Chainsaws.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Don't have one myself,but it seems everyone else does.

Scary fcukers.

Ruu

Got one in Aldi when I went in for a can of milk.

everlast75

Ya need a license to be able to rent one. True story!

Jayop

everlast75 wrote: »

Ya need a license to be able to rent one. True story!

So I can buy one in Aldi but I need a license to rent one. Irish law people. Lol

Geoffrey Dalton

In the Uk one needs to have the relevant NPTC to be able to buy one handled saws/climbing saws.

Jayop

Geoffrey Dalton wrote: »

In the Uk one needs to have the relevant NPTC to be able to buy one handled saws/climbing saws.

I wouldnt go near a powered saw because I don't have the training. They're dangerous yokes.

NachoBusiness

I bought one recently enough when I had gone out to buy a shears to remove bushes and huge weeds that were turning into beanstalks or something.

Thought feck it and bought it from Argos. Felt like a lumberjack for ten minutes.

Witchie

My uncle cut his thumb off with one but luckily it was just hanging on by a vein and my granny bandaged him with ice and got him to hospital and apart from a scar it's perfectly fine.

Dangerous feckin things.

Geoffrey Dalton

Witchie wrote: »

My uncle cut his thumb off with one but luckily it was just hanging on by a vein and my granny bandaged him with ice and got him to hospital and apart from a scar it's perfectly fine.

Dangerous feckin things.

Your uncle was incredibly lucky that your granny was available for first aid.

JackieBauer

Instruments of death

Jayop

Geoffrey Dalton wrote: »

Your uncle was incredibly lucky that your granny was available for first aid.

My brother cut off the thumb twice and the father in law once. Both still have ten digits.

Geoffrey Dalton

Jayop wrote: »

My brother cut off the thumb twice and the father in law once. Both still have ten digits.

They are special.

DEFTLEFTHAND

The Sinaloa and Arrellano Felix drug cartels have killed people by gutting the throat with a chainsaw. Sick bastards that they are, they sometimes record the killing and put it up on the web, LiveLeak has a couple of these vids.

hatrickpatrick

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

they sometimes record the killing and put it up on the web, LiveLeak has a couple of these vids.

Knew Isis were copying their methods of terror from others. Unoriginal f*ckers.

crazygeryy

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

The Sinaloa and Arrellano Felix drug cartels have killed people by gutting the throat with a chainsaw. Sick bastards that they are, they sometimes record the killing and put it up on the web, LiveLeak has a couple of these vids.

Excellent.kids have seen every bloody movie.we have something to watch now.

Menas

Chainsaws are grand. Unless you see someone like Leatherface with one. Then you should worry.

There was a man in snickers cutting down a tree outside my window last week.

He had a massive chainsaw.

sonny.knowles

everlast75 wrote: »

Ya need a license to be able to rent one. True story!

A TV licence?

corner of hells

Deleted User wrote: »

There was a man in snickers cutting down a tree outside my window last week.

He had a massive chainsaw.

What was he doing in a bar of chocolate ?

If marathon became snickers, should mars not be snunderpants ?

corner of hells

corner of hells wrote: »

What was he doing in a bar of chocolate ?

If marathon became snickers, should mars not be snunderpants ?

He'd look good in chocolate

pickarooney

That's nuts. Was he a nougat-y or the usual guy?

Turtyturd

Have 3 for juggling.

the evasion_kid

my father has some kind of chainsaw obsession,i think theres a name for it were they get some buzz off the roaring sound of it,he finds the most stupid s**t just to cut up and when hes not doing that hes meticulously maintaining it and as i type that he just went by the window with it......must have found some twigs to cut up.

RDM_83 again

Ah the Chainsaw

Skylinehead

BARTDOYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK?

mad muffin

I just use the mother in law…

CelticRambler

I have three! Two petrol, one electric. I love cutting up a whole tree! :cool:

ednwireland

Two a stihl 017 and an 038 ( 30cc & 62cc) got several trees I need to tidy up just don't have the time.

Sh1tbag OToole

CelticRambler wrote: »

I have three! Two petrol, one electric. I love cutting up a whole tree! :cool:

Can't bate the smell of fresh sawdust and half-burnt petrol and 2-stroke oil

nullzero

Always remember to keep the chain well lubricated. You don't want it flying off whilst you're using it.

CelticRambler

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Can't bate the smell of fresh sawdust and half-burnt petrol and 2-stroke oil

Feck. :mad:

Now you've got me thinking I should spend my afternoon carving up the rest of a knotty trunk that's lying on my boundary instead of taking my new camera for a walk.

Should never have logged on to Boards.ie instead of going to Mass ...

Azalea

Witchie wrote: »

My uncle cut his thumb off with one but luckily it was just hanging on by a vein and my granny bandaged him with ice and got him to hospital and apart from a scar it's perfectly fine.

Dangerous feckin things.

Cousin? The exact same thing to a tee happened to me dad. My poor gran seemed more traumatised than my poor dad.

MadsL

I have a cheap one. I have on many an occassion thrown it around the yard in frustration as the fecker refuses to start. I hate pull-start small petrol engine thingies, between the chainsaw and the leafblower they drive me demented.

(Yeah, yeah, fresh petrol, drain before storing...etc...)

ectoraige

Jayop wrote: »

My brother cut off the thumb twice and the father in law once. Both still have ten digits.

Do they still have their own ones or did they do swapsies?

fred funk }{

Ruu wrote: »

Got one in Aldi when I went in for a can of milk.

A can of milk?

Sam Kade

Aldi chainsaws are a hit and miss you could get a one that will last long enough to get the value out of it or you could get one that won't last pissing time. Either way if they stop working throw them in the skip. Don't go throwing money away trying to repair then.

Kat1170

Have three, Stihl 024 and two Husky's a 365 and a 550xp. Dangerous things without the correct training and PPE.

fred funk }{ wrote: »

A can of milk?

coconut ??

josip

Got a surprise years ago when driving to Stockholm and I saw a sign for Husqvarna.
Never realised they could be named after a place :eek:

Sir Osis of Liver.

Azalea wrote: »

Cousin? The exact same thing to a tee happened to me dad. My poor gran seemed more traumatised than my poor dad.

Is he out of the woods yet?

MadsL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE

Witchie

Azalea wrote: »

Cousin? The exact same thing to a tee happened to me dad. My poor gran seemed more traumatised than my poor dad.

Nope...this is my only uncle that doesn't have kids! Unless he just didn't tell us about you and sure if you were my child I wouldn't admit it either.

SafeSurfer

I have been around chainsaws all my life. My dad had a sawmill. Used to help him cut firewood as a kid. I'd hold lengths of timber on a "horse" for cutting into foot lengths. He was fantastic with a saw. Could fell a tree, de branch, and block it in minutes flat. He was meticulous with sharpening the chains with files. I still use chainsaws regularly. Don't know if I would be confident enough to let my 7 year old have his hand a foot away from the chain though. I suppose it was acceptable in the 80s. I'm still happy as Larry working with my saw.

Sh1tbag OToole

CelticRambler wrote: »

Feck. :mad:

Now you've got me thinking I should spend my afternoon carving up the rest of a knotty trunk that's lying on my boundary instead of taking my new camera for a walk.

Should never have logged on to Boards.ie instead of going to Mass ...

Hope ya didn't hit any stones

CelticRambler

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Hope ya didn't hit any stones

Thanks for worrying about it, but in the end I decided it was too warm a day for chainsawing, so the camera won.

SafeSurfer wrote: »

Don't know if I would be confident enough to let my 7 year old have his hand a foot away from the chain though. I suppose it was acceptable in the 80s.

I'm not sure, either, if I'd let a 7-year-old help like that, but a 10-year-old, yep! I had my two eldest helping me when they were about that age. SonNo.1 was mostly employed as a mule dragging 5-metre trimmed branches off to the side, while DtrNo.1 would be flitting about in the tree pulling the bitty stuff to one side as I trimmed it. It was amazing the way she could "read" the tree and know exactly where I'd be cutting next. :cool:

Hammer89

It was my weapon of choice in Vice City, but in real life I've never used one.

Rock fan

you can work with one all your life but you'll never make friends with one !
an awful lot of people have one and haven't a clue how to use one, revving and bolloxing making a load of noise and creating a mess. two bits of advice 1. sharp chain is essential 2. when the chain is sharp let the saw do the work ( maybe not so far as to let the cahin saw do the washing or ironing but you get the message )

Sam Kade

Rock fan wrote: »

you can work with one all your life but you'll never make friends with one !
an awful lot of people have one and haven't a clue how to use one, revving and bolloxing making a load of noise and creating a mess. two bits of advice 1. sharp chain is essential 2. when the chain is sharp let the saw do the work ( maybe not so far as to let the cahin saw do the washing or ironing but you get the message )

I see you know your chainsaws I started using chainsaws at 17 51 now

Rock fan

Sam Kade wrote: »

I see you know your chainsaws I started using chainsaws at 17 51 now

I presume that was aged 17 and now your aged 51 because if you only started using a chain saw 17.51 it would only have been a couple of hours ago !1:rolleyes: haha still have all your own digits ?

the evasion_kid

Rock fan wrote: »

you can work with one all your life but you'll never make friends with one !
an awful lot of people have one and haven't a clue how to use one, revving and bolloxing making a load of noise and creating a mess. two bits of advice 1. sharp chain is essential 2. when the chain is sharp let the saw do the work ( maybe not so far as to let the cahin saw do the washing or ironing but you get the message )

always worth checking for nails or bits of barb wire that are half grown into the tree.

Corpus Twisty

They can bite. I worked cutting timber for years, and saw ('scuse the pun) some right horrors where lads slipped/fell/kicked back etc etc) and got bitten. Into the jugular ftw in the "horrors" competition. Even after years of using them, I still regard them as handling a crocodile - mostly grand but occasionally horrific. Jonsered Turbos are also the best..regardless of what anyone else thinks. Nice and light, but plenty of bite.

Rock fan

Feckin hate that especially when cutting up pallets for the stove. flying through the pallet when you get that rotten metallic sound when you hit the nail or screw. cringe worthy sound altought even with out hitting metal nothing blunts the chain as quick as cutting pallets shaggin yokes must be made of titanium !