embarrassed

tupenny · 15-10-2015 3:05pm #1

Today in work I was speaking to my direct manager when the manager of HR came in to speak with my manager. So I said I will come back later to continue conversation about work on hand. As I turned to walk out HR manager (who would not even know my name, never mind have any sort of friendly relationship) put up his leg to block me and/or trip me. When I stumbled they both laughed. I know this sounds really petty but I feel very upset over it and don't believe he would have did this to anyone else (I am lowest grade in office, he's basically the main man). Can't help how I feel but is it justified to be upset?
Any views would be helpful.
Thanks

AhhMang · 15-10-2015 3:11pm

Once off, take it on the chin document that it happened and if it happens again make a point of it.

seamus · 15-10-2015 3:33pm

First things first, are you sure you're not reading too much into this and being overly sensitive? It sounds far more likely that his being in your way was accidental, and then when you stumbled, naturally other people would have a little chuckle.

DellyBelly · 15-10-2015 3:34pm

Are you in a union. If so maybe have a chat to them about it...

tupenny · 15-10-2015 3:44pm

seamus wrote: »

First things first, are you sure you're not reading too much into this and being overly sensitive? It sounds far more likely that his being in your way was accidental, and then when you stumbled, naturally other people would have a little chuckle.

Thanks for reply. No It was done purposely , he flicked his foot out behind him and when I tripped he said "eh maybe I want to speak to you". As if that would justify it. I asked did he want to speak with me and he looked at me blankly and just said "no". I then left.
I will admit I am a sensitive person though!

15-10-2015 3:59pm

tupenny wrote: »

Thanks for reply. No It was done purposely , he flicked his foot out behind him and when I tripped he said "eh maybe I want to speak to you". As if that would justify it. I asked did he want to speak with me and he looked at me blankly and just said "no". I then left.
I will admit I am a sensitive person though!

"eh maybe I want to speak to you" sounds like what he meant was "you don't have to go" and tried to say it in a jokingly (sp?) manner.

The simple "no" sounds to me like he realised that you were taking it seriously and he decided to let it drop.

After that "no" was there any laughing/chuckling from the HR manager?

Honestly sounds like the HR manager misjudged the situation and your personality, as you said this is the first time he has met you.

I would guess that he will be more formal and polite with you from now on. If he gets to know you though he may try to start some banter with you, hopefully if he is a good judge of character (he is a HR manager) it will be in small ways to gauge your reaction to make sure you are comfortable.

Honestly though it is hard to judge tone/intention via text.

AhhMang · 15-10-2015 4:04pm

D wrote: »

"eh maybe I want to speak to you" sounds like what he meant was "you don't have to go" and tried to say it in a jokingly (sp?) manner.

The simple "no" sounds to me like he realised that you were taking it seriously and he decided to let it drop.

After that "no" was there any laughing/chuckling from the HR manager?

Honestly sounds like the HR manager misjudged the situation and your personality, as you said this is the first time he has met you.

I would guess that he will be more formal and polite with you from now on. If he gets to know you though he may try to start some banter with you, hopefully if he is a good judge of character (he is a HR manager) it will be in small ways to gauge your reaction to make sure you are comfortable.

Honestly though it is hard to judge tone/intention via text.

^this sounds spot on to what has happened

tupenny · 15-10-2015 4:15pm

Thanks all. Really appreciate all replies, helps me see it from different perspective. I still think it was an inappropriate thing for him to do, but will try not take it personally.
Thanks again

poeticmakaveli · 15-10-2015 4:19pm

It is funny how people here defend this man's actions, but yet if it was the other way around,what kind of consequences would there be! I would just love to see the reaction if you tripped this man first and laughed about it!
He would trip me but it would only be the once he would do it,that you can be guaranteed!

tupenny · 15-10-2015 4:25pm

poeticmakaveli wrote: »

It is funny how people here defend this man's actions, but yet if it was the other way around,what kind of consequences would there be! I would just love to see the reaction if you tripped this man first and laughed about it!
He would trip me but it would only be the once he would do it,that you can be guaranteed!

That was my initial reaction. That and that he wouldn't have did it to someone in a higher position than mine.
But maybe I am being overly sensitive. I really don't know!

Ghekko · 15-10-2015 4:25pm

What a strange thing to do. The story just reminds me of a boss I had - he wasn't the best in social situations, and as a manager we were afraid of him. It sounds like something he would have done back in the day as a joke, which then went wrong. I'd let it go but if anything like it happened again you would probably need to call him on it.

nikkibikki · 15-10-2015 4:31pm

tupenny wrote:

Thanks all. Really appreciate all replies, helps me see it from different perspective. I still think it was an inappropriate thing for him to do, but will try not take it personally. Thanks again

It was inappropriate OP but as a stand alone incident it may not be worth the stress/hassle to report it as I'd imagine you'd have to report it to his superior who would be a very senior person. He shouldn't have barged in on a meeting between you and your manager either. Record it for sure in case anything happens in future, which I doubt it will.

poeticmakaveli · 15-10-2015 4:33pm

tupenny wrote:

That was my initial reaction. That and that he wouldn't have did it to someone in a higher position than mine. But maybe I am being overly sensitive. I really don't know!

No I don't think so, I don't think that is funny at all and I have a good sense of humour and you will not get any more laid back than me in life, but that action sounds of a little spoiled brat or little bully, any clever or grown up adult wouldn't find that as humorous. There is plenty of other ways to break the ice if you don't know some one but this is off a spoiled brat!
I have seen plenty of people like that in life, trying to funny by being childish and then when you check them on it they almost make out that you are over reacting!
But I do find it always comes from a brat!

nyarlothothep · 15-10-2015 5:20pm

Has the HR manager the mentality of a 12 year old? If that's what counts for humour according to some posters, its baffling because it couldn't be any more pathetic. This sort of behaviour is beyond moronic, I wouldn't tolerate it the next time OP.

Stone Deaf 4evr · 15-10-2015 5:37pm

poeticmakaveli wrote: »

No I don't think so, I don't think that is funny at all and I have a good sense of humour and you will not get any more laid back than me in life, but that action sounds of a little spoiled brat or little bully, any clever or grown up adult wouldn't find that as humorous. There is plenty of other ways to break the ice if you don't know some one but this is off a spoiled brat!
I have seen plenty of people like that in life, trying to funny by being childish and then when you check them on it they almost make out that you are over reacting!
But I do find it always comes from a brat!

Thats all well and good, but there isn't anything productive to be gained by hyping the Op up to believe that the HR person is some sort of future tormentor. One incident does not make a pattern.

My advice to the OP: note it in a diary / phone or whatever, and in the unlikely event anything else is to happen, you'll have a record. 99% chance that its a misunderstanding and no more will come of it. Whereas if you make a big deal about it now, you'll run the risk of being labelled 'difficult'.

as I said already, I'd only be worried if it was an ongoing thing, the real world is full of all sorts of personalities and with time you'll learn how to deal with most of them.

Saint Sonner · 15-10-2015 5:44pm

Two things I think may have a bearing on this:

Are you female?
Are you hot?

Miaireland · 15-10-2015 5:47pm

I had a boss like yours once and he used to be a bit like that. He didn't mean any harm (to be honest I think he thought it made him more human/fun loving to junior staff). When I started there someone warned me about it so I didn't take any offence to it but I would have probably been a bit upset if it had happened and I hadn't been warned

If I were you I would make a note in your diary stating what happened, where, who and who witnessed the incident just for your own records in case it becomes an ongoing incident but I doubt that it will.

tupenny · 15-10-2015 6:27pm

Saint Sonner wrote: »

Two things I think may have a bearing on this:

Are you female?
Are you hot?

Yes female, mid twenties, not meaning to sound big headed- not bad looking I would say.. Why would these things be relevant?

I guess I will go with the majority and keep a note of it. Thanks all

Nib · 15-10-2015 6:30pm

You were assaulted.

I wouldn't let that go, as some posters are suggesting.

uck51js9zml2yt · 15-10-2015 6:39pm

I'd be having a chat in the morning with my manager if this were to happen.

A simple enquiry as to what was going on with the HR manager tripping you up would be enough to get it dealt with and ensure it wouldn't happen again

Second Toughest in_the Freshers · 15-10-2015 6:45pm

get on to your HR manager about it...

tupenny · 15-10-2015 6:48pm

Second Toughest in_the Freshers wrote: »

get on to your HR manager about it...

He is the HR manager. Says a lot about the place really doesn't it!!

Baron Kurtz · 15-10-2015 6:49pm

What a complete shagsac for tripping you. He probably thinks he's Chris Finch to your manager's David Brent. He probably also thinks he's beyond reproach. Reprehensible behaviour in my opinion and you should have berated him for it or at least mention how childish it was.

listermint · 15-10-2015 6:54pm

You have received some good advice here.all of it surrounding making a note of it and moving on.

It's a non incident itself if it arises again or duplicates only then would I question it.

Guy sounds like maybe a twat or misread the situation could be both could be the latter.

Move on

Mr.Carter · 15-10-2015 6:54pm

Report it....what kind of world do some of you live in? Trying to justify this, it was completely and utterly ****ty and dangerous thing to do, tripping someone on purpose.

Canadel · 15-10-2015 7:07pm

poeticmakaveli wrote: »

It is funny how people here defend this man's actions, but yet if it was the other way around,what kind of consequences would there be! I would just love to see the reaction if you tripped this man first and laughed about it!
He would trip me but it would only be the once he would do it,that you can be guaranteed!

Bingo, can just imagine if the op started a thread saying they tripped their hr manager and as a joke, made a very ambiguous immediately after, and felt they were fired unfairly! Not only would there not be one post saying they were unfairly fired, but the majority here would be telling the op to grow up, cop on and that they're not suited to such an environment etc.

Amazing how different the attitude is and how people's outlook changes when the person doing something wrong is in a position of power.

I'd confront the hr manager calmly and confidentially and explain to him that you felt his behaviour in the office was inappropriate and that you would prefer it not to happen again. Depending on his response, you will quickly know what kind of person you are dealing with - at the moment he sounds like an utter prick and wholly unprofessional.

Eire Go Brach · 15-10-2015 7:20pm

tupenny wrote: »

Yes female, mid twenties, not meaning to sound big headed- not bad looking I would say.. Why would these things be relevant?

I guess I will go with the majority and keep a note of it. Thanks all

I think it could have been a very bad attempt at flirting with you. Regardless of this. It was a stupid thing to do. You could have hurt yourself. You have every right to express yourself about this.

Mr.Carter · 15-10-2015 7:49pm

Op....you need to nip this fast and hard, it's absolutely NOT ok to do this to anyone EVER.

Second Toughest in_the Freshers · 15-10-2015 8:06pm

some people like a quiet life, some like to create needless drama

scamalert · 15-10-2015 8:18pm

Such behavior wouldn't be to uncommon in many places,specially if you get on with management on some sort level,so remarks stupid jokes etc,would be a way to break some daily tension/routine-and i mean both parties doing it.

so in a slight chance maybe HR guy thought maybe you get on well with your manager and just wanted to act childish.

But alot of this would come down in what sort of firm/business you work how people usually behave-as in passing stupid remarks or pranks to break their cycle of constant work.Or is it down to business place.

Since if its straight business and no fooling,then there's a chance you got picked on,otherwise stupid move on you,by mistaking that all of you would have a laugh.

Baggy Trousers · 15-10-2015 8:55pm

I would immediately confront the HR guy 1:1. Ask him what he meant by it and whether he thought it was professional. If he says he was only messing, ask him does he do it to other female employees. Tell him you were upset by it but tell him you're not making any 'formal complaint', you just want to clear the air. I'll tell you one thing - he will respect you for that (he'll have to) and you are much less likely to be made redundant if redundancies are ever required. HR managers usually have the least "political respect" of all managers - they might bark but they have little bite. If he messes you about, go to your manager next. I am betting here that while your manager laughed, the HR guy laughed the loudest/most. Trust me, HR managers do not want employees complaining about them!

Honestly this kind of shít shouldn't happen in 2015 Ireland.

embarrassed

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