When you say "I love you" to someone and they don't say it back :(

The Bishop Basher

That he had the balls to be honest and finish the relationship is to be commended.

That he waited till you traveled over to the UK to meet him before doing it is one of the most arseholish things I've ever heard.

Sounds like your dealing with it and making plans. Best of luck and I hope all works out for you. Cliche I know but you've clearly dodged a large bullet and will look back and be thankful one day.

May 2016 be your year :-)

mrsdewinter

TracyFlick wrote: »

Update: well, having flown from Dublin to England to see him, and having been in China for a month before that, he dumped me yesterday and I had to drive down to London on New Year's Eve to stay with a friend. Cried the whole way in the car.

It was because I got frustrated with him being unwilling to commit to plans to see each other again. When I gently brought up the issue he said he doesn't love me and never will, and there's no point continuing. Ouch. Just wish I'd been able to spend the evening with my loved ones in Dublin instead of flying over to see him. What a waste.

Had to then flee his house once I'd formulated my escape route, with his housemates all there and knowing what was happening as I collected my stuff from the kitchen etc. I'll really miss the cosy group dynamic of his house share too

Really need to get my head straight about what to do after China in summer. Thinking it's time to head back to Dublin. So hard to know what's best. But didn't want to settle down in that city anyway. Decisions decisions. I knew my instincts were right

Thanks for reading, getting it all down here helps a lot.

Aw, God - *hugs*
That's a terrible thing to go through - the only positive is that you're starting 2016 with a clean slate.
Go easy on yourself & line up something nice for *you*.

Swanner

Swanner wrote: »

That he had the balls to be honest and finish the relationship is to be commended.

That he waited till you traveled over to the UK to meet him before doing it is one of the most arseholish things I've ever heard.

Sounds like your dealing with it and making plans. Best of luck and I hope all works out for you. Cliche I know but you've clearly dodged a large bullet and will look back and be thankful one day.

May 2016 be your year :-)

I mean the breakup was going to happen and the fact that they live apart means that it was either going to happen that way or end over the phone. They realized that the relationship just wasn't for them and was brought forward by what the OP was seemingly saying - something probably clicked and they realized. It wasn't nice that it happened that way, but it wouldn't have been nice regardless of how it happened.

From reading the OP, I don't think they had planned to breakup.

OP, I'm sorry it happened that way. But just know that you have a clean start now. Cut him out completely, because it'll only hurt you more.

Ursus Horribilis

If he didn't love her and never would, having her fly to England wasn't a nice thing to do. She had said the L word so it was out there and he had plenty of time to think about things.

Tasden

New year, new start. Do what you want to do and make 2016 brilliant for you better going it alone and happy than in a relationship that wasn't making you feel happy/secure. All the best for your new year.

CaraMay

When had you flown over to see him?

shamrock2004

Best of luck love, time is a healer and you will come around. All the best for 2016.

Pawwed Rig

If he hadn't done it face to face there would be folk calling him a coward etc so he couldn't really win in this situation.

Anyway there is never a good way to do these things. Best wishes OP. New Year new starts and all that.

TracyFlick

Thanks all. I'm glad he was definitive about it, finally, when pushed. I'm not glad that he gave no indicator that this was how he felt over the last 4/6 weeks even though he clearly knew it was going nowhere. We had promised to keep each other informed of our feelings while I was away, and I got nothing but radio silence until I brought things up. That's what pisses me off.

I would have preferred to have had more of an indicator what was coming, then I could have made the decision as to whether to fly out and have it out with him, or stay at home in Dublin. I know there's no right way to do these things. But he let me pay yet another £120 to change my flight to England from the morning to the afternoon as I was so hungover!! That was the time to pipe up. Also I'm just fortunate to have a rental car and a friend in England who could put me up at short notice. What the hell did he think was going to happen otherwise. Check into a hotel alone on NYE, with a massive suitcase?? Anyway just venting here rather than sending him angry messages.

It just hardens you when relationships seem to keep going nowhere, especially as you get older. Going to start at least doing research into jobs in Dublin over the next few months, and think about what will make me happy other than bloody relationships.

jeremymurphy

I am very sorry this happened and you are heart broken. But he is not worth it. A nice person would not have done what he did in my opinion. You are better than that and deserve better than that. I wish you well.