What are the rules regarding sex tapes made with previous partners?

blue note

So I have this friend who made a sex tape with a previous partner. Not a significant relationship or anything, just a bit of fun for a couple of months. And he recorded some of that fun (not secretly!). And now he has a girlfriend who he's fairly serious about.

So it's he allowed to keep the footage? It's nothing spectacular and password protected on his tablet and everything.

And no, I'm not sticking up the videos!

Tombi!

Legally? No idea; try the Legal Discussion forum:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=633

Read through their charter; it's a very serious forum
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057083888

Morally: Best tell him to ask his girlfriend if he can keep it.

recylingbin

Rules are to make it as hot as possible. Include tit shots.

corner of hells

blue note wrote: »

So I have this friend who made a sex tape with a previous partner. Not a significant relationship or anything, just a bit of fun for a couple of months. And he recorded some of that fun (not secretly!). And now he has a girlfriend who he's fairly serious about.

So it's he allowed to keep the footage? It's nothing spectacular and password protected on his tablet and everything.

And no, I'm not sticking up the videos!

You have a friend? Its you after recording some 'ol one in your shower.

Talib Fiasco

If both gave consent to it then it's fine, but the fact they are no longer in a relationship means that the tape has no relevance to their lives now.

DeadHand

Best to erase the recording without ever letting the current girlfriend know of it's existence.

I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.

blue note

DeadHand wrote: »

Best to erase the recording without ever letting the current girlfriend know of it's existence.

I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.

Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!

blue note

blue note wrote: »

Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!

And there's no issue of consent either now or at the time. It's just a bit weird now having videos of him banging someone else. But it would be a shame to delete them.

DeadHand

blue note wrote: »

Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!

Haha.

If someone needs to watch themselves have sex to derive some self esteem I'd suggest they have much deeper problems than a few dirty videos on their tablet.

It's a remnant of the past, if he wishes to move forward with this new partner he needs to let it go.

The_Minister

Tombi! wrote: »

Legally? No idea; try the Legal Discussion forum:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=633

Read through their charter; it's a very serious forum
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057083888

Morally: Best tell him to ask his girlfriend if he can keep it.

Legally:
http://www.lawsociety.ie/Documents/Gazette/Gazette%202015/Gazette-april2015.pdf
(WARNING: Massive file)

Gongoozler

If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.

blue note

Gongoozler wrote: »

If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.

Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend. I'd say it goes without saying that any current partner would hate to hear about a sex tape in existence with a previous partner I'd be seriously disturbed if it heard my girlfriend had a video of her having sex with someone else!

Super-Rush

I'm a qualified barrister, so the best thing to do is send me a copy of the tape so I can advise you accordingly.

Kirby

Gongoozler wrote: »

If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else. .

Why not? Just like a footballer would look back fondly at clips of his best goals at the end of his career.

Gongoozler

blue note wrote: »

Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend.

Classy

eamonnq

She may become famous and he may be able to sell it to the Sun.

Kirby

Gongoozler wrote: »

Classy

Come off it. Everybody keeps secrets from their loved ones. It's healthy.

kylith

He should ask himself 1) how his gf would feel if she knew he had it and 2) how he'd feel if he found out that his gf was hanging onto a steamy video of her and a previous partner. How devastating would it be to find out, on top of all the usual ex baggage, that your partner was whacking it to a video of him and her.

Generic Dreadhead

Why the **** would anyone want to look at themselves riding? Vanity? Try beat their best time? Narcissism?

I've been called a Narcissist but looking at myself f**king..... no thanks....

Kev W

blue note wrote: »

Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend. I'd say it goes without saying that any current partner would hate to hear about a sex tape in existence with a previous partner I'd be seriously disturbed if it heard my girlfriend had a video of her having sex with someone else!

Why would you find that disturbing and why would the cause of that disturbance not apply to your friend?

The Bishop Basher

He's clearly keeping it for the odd sneaky ****.

The posters above can look puzzled, act confused, and exhibit all kinds of faux emotions but right or wrong, that's the reality.

Boom_Bap

Is it really a sex tape, or a Vine of a session (start to finish)

Tony Beetroot

Would you need a vhs to play the tape?

NachoBusiness

Gongoozler wrote: »

If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

What if they were smokin hot though?

Married I get, but deleting wild and crazy rendezvous mementos as a matter of course, seems a touch.. reckless.

Kev W

Having that kind of footage of an ex seems all kinds of creepy.

Generic Dreadhead

Kev W wrote: »

Having that kind of footage of an ex seems all kinds of creepy.

A Wild Token White Knight appears!

blue note

Kev W wrote: »

Why would you find that disturbing and why would the cause of that disturbance not apply to your friend?

I'd assume it would apply to everyone. If it didn't I'd wonder about that persons interest in the relationship. That's why the decent thing to do would be to keep it a secret.

Kev W

blue note wrote: »

I'd assume it would apply to everyone. If it didn't I'd wonder about that persons interest in the relationship. That's why the decent thing to do would be to keep it a secret.

I would say the decent thing would be delete it rather than lie about it.

Kev W

Cormac... wrote: »

A Wild Token White Knight appears!

I'm not sure how being creeped out by keeping a sex tape with one's ex makes me a White Knight.

blue note

Kev W wrote: »

I'm not sure how being creeped out by keeping a sex tape with one's ex makes me a White Knight.

Ex is a strong word. Just a girl he was banging. No emotional relationship.

Kev W

blue note wrote: »

Ex is a strong word. Just a girl he was banging. No emotional relationship.

Same creepiness applies.

Galway K9

Super-Rush wrote: »

I'm a qualified barrister, so the best thing to do is send me a copy of the tape so I can advise you accordingly.

Yes, I too am a qualified barrister. We can liaise with each other on its contents and give the OP the legal advice.

blue note

Galway K9 wrote: »

Yes, I too am a qualified barrister. We can liaise with each other on its contents and give the OP the legal advice.

There's much better stuff available than his scrawny pasty self. It's not worth requesting.

Ashbx

Kirby wrote: »

Come off it. Everybody keeps secrets from their loved ones. It's healthy.

Keeping secrets happens, of course! Is it healthy??? Certainly not!

PandaPoo

I still have some recordings of me and an ex. I watch them once a year I'd say, I look really hot in them so it's a nice reminder my husband has seen them, no issue there.

I think I'll delete them though, no reason to have them bar a little ego boost every now and then.

Ashbx

Its a bit of a non question, isnt it? If you had to clarify on boards what your morals should be, you know what the answer is.

If he (you) wants any sort of relationship with this future girl, then he (you) will most definitely need to get rid of the video!

walkingshadow

PandaPoo wrote: »

I still have some recordings of me and an ex. I watch them once a year I'd say, I look really hot in them so it's a nice reminder my husband has seen them, no issue there.

I think I'll delete them though, no reason to have them bar a little ego boost every now and then.

Please don't.

seamus

I'd say there are two chances of his current girlfriend approving of it.

Think of it this way - if she had a sex tape of herself and her ex and she wanted to keep it so she could watch it while she was feeding the pony, how would he feel about it. Probably not good.

As sad as it would probably make him I think he probably needs to stick it in some backup file where he can forget about it completely, or watch it, commit it to the spank bank and then delete it.

I think it'd be mannerly to delete it when the relationship ends, and to leave the gf in the dark about it's existence, forever.

DeadHand

DeadHand wrote: »

I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.

Really? You can't think of any reason?

I wouldn't erase a sex tape if I had one. I mean, when you're seventy and you can't even pull yourself into bed, it might be nice to have that stuff lying around for, eh, memories and suchlike...

Ashbx

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Really? You can't think of any reason?

I wouldn't erase a sex tape if I had one. I mean, when you're seventy and you can't even pull yourself into bed, it might be nice to have that stuff lying around for, eh, memories and suchlike...

Well if he is so happy in his new relationship, he wont want to look at it! I know I certainly don't want to see myself with any of my ex's.

They are ex's for a reason!

Ashbx

Ashbx wrote: »

Well if he is so happy in his new relationship, he wont want to look at it! I know I certainly don't want to see myself with any of my ex's.

They are ex's for a reason!

I can't help but feel that one has nothing to do with the other. It's like saying that if you fancy your bf/gf you won't ever look at anyone else. It sounds nice, but it has nothing to do with real human nature.

OneOfThem

Think it'd depend on the current partner. I had a few (most pictures/videos girls had sent me, rather than ones involving me) when I got with my ex, it came up in conversation and I told her. She didn't have a problem, was pretty enthusiastic actually. Genuinely just never thought to tell her before then. Never crossed my mind to delete them either. As to why I kept them? Well for me, porn involving girls I'd actually been with would always be far ahead of porn involving some random girl I never will be with. Would be the same in terms of imagination based things. Would always have tended to think of previous actual experiences or girls that would soon (hopefully) be involved in actual experiences. Would never be someone to be off fantasising about a celebrity or anything like that, just doesn't do anything for me.

With my current gf, I know her well enough to know she'd be pretty uncomfortable with me retaining something like that. So wouldn't have anything like that (not involving her).

That's just me though, no problem with anyone seeing it differently.

Specialun

Love these "friend" stories

walkingshadow

Does YouPorn pay you for uploading a sex tape?

Toots

walkingshadow wrote: »

Does YouPorn pay you for uploading a sex tape?

Can't imagine the ex would be too happy about that, and some guy in the UK just got prosecuted for posting revenge porn so there's that to consider. Aside from the fact that it'd just be a sh!tty thing to do.

To the OP's friend I'd say this, if he's 100% sure his GF would be cool with him having those videos, then tell her. Hell, watching them together might make for some kinky sexy time. However if there's any doubt, as Seamus said, add them to the spank bank and delete them. Otherwise your 'friend' will probably end up in a PI thread some day: "Wife found sex tape of me and an ex on my laptop, now I'm sleeping in the shed"

Egginacup

Gongoozler wrote: »

If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.

People are in serious relationships and still watch pornography. A sex tape is just pornography with you in it. I doubt his current girlfriend would want to watch it but the guy himself can watch and get a kick out of it. Would you throw away all photos of you with previous girlfriends hanging off your arm just because you broke up with them?

Roquentin

sex tapes are dangerous

walkingshadow

Roquentin wrote: »

sex tapes are dangerous

so is ISIS.

Roquentin

walkingshadow wrote: »

so is ISIS.

sex tapes are at least seven and a half times more dangerous

Samaris

Honestly, I'd be inclined to delete it. It's from the past, and he's serious with this girlfriend.

Then again, I wouldn't want someone to record me, and if I did, presumably due to temporary insanity, you'd be damned sure I'd want to be certain that they were deleted if we broke up. So honestly, I'd be more inclined to delete it for the peace of mind of the ex.

This crap gets onto the internet far too easily.