Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

What are the rules regarding sex tapes made with previous partners?

  • 14-07-2015 1:02pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭


    So I have this friend who made a sex tape with a previous partner. Not a significant relationship or anything, just a bit of fun for a couple of months. And he recorded some of that fun (not secretly!). And now he has a girlfriend who he's fairly serious about.

    So it's he allowed to keep the footage? It's nothing spectacular and password protected on his tablet and everything.

    And no, I'm not sticking up the videos!


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    Legally? No idea; try the Legal Discussion forum:
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=633

    Read through their charter; it's a very serious forum
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057083888

    Morally: Best tell him to ask his girlfriend if he can keep it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,001 ✭✭✭recylingbin


    Rules are to make it as hot as possible. Include tit shots.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,426 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    blue note wrote: »
    So I have this friend who made a sex tape with a previous partner. Not a significant relationship or anything, just a bit of fun for a couple of months. And he recorded some of that fun (not secretly!). And now he has a girlfriend who he's fairly serious about.

    So it's he allowed to keep the footage? It's nothing spectacular and password protected on his tablet and everything.

    And no, I'm not sticking up the videos!

    You have a friend? Its you after recording some 'ol one in your shower.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,428 ✭✭✭Talib Fiasco


    If both gave consent to it then it's fine, but the fact they are no longer in a relationship means that the tape has no relevance to their lives now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭DeadHand


    Best to erase the recording without ever letting the current girlfriend know of it's existence.

    I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    DeadHand wrote: »
    Best to erase the recording without ever letting the current girlfriend know of it's existence.

    I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.

    Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    blue note wrote: »
    Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!

    And there's no issue of consent either now or at the time. It's just a bit weird now having videos of him banging someone else. But it would be a shame to delete them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭DeadHand


    blue note wrote: »
    Deadhand isn't sure why he'd want to keep it? With a name like that I'd say you've a good idea!

    Haha.

    If someone needs to watch themselves have sex to derive some self esteem I'd suggest they have much deeper problems than a few dirty videos on their tablet.

    It's a remnant of the past, if he wishes to move forward with this new partner he needs to let it go.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,255 ✭✭✭✭The_Minister


    Tombi! wrote: »
    Legally? No idea; try the Legal Discussion forum:
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=633

    Read through their charter; it's a very serious forum
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057083888

    Morally: Best tell him to ask his girlfriend if he can keep it.

    Legally:
    http://www.lawsociety.ie/Documents/Gazette/Gazette%202015/Gazette-april2015.pdf
    (WARNING: Massive file)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,263 ✭✭✭Gongoozler


    If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

    Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

    Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.

    Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend. I'd say it goes without saying that any current partner would hate to hear about a sex tape in existence with a previous partner I'd be seriously disturbed if it heard my girlfriend had a video of her having sex with someone else!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    I'm a qualified barrister, so the best thing to do is send me a copy of the tape so I can advise you accordingly.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,084 ✭✭✭✭Kirby


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else. .

    Why not? Just like a footballer would look back fondly at clips of his best goals at the end of his career. :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,263 ✭✭✭Gongoozler


    blue note wrote: »
    Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend.

    Classy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭eamonnq


    She may become famous and he may be able to sell it to the Sun.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,084 ✭✭✭✭Kirby


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    Classy

    Come off it. Everybody keeps secrets from their loved ones. It's healthy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,739 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    He should ask himself 1) how his gf would feel if she knew he had it and 2) how he'd feel if he found out that his gf was hanging onto a steamy video of her and a previous partner. How devastating would it be to find out, on top of all the usual ex baggage, that your partner was whacking it to a video of him and her.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    Why the **** would anyone want to look at themselves riding? Vanity? Try beat their best time? Narcissism?

    I've been called a Narcissist but looking at myself f**king..... no thanks....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    blue note wrote: »
    Obviously it had to be a secret from your current girlfriend. I'd say it goes without saying that any current partner would hate to hear about a sex tape in existence with a previous partner I'd be seriously disturbed if it heard my girlfriend had a video of her having sex with someone else!

    Why would you find that disturbing and why would the cause of that disturbance not apply to your friend?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,279 ✭✭✭The Bishop Basher


    He's clearly keeping it for the odd sneaky ****.

    The posters above can look puzzled, act confused, and exhibit all kinds of faux emotions but right or wrong, that's the reality.


  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Is it really a sex tape, or a Vine of a session (start to finish)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Tony Beetroot


    Would you need a vhs to play the tape?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

    What if they were smokin hot though?

    Married I get, but deleting wild and crazy rendezvous mementos as a matter of course, seems a touch.. reckless.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    Having that kind of footage of an ex seems all kinds of creepy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    Kev W wrote: »
    Having that kind of footage of an ex seems all kinds of creepy.

    A Wild Token White Knight appears!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    Kev W wrote: »
    Why would you find that disturbing and why would the cause of that disturbance not apply to your friend?

    I'd assume it would apply to everyone. If it didn't I'd wonder about that persons interest in the relationship. That's why the decent thing to do would be to keep it a secret.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    blue note wrote: »
    I'd assume it would apply to everyone. If it didn't I'd wonder about that persons interest in the relationship. That's why the decent thing to do would be to keep it a secret.

    I would say the decent thing would be delete it rather than lie about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    Cormac... wrote: »
    A Wild Token White Knight appears!

    I'm not sure how being creeped out by keeping a sex tape with one's ex makes me a White Knight.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    Kev W wrote: »
    I'm not sure how being creeped out by keeping a sex tape with one's ex makes me a White Knight.

    Ex is a strong word. Just a girl he was banging. No emotional relationship.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    blue note wrote: »
    Ex is a strong word. Just a girl he was banging. No emotional relationship.

    Same creepiness applies.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    Super-Rush wrote: »
    I'm a qualified barrister, so the best thing to do is send me a copy of the tape so I can advise you accordingly.

    Yes, I too am a qualified barrister. We can liaise with each other on its contents and give the OP the legal advice.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,671 ✭✭✭blue note


    Galway K9 wrote: »
    Yes, I too am a qualified barrister. We can liaise with each other on its contents and give the OP the legal advice.

    There's much better stuff available than his scrawny pasty self. It's not worth requesting.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Ashbx


    Kirby wrote: »
    Come off it. Everybody keeps secrets from their loved ones. It's healthy.

    Keeping secrets happens, of course! Is it healthy??? Certainly not!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,977 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    I still have some recordings of me and an ex. I watch them once a year I'd say, I look really hot in them so it's a nice reminder :o my husband has seen them, no issue there.

    I think I'll delete them though, no reason to have them bar a little ego boost every now and then.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Ashbx


    Its a bit of a non question, isnt it? If you had to clarify on boards what your morals should be, you know what the answer is.

    If he (you) wants any sort of relationship with this future girl, then he (you) will most definitely need to get rid of the video!


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 369 ✭✭walkingshadow


    PandaPoo wrote: »
    I still have some recordings of me and an ex. I watch them once a year I'd say, I look really hot in them so it's a nice reminder :o my husband has seen them, no issue there.

    I think I'll delete them though, no reason to have them bar a little ego boost every now and then.

    Please don't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,190 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    I'd say there are two chances of his current girlfriend approving of it.

    Think of it this way - if she had a sex tape of herself and her ex and she wanted to keep it so she could watch it while she was feeding the pony, how would he feel about it. Probably not good.

    As sad as it would probably make him I think he probably needs to stick it in some backup file where he can forget about it completely, or watch it, commit it to the spank bank and then delete it.


  • Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I think it'd be mannerly to delete it when the relationship ends, and to leave the gf in the dark about it's existence, forever.


  • Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DeadHand wrote: »
    I'm not sure why he'd want to keep it.
    Really? You can't think of any reason?

    I wouldn't erase a sex tape if I had one. I mean, when you're seventy and you can't even pull yourself into bed, it might be nice to have that stuff lying around for, eh, memories and suchlike...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Ashbx


    Really? You can't think of any reason?

    I wouldn't erase a sex tape if I had one. I mean, when you're seventy and you can't even pull yourself into bed, it might be nice to have that stuff lying around for, eh, memories and suchlike...

    Well if he is so happy in his new relationship, he wont want to look at it! I know I certainly don't want to see myself with any of my ex's.

    They are ex's for a reason!


  • Advertisement
  • Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Ashbx wrote: »
    Well if he is so happy in his new relationship, he wont want to look at it! I know I certainly don't want to see myself with any of my ex's.

    They are ex's for a reason!


    I can't help but feel that one has nothing to do with the other. It's like saying that if you fancy your bf/gf you won't ever look at anyone else. It sounds nice, but it has nothing to do with real human nature.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 667 ✭✭✭OneOfThem


    Think it'd depend on the current partner. I had a few (most pictures/videos girls had sent me, rather than ones involving me) when I got with my ex, it came up in conversation and I told her. She didn't have a problem, was pretty enthusiastic actually. Genuinely just never thought to tell her before then. Never crossed my mind to delete them either. As to why I kept them? Well for me, porn involving girls I'd actually been with would always be far ahead of porn involving some random girl I never will be with. Would be the same in terms of imagination based things. Would always have tended to think of previous actual experiences or girls that would soon (hopefully) be involved in actual experiences. Would never be someone to be off fantasising about a celebrity or anything like that, just doesn't do anything for me.

    With my current gf, I know her well enough to know she'd be pretty uncomfortable with me retaining something like that. So wouldn't have anything like that (not involving her).

    That's just me though, no problem with anyone seeing it differently.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    Love these "friend" stories


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 369 ✭✭walkingshadow


    Does YouPorn pay you for uploading a sex tape?


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,978 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Does YouPorn pay you for uploading a sex tape?

    Can't imagine the ex would be too happy about that, and some guy in the UK just got prosecuted for posting revenge porn so there's that to consider. Aside from the fact that it'd just be a sh!tty thing to do.

    To the OP's friend I'd say this, if he's 100% sure his GF would be cool with him having those videos, then tell her. Hell, watching them together might make for some kinky sexy time. However if there's any doubt, as Seamus said, add them to the spank bank and delete them. Otherwise your 'friend' will probably end up in a PI thread some day: "Wife found sex tape of me and an ex on my laptop, now I'm sleeping in the shed"


  • Site Banned Posts: 2,922 ✭✭✭Egginacup


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    If you're in a relationship with someone, I can't see why you'd want to keep a sex tape of someone else.

    Plus would you not want to hear what your current girlfriend thinks of it...? as in would she be ok with that? Or is the idea to keep it a secret.


    People are in serious relationships and still watch pornography. A sex tape is just pornography with you in it. I doubt his current girlfriend would want to watch it but the guy himself can watch and get a kick out of it. Would you throw away all photos of you with previous girlfriends hanging off your arm just because you broke up with them?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,130 ✭✭✭Roquentin


    sex tapes are dangerous


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 369 ✭✭walkingshadow


    Roquentin wrote: »
    sex tapes are dangerous

    so is ISIS.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,130 ✭✭✭Roquentin


    so is ISIS.

    sex tapes are at least seven and a half times more dangerous


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    Honestly, I'd be inclined to delete it. It's from the past, and he's serious with this girlfriend.

    Then again, I wouldn't want someone to record me, and if I did, presumably due to temporary insanity, you'd be damned sure I'd want to be certain that they were deleted if we broke up. So honestly, I'd be more inclined to delete it for the peace of mind of the ex.

    This crap gets onto the internet far too easily.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement