schooling costs for my Husbands child

mockingjay

I agree it's an expensive time for all. However, if you have reservations about whether she spends her money on the child's school supplies, it may be a suggestion to ask her for an exact list of what the child requires, and you and your husband could try to source the materials for her within your budget. That way you will be sure that the child gets what they need for school and an indication of the expenditure. If she states she has already purchased the materials, your husband could ask her for receipts.

alcea

Does the school have a website? Maybe the information you are looking for could be found there. The school my children go to has a section where you can download the booklists and costs for the year.

skintiam

Evd-Burner how I wish my son's father was as rational and understanding as you are. Ive always been made to feel like I'm scrounging when I ask him to contribute, he pays €60 per week maintenance and if extra expenses like school books/trips or dentist come up I've asked him to pay half - I have to ask because he would never offer, and he either begrudgingly gives it or says he can't afford it even though he's working and I'm not. My son's in 6th year and this year I've decided I'm done asking him to contribute, I'll manage myself - it's hard enough asking for money without being made to feel low about it.

To the OP what the child's mother does at weekends/spends her money on isn't any of your concern, whether she's on the breadline or earning thousands your partner should still contribute 50% towards the cost of the childs upbringing. I agree with what someone else said about getting a break down of what the money is needed for but do it respectfully. In 1st year my sons father was questioning why I was asking for a certain amount so I gave him the booklist and marked half the books for him to buy instead of taking the money from him.

Wanderer78

these posts about the cost of education is making me very angry. free education me a*se. best of luck to parents trying to deal with this one

Evd-Burner

skintiam wrote: »

Evd-Burner how I wish my son's father was as rational and understanding as you are. Ive always been made to feel like I'm scrounging when I ask him to contribute, he pays €60 per week maintenance and if extra expenses like school books/trips or dentist come up I've asked him to pay half - I have to ask because he would never offer, and he either begrudgingly gives it or says he can't afford it even though he's working and I'm not. My son's in 6th year and this year I've decided I'm done asking him to contribute, I'll manage myself - it's hard enough asking for money without being made to feel low about it.

Don't worry skintiam, we have plenty of our own problems. Unfortunately we are in court within the next month, although I think we will have made our agreement before the date and the solicitors will hand the agreement to the judge to sign into an order. Although we have been getting on a lot better the last few weeks. I have no problem handing over money if I see it's being used for what its intended for and provided I have the money to hand over in the first place.

Blonde27

thanks for all the comments. I think it really irritates me when she comes with all the demands-its ME that ends up paying them! My husband cannot afford to give her more. But also we know for a fact that she gets the back to school grant and never pays the book rental at school so apart from buying the uniform (Dunnes ) and school jumper, she doesnt pay anything else!

Kevhog1988

Also split from my sons mother. My child is four and started preschool this morning. He got the following from me last week.

5 jeans/trousers
5 vests
5 t shirts
Polo shirts
Long sleeve rugby type shirt
5 underwear
3 packs of socks
New jacket
Few hoodies, jumpers etc
One set of very smart jeans jumper and shirt for mass etc.

My parents bought him shoes and my sister bought him runners.

He's kitted out for the year ahead now I hope. Will get him new gloves and hat at some stage too.

I bought all this after noticing his clothes had started to become tatty etc and she didn't seem to be replacing them. She has a new bf but I don't see that as any issue. Instead of making waves I just did an extra few shifts in work and kitted him out.

Op that lot Cost me probably 200 euro. I'd imagine you should do the same and buy the stuff for the child directly

Blonde27

thats what we do too, as well as school shoes, stationary, school bag, we also buy her new runners and clothes throughout the year.

zeffabelli

Blonde27 wrote: »

thanks for all the comments. I think it really irritates me when she comes with all the demands-its ME that ends up paying them! My husband cannot afford to give her more. But also we know for a fact that she gets the back to school grant and never pays the book rental at school so apart from buying the uniform (Dunnes ) and school jumper, she doesnt pay anything else!

How many kids? Depending on the school back to school grant not much.

The real issue here is why is your husband mooching off you to provide for his children?

Blonde27

zeffabelli wrote: »

How many kids? Depending on the school back to school grant not much.

The real issue here is why is your husband mooching off you to provide for his children?

am not going to even respond to that ignorant comment. I know what bills my husband has with his wages and what maintenance he has to pay

zeffabelli

Blonde27 wrote: »

am not going to even respond to that ignorant comment. I know what bills my husband has with his wages and what maintenance he has to pay

It's not ignorant. You're clearly resentful and they aren't your children.

Let him pay for them.

Seriously your giving out about her not paying when he clearly isn't either.

skintiam

"Don't worry skintiam, we have plenty of our own problems. Unfortunately we are in court within the next month, although I think we will have made our agreement before the date and the solicitors will hand the agreement to the judge to sign into an order. Although we have been getting on a lot better the last few weeks. I have no problem handing over money if I see it's being used for what its intended for and provided I have the money to hand over in the first place."

As stressful as going through solicitors probably is now it will save arguments down the line if everything is laid out and agreed, I never went that route but should have and had extra costs factored into a maintenance amount.

OP I understand not everyone is honest and straight up either so I can see some of your frustration, in your case I'd definately make an arrangement going forward of what both parents pay for, either buy the things directly or pay towards but not both.