How to understand females? Understand this first!

TheLastMohican

Just read this in the Indo and realize, what I had secretly suspected for the past half century is in fact - fact.

Then passed it by the wife and got the usual funny look. It's Thanksgiving so her thoughts are more concerned with turkey matters than one of the great conundrums that keeps men awake at night.

Thank you Tanya for restoring my faith in my ability to solve the world's greatest mystery:

http://www.independent.ie/life/family/tanya-sweeney-women-are-complex-imperfect-and-messy-so-it-stands-to-reason-that-their-friendships-also-will-be-34236005.html

AnonoBoy

So what she's saying is that in some respects men and women are..... different?




Well I gotta say - this is news to me.






.

kettlehead

You celebrate thanksgiving?

DEFTLEFTHAND

Please don't tell me you celebrate Thanksgiving in Cork. At least tell me you or your wife are American.

TheLastMohican

kettlehead wrote: »

You celebrate thanksgiving?

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Please don't tell me you celebrate Thanksgiving in Cork. At least tell me you or your wife are American.

Yes to both questions. Happy Thanksgiving!

The_Valeyard

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Yes to both questions. Happy Thanksgiving!

Are you planning on shooting a few natives after then?

strelok

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Are you planning on shooting a few natives after then?

so edgy

sonny.knowles

Silly bints.

TheLastMohican

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Are you planning on shooting a few natives after then?

strelok wrote: »

so edgy

Will plead the 5th on the former and will include a few prayers for the latter.

Kev W

So basically women are people?

The things you learn.

jamesbere

Could someone tell me what's the article about so I don't have to read it

kneemos

There's a bow in that floor.

The_Valeyard

strelok wrote: »

so edgy

I'm a square?




So hurt......

Nodin

Kev W wrote: »

So basically women are people?

The things you learn.

Lies, and I have the drawings to prove it.

Fleawuss

jamesbere wrote: »

Could someone tell me what's the article about so I don't have to read it

Filling column inches by appearing to have something new to say about wimmin.

The_Valeyard

Would it be turkey at Christmas also OP?

biko

Women are people too. I don't get that this even needs to be stated in some rag.

the evasion_kid

lads all women want from you is everything and nothing, at different moments but all at the same time sometimes and never, but always.

parasite

barely-formed brainfart of an article, meh

Azalea

Women who go on about women being bitchy to their friends and competitive with other women really do need to emphasise that they're speaking for themselves.

jamesbere

jamesbere wrote: »

Could someone tell me what's the article about so I don't have to read it

A woman has an opinion about female friendships.

Because it's in the paper it's also a fact about all women, everywhere, forever.

TheLastMohican

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Would it be turkey at Christmas also OP?

Turkey four weeks later? You gotta be joking. Baked Ham, Sweet Potatoes, Sprouts (for the foreigners) etc.

The Sidewards Man

Stick it in.

ArtSmart

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Turkey four weeks later? You gotta be joking. Baked Ham, Sweet Potatoes, Sprouts (for the foreigners) etc.

foreigners? you mean the Paddys? ??

lol.

ArtSmart

Didn't Stephen Hawkins say something about the Great Mystery being wimmin? or was it the Black Hole?

or....


hmmmm.

better stop while i'm slightly ahead.

this is cool http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-27/star-torn-apart-by-black-hole-feeding-frenzy/6977188

colossus-x

I'd rather eat a waffle than read it.

Yakkyda

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Just read this in the Indo and realize, what I had secretly suspected for the past half century is in fact - fact.

Then passed it by the wife and got the usual funny look. It's Thanksgiving so her thoughts are more concerned with turkey matters than one of the great conundrums that keeps men awake at night.

Thank you Tanya for restoring my faith in my ability to solve the world's greatest mystery:

I'm 31,ive learned to agree with them and hope for the best. And if ye give out, make sure she/her mates don't hear you.

Tigger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haR_uf2Zv5A

Hammer89

It's a Saturday night in Whelans and I'm having a little dance with some young one who isn't completely out of my league, but definitely out of my league. Or is it the other way around? She was better looking than me. Let's leave it at that. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm big, tall and overall a bit bear-like. In an alcohol-filled environment, when girls go with their hearts instead of their heads thanks to the booze, I'm quite appealing.

At first, I don't know if I'm appealing to this particular girl. It could just be an innocent bit of dancing for all I know, right? But when we're not dancing, she does something which I think is a sure-fire sign that she wanted a bit more. She very intentionally grinds her arse against my willy in a very provocative manner. Had it happened in the 40s she probably would've been executed by the church. It was filthy, but I was pleased.

But like Stevie Wonder turning the pages of an upside down book, I could've been reading this completely wrong, and I'm not drunk enough to check whether or not I've been reading the signs. Sooner or later I'm drunk enough to unequivocally believe that she's keen. She's standing at her table, with her mates, and I try to lead her by the hand for another dance. This time she's having none of it, and gives me a look of disgust as if I was Hitler himself. I try to play it cool but my bottom lip was probably quivering via heartache. "But, but, your arse said..."

I'm over it within seconds and return to my dancing, looking out for the next bear hunter. Later on there's something which feels like a hand rubbing my lower back in an affectionate way. I turn around expecting to see my mate's red cock in a silly drunken prank, but it's only this devil woman again. Ah now here. I'm rather confused at this point, but I take her back and we've been going out ever since. Okay that's a lie. What actually happened was we started dancing - a little more intimate and closer this time, but then she flat-out ignored me when I tried to speak to her at the end of the night.

So yes, girls are weirdos. I love them - I was raised by a single mum in a house where I was the only bloke - but they're still absolute weirdos whose madness has no method.

Yakkyda

Hammer89 wrote: »

It's a Saturday night in Whelans and I'm having a little dance with some young one who isn't completely out of my league, but definitely out of my league. Or is it the other way around? She was better looking than me. Let's leave it at that. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm big, tall and overall a bit bear-like. In an alcohol-filled environment, when girls go with their hearts instead of their heads thanks to the booze, I'm quite appealing.

At first, I don't know if I'm appealing to this particular girl. It could just be an innocent bit of dancing for all I know, right? But when we're not dancing, she does something which I think is a sure-fire sign that she wanted a bit more. She very intentionally grinds her arse against my willy in a very provocative manner. Had it happened in the 40s she probably would've been executed by the church. It was filthy, but I was pleased.

But like Stevie Wonder turning the pages of an upside down book, I could've been reading this completely wrong, and I'm not drunk enough to check whether or not I've been reading the signs. Sooner or later I'm drunk enough to unequivocally believe that she's keen. She's standing at her table, with her mates, and I try to lead her by the hand for another dance. This time she's having none of it, and gives me a look of disgust as if I was Hitler himself. I try to play it cool but my bottom lip was probably quivering via heartache. "But, but, your arse said..."

I'm over it within seconds and return to my dancing, looking out for the next bear hunter. Later on there's something which feels like a hand rubbing my lower back in an affectionate way. I turn around expecting to see my mate's red cock in a silly drunken prank, but it's only this devil woman again. Ah now here. I'm rather confused at this point, but I take her back and we've been going out ever since. Okay that's a lie. What actually happened was we started dancing - a little more intimate and closer this time, but then she flat-out ignored me when I tried to speak to her at the end of the night.

So yes, girls are weirdos. I love them - I was raised by a single mum in a house where I was the only bloke - but they're still absolute weirdos whose madness has no method.

Wanna hug?!?

kettlehead

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Turkey four weeks later? You gotta be joking. Baked Ham, Sweet Potatoes, Sprouts (for the foreigners) etc.

The hack of that. If you served that to me on Christmas Day, I would shoot you!

Skoop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hmlPtRu1SQ

Feeeeeemales

Figbiscuithead

Jesus christ! I don't recognise my experiences with female friendships in that article at all. True, I've befriended some out and out cows in my life but it's been so few I can count them on two fingers and I put an end to both, realising the harm they were doing me (one took longer to end than the other, unfortunately). Any sniff of that kind of behaviour and I'm gone. Thinking back now, my female friends have always had my back, even the ones that didn't last due to moving country, job etc. Maybe I'm just very good at spotting decent human beings and have enough sense to run when I notice a woman is telling me I'm fat and is trying to steal my boyfriend.

Women that seem to encounter these kinds of women again and again are similar to the women who seem to end up with bastards again and again and decide all men are bastards as a result. Either these women make the choice to stick around, even when they realise a woman doesn't have their best intentions at heart or they're more similar to these kinds of women than they think - in my experience, if you come across a nasty woman, you can be sure her friends are not the nicest either. Anyway, it's a load of ****e. I know some people take pleasure in reading these kinds of articles because they want to assume the worst in women (and men when men are the topic), but dickhead has no gender.

circadian

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

dickhead has no gender.

This.

Azalea

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

Jesus christ! I don't recognise my experiences with female friendships in that article at all. True, I've befriended some out and out cows in my life but it's been so few I can count them on two fingers and I put an end to both, realising the harm they were doing me (one took longer to end than the other, unfortunately). Any sniff of that kind of behaviour and I'm gone. Thinking back now, my female friends have always had my back, even the ones that didn't last due to moving country, job etc. Maybe I'm just very good at spotting decent human beings and have enough sense to run when I notice a woman is telling me I'm fat and is trying to steal my boyfriend.

Women that seem to encounter these kinds of women again and again are similar to the women who seem to end up with bastards again and again and decide all men are bastards as a result. Either these women make the choice to stick around, even when they realise a woman doesn't have their best intentions at heart or they're more similar to these kinds of women than they think - in my experience, if you come across a nasty woman, you can be sure her friends are not the nicest either. Anyway, it's a load of ****e. I know some people take pleasure in reading these kinds of articles because they want to assume the worst in women (and men when men are the topic), but dickhead has no gender.

It's a well worn cliché but well worn because it's true: if you're finding constantly that SO many other people are dickheads, then perhaps it's time you examine your own character.

Dolbert

Azalea wrote: »

It's a well worn cliché but well worn because it's true: if you're finding constantly that SO many other people are dickheads, then perhaps it's time you examine your own character.

"I'm only friends with guys, girls are suuuuch bitches" - said exclusively by bitches

Feckin' wimmen.

I have nothing else to say, because I didn't want to read the article, but still wanted to fit in. So do we hate them or love them? Someone please tell me how I should feel.

the evasion_kid

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Feckin' wimmen.

I have nothing else to say, because I didn't want to read the article, but still wanted to fit in. So do we hate them or love them? Someone please tell me how I should feel.

love them......but hate the gun they're holding in their hand

Azalea

Dolbert wrote: »

"I'm only friends with guys, girls are suuuuch bitches" - said exclusively by bitches

... who seem to be unaware of their own genitalia, or irony.

valoren

Sismance?

Really?

Bromance. Yes I get that as a portmanteau.

Sismance?

GTFO

Huntergonzo

What was the point of that article? Basically all I got was we can have good friends to you know and we also tend to know the names of our friends parents, seemed like a lot of words just for that.

beks101

Christ. I think some people like the author of this article are just perpetual teenagers who never grow out of their own prejudices and unconsciously seek out the people that will prove them right time and again.

I see no difference between my female friendships and my OH and his male friendships, except that maybe we talk about different things. We catch up every so often because it's important to make the effort, we laugh and vent and moan and support each other and sometimes we outgrow each other because such is life.

I hate when people take normal things and twist and contort and exaggerate them through their own prejudiced prism so they sound exclusively like vagina things as oppose to human things. It does bloody nothing for the feminist cause and is probably why the F bomb has become a dirty word these days.

Figbiscuithead

Huntergonzo wrote: »

What was the point of that article? Basically all I got was we can have good friends to you know and we also tend to know the names of our friends parents, seemed like a lot of words just for that.

*Puts tongue in cheek* No you can't. Men are idiots and are only capable of relating with people on one level never mind remembering names! Leave the complicated human relations to the women, gentlemen and when I say complicated human relations I mean secretly wanting to gouge each others eyes out. *Takes tongue out of cheek*

Figbiscuithead

beks101 wrote: »

Christ. I think some people like the author of this article are just perpetual teenagers who never grow out of their own prejudices and unconsciously seek out the people that will prove them right time and again.

In the article she says, "The good news is that, as women get older, toxic, competitive relationships fall by the wayside. The ones left standing are the ones to cherish."

Ah right, so they grow up like both genders do and get a bit of cop on. Surprise surprise.

maudgonner

beks101 wrote: »

Christ. I think some people like the author of this article are just perpetual teenagers who never grow out of their own prejudices and unconsciously seek out the people that will prove them right time and again.

I see no difference between my female friendships and my OH and his male friendships, except that maybe we talk about different things. We catch up every so often because it's important to make the effort, we laugh and vent and moan and support each other and sometimes we outgrow each other because such is life.

I hate when people take normal things and twist and contort and exaggerate them through their own prejudiced prism so they sound exclusively like vagina things as oppose to human things. It does bloody nothing for the feminist cause and is probably why the F bomb has become a dirty word these days.

Thanks beks101, could not have put that better myself.

Huntergonzo

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

*Puts tongue in cheek* No you can't. Men are idiots and are only capable of relating with people on one level never mind remembering names! Leave the complicated human relations to the women, gentlemen and when I say complicated human relations I mean secretly wanting to gouge each others eyes out. *Takes tongue out of cheek*

You don't need to put tongue in cheek, men are idiots, trust me I know, I am one.

DEFTLEFTHAND

It's not a big deal that there's differences between men and women, it doesn't mean one gender is superior to the other. Don't be ashamed of your femininity or masculinity.

beks101

beks101 wrote: »

I see no difference between my female friendships and my OH and his male friendships, except that maybe we talk about different things.

Yeah - I have found myself the only way to understand the opposite sex is to stop seeing sex and start seeing individuals. And then you find out you understand them just fine. Or at least as fine as we as a species EVER do when understanding another person.

I think the "understand the opposite sex" is a self perpetuating myth. Because we genuinely do have trouble connecting with and understanding other individuals. So when you take a fallacious route to understanding them - such as viewing them by what sex they are - you will fail to understand them.

Then what that does in the mind is say "I tried to understand this man/woman in terms of them being a man/woman - crap I just do not understand men/women".

And then we ramify this in each other by confirming it to each other. One goes down the pub and moans to mates "I just do not understand women lads - I just don't get them" to nods of approval and confirmation from the peers.

The failure is not in understanding the opposite sex however. The failure is trying to understand other individuals in your life - through fallacious generics like sex. Or race. Or creed. Yet we as a species do it so readily.

TheLastMohican

Since everybody nowdays is gender fluid - flitting psychologically between one sex and the other - surely we should be able to understand people of our own sex one day and the opposite sex the next day/week/month.

To be honest, I don't believe in this all-too-agreeable virtue signalling. Wherever I came from ....... I'm male and I understand men better than I understand women. But I could not marry/sleep with a fella, so there's the crux! Women can have almost intimate friendship with women but I don't think a hetero man can with men. The nature of the beast, I guess.
The balance of nature probably. If the world was exclusively full of either self replicating females or males ............. the struggle for gene advancement would still flourish, generally by violent means.

Hammer89

Yakkyda wrote: »

Wanna hug?!?

Are you a woman? If so, as soon as I go for the hug you'll probably call the police. I know your game and I'm not playing.