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Ladies crashing the lads nights out - opinions please!

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    #32
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    One eyed Jack wrote: »

    This really is trivial, and that's why I'm not taking it seriously, because it's like something out of a teenage soap.

    Then please take your considered opinion elsewhere. You've said your piece.

    I'm not interested in defending myself when I don't need so so I'm not going to go point by point through your post. If you find things so trivial, you are also more than welcome to concern yourself with topics you find more well rounded.


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    #33
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    waffleman wrote: »
    If this happens regularly watch yourself and your OH.

    Ive seen it before - if one of yer guy's pals lets himself be manipulated by his GF she sees it as license to act like this with everyone close to him.

    You mention they are lifelong friends - even worse she will take the p!ss even more.

    keep your distance.

    Thanks Waffleman.

    The sad part is that I don't think she's a bad person, and I genuinely like her 99% of the time, but this has come as a bit of a warning sign.

    I didn't like that she tried to give out to me about my own BF (as if I wasn't going to have his back).

    Their relationship is relatively new and seemingly quite intense so hopefully it will just all calm down given time.


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    #34
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    smash wrote: »
    Why?

    Really? Because then the gay partner would be entitled to come along on a 'lads night out'? It's not really a lads night out though is it, it's just a bunch of old friends getting together but it could have been explained like that maybe.. Although judging by what the OP has written since it looks more like the girls bf is spineless and just used the meme pic to blame his mate rather than tell his gf no.


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    #35
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    This is where its all a little vague. I think she just assumed and he did nothing to correct her.

    So from the get go she didn't know? I fail to see how it's her fault then. And if she's the only girl who was going to go that's probably why she was offended at the no birds thing and why she would assume it's directed at her. I'm sure there's more to this than you know, and I'm sure it's all quite harmless and trivial. Things change.

    Ps it's February!


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    #36
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    riffmongous wrote: »
    Really? Because then the gay partner would be entitled to come along on a 'lads night out'? It's not really a lads night out though is it, it's just a bunch of old friends getting together but it could have been explained like that maybe.. Although judging by what the OP has written since it looks more like the girls bf is spineless and just used the meme pic to blame his mate rather than tell his gf no.

    Yeah to be fair, thats actually a good point. Its much more of an old friends catching up night out, they just happen to all be lads.

    By means of a bit of background, its the lads first ever serious relationship, and as I mentioned previously they're pretty full on with each other, as in very affectionate in public, moving in together next month, and already talking about what they're going to call their future children :o

    I'm hoping this is all a bit on inexperience and won't happen again.


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    #37
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    riffmongous wrote: »
    Really? Because then the gay partner would be entitled to come along on a 'lads night out'? It's not really a lads night out though is it, it's just a bunch of old friends getting together but it could have been explained like that maybe.. Although judging by what the OP has written since it looks more like the girls bf is spineless and just used the meme pic to blame his mate rather than tell his gf no.

    I know plenty of gay couples where one of them would regularly go on a lads nights out. It basically means partner's not welcome.


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    #38
    groovyg
    Registered Users Posts: 1,049 ✭✭✭groovyg


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    As everyone was home at Christmas, the lads had planned a night out and she basically tried to invite herself. She also was trying to rope me in, but I just said that since I hadn't finished up with work yet, that I didnt want to go out. She then text me and said that she heard it was my BF who didnt want her going on their night out, and what was up with that?

    When she said that that it was your bf that didn't want her going out you should have replied well he didn't want you joining them either as its a lads night out.
    I can't understand why she'd want to join them ..very strange. In situations like that where guy is bringing her along he will find himself alone all night with her in one corner while the rest of the group are having their own catch up.


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    #39
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    Yeah to be fair, thats actually a good point. Its much more of an old friends catching up night out, they just happen to all be lads.

    By means of a bit of background, its the lads first ever serious relationship, and as I mentioned previously they're pretty full on with each other, as in very affectionate in public, moving in together next month, and already talking about what they're going to call their future children :o

    I'm hoping this is all a bit on inexperience and won't happen again.

    I'm guessing you've been with your boyfriend since your early twenties or so? I'm asking this because people who started relationships at an early age seem to think that all relationships must move slowly with years of personal space before moving on to the next level ie moving in together. It's much easier to move at a faster pace when people are a bit more mature and have waited longer to meet the right person. It sounds like they just seem 'intense' in comparison to more immature relationships no?


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    #40
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    groovyg wrote: »
    When she said that that it was your bf that didn't want her going out you should have replied well he didn't want you joining them either as its a lads night out.
    I can't understand why she'd want to join them ..very strange. In situations like that where guy is bringing her along he will find himself alone all night with her in one corner while the rest of the group are having their own catch up.

    You could argue that originally this could have been an honest mistake on her part as maybe she assumed others were going, but by the time she started making a big deal about it, she did know that none of the other girls were going as she's spoken to me already and I'd told her it was a lads night.

    You're also right about the second point, he is very different around her. This lad used to be the last one off the dance floor, but now the two of them are attached at the hip and always leave early when together. Its very rare for him to go anywhere without her these days.


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    #41
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    smash wrote: »
    I know plenty of gay couples where one of them would regularly go on a lads nights out. It basically means partner's not welcome.

    Yeah, that's what I'm saying. One of them would go, the original lad not the partner


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    #42
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    Flippyfloppy wrote: »
    I'm guessing you've been with your boyfriend since your early twenties or so? I'm asking this because people who started relationships at an early age seem to think that all relationships must move slowly with years of personal space before moving on to the next level ie moving in together. It's much easier to move at a faster pace when people are a bit more mature and have waited longer to meet the right person. It sounds like they just seem 'intense' in comparison to more immature relationships no?

    Actually no, just under 2.5 years. We were 27 and 29 respectively.

    I just think we're different types of people. We didnt rush the professing our love and have always made sure to keep time for our external interests. I think we're just more independent minded people.


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    #43
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Does your BF know actually OP?


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    #44
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    riffmongous wrote: »
    Does your BF know actually OP?

    Does he know what? That she blamed him for her "not being allowed go"? (Direct quote)

    Yes - she told texted a few of the other girlfriends (who were all as perplexed as me) and it got back to him.

    He was not best pleased. He vented a bit for a while but seems to have gotten it mostly off his chest by now so he's fine with her when he sees her. I think he's just a bit wary now.


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    #45
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,678 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    You could argue that originally this could have been an honest mistake on her part as maybe she assumed others were going, but by the time she started making a big deal about it, she did know that none of the other girls were going as she's spoken to me already and I'd told her it was a lads night.

    You're also right about the second point, he is very different around her. This lad used to be the last one off the dance floor, but now the two of them are attached at the hip and always leave early when together. Its very rare for him to go anywhere without her these days.


    SarahMollie you appear to take an unhealthy interest in your boyfriend's best friends relationship, to the point where I'm wondering just what the hell is going on there?

    Sounds like "Snow White and the Nine Dwarfs" or something!!

    I'm sure Cinderella will know her place in time for next years pantomine...


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    #46
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    Actually no, just under 2.5 years. We were 27 and 29 respectively.

    I just think we're different types of people. We didnt rush the professing our love and have always made sure to keep time for our external interests. I think we're just more independent minded people.

    Sounds like your bfs friend has been completely independent up until now! No other couple is going to be exactly the same as you, and why would you want them to be? Can you not be happy for him and the fact they both seem happy to be with each other for now, and not hold it against them for going home early (doesn't take much to figure out what they'd be going home for!)

    Why ARE you still enmeshed in something that nearly happened on your boyfriends Christmas night out in February?


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    #47
    F1ngers
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 10,268 Mod ✭✭✭✭F1ngers


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    As everyone was home at Christmas, the lads had planned a night out and she basically tried to invite herself.

    This happened over xmas, did she actually go to the night out?


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    #48
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Ah OP, I think you might be better off in a different forum actually, if you are just looking for a chat about it


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    #49
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    TBH I dunno how this is a GC thread anyway. Can't see it getting any better than it has, so...

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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