready to come home, but if I could, I'd have happily stayed there much longer ... it's a very comfortable, safe, caring environment to be in. Feel free to PM me with any questions about it!

I'm on the Lustral too (I think - that's the same as sertraline, isn't it?) My anxiety heightened significantly for a few days, panic attacks etc. But has really calmed down since then. Hopefully things have improved for you too. My consultant says it's absolutely the best one to be on for anxiety.

I've just started on a Radical Openness DBT course - anyone here ever heard of it? It's a fairly new program, I think St Pats is the only place doing it in Ireland. I'll be continuing it for now as an out-patient. Finding it fantastic so far, only a week in!

I've no health insurance - too expensive, so waiting on an appointment from St James'

Has anyone any experience with the psychiatrist there?

If I bought health insurance now would I be available to utilise the likes of St pats?

Tell me how

Lady is a tramp wrote:

I'm just out of St Pats today after an eight week admission. They were absolutely fantastic. I had a different consultant than on my previous (not so successful) admissions, and I felt like she really took such an interest in my case from Day One and did everything she possibly could for me, really taking my views and wishes on board. It's a great hospital. If you have the health insurance to cover it, no harm giving them a call to arrange an assessment. I finally felt completely ready to come home, but if I could, I'd have happily stayed there much longer ... it's a very comfortable, safe, caring environment to be in. Feel free to PM me with any questions about it!

Lady is a tramp wrote:

I'm just out of St Pats today after an eight week admission.

Hi Lady. It's good to hear that you are in a better place right now. And that you had a positive experience in Pats.

I too spent a significant amount of time their some years ago. I feel that it was "part" of my treatment, not necessarily the silver bullet that fixed everything. Far from it, but it was good to feel in a cared environment for a time.

I also completed the Radical Openness program. That too was overall a positive experience but was very hard work at times and I know that within the group I was in some really struggled with it also. I think very foundly of the people I met during that time of my life and think of them frequently and wonder how they are doing but again, the program is only part of the path to recovery.

My darkest year was the year after I had experienced both of the above but I still view them as a positive influence on my treatment.

So, best of luck in the coming weeks and months. I hope you continue to improve and benefit from the course.

One More Toy wrote:

If I bought health insurance now would I be available to utilise the likes of St pats?

Yes I think so but it would have to be a suitable plan and there may be terms and conditions which you must satisfy. If you ring an insurance provider then you can ask them straight out. I would also ask them how many days you'd be covered for and how long before you could staet to avail of that cover.

There is a waiting list, generally, for Pats and you need to be referred by your Dr before considering admittance.
As said, it is good but is not the magic fix. As Lady above said, her latest experience was different to her first.

In my view, care and treatment can be received and be successful in different ways. There is no guarantee that the more it costs then the better it is so don't feel too despondent if it's not an option open to you right now.

Gremlinertia

Struggling today, physical pain is making it extremely hard to keep my mind steady at all.

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote:

Struggling today, physical pain is making it extremely hard to keep my mind steady at all.

Sorry to hear that. You working tonight or at home?

Gremlinertia

Working, it doesn't really mess with the job usually although i'm slower getting around, how are you doing?

bridgettedon

Tell me how wrote: »

In my view, care and treatment can be received and be successful in different ways. There is no guarantee that the more it costs then the better it is so don't feel too despondent if it's not an option open to you right now.

Yah I agree. I got my treatment via the HSE. It was all free even before I received a medical card. I received very good care overall. Waiting lists can be longer and I didn't have inpatient treatment so I'm not sure about hospitals stays.

Feeling a bit down tonight. I know it's due to a difficult time right now and it will pass. But the urge to act on my emotions is coming in waves. I'm trying to resist as I know I will regret it tomorrow.

I hope the pain passes soon for you Grem.

Tell me how

bridgettedon wrote:

Feeling a bit down tonight. I know it's due to a difficult time right now and it will pass. But the urge to act on my emotions is coming in waves. I'm trying to resist as I know I will regret it tomorrow.

Fair play for recognizing the impact it may bring for tomorrow. Hope you get a good night's rest.

Gremlinertia

Bridget, i've been the same treatment wise, health insurance being a kind of no go because my mental health is a 'pre-existing condition' so wouldn't be covered by most insurers i talked to.. Was with my therapist yesterday, she's great, very intelligent and willing to listen too however i always fail to make my point. I can talk the talk about treatment and applying skills etc but then i'm on my own and my head just goes into a downer and i've never managed to tackle it, though i'm still trying..

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote:

Working, it doesn't really mess with the job usually although i'm slower getting around, how are you doing?

I'm good thanks. That's not easy to say but I can see it and believe it. Don't want to jinx it. :0

Does your pain come on cycles, any chance that after its quite strong you get an upswing?

Gremlinertia

I have a condition as a result of an old injury, was in the pain clinic during the week and my range of mobility etc was tested, it's the after effects of that..

Stealthfins

I found Lustral really good 50 mg I was taking.
I was on them in 2010 for 6 months.

Back on them again since the beginning of March,I started to hit a low point.
But not being on them since 2010 is a good break.
I suffer from Anxiety too.
They kicked in much faster this time around,I get the odd bad morning.
But it's nothing compared to before I started taking them.

They take away that black hole feeling,that tearful feeling goes away.

What used to upset me doesn't and my energy is back again,feeling more balanced.

I was also suffering from back pain combined with stress,that back pain is gone too.

I'm not tensed up.

Euphoria Intensifies

All my mental health care has been through the HSE too, outpatient and inpatient. The care I've gotten since my most recent referral (start of last year) has been absolutely fantastic, which I think is mainly down to the consultant I have. The consultant I was under when I was younger wasn't half as good IMO. That really pisses me off though - everyone should be able to access the same quality of care irregardless of where they're based. It shouldn't be a lottery based on who your consultant is or where you live.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

All my mental health care has been through the HSE too, outpatient and inpatient. The care I've gotten since my most recent referral (start of last year) has been absolutely fantastic, which I think is mainly down to the consultant I have.

That's great to hear, EI. I'd love to be able to say the same here.

Juxtapose

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Was with my therapist yesterday, she's great, very intelligent and willing to listen too however i always fail to make my point. I can talk the talk about treatment and applying skills etc but then i'm on my own and my head just goes into a downer and i've never managed to tackle it, though i'm still trying..

Hey Grem, this really struck home with me. I've been seeing a new counsellor (i wont go into the old one here..) for about 8 weeks and he's really really helped. My moods have been up and i've been more proactive than i have been in years. The CBT is good but i still have no idea what it actually is (if that makes sense). I know its changing your mindset but as soon as i go into that dark place, theres nothing i can reach out for to pull me back up on my own.

I'm glad to hear you're still trying and that you found a comfortable therapist. Hopefully we can find a way to get past this stage. Thanks for your post, it made me feel less mad

bridgettedon

Juxtapose wrote: »

Hey Grem, this really struck home with me. I've been seeing a new counsellor (i wont go into the old one here..) for about 8 weeks and he's really really helped. My moods have been up and i've been more proactive than i have been in years. The CBT is good but i still have no idea what it actually is (if that makes sense). I know its changing your mindset but as soon as i go into that dark place, theres nothing i can reach out for to pull me back up on my own.

I'm glad to hear you're still trying and that you found a comfortable therapist. Hopefully we can find a way to get past this stage. Thanks for your post, it made me feel less mad

It just takes time. It is relearning how to cope with situations that previously overwhelmed you. It won't change overnight. I was in cbt for about 10 months. I don't think I made much progress at the start. Even getting out of bed was a struggle. I think cbt is very gradual. You will make tiny steps that won't mean all that much but over a period of time everything adds up. Even you say your moods are up and you're more proactive. That is amazing in 8 weeks. Best of luck.

bridgettedon

My mood has plummeted in the lat half hour. Oh great. I kinda know what it is due from. Like last night I know it will pass. I have to resist the temptation to comfort eat as I know it will make me feel worse in the long run. I also have to resist the temptation to reach out to someone. I know I won't get much back so hopefully that will deter me. It's hard caring for someone when they don't care for you all that much.

Juxtapose

bridgettedon wrote: »

It just takes time. It is relearning how to cope with situations that previously overwhelmed you. It won't change overnight. I was in cbt for about 10 months. I don't think I made much progress at the start. Even getting out of bed was a struggle. I think cbt is very gradual. You will make tiny steps that won't mean all that much but over a period of time everything adds up. Even you say your moods are up and you're more proactive. That is amazing in 8 weeks. Best of luck.

Thats very assuring, thanks for writing.
I guess i keep figuring theres a specific skill to rely on, like a saying or a word that resolves it. I know thats probably a bit far fetched, but i'm trying to still grasp what i'm learning.
Anyways, i won't take up the thread on this, its just nice to discuss it with people rather than walking away from a therapy session wondering what i actually learnt.

Edit : I hope you can get through today. Caring for someone without appreciation is really conditional. It's a very admirable thing you are doing and it takes a lot of strength. I can't really offer advice only that from my perspective you are doing something extremely courageous for someone else, even if they don't appreciate it, others do.

One More Toy

I actually thought I had serotonin syndrome last night. I had an awful headache and was really irritable, but my reasoning has came around that I'm 100% sure I didn't accidentally or otherwise take more snri than prescribed, must be a good old fashioned flu!

Euphoria Intensifies

I know it's utter **** having bpd the vast majority of the time, but those rare times when you feel good/positive feelings so intensely nearly makes up for it. Not the manic kind, but the "I love these things/people so much that I can physically feel it" feelings.

I know I'm going to look back at this post when I'm feeling the opposite and think I'm mental for saying this haha.

Gremlinertia

Right with you there EI, Simplest of things can bring me great pleasure at times. It's not often, but it's beautiful

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Right with you there EI, Simplest of things can bring me great pleasure at times. It's not often, but it's beautiful

Well said, Grem.

Gremlinertia

Oh hey there Hugo, been a while, how are you?

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Oh hey there Hugo, been a while, how are you?

Ah you know me, Grem. Up and down. Have been meeting with a counsellor to try to get a handle on it all. There have been some small improvements in ways, huge deterioration in others. For some reason, my Boards experience has deteriorated greatly, hence my absence our usual hangouts. I'm trying to get back though.

How are you, G?

Gremlinertia

It takes a frustrating amount of time, stay with it.. I'm doing ok, spending more time on boards than usual actually but what harm.. Mood swings still quite wild but trying my best to roll with them..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It takes a frustrating amount of time, stay with it.. I'm doing ok, spending more time on boards than usual actually but what harm.. Mood swings still quite wild but trying my best to roll with them..

Mindfulness is hard to achieve when being anxious with strong physical symptoms, but I'm going to keep on trying. I've done things lately that I wouldn't have been able to do without counselling help. That being said, a part of me wants to just throw in the towel and hide. I can't do that though, or otherwise it'll be another 15 years of a short life down the drain.

Boards is a good spot, and most of the people are nice. We could do far worse.

Sorry to hear that the mood swings are still very testing there.

Gremlinertia

It's tough, no doubt. There are times when i just want to sink back into my rut and stop fighting but i think that my stubborn nature might be pointing the right way finally. Instead of encouraging me to give in, it's helping me dig my heels in.. For instance the last couple of days were rough as hell, my physical pain issues were really messing with me but stubborn me refused to give in to it.. I'm taking all the wins i can right now.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's tough, no doubt. There are times when i just want to sink back into my rut and stop fighting but i think that my stubborn nature might be pointing the right way finally. Instead of encouraging me to give in, it's helping me dig my heels in.. For instance the last couple of days were rough as hell, my physical pain issues were really messing with me but stubborn me refused to give in to it.. I'm taking all the wins i can right now.

*hugs*

You're much stronger than I am.

We must be a pain in the side to our mental issues, not the other way around. We've dealt with their BS for long enough.

Gremlinertia

Yeah, turning the tables on it.. Well put Hugo..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Yeah, turning the tables on it.. Well put Hugo..

You flatter me, Grem!

Gremlinertia

I've heard it might get me places