Crying

Whitewinged

I think this was done before but a few years ago.

Anyway i don't cry too much but i have cried before at a sad movie or if something really upset me. It's kind of a release if you feel sad and I can't imagine not being able to do it.

I've never seen a man cry, not even at a funeral.

If you do see someone cry, do you think it's a sign of weakness or do you automatically sympathise with the person or a bit of both?

For both the men and women, do you know, all there is to know, about the crying game?

Ruu

Weakness? Absolutely not. It is just a release, healthy release. It has been ages since I had a good cry, 3 years ago after my first marathon (not pain, just emotions).

suicide_circus

I should probably cry more than I do. I have "caught" myself not allowing myself to cry on many occasion.

I've seen all the male members of my family cry, there are situations that absolutely warrant it. I'd never think less of people, male or female, for crying, unless it was over some triviality - but even then it can be a final-straw situation so it's hard to judge.

People crying because of a bit of a disappointment, or because they were pulled up in work over something relatively trivial, I've no time for. Sort things out and behave professionally in a professional environment. Obvious exception for extreme or prolonged stress.

People who cry from frustration are particularly hard to deal with, as they're usually unable to articulate themselves and this is why they get frustrated. That can be really draining and wearing, like dealing with obstinate toddlers.

Sir Osis of Liver.

A fellow I work with cries all the time.
Its fcukin awkward and embarrassing to be around a 50 year old cry baby.

C'mon ta fcuk.

intheclouds

I cry loads.

I cried a bit in the gym today seeing the images from France. I cried in the car yesterday at a sad song. I cried the day before at a beautiful view. Nature often moves me to tears.

Better out than in I say!

Charlie19

If you don't cry after watching the movie 'Marley and me'

You're not human.

LETHAL LADY

I haven't had a good auld bawl in years, but I do get teary-eyed at the most silliest of things quite often.
Definitely don't think of it as a weakness though as it can be a really healthy release of emotions when necessary.

play it again

Charlie19 wrote: »

If you don't cry after watching the movie 'you me and Marley'

You're not human.

You me and dupree ? Or marley and me ? :pac:

The image of the dead Syrian child on a beach in Turkey made me choke back a few tears.

Apart from that, a few things will bring a lump to the throat, like any time I read Yeats "When You Are Old".

Charlie19

play it again wrote: »

You me and dupree ? Or marley and me ? :pac:

Ha ha.
Yup that's it..
Marley and me:)

blade1

I hadn't cried since primary school up until 5 years ago when my father died.
I was 38 and forgot what it felt like to cry but it kind of felt good to get some of what I was feeling out.

Teyla Emmagan

Crying is good for you. Let it out peeps!

One eyed Jack

I'll sometimes choke up alright, but crying is just, well, I can't remember the last time I cried really, not since I was a child.

It's not the "boys don't cry" thing or anything like that though, or that I see it as a sign of weakness, I just don't think about it at all really.

If I see someone crying, it's important to consider context - sometimes they're being a drama queen, sometimes they're crying for joy, sometimes they're crying in pain, but the worst crying of all is someone crying when they've had their heart broken or their heart is breaking.

Sometimes people genuinely are overcome with emotion, and I can empathise with that, but when someone turns on the waterworks at the drop of a hat, I just can't entertain that at all.

nullzero

Roy Orbison was known for it in occasion.

eviltwin

Its good to cry sometimes, get your feelings out. Its healthy. Nothing worse than see someone too proud to cry bottle it up and express their pain in less healthy ways.

KKkitty

At one stage of my life I cried at everything. Things happened that were beyond my control and I completely did a 180 spin. I tried not to cry so many times. Now I try not to suppress it.

Whitewinged

nullzero wrote: »

Roy Orbison was known for it in occasion.

Reminds me of The Only Fools and Horses episode

blackbird 49

Had a little cry last week, an uncle of mine was diagnosed with cancer he lives on his own as was not doing too good could see him going down hill, on top of that he fell and broke a bone in his back so he is back in hospital where he is being well looked after so I am happier now

Lau2976

I cry all the time. I just can't help it!

Known my bf nearly all my life and I've only seen him cry once that entire time. When his step father passed. He doesn't find that it helps him.

For Forks Sake

Watch this and report back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iccscUFY860

Turtyturd

Funerals used to be the only time for me, not hearing that someone had died but at the funeral, specifically when the music plays.

Find I am a lot more prone to it since having kids.

play it again

Is there any proof it's actually good for you or are we just being told it's good for you by the more touchy feely bleeding hearts that think constantly wearing your heart on your sleeve and being all emotional is totally natural , I've never felt like this and I've lost close ones and been in circumstances where I should have cried but didn't feel the need to

Tell me how

I cry more than I would like.
Have dealt with various degrees of depression on and off for quite a while. One period where it was particularly bad I probably cried at least once every day for months.

I can't say it helped me, used to leave me feeling very sad.

I think it mostly should be a private thing.

I do feel empathy with people when they are genuinely crying over something. It's like "Fcuk. I know what that feels like".
People who cry when they get voted in or out of XFactor or Big Brother can FRO.

Andre 3000

I rarely if ever cry. I can never cry at funerals, even if I really wanted to I just cannot cry at funerals. I used to cry without fail in Brook's scene in Shawshank in his letter to Andy. James Whitmore's voice and the music certainly didn't help the cause there...such a sad scene.

Andre 3000

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Watch this and report back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iccscUFY860

You surely cannot be serious?

KERSPLAT!

Cried a few weeks ago over something that happened but Jaysus, I'd say it was years before since I last cried before that.

I don't see it as a weakness if I see someone cry, it's just something I very rarely do myself.

SMJSF

Death and seeing other people crying sets me off balling. Even if its on tv.

One eyed Jack

play it again wrote: »

Is there any proof it's actually good for you or are we just being told it's good for you by the more touchy feely bleeding hearts that think constantly wearing your heart on your sleeve and being all emotional is totally natural , I've never felt like this and I've lost close ones and been in circumstances where I should have cried but didn't feel the need to

There's plenty evidence to support the idea that it isn't good for your mental health to suppress your emotions, and it has nothing to do with "being all emotional is totally natural". Being yourself is totally natural, and if, like myself or yourself, we just don't feel particularly overcome with emotion when other people are, there's nothing unusual or whatever else about that either. It is what it is.

DavyD_83

Turtyturd wrote: »

Funerals used to be the only time for me, not hearing that someone had died but at the funeral, specifically when the music plays.

Find I am a lot more prone to it since having kids.

Yep, seems like becoming daddy has flipped a switch for me. I used to shed the odd tear at ear jerker movies, and could never handle funerals, but since my daughter exists it's a whole different level. Can't handle any sort of family loss in movies, and then there's the random tear when you just see how deadly she is in loads of little ways. Anyways OP it's natural, just don't be a blubbering mess in work or where it makes ppl feel uncomfortable. And fact you've never seen a man cry seems slightly sad in itself. Either every man you're close is too 'manly', which is nonsense, or maybe you're just not close enough to any to witness it. I think in general, men try to only let ppl we really trust see us cry (still seem as a sign of weakness by most)

mud

I'm a crier. Most of the time it makes me feel better, calmer and a bit tired. Other times it's at a really inopportune moment and I hide it or suppress it and that makes me feel bad. Lost a good friend recently and find myself welling up several times a day. That's natural though. Hate when tears come at work or a similar situation. I always politely excuse myself and get composed before returning to the situation. It's a stress thing I guess, so the tears can be close to the surface quite a lot. I'm quite empathetic too so if I see someone I know who's upset I'll more than likely be shedding tears also. I cry at happy and sad things by the way! I'm a crier :pac:

Today was spent at the funeral of a friend who committed suicide during the week.

There were tears. From men, and from women.

Crying isn't a weakness. Everyone should cry if they need to cry.

Whitewinged

One eyed Jack wrote: »

There's plenty evidence to support the idea that it isn't good for your mental health to suppress your emotions, and it has nothing to do with "being all emotional is totally natural". Being yourself is totally natural, and if, like myself or yourself, we just don't feel particularly overcome with emotion when other people are, there's nothing unusual or whatever else about that either. It is what it is.

You know that's one of the reasons that i was thinking of it because my nephew fell the other day. He's only six and his reaction first was anger. He punched the floor but but he is not an angry kid. He is actually very diplomatic. He's naturally not that affectionate but in saying that he is very protective of my daughter, his "little cousin". I don't think he has been conditioned not to cry but it is just who he is but I do think some boys can feel they are not allowed to cry.

mud

Whitewinged wrote: »

You know that's one of the reasons that i was thinking of it because my nephew fell the other day. He's only six and his reaction first was anger. He punched the floor but but he is not an angry kid. He is actually very diplomatic. He's naturally not that affectionate but in saying that he is very protective of my daughter, his "little cousin". I don't think he has been conditioned not to cry but it is just who he is but I do think some boys can feel they are not allowed to cry.

That makes me feel sad. (but I'm not crying! :P )

Hate the thought of small humans being taught they're not supposed to cry. If I ever have kids I'll never tell them any such thing. Gender stereotypes cause so much damage.

(I don't mean to imply that your nephew is being taught not to cry I'm speaking generally)

Whitewinged

DavyD_83 wrote: »

And fact you've never seen a man cry seems slightly sad in itself. Either every man you're close is too 'manly', which is nonsense, or maybe you're just not close enough to any to witness it. I think in general, men try to only let ppl we really trust see us cry (still seem as a sign of weakness by most)

Ah no its not like that! I have seen many emotions including deep sadness from men who I am close to. They just never shed a tear because of it, thats all.

KKkitty

A soap I watch called Hollyoaks recently had a stillborn storyline. I lost two babies before the 12 week stage in pregnancy and it brought it right back as to I initially felt at the time. Sometimes I feel silly for crying at soaps but if it helps get some emotions out it can't be that bad.

One eyed Jack

mud wrote: »

That makes me feel sad. (but I'm not crying! :P )

Hate the thought of small humans being taught they're not supposed to cry. If I ever have kids I'll never tell them any such thing. Gender stereotypes cause so much damage.

(I don't mean to imply that your nephew is being taught not to cry I'm speaking generally)

There seems to be a gender stereotype floating about in this thread though that some people think it's sad that some people have never seen a grown man cry. Why would you want to?

I've not seen too many women cry in my life either and I don't think it's sad that I rarely see grown women crying. Again, I wouldn't want to.

I don't think it's gender stereotyping or boys learning that they're not supposed to cry or they're too proud to cry or anything like that. I just think that it's people, regardless of their gender, react in different ways with different emotional responses, or don't react with any emotional response at all.

I've buried relatives and I've been in the delivery room when my child was born and I was very conscious of people analysing my deportment for an emotional reaction, and there was simply none forthcoming. It wasn't because I was trying to hold anything back or anything like that. I just didn't "feel" the emotions that other people expected of me at those times was all.

Medusa22

I don't see crying as a sign of weakness, though some people cry at the drop of a hat. Usually I am just very uncomfortable and I have no idea what to do when someone cries, I just feel very awkward and I don't know how to respond but I do empathise of course (well unless the reason is something incredibly trivial, like they broke a nail )

I cry every once in a while myself, but usually on my own or I'd cry in front of my OH alright but that's about it. I've never cried watching a film though. I have seen a man cry but only a handful of times, at the most.

Edited to say that I find it very hard to cry at funerals (maybe it's because I'm in public, I don't know), and it makes me very uncomfortable because people seem to be expecting that kind of reaction from me (especially when it is a relative) and I'm there trying to squeeze a tear or two out so I don't look like I'm made of stone :P

Jim Bob Scratcher

Nothing wrong with a good old cry. The auld drains need clearing every now and again, it's healthy.

mud

One eyed Jack wrote: »

There seems to be a gender stereotype floating about in this thread though that some people think it's sad that some people have never seen a grown man cry. Why would you want to?

I've not seen too many women cry in my life either and I don't think it's sad that I rarely see grown women crying. Again, I wouldn't want to.

I don't think it's gender stereotyping or boys learning that they're not supposed to cry or they're too proud to cry or anything like that. I just think that it's people, regardless of their gender, react in different ways with different emotional responses, or don't react with any emotional response at all.

I've buried relatives and I've been in the delivery room when my child was born and I was very conscious of people analysing my deportment for an emotional reaction, and there was simply none forthcoming. It wasn't because I was trying to hold anything back or anything like that. I just didn't "feel" the emotions that other people expected of me at those times was all.

I totally get that not everyone has the same emotional response. There is no black and white answer to how you will react to any given situation. I guess I'm more referring to people who DO want to cry but feel that they can't because of societal "norms".

I am touched by what you said about people looking at you for your reaction. That's a bit mad. I'd have been raging if that happened to me.

Tasden

When I cry it's purely a physical response to how I'm feeling and I couldn't stop it if i tried.

So if I'm angry, even though I may not be at all sad or "vulnerable" or what have you, i will probably still cry. And its annoying cause I could be having a fight with somebody and be nothing but absolutely furious and I'll cry and it will look like I'm upset even though it's just sheer frustration/anger.

It can also be seen, as some have mentioned, as attention seeking or drama queen-ish to cry often, and I know that sometimes people see crying during an argument as being a way to manipulate (girls are especially accused of this) the person into backing down or whatever, but sometimes its just a genuine physical release that can't be controlled even if the person tries their damn hardest to keep it in!

Medusa22

Tasden wrote: »

When I cry it's purely a physical response to how I'm feeling and I couldn't stop it if i tried.

So if I'm angry, even though I may not be at all sad or "vulnerable" or what have you, i will probably still cry. And its annoying cause I could be having a fight with somebody and be nothing but absolutely furious and I'll cry and it will look like I'm upset even though it's just sheer frustration/anger.

It can also be seen, as some have mentioned, as attention seeking or drama quuen-ish to cry often, and I know that sometimes people see crying during an argument as being a way to manipulate (girls are especially accused of this) the person into backing down or whatever, but sometimes its just a genuine physical release that can't be controlled even if the person tries their damn hardest to keep it in!

This happens to me too! I feel so annoyed when I cry when I'm having an argument with someone but if it becomes a yelling match then I just can't help crying, even though I am not feeling upset at all, just enraged.

Tasden

Medusa22 wrote: »

This happens to me too! I feel so annoyed when I cry when I'm having an argument with someone but if it becomes a yelling match then I just can't help crying, even though I am not feeling upset at all, just enraged.

It's so annoying cause it just adds to your anger because your body is failing you! :pac: and i am an ugly crier so its a double whammy!

mzungu

Thread reminded me of this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee925OTFBCA

Medusa22

Tasden wrote: »

It's so annoying cause it just adds to your anger because your body is failing you! :pac: and i am an ugly crier so its a double whammy!

Yes, I feel embarrassed and like my argument is being undermined :pac: Oh +1 on being an ugly crier, my nose swells to about 4 times its actual size and turns as red as a tomato, it is not appealing

Azalea

Tasden wrote: »

It's so annoying cause it just adds to your anger because your body is failing you! :pac: and i am an ugly crier so its a double whammy!

Sobbing and... not... being... able... t-to... sob... get... the... words... sob... out - is embarrassing too! :pac:

Tasden

Azalea wrote: »

Sobbing and... not... being... able... t-to... sob... get... the... words... sob... out - is embarrassing too! :pac:

I'm so happy at how accurate this post is
The trembling chin and intake of breath- oh god its awful!

mud

Azalea wrote: »

Sobbing and... not... being... able... t-to... sob... get... the... words... sob... out - is embarrassing too! :pac:

My Dad calls this 'hegging'

"Stop that aul hegging"

"I *gasp* I *gasp* I *gasp* I *gasp* caaaaaaan't \bawls"

Tasden

mud wrote: »

My Dad calls this 'hegging'

"Stop that aul hegging"

"I *gasp* I *gasp* I *gasp* I *gasp* caaaaaaan't \bawls"

That's the worst! When somebody tell you to stop crying, I would give anything to be able to stop in those situations!

MilesMorales1

I can't remember the last time I cried, maybe when I was a child, before I was a teenager? Don't know why, its just not in my nature. I can't stand people crying neither, I have no idea what to say or do.

One eyed Jack

mud wrote: »

I totally get that not everyone has the same emotional response. There is no black and white answer to how you will react to any given situation. I guess I'm more referring to people who DO want to cry but feel that they can't because of societal "norms".

I am touched by what you said about people looking at you for your reaction. That's a bit mad. I'd have been raging if that happened to me.

Ah I know alright what you mean about social expectations and stuff and people holding back, stiff upper lip kinda thing Someone mentioned "Marley and me" earlier, I didn't get it, but it's not safe to be around me if we're watching E.T. or Charlie Saint Cloud...

Buckets, buckets I tell ya! :pac:

(even getting glassy eyed and itchy nosed thinking about 'em now )


The other people analysing me is a strange one alright, my aunt (love the woman to bits) was holding my hand at my brothers graveside and she kinda whispered to me "it's ok to cry", and up until that point I was fine, but just when she did that, I choked up!

The time my child was born, the nurses handed him over, and they had that giddy expression of expectation on their faces like "we just delivered a baby, isn't this so exciting!", and I was more amused by their expressions, until they asked me did I want to hold the baby, and I wearing a white shirt. My first thought was like "Well this wasn't very practical now, was it?" :pac: