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Attending a Church wedding

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    #32
    ZeroThreat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,182 ✭✭✭ZeroThreat


    I recall back in the 1980's when Ben Briscoe was Lord Mayor of Dublin he attended St. Agnes Church in Crumlin and remained sitting throughout the whole mass.


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    #33
    recedite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,993 ✭✭✭✭recedite


    kylith wrote: »
    I also like to mentally convert the church into a house to pass the time. I can never decide whether to put a second floor in or to leave it open to the roof so as not to impede the windows. Granted you get fewer bedrooms doing it that way, but it's so much more dramatic. Definitely the master bedroom in the choir balcony and a library in the bell tower.
    Have you considered adding a mezzanine around the two sides?

    Some churches have a mezzanine type structure at the back, always the most fun place to sit, and you can do what you like there cos people down below can't really see you. You'll have to scout around in the lobby area and look for the secret door leading to a staircase. Don't make the mistake of rushing into the main cavern, just because it looks like its about to start any second now. The show always takes ages to start.
    One time I was happily ensconced up in the mezz balcony, but after about half an hour somebody was sent up and asked us to move down to the ground floor area, because apparently nobody had been up there for years. Not since it was declared an unsafe structure due to the woodworm. No warning signs on entering the staircase though.
    On the rare times I go to a church, I like to get a good seat. If the mezzanine balcony is closed, there are always loads of empty seats near the front, for some reason. Probably reserved for atheists.
    As a last resort, sit with the relatives :pac:


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    #34
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    Op why not be a real hard man and throw out a few tut's / giggles / rolley eyes?


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    #35
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,401 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Mod:
    Kidchameleon wrote: »
    Op why not be a real hard man and throw out a few tut's / giggles / rolley eyes?
    Kid - Not sure what has you in such a bad mood this Friday lunchtime, but if you've nothing useful to add to this conversation, then feel free to take your silly comments elsewhere.


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    #36
    Zillah
    Registered Users Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Stand when everyone else is standing, sit when they're kneeling
    Do the hand shaking bit because sure it's a nice gesture and sentiment
    Don't go to communion of course

    I stand when they sit, and kneel when they stand, and sit when they kneel, and I shake hands when they're all trying to listen to yer man on the stage.


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    #37
    JohnBee
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭JohnBee


    Just make sure to avoid the holy water, it really burns.....


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    #38
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,221 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Someone here once memorably described the stand up, sit down, kneel, repeat, thing as 'catholic pilates' ;)

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #39
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    OP you'd better take all the advice here and sit at the back giggling like an 9 year old school girl or else :
    1. The focus in the church would be on the B&G and not on you
    and
    2. Other guests won't realise that your a cool edgy atheist. And they really really need to know that
    Whatever you do don't simply sit in the church like a mature adult showing respect for your hosts and not drawing attention to yourself.


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    #40
    Lord Riverside
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭Lord Riverside


    I suppose as non religion is a fairly new thing to the Irish, some people seem confused as to what to do when invited to a friend's ceremony.
    I have been fortunate enough to be an invited guest to many eclectic functions and ceremonies over the years, from Hindu weddings to Sikh funerals.
    As I do at any function I'm invited to, I sit when people sit, I stand when people stand, I don't join in with the prayers, but I'll join in with any non religious aspects / sentiments. Kneeling or praying is not required by any non Catholics, unless of course you simply wish to make room for the person kneeling behind you.


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    #41
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    Lord Riverside wrote: »
    I suppose as non religion is a fairly new thing to the Irish, some people seem confused as to what to do when invited to a friend's ceremony.
    I have been fortunate enough to be an invited guest to many eclectic functions and ceremonies over the years, from Hindu weddings to Sikh funerals.
    As I do at any function I'm invited to, I sit when people sit, I stand when people stand, I don't join in with the prayers, but I'll join in with any non religious aspects / sentiments. Kneeling or praying is not required by any non Catholics, unless of course you simply wish to make room for the person kneeling behind you.

    It's so easy to be respectful, polite and mannerly, in other words to be a nice guest.
    Unfortunately as you can see from this thread, the urge to behave like an utter d**khead overwhelms those less well reared then yourself.


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    #42
    OU812
    Registered Users Posts: 6,038 ✭✭✭OU812


    To quote a movie I once saw [It may have been Superman II]:

    "I kneel before neither man nor God".

    I think it would be disrespectful of me to their religion to partake in it while I very obviously don't believe in it.

    The more difficult part is not shaking hands.

    I'd attend out of respect for the person involved rather than the event.


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    #43
    pconn062
    Registered Users Posts: 5,370 ✭✭✭pconn062


    Sit, never kneel. Stand if necessary. Shake hands and smile politely. Grimace at the crappy music. Try not to fall asleep when the priest is yakking on. Smile a little when the couple (who haven't been to mass since they were 15) make all sorts of promises about being a good Catholic and bringing their future kids to mass.

    God, I hate weddings.


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    #44
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    I have no fear of kneeling. If theres no god then whats the problem?


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    #45
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,401 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Kidchameleon wrote: »
    I have no fear of kneeling. If theres no god then whats the problem?
    Some people probably find it quite painful. And I'd say quite a few atheists and agnostics don't like signalling deference and respect towards an organization and a set of ideas which they feel deserves a mixture of pity, fear, ridicule and disgust.


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    #46
    Cabaal
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 28,470 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cabaal


    Kidchameleon wrote: »
    I have no fear of kneeling. If theres no god then whats the problem?

    Cause it's showing an acknowledgement and respect to the very belief of a god, I wouldn't show respect for the belief of thor or oden so I wouldn't do it for a Christian God either.

    I wouldn't kneel before an alter before sitting or even use a bishops title either, ill use their proper name.

    Respect is earned, not just blindly given.


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    #47
    WheatenBriar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,170 ✭✭✭WheatenBriar


    Shrap wrote: »

    As for the bolded part, let me get this straight. Are you genuinely saying that it would be more respectful for an atheist to attend and pretend to be a believer than it would be to respect other's beliefs by not pretending to hold them?

    Shur most of the other people are also pretending :p

    Seriously though,its in my opinion daft to be fervent about non beliefs in something
    What matters is the fact that you don't believe and obviously people at the wedding who know the OP know this
    For an atheist There is no God after all,so standing,kneeling or even reciting the poem's or prayers is just part of the couples ceremony, nothing else
    Making an issue out of it is to be angry about somebody elses beliefs
    Thats fair enough, but theres a time and a place for that and I would suggest the happy couples big day isn't it


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    #48
    Jonotti
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭Jonotti


    I'm a staunch atheist and also a campaigner against the particular evils of the catholic church. My friends know my opinions well at this stage and its usually not a problem.
    I tell them that I will celebrate their marriage but I will turn my back on anything said by the priest that is generic bible stuff and not directly related to the bride and groom.

    Most said fine, whatever maybe don't sit near the front. One told me not to come if that was the case but I don't really care much for her. I think we all need to take whatever stand we can and not be hypocrites in our day to day life.


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    #49
    Zillah
    Registered Users Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    I'm sorry, do you mean you'll literally turn around during the ceremony?

    Just don't go, you drama queen.


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    #50
    Jonotti
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭Jonotti


    Zillah wrote: »
    I'm sorry, do you mean you'll literally turn around during the ceremony?

    Just don't go, you drama queen.

    Yes, somebody has to take a stand. If all atheists did this then the godless couples of Ireland wouldn't be so quick to have their ceremonies in a church.


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    #51
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    robindch wrote: »
    Some people probably find it quite painful.

    Anyone with knee problems might. I've a damaged knee and my surgeon warned me I'd always have trouble kneeling

    Was at a funeral recenttly and stopped kneeling as it was too painful


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    #52
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Jonotti wrote: »
    Yes, somebody has to take a stand. If all atheists did this then the godless couples of Ireland wouldn't be so quick to have their ceremonies in a church.

    Seriously just don't go, it's not about you


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    #53
    Vojera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭Vojera


    Jonotti wrote: »
    Yes, somebody has to take a stand. If all atheists did this then the godless couples of Ireland wouldn't be so quick to have their ceremonies in a church.
    All you're doing there is telling your friends that you don't respect them. Someone's wedding or funeral or other religious day is not the time for you to protest.
    OU812 wrote: »
    The more difficult part is not shaking hands.
    I actually have no issue with shaking hands. After all, "Peace be with you" is a sentiment I feel we should all share with each other.


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    #54
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Zillah wrote: »
    I'm sorry, do you mean you'll literally turn around during the ceremony?

    Of course not. The internet is full of complete BS like this.

    Zillah wrote: »
    Just don't go, you drama queen.

    It's a feckin' wedding. The whole point of going is that you've been invited by people who are having a big event to celebrate THEIR day in THEIR way. Anyone who is too childish or plain ****-witted to go along with that simply shouldn't be going. Nobody has to kneel, or stand, or pray (me, I do the middle one of those only, but that's my choice). When my wife and I got married, we had an entirely non-religious ceremony; I'd say that apart from us there were a maximum of half a dozen atheists at the wedding. So everyone else just had to do things our way - and rightly so, because it was our day.

    Nobody, but nobody, would disrupt a wedding, naming or funeral ceremony by behaving in the crass, immature, moronic and downright sectarian way described by that poster.

    Take a stand? Yeah, right. :rolleyes:


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    #55
    Jonotti
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭Jonotti


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Of course not. The internet is full of complete BS like this.




    It's a feckin' wedding. The whole point of going is that you've been invited by people who are having a big event to celebrate THEIR day in THEIR way. Anyone who is too childish or plain ****-witted to go along with that simply shouldn't be going. Nobody has to kneel, or stand, or pray (me, I do the middle one of those only, but that's my choice). When my wife and I got married, we had an entirely non-religious ceremony; I'd say that apart from us there were a maximum of half a dozen atheists at the wedding. So everyone else just had to do things our way - and rightly so, because it was our day.

    Nobody, but nobody, would disrupt a wedding, naming or funeral ceremony by behaving in the crass, immature, moronic and downright sectarian way described by that poster.

    Take a stand? Yeah, right. :rolleyes:

    Hold on a second sonny. You refuse to follow the ceremony and kneel or pray. It's their day and you should just do everything to make them happy going by your logic.


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    #56
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Vojera wrote: »
    I actually have no issue with shaking hands. After all, "Peace be with you" is a sentiment I feel we should all share with each other.

    Nor have I. In fact it's the one part of a Catholic church service in which I always take part, because it's a really nice thing to do.....


    ....although of course I mightn't think that if I was the kind of sectarian person who thinks that people who believe something different don't deserve respect or peace.


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    #57
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Jonotti wrote: »
    Hold on a second sonny. You refuse to follow the ceremony and kneel or pray. It's their day and you should just do everything to make them happy going by your logic.

    There's a slight difference remaining seated as opposed to turning your back as you suggested

    There's all sorts of reasons people don't kneel what you are propposing is rude to say the least


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    #58
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Lord Riverside wrote: »
    You mean all your invited non atheists friends didn't protest and turn their backs and hiss and spit ? The hypocrites.

    Actually, one kinda did. Obviously she wasn't such a numbnuts as to do that during the event - only a complete wally would do that - but one of our guests, who as it happened was an elderly nun, sent us a thank you letter a couple of weeks after our wedding. In the middle of a really sincere letter of thanks, she said it was a pity we hadn't gotten married in a church.

    We laughed. What else could we do? :D


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Jonotti wrote: »
    Hold on a second sonny. You refuse to follow the ceremony and kneel or pray. It's their day and you should just do everything to make them happy going by your logic.

    Thanks for confirming that you were spoofing and have never actually carried on in the stupid, crass, immature and sectarian way you described.

    :p


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    #60
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    Stheno wrote: »
    Seriously just don't go, it's not about you

    No seriously, everything is all about him. The centre of the universe.


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    #61
    Lord Riverside
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭Lord Riverside


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Actually, one kinda did. Obviously she wasn't such a numbnuts as to do that during the event - only a complete wally would do that - but one of our guests, who as it happened was an elderly nun, sent us a thank you letter a couple of weeks after our wedding. In the middle of a really sincere letter of thanks, she said it was a pity we hadn't gotten married in a church.

    We laughed. What else could we do? :D

    Yep she sounds exactly the same as 'Jonotti'. Two halfs of the same coin.


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