Impending eviction; questioning whether to help or not

Wompa1

keithclancy wrote: »

Hi OP,

Seen you mention this stuff elsewhere.

Just on the slant of living in another country without that network of family there, I would say you should just tell them it's not possible to help them financially, don't dig any deeper or try to analyse the story further.

You will never see that money again, if your mother in Ireland wants to send money to them and it's that important let her take a loan from the credit union, they will also let her pay back the money slowly over time and there will be no emotional ties muddying the arrangement.

If your mother cannot get the loan then there's a good reason why she can't get the loan.

In the end if you follow the path of paying out this money I think it will either end with:

A. You send the money, you don't want to upset the relationship between your mother and yourself so you don't ask for it back, your wife will resent you for this.

or

B. You pester your mother for the money, you get some of it back but not all of it and are seen as a bad guy because your relatives situation will of course become worse and you'll only be expected to send more.

Also you have to think about your own potential rainy days in the future, kids are expensive

Nip it in the bud now, just say no. If they ask why tell them it's because you love them and you don't want money to come between them in the future and you have your own family to think about.

Thanks for the advice. I ended up sending the money to the assisted living home. It should arrive tomorrow.

My mother would not be able to put anything into a credit union account in order to get the loan. From what I remember, you can borrow up to 3 times what you've got in there. My parents are flat broke. They say they don't have enough money for home heating oil again this year. My sister paid for it last year.

My father hasn't worked since early 2000. My mother works a lowly paid full time job. They didn't have any money to give..I don't doubt that. They live pretty frugally now and don't have the best quality of life for themselves. But that's a whole other thread!

My relatives in the US include the Skitzophrenic aunt who has apparently gone from so skinny she wouldn't shower because she would freeze afterwards to ballooning in weight. Sadly, it's probably a race to the finish between her and my grandfather. She's not capable of taking care of herself. The whole reason this has happened so suddenly is because they put my grandfather and that mentally disturbed aunt living together...neither are capable of looking after themselves. It was a recipe for disaster.

I have a cousin who is divorced, makes damn all and pays support to his ex. He's broke. I have an aunt working in a convenience store in upstate New York. Her husband is a reserve firefighter and works part time in a Department store...they don't have any money, they live week to week and rely on his parents for support for themselves.

The most tragic part is the most competent in that side of the family is my aunt that's mentally handicapped. She doesn't work, though but herself and her husband can take care of themselves which is more than I can say for the rest of the sisters!

I'm not in the dog house as much any more. My fiancé says she's just upset with the situation and not with me. She's still angry with my mother for lying so it will still be tense when she gets over here...

It turns out my fiancé says she has more reason to be stressed. She wants to quit her job. She's working a low paid job for the state...the insurance is great and will pay for everything through the pregnancy. But she's not sure if she can stick it. 5 people quit and she's been physically threatened twice in the last couple of months. Both times with the threat of being shot...I had told her before any of this happened that if she felt threatened to walk off the job and quit...she wants to hang in there for the insurance.

We live in a sh1t country...

keithclancy

Wompa1 wrote: »

We live in a sh1t country...

Indeed.... Just going forward remember, you need to put your family first (the three of you)

Be well.

Wompa1

keithclancy wrote: »

Indeed.... Just going forward remember, you need to put your family first (the three of you)

Be well.

Thanks! I plan to...this money may be for my own conscience more than anything else.