Urban myths people always pass off as 'true'

thelad95

Do you ever cringe when you hear people tell you a story about something that happened to their friends cousin when you know it's an urban myth that you've read and heard about countless times? Here are a few examples:

The person with the pet snake that started stretching out vertically beside it's owner in bed. The owner takes it to the vet who says it's preparing to eat the owner.

The person who shifted a guy in (insert European city, usually Amstersam). He asks her to come home with him but she says no as she doesn't want to get separated from her friends. A few weeks later she's getting a medical checkup when the doctor discovers strange traces of mould and blood on her lips. She tells the doctor about the guy who is then arrested and loads of dead bodies are found in his house.

The 'lob it up there boss' story with the traveller girl. I don't know how many stags this has supposedly happened on.

Guy gets with girl, goes back to her house, is in the middle of having sex when her boyfriend comes home. He hides in the wardrobe and of course her and the boyfriend have sex and he **** into your mans suit and sneaks off when they fall asleep.

I'm sure there's plenty more out there, I just don't know how people are sad enough to pass them off as having happened somebody they know when they are well known urban myths.

MilesMorales1

That one about Bill Murray eating the girls chips then saying 'no one will ever believe you'

Fr_Dougal

The one about the Chinese food.

the evasion_kid

The one about the dog food

fleet_admiral

The one about the asylum seeker leaving the buggy on the bus and saying 'ill get another one off the social'

MilesMorales1

fleet_admiral wrote: »

The one about the asylum seeker leaving the buggy on the bus and saying 'ill get another one off the social'

Sure was that not a boards joke?

tupenny

Bono and Springsteen

fleet_admiral

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Sure was that not a boards joke?

I heard it first in 2005 just before I joined boards

NIMAN

That we swallow 6 spiders per year whilst sleeping.

drunkmonkey

It's illegal to marry your cousin.

maximoose

There are more people alive now than have ever died.

Dumb crap probably born on a facebook meme that I've heard 2 or 3 times recently, utter bollix.

Bono/Bruce Springsteen in Dublin.

Will Smith "hit the ground" in an elevator.

Beckhams/Beyonce/Lampards trying to take someones wedding date.

kirk buttercup

The one where the girl gets a nasty infection in her lady parts only to find out her boyfriend has been having Relations with the Dead ... Ive been told that story on three seperate occassions.

Bulbous Salutation

The innate 'wit' of the average true blue Dub.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

fleet_admiral wrote: »

The one about the asylum seeker leaving the buggy on the bus and saying 'ill get another one off the social'

Asylum seeker, Polish woman, traveller or skanger, depending on who you talk to

NoCrackHaving

The snopes website is great for these.

mad muffin

The one where vegans tell you about milk causing osteoporosis.

Mr.Carter

More than 50% paid their water bill.

byronbay2

The one about the lad pulling the gorgeous "girl" in Thailand. All went well until he dropped the hand etc.

Corholio

The one where people are claiming things are urban myths when they have absolutely no idea if they are or not.

Wizard!

The one with the introduction of potatoes to certain communities. Where nobody wanted the potatoes, until they secured them in a guarded silo. Then all of them where stolen during the night.

There's one about a girl who goes home with a chap she met in the nightclub, following morning he heads off to work tells her to let herself out etc. She thinks he's great, goes for a dump, floater, won't flush. She gets a plastic bag from kitchen caputures it and leaves it on table while she heads outside to see where wheely bin is, door closes and ooooops turd left on plastic bag on kitchen table.

Heard that a few times, first time though a lad living near me (bit of a talk before think type) told us that in the local, except it was factual and his daughter was the lady involved, she was absolutely scarlet about it so ....

Duggy747

That a full moon causes people to go crazy / commit crimes.

valoren

"Hi, Bruce Springsteen, will you take a picture of us with Bono when he get's back from the jacks?"

jimgoose

Wizard! wrote: »

The one with the introduction of potatoes to certain communities. Where nobody wanted the potatoes, until they secured them in a guarded silo. Then all of them where stolen during the night.

That is a variation of a true story - Captain James Cook vastly improved the scurvy situation on his ships by convincing the crew to eat plenty of sauerkraut. He did this by letting it be known that the sauerkraut barrels were for the use of the captain and officers only, so of course the lads started stealing it.

mapaca

That people put "Baby on Board" stickers on their cars in case of an accident, to let paramedics know to look for a baby in the car. Not true!

Wizard!

jimgoose wrote: »

That is a variation of a true story - Captain James Cook vastly improved the scurvy situation on his ships by convincing the crew to eat plenty of sauerkraut. He did this by letting it be known that the sauerkraut barrels were for the use of the captain and officers only, so of course the lads started stealing it.

True. But you can read many variations for all over Europe. Russia, England, Greece, Spain, Germany, Belgium and every country support the myth as their own.

fleet_admiral

Allen Alive Corkscrew wrote: »

Asylum seeker, Polish woman, traveller or skanger, depending on who you talk to

I would be very surprised to hear that story about a pole since they are all hard workers and sound

FionnK86

The ridiculously disgusting story of the dirty couple in the poorer school in town. They are having a fun time in bed, when the girlfriend asks the boyfriend to put some sweets,usually Smarties in *Ahem* somewhere where smarties shouldn't go. In goes 4 or so smarties, boy then removes said smarties with his tongue and digests them.

But there are 5 smarties! Shock horror, the extra one was supposed to be a sack of crab eggs....so rotten. And of course, that's been told about every couple in that school...

fleet_admiral

FionnK86 wrote: »

The ridiculously disgusting story of the dirty couple in the poorer school in town. They are having a fun time in bed, when the girlfriend asks the boyfriend to put some sweets,usually Smarties in *Ahem* somewhere where smarties shouldn't go. In goes 4 or so smarties, boy then removes said smarties with his tongue and digests them.

But there are 5 smarties! Shock horror, the extra one was supposed to be a sack of crab eggs....so rotten. And of course, that's been told about every couple in that school...

wtf

faceman

thelad95 wrote: »

The person with the pet snake that started stretching out vertically beside it's owner in bed. The owner takes it to the vet who says it's preparing to eat the owner.

The vet guy who used to be on the Ray D'arcy show on Today FM got a text in with a question about this (along the lines of my snake is affectionate with my son, blah blah, lies beside him in his bed). The vet told them to get rid of the snake, it was sizing him up.

We were trolled on National Radio

Bulbous Salutation

FionnK86 wrote: »

The ridiculously disgusting story of the dirty couple in the poorer school in town. They are having a fun time in bed, when the girlfriend asks the boyfriend to put some sweets,usually Smarties in *Ahem* somewhere where smarties shouldn't go. In goes 4 or so smarties, boy then removes said smarties with his tongue and digests them.

But there are 5 smarties! Shock horror, the extra one was supposed to be a sack of crab eggs....so rotten. And of course, that's been told about every couple in that school...

Ara Jesus.

él statutorio

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

That one about Bill Murray eating the girls chips then saying 'no one will ever believe you'

I really want this one to be true!

Magico Gonzalez

Facebook will be charging soon or the copy and paste post on facebook about I don't authorise you to use my image or some such nonsense.

Always prefaced by "It sounds unlikely, but just in case...."

osarusan

This one was mentioned on boards not so long ago as a true story:

Person buys biscuits/cake in cafe and sits down to eat them.

Another person sitting close to them suddenly starts eating their food without any explanation.

The first person gets angry and defiantly eats the food quickly - the other person looks confused and leaves.

After they leave the first person realises that their own cake/biscuits are still on table and that they had actually been eating the other person's food.

osarusan

Radio show where person must reveal details of the sex they had with a partner (who has already spoken about it) - if the specific details match they win a prize.

When pushed for specifics, the first partner to speak specified that the sex was in the kitchen/shower/on washing machine, etc, but when the radio host say the second partner must be more specific to ensure their stories match and they are in fact telling the truth, the second partner (usually a woman) admits that it was actually anal sex.

thelad95

There's another one about the student in (insert third level institution) who contracted scurvy because he only ate dried noodles so he could spend all his money on beer.

Whitewinged

Not sure if this is an Urban Myth or not but nearly everyone i know claims to have an aunt or mother or sister that dated Phil Lynott

Qualitymark

Wizard! wrote: »

The one with the introduction of potatoes to certain communities. Where nobody wanted the potatoes, until they secured them in a guarded silo. Then all of them where stolen during the night.

Actually true; Parmentier did this in France: he set armed troops around the experimental potato field, with instructions to take any bribes offered, and took the guards away at night. His grave in Père Lachaise used to be surrounded by potato plants, in memory of this, but the sourpusses that run the graveyard have now replaced them with bedding plants.

fleet_admiral wrote: »

I would be very surprised to hear that story (about xx leaving buggy on bus since "the dole will give me another") about a pole since they are all hard workers and sound

You think the others mentioned aren't? Point of the story is to sneer, not to be truthful

Fuzzy Clam

That RTE turned down Father Ted so they went to Ch4.

Stranger Danger

The one about Gerry Adams never being in the IRA.

ronjo

osarusan wrote: »

This one was mentioned on boards not so long ago as a true story:

Person buys biscuits/cake in cafe and sits down to eat them.

Another person sitting close to them suddenly starts eating their food without any explanation.

The first person gets angry and defiantly eats the food quickly - the other person looks confused and leaves.

After they leave the first person realises that their own cake/biscuits are still on table and that they had actually been eating the other person's food.

Thats similar to a Jeffrey Archer short story

MilesMorales1

Stranger Danger wrote: »

The one about Gerry Adams never being in the IRA.

Took till the 3rd page, you're getting slow boards.

Love2love

osarusan wrote: »

This one was mentioned on boards not so long ago as a true story:

Person buys biscuits/cake in cafe and sits down to eat them.

Another person sitting close to them suddenly starts eating their food without any explanation.

The first person gets angry and defiantly eats the food quickly - the other person looks confused and leaves.

After they leave the first person realises that their own cake/biscuits are still on table and that they had actually been eating the other person's food.

This kinda happened to me......

At a funeral of a family friend. He died young and the was a lot of people at the funeral. Back at the pub afterwards the man's wife said to me that they would be bringing platters of food out soon and to let her know when they came (she was outside smoking!) anyway, the table right beside mine got a platter and I picked up some of the food and began eating while I went outside to find her. 3 or 4 of my friends began tucking in to the sausages and chicken nuggets.
Then she tells me that she only ordered sambos and the the platter we were munching on belonged to complete strangers! I still cringe thinking about it!

Mr. CooL ICE

Babysitter puts child to bed. Child is scared of life sized clown teddy in corner. Mother rings babysitter to check up. Babysitter says child is scared of clown teddy. Mother says that none exist and to get out of the house.

AudreyHepburn

The one about the pet Snake sizing it's owner up for dinner

The one about the intruder in the house who kills the dog and leaves a message saying 'Humans can lick too'

The on where a serial killer disguises himself as a life size clown ( I think) doll and is found out when the babysitter calls the Father of the house to ask if she can move the doll as it is scaring her. Dad's says they have no such doll and to get out of the house quick.

somesoldiers

fleet_admiral wrote: »

The one about the asylum seeker leaving the buggy on the bus and saying 'ill get another one off the social'

Is this Adrian or Jeremy?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Oh another one, someone heads out for the night, but halfway down the road they realise they forgot something. They go back to get it but because it's right inside the door or something they don't bother turning on the light, just grab it and go. Get back after the night out to a burgled flat and a note on the table saying 'you're fcuking lucky you didn't turn on the light'.

fleet_admiral wrote: »

I would be very surprised to hear that story about a pole since they are all hard workers and sound

I had someone very earnestly tell me that story about a Polish woman around 2007. I think whoever the buggy lady is depends more on the prejudices of the story teller than anything else, to be fair.

Michael D Not Higgins

The one about taking LSD and locking a goblin under the stairs. Turns out they abducted a kid with Down's.

Pat Mustard

osarusan wrote: »

Person buys biscuits/cake in cafe and sits down to eat them.

Another person sitting close to them suddenly starts eating their food without any explanation.

The first person gets angry and defiantly eats the food quickly - the other person looks confused and leaves.

After they leave the first person realises that their own cake/biscuits are still on table and that they had actually been eating the other person's food.

Swap food for pints and it could easily happen to a fella...

Taxuser1

osarusan wrote: »

This one was mentioned on boards not so long ago as a true story:

Person buys biscuits/cake in cafe and sits down to eat them.

Another person sitting close to them suddenly starts eating their food without any explanation.

The first person gets angry and defiantly eats the food quickly - the other person looks confused and leaves.

After they leave the first person realises that their own cake/biscuits are still on table and that they had actually been eating the other person's food.

i've read this 10 times and am still lost

what are you trying to say

dr.kenneth noisewater

Michael D Not Higgins wrote: »

The one about taking LSD and locking a goblin under the stairs. Turns out they abducted a kid with Down's.

The one I was heard was (insert random 3rd level college) student locks up a leprechaun in bathroom for his gold that turns out to be an angry dwarf