Would you go to a wedding without giving a gift?

freshpopcorn

I saw on another forum here about a person saying that not everyone who attended there wedding gave a gift or even a card.
A good few posters were saying they saw nothing wrong with this.
I'd feel pretty bad tough going to a wedding either by myself or a couple and having a meal, etc and not giving the couple a gift or a card. If I couldn't afford to give the couple a gift I probably wouldn't attend the wedding unless we were family or very close.
P.S I wouldn't be offended if I didn't get gifts at my wedding. If I do get married tough it will be a very small family wedding.

darkpagandeath

I you were invited I see no problem not giving a gift if one can't afford it.

cloud493

My presence is a gift that you can't just slap a euro sign on.

Uriel.

Personally, I wouldn't.

At the same time I wouldn't be offended if a guest at my wedding didn't give one, as was the case with a couple of guests at my recent wedding.

eviltwin

I had a no gift policy at my wedding and everyone bar one stuck to it. I didn't want any gifts. I don't know why anyone would expect them tbh.

Cold War Kid

No way. Bad manners (although only give what you can afford). If you don't appreciate the invite don't go.

darkpagandeath

cloud493 wrote: »

My presence is a gift that you can't just slap a euro sign on.

Something like this ?

Ruu

I'd do an auld sing song as a present. :eek:

Tony Beetroot

You would want to be giving €200 as a couple going to a wedding at a minimum, people who dont give any gift are tight arses.

darkpagandeath

Tony Beetroot wrote: »

You would want to be giving €200 as a couple going to a wedding at a minimum, people who dont give any gift are tight arses.

Who gets married these days that don't live together and already have all the stuff they need ?

brevity

If it's to the full wedding then I'd say give what you can afford but if its the afters then don't.

The_Valeyard

Yeah, I'd feel bad about it.

Weddings are expensive. I'd never go to one without a gift/money-card.

freshpopcorn

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Who gets married these days that don't live together and already have all the stuff they need ?

Very few to be honest. If I was ever giving someone a gift for a wedding/moving into a new home. I'd always get a gift receipt incase they all ready had it or didn't like it.

darkpagandeath

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Yeah, I'd feel bad about it.

Weddings are expensive. I'd never go to one without a gift/money-card.

No people make weddings expensive.

ToddyDoody

"The gift is myself"

Mr. Incognito

When I was a trainee I couldnt afford gifts and my mates didnt care.

That's because they were my friends, and if I get married I dont want gifts from them

It's about spending the day with people you love.

I grew out of comparing what I got with my friends after my first Communion. Some people never grow out of it it seems.

Give what you can afford. Being there means a LOT more to anyone who cares

Uriel.

Bank draft is my preferred approach. Wouldnt want to give someone something they didn't need/want.

Though with close family members such as siblings I'd give them something I know they wanted/needed plus bank draft

My name is URL

I've never brought a gift to a wedding. If I'm buying a gif I always either give it to the couple before they're married or afterwards.

Huntergonzo

In fairness weddings can be incredibly boring, so when I have the misfortune of being invited to one I don't care if I have a gift or card with me or not, my presence is present enough.

Buona Fortuna

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Yeah, I'd feel bad about it.

Weddings are expensive. I'd never go to one without a gift/money-card.

Yep - if I couldn't afford a gift I wouldn't go.

Although, having said that, being a meserable fecker having animals to look after, I very rarely go to any.

Uriel.

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

When I was a trainee I couldnt afford gifts and my mates didnt care.

That's because they were my friends, and if I get married I dont want gifts from them

It's about spending the day with people you love.

I grew out of comparing what I got with my friends after my first Communion. Some people never grow out of it it seems.

Give what you can afford. Being there means a LOT more to anyone who cares

Agreed. I would hate someone to decline an invite to my wedding because they couldn't afford a gift. I invited them cos I wanted them there not because of what they might get me

jayboi

What would be the going rate for a individual going to a good friends wedding out of curiosity?

My name is URL

Tony Beetroot wrote: »

You would want to be giving €200 as a couple going to a wedding at a minimum, people who dont give any gift are tight arses.

And anyone who invites others to their wedding exclusively based on the expectation of receiving a gift is just a cunt

Uriel.

jayboi wrote: »

What would be the going rate for a individual going to a good friends wedding out of curiosity?

How long is a piece of string.

The last of my good friends to get married in gave him 200euro and and 200 euro bottle of whiskey I was groomsman though and he's my best friend so...

darkpagandeath

jayboi wrote: »

What would be the going rate for a individual going to a good friends wedding out of curiosity?

Decking.

ballsymchugh

Ruu wrote: »

I'd do an auld sing song as a present. :eek:

i can picture it now...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSzDfhjAWLE

eviltwin

Tony Beetroot wrote: »

You would want to be giving €200 as a couple going to a wedding at a minimum, people who dont give any gift are tight arses.

Minimum :eek:

Fcuk that, I invited people because I wanted them there not to make back my investment. I'd be gutted to think someone would not be there just because they feel they can't afford a decent gift. Guests go to a lot of expense to get there, in my case everyone flew in from overseas at their own expense, took time off work to be there. No way would I accept a gift on top of all that. That's just greedy.

Comer1

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Who gets married these days that don't live together and already have all the stuff they need ?

SINNER!!!!!!

SATAN, GET THEE BEHIND ME!!!!!

Cold War Kid

jayboi wrote: »

What would be the going rate for a individual going to a good friends wedding out of curiosity?

What you can afford, there's no going rate - shouldn't be anyway.

Cold War Kid

Huntergonzo wrote: »

In fairness weddings can be incredibly boring, so when I have the misfortune of being invited to one I don't care if I have a gift or card with me or not, my presence is present enough.

They seem like the weddings of people you're not close to. Wouldn't it be easier just to decline?

freshpopcorn

eviltwin wrote: »

Minimum :eek:

Fcuk that, I invited people because I wanted them there not to make back my investment. I'd be gutted to think someone would not be there just because they feel they can't afford a decent gift. Guests go to a lot of expense to get there, in my case everyone flew in from overseas at their own expense, took time off work to be there. No way would I accept a gift on top of all that. That's just greedy.

That's a different situation. I don't think anybody would expect gifts of people who had to fly to there wedding or travel to there wedding.

eviltwin

freshpopcorn wrote: »

That's a different situation. I don't think anybody would expect gifts of people who had to fly to there wedding or travel to there wedding.

You would be surprised

darkpagandeath

eviltwin wrote: »

You would be surprised

Aye if you have to fly generally those peoples weddings have one of them donation things. Like pay for our jet ski or dinner for one night lark. Pre set list that all the cheap stuff goes pretty fast if you don't get on it like.

Uriel.

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Aye if you have to fly generally those peoples weddings have one of them donation things. Like pay for our jet ski or dinner for one night lark. Pre set list that all the cheap stuff goes pretty fast if you don't get on it like.

That sounds awful tbh

darkpagandeath

Uriel. wrote: »

That sounds awful tbh

Surprised people are not crowd funding them now tbh.

Cold War Kid

Oh those weddings where people stipulate how much they want or where they want gifts from etc: decline. Never had the experience though.

Huntergonzo

Cold War Kid wrote: »

They seem like the weddings of people you're not close to. Wouldn't it be easier just to decline?

I generally do decline unless it's people I'm close to, but funnily enough the best wedding I was ever at was last year and it was a mate's, girlfriend's mother who was getting married (now there's a pretty loose connection).

It was a civil ceremony that lasted about 10mins (my pint was still cold when I came back out) and they didn't really bother with speeches except to thank everyone who turned up, now that's a wedding, no church or other stupid bullsh1t!

ps, personally I'm not even really a fan of marriage, can't see the point in it, but if you're going to get married and insist that I attend, please please please make it a quick one and NO rambling cringey speeches.

Cold War Kid

Bad form to give absolutely nothing if you've a choice not to go. It doesn't need to be a particular amount or anything. If a €20 book voucher is all you can afford, so be it. It's just a goodwill gesture, like bringing a bottle of wine or a few beers over if visiting a friend and they're doing food or whatever.

anncoates

Everybody will say blah blah I wouldn't mind, yada yada but going to a wedding without at least a well wishing card or small inexpensive gift is a scabby, cheeky cnut's game, to be fair.

mud

Yes I have gone to weddings without a gift. I was totally strapped for cash and the cost of getting to the wedding blew my budget. I didn't buy new clothes or splash on a hotel, there genuinely wasn't anywhere I could get money from.

I also knew that my friends would have been really sad and upset if I hadn't been there so I chose to go empty-handed rather than miss out on my friend's big day. The weddings were close together and I made the right choice by being there.

Within six months I was able to gift them with nice presents and it all worked out great.

I am extremely close to these people which makes a difference maybe?

Riverireland

brevity wrote: »

If it's to the full wedding then I'd say give what you can afford but if its the afters then don't.

I agree with this. Though if invited to the full wedding but only attending the afters I'd give the full gift.

miezekatze

I've always given something, although I think a lot of people in Ireland tend to go a bit over the top - 200 € per couple, seriously!? Personally I'd want a very small wedding and wouldn't really care about gifts.

westcoast66

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Who gets married these days that don't live together and already have all the stuff they need ?

We did. She moved in on the wedding night!

eviltwin

westcoast66 wrote: »

We did. She moved in on the wedding night!

Brave people!

Frynge

I would request a specific gift from each person I invite such as a mixer or a bike for my child. I would also ask certain people to give extra gifts if they have certain skills like maybe ask one person to make cupcakes or someone else to do a painting for me.

retro:electro

If I couldn't afford to give a gift/card I just wouldn't attend. I'd be mortified turning up empty handed. From having weddings in the family and as bad as it sounds you always remember the ones who gave nothing. It just smacks of meanness.

Cold War Kid

mud wrote: »

Yes I have gone to weddings without a gift. I was totally strapped for cash and the cost of getting to the wedding blew my budget. I didn't buy new clothes or splash on a hotel, there genuinely wasn't anywhere I could get money from.

I also knew that my friends would have been really sad and upset if I hadn't been there so I chose to go empty-handed rather than miss out on my friend's big day. The weddings were close together and I made the right choice by being there.

Within six months I was able to gift them with nice presents and it all worked out great.

I am extremely close to these people which makes a difference maybe?

Oh I just assumed "going to a wedding with a gift" wasn't literal and it also covered giving a gift after or before the actual event. That's totally reasonable imo, it's not like you have to deposit your present somewhere in full view when you arrive. Well hopefully anyway!

Buona Fortuna

freshpopcorn wrote: »

That's a different situation. I don't think anybody would expect gifts of people who had to fly to there wedding or travel to there wedding.

No. Though when we got married I might have said Ka-Ching, a couple of times when all the Yank acceptances came in

anncoates

Certain amount of projection and abdication of personal responsibility in these threads sometimes.

As in, 'weddings shouldn't be about money grabbing and gifts' so - phew - therefore I'm absolved from showing a modicum of manners and generosity to my friends.

Electric Sheep

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

No. Though when we got married I might have said Ka-Ching, a couple of times when all the Yank acceptances came in

Why?

Buona Fortuna

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Why?

Being a shallow youth at the time, I just thought of the money, cheques, filthy notes and postal orders pouring in.